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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    Bloody anon function!!! That was me again.
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    Snowy, I think the feeling of inadequacy is one firmly rooted in your life base. Many people that exhibit feelings of inadequacy do so because they started life on the backfoot. Is this true of you?

    Whether it's being the underdog sibling or the tryhard student, the feeling of always being runner-up can truly destroy a life path.

    Is this true of you? Do you have more successful siblings, or a co-worker that bests you? A partner that demeans you even without trying?

    I am sorry to stereotype. I merely mean to determine the root of it. X
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    "Pure" Eating Disorders - that is, an eating disorder that does not stem from another mental disorder - believe it or not, are one in over forty.

    That means that you have a 39 in 40 chance that your illness, your skewed vision of eating, is not with the food itself, but with another unrelated issue.

    If you feel you are unworthy of someone's attention, you might choose punishment. If you lack love, ambition, sex - you might find yourself satiating yourself. Food is all around, it's necessary to be alive, and we must do it to survive, so it's a clearly obvious go-to if you want to fill a void - likewise, as the lifeblood that drives us, the fuel that powers us, by begrudging yourself that, you are in effect telling yourself you do not deserve to be driven, to be powered, that day.

    Food is nothing more than energy that takes various forms. A calorie is nothing more than a measurement of heat expended as energy. The more heat generated, the more energy you create.

    Humans live because we consume and expend energy. That's all there is to it. So consider all other aspects of your life. Are you expending a lot of energy? consuming a lot, but not expending?

    The chances are when you boil everything down elementally, you forget that there was an underlying demon the entire time. So, with a 39/40 chance of having some other emotional problem, have you considered why you want to ply yourself with excess energy, or rid your body of it?
    So true, you wise man.
    Well clearly I have an anxiety issue, I don't think anybody would doubt that-and it's made me a bit depressed (when my family might have had a genetic vulnerability to both). And without being flippant to any diagnosed sufferers of it, I seem to inherited some of my mum's borderline OCD.

    Why it's chosen to manifest itself as a fear of a certain food and lifestyle I have no idea, Toto. How I can eat an all you can eat buffet with friends for lunch but tense up over a cheese butty again for dinner no idea :/
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    (Original post by Riku)
    So true, you wise man.
    Well clearly I have an anxiety issue, I don't think anybody would doubt that-and it's made me a bit depressed (when my family might have had a genetic vulnerability to both). And without being flippant to any diagnosed sufferers of it, I seem to inherited some of my mum's borderline OCD.

    Why it's chosen to manifest itself as a fear of a certain food and lifestyle I have no idea, Toto. How I can eat an all you can eat buffet with friends for lunch but tense up over a cheese butty again for dinner no idea :/
    Oh, you asked me an easy question!! This is rare, dude!!

    It's peer mentality. Pack, group, horde intellect.

    If a survey of one person finds something disgusting, but you're presented with "the survey says "disgusting", then you are swayed.

    In a survey of ten thousand people, that one person finds something disgusting, then 9,999 people found it reasonable.

    It is 9999/10000 reasonable.

    Now imagine that one person is... YOU!

    Yes, your mind does tend to do the extremist thing now and again, but perspective is a really amazing tool. It's why the combination of isolation and eating disorder is the REAL killer.

    If you're anorexic, with a huge group of pals, you can talk. Consider what's fathomable. Feasible. "No way, you ate fifty bits of pizza?!" "Yeah, three of us had four bits. One of us ate no bits. One of us ate fifty bits." Suddenly the fact you ate no pieces of pizza is determined as the insane extreme on the spectrum, and you are nowhere near normal. But if "no pizza" was always your axis, your point of reference, then it is "normal", right?

    If you isolate yourself you have zero axis but the one you plant yourself, and that axis is fundamentally incorrect. Only through perspective can your axis (and of course, the spectrum of knowledge) be correct.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
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    Don't worry, I'll have harder ones for the future no doubt :P

    Wow, thanks for the insight! Once I'm in that distorted frame of mind it's hard to get out since what I'm thinking becomes the physical reality, cue hyperventilation etc.
    So I'll try and bear this in mind for future. It's definitely true I'm less worried with friends or family around
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    "Pure" Eating Disorders - that is, an eating disorder that does not stem from another mental disorder - believe it or not, are one in over forty.

    That means that you have a 39 in 40 chance that your illness, your skewed vision of eating, is not with the food itself, but with another unrelated issue.

    If you feel you are unworthy of someone's attention, you might choose punishment. If you lack love, ambition, sex - you might find yourself satiating yourself. Food is all around, it's necessary to be alive, and we must do it to survive, so it's a clearly obvious go-to if you want to fill a void - likewise, as the lifeblood that drives us, the fuel that powers us, by begrudging yourself that, you are in effect telling yourself you do not deserve to be driven, to be powered, that day.

    Food is nothing more than energy that takes various forms. A calorie is nothing more than a measurement of heat expended as energy. The more heat generated, the more energy you create.

    Humans live because we consume and expend energy. That's all there is to it. So consider all other aspects of your life. Are you expending a lot of energy? consuming a lot, but not expending?

    The chances are when you boil everything down elementally, you forget that there was an underlying demon the entire time. So, with a 39/40 chance of having some other emotional problem, have you considered why you want to ply yourself with excess energy, or rid your body of it?
    The way you word and phrase everything helps me see things about myself that I already knew, but turned a blind eye too.

    I've known for ages there's something else causing me distress and turmoil in my life, but I've never decided to face it. Now I've had the ed thoughts, feelings and opinions for so long that I can't even remember what I was like before.

    I know I have various tendancies (stress, anxiety, paranoia, low self worth, low self esteem, bad self perception, rapidly changing emotions, manic thought processes (in the sense that it's frantic and such), lots of energy to no energy etc) but I've no idea what they are, or if I should seek help about them - because I don't know what's considered 'normal' or not. Everyone gets stressed and anxious right? Everyone has good and bad days?

    I can also pinpoint parts in my life that have contributed to such feelings (abusive relationships, single parenthood, people abusing my trust, being lied to extensively, abortion etc), but again - lots of people go through that. They're hardly extenuating circumstances for one having emotional/psychological issues.

    My own problem is that I know there's something wrong, but I'm too scared to seek any help because I can't admit that it could be something serious as opposed to just a 'bad' day.
    I feel like a doctor would laugh me out the surgery and say everyone feels stressed and anxious etc.

    I just don't trust anything.
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    Being alone with my thoughts used to bring me some comfort. Now ot terrifies me


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    • #183
    #183

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    bulimia nervosa?
    No anorexia nervosa with a tendency to throw up too
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    Quite fancy going to the gym today after a week of not going but for the umpteenth time feel a need to ask for permission that it's not ED whipping my ass over there :/

    Seems my disorder's taking away the ability for me to trust my own decision and need constant validation. How can you let yourself trust your own instincts when they might be clouded or corrupted?
    mmm
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    (Original post by rubixcyoob)
    The way you word and phrase everything helps me see things about myself that I already knew, but turned a blind eye too.

    I've known for ages there's something else causing me distress and turmoil in my life, but I've never decided to face it. Now I've had the ed thoughts, feelings and opinions for so long that I can't even remember what I was like before.

    I know I have various tendancies (stress, anxiety, paranoia, low self worth, low self esteem, bad self perception, rapidly changing emotions, manic thought processes (in the sense that it's frantic and such), lots of energy to no energy etc) but I've no idea what they are, or if I should seek help about them - because I don't know what's considered 'normal' or not. Everyone gets stressed and anxious right? Everyone has good and bad days?

    I can also pinpoint parts in my life that have contributed to such feelings (abusive relationships, single parenthood, people abusing my trust, being lied to extensively, abortion etc), but again - lots of people go through that. They're hardly extenuating circumstances for one having emotional/psychological issues.

    My own problem is that I know there's something wrong, but I'm too scared to seek any help because I can't admit that it could be something serious as opposed to just a 'bad' day.
    I feel like a doctor would laugh me out the surgery and say everyone feels stressed and anxious etc.

    I just don't trust anything.
    Rubix, everyone feels stressed and anxious from time to time and we all deserve attention and loving support for those times. But if it's an ongoing feeling which pervades your life in general, or it's an extreme feeling, then that's usually a sign of deeper issues.

    For example, a hard day of work is stressful, which isn't as severe a problem as being worried that you're going to lose your job after a slip-up or that your colleagues don't like you (anxiety), which isn't as severe as genuinely believing that your co-workers are talking about you behind your back and plotting to hurt you (severe anxiety/paranoia) which again isn't as severe as being unable to sleep at night in case one of them breaks into your house and knifes you in your bed (clinical paranoia).
    Anything more than mild anxiety and the doctor should be taking you pretty seriously. With just about any report of an emotional disturbance they're duty-bound by profession to treat you with respect anyway, you need to find yourself a new GP if they won't do that.
    Also being involved in abusive relationships and ties as intimate as relationships which ended in abortion and single parenthood are more than justification for psychological disturbance.

    The symptoms you're describing could be anything from general stress to severe anxiety (paranoia/racing thoughts) to bipolar disorder (racing thoughts/lots of energy to no energy). We're not qualified to find that out for you and the diagnosis itself isn't as important as you being able to get the help you deserve.

    It sounds like you're very worried no-one's going to believe what you're saying is a real problem, but I can assure you that a good doctor will. Please don't be scared to tell them how you feel
    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Riku)
    Rubix, everyone feels stressed and anxious from time to time and we all deserve attention and loving support for those times. But if it's an ongoing feeling which pervades your life in general, or it's an extreme feeling, then that's usually a sign of deeper issues.

    For example, a hard day of work is stressful, which isn't as severe a problem as being worried that you're going to lose your job after a slip-up or that your colleagues don't like you (anxiety), which isn't as severe as genuinely believing that your co-workers are talking about you behind your back and plotting to hurt you (severe anxiety/paranoia) which again isn't as severe as being unable to sleep at night in case one of them breaks into your house and knifes you in your bed (clinical paranoia).
    Anything more than mild anxiety and the doctor should be taking you pretty seriously. With just about any report of an emotional disturbance they're duty-bound by profession to treat you with respect anyway, you need to find yourself a new GP if they won't do that.
    Also being involved in abusive relationships and ties as intimate as relationships which ended in abortion and single parenthood are more than justification for psychological disturbance.

    The symptoms you're describing could be anything from general stress to severe anxiety (paranoia/racing thoughts) to bipolar disorder (racing thoughts/lots of energy to no energy). We're not qualified to find that out for you and the diagnosis itself isn't as important as you being able to get the help you deserve.

    It sounds like you're very worried no-one's going to believe what you're saying is a real problem, but I can assure you that a good doctor will. Please don't be scared to tell them how you feel
    :hugs:
    thank you Riku

    I'm not asking anyone here to diagnose me, nor would I expect anyone too. I just like having the space to get it out ... without actually having to speak or confide in people I know.

    I'm scared to seek help for a variety of reasons:
    1. What if there is something more serious wrong?
    2. What if there's nothing wrong and I'm just supposed to be this way forever?
    3. How do I convey such feelings and emotions to anyone, to make then understand? What I've said on here isn't even the tip of the emotional iceberg.
    4. How do I tell other people if there is something?
    5. The ignorance still provides a little safe haven and I hate leaving such familiarity.



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    this might be a long shot, but is anyone on Fluoxetine?

    iv been put on it for my EDish behaviour and depression, know nothing about it.
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    this might be a long shot, but is anyone on Fluoxetine?

    iv been put on it for my EDish behaviour and depression, know nothing about it.
    Someone on here is, I just don't remember who. Toto? Cinnie??
    • #81
    #81

    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    this might be a long shot, but is anyone on Fluoxetine?

    iv been put on it for my EDish behaviour and depression, know nothing about it.
    I've been offered it twice which I've rejected.

    Read about it, you'll feel a lot more empowered.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been offered it twice which I've rejected.

    Read about it, you'll feel a lot more empowered.
    im not alowed to read the stuff, because ill become fixated on the rare side effects, then freak myself out.

    i didnt have much choice to reject.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Someone on here is, I just don't remember who. Toto? Cinnie??
    possibly Cinnie maybe then
    • #76
    #76

    Yo guys all being well I will start uni this year and I'm having a dilemma regarding self catered or catered accommodation. Dunno if it needs to be spoilered but I will to be on the safe side.. Basically since a load of you have been to uni I would like your advice on which would be the best for someone having a difficult recovery ^^
    Spoiler:
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    With self catered, I have more choice over what I can eat which might make me feel safer, and I don't have to eat in front of loads of people. However, I might end up not buying food in an attempt to save money or not cooking because I'm tired/lazy. If I go for catered, I've already paid for it so I'd be more likely to eat it maybe?? But there'd be lots of people in the dining hall which would make me nervous and I wouldn't know what was in the food (nutrition wise) which I also hate... :argh:
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Snowy, I think the feeling of inadequacy is one firmly rooted in your life base. Many people that exhibit feelings of inadequacy do so because they started life on the backfoot. Is this true of you?

    Whether it's being the underdog sibling or the tryhard student, the feeling of always being runner-up can truly destroy a life path.

    Is this true of you? Do you have more successful siblings, or a co-worker that bests you? A partner that demeans you even without trying?

    I am sorry to stereotype. I merely mean to determine the root of it. X
    I... I'm thinking about what you've said, and the first thing coming to mind is a memory of telling my dad I'd achieved 98% in a mental maths test, and being asked "where's the other 2%? What did you get wrong? Why?"

    I'm the oldest of 3, and one of my sisters suffers from asperger's, so she always got more attention than me while I was left to get on with things - which is entirely justified, of course, but maybe this contributes?

    I was always voted ugliest in the class at school, and bullied mercilessly - apart from my size. This was the only thing I was praised for - I was skinny. Skinny and clever, but once you leave school academics take a back seat.

    To be honest I think I suffer from a combination of crippling low self-esteem, body dysmprphic disorder and obesophobia.
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    I haven't been on this thread in a while. I had anorexia earlier this year and got sent away from CAMHS I had to recover on my own and it's been hard but I'm much healthier than I was. Is there anyone on this thread thats recovered? Didnt know where to post this really. Just wondering if my ED tendencies will be with me for the rest of my life. In the back of my mind I still calorie count but not to the point of restricting to 300 a day like I was. Since I've got better I only eat very very small meals like sometimes I can't even finish a childs sized meal so my new boyfriend has been having to get used to giving me very small portions. A doctor told me before my stomach had shrunk when I had an ultrasound so this will probably be down to that?

    I can't eat anything unhealthy or greasy or anything fattening but I do eat stuff like chocolate or popcorn when I watch films with my boyfriend. I was such a picky eater before and still am I cant stomach anything with a texture I dont like like pasta or mince etc. I still weigh myself daily. During my anorexia I lived with my nana and she was told to take scales off me but I weigh myself at my boyfriends everyday and I'm kind of gutted I'm up to 10 stone so I excercise loads now. Even though I've slowly got better are these things ever going to go away or are they stuck with me for life? I still don't ever feel hungry and could go a day and not eat but I've mostly snapped out of that by forcing myself to eat. I hope this post isn't triggering to anybody, sorry
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    this might be a long shot, but is anyone on Fluoxetine?

    iv been put on it for my EDish behaviour and depression, know nothing about it.
    I'm on it at the moment
    Flouxetine's an anti-depressant, SSRI (serotonin re-intake inhibitor). For those with low levels of serotonin in their brain (pleasure/feel-good chemical) it helps to rebalance it, as quite common people who are clinically depressed are that way lack serotonin.
    It's often used with EDs partly because by nature of being mental illness they often have underlying self-esteem issues/tendencies towards destructive habits and ways of thinking.
    However, it's also used because one of the dangerous things about either binging or restricting is they both upset chemical balances-the former because processed sugar and trans-fats are 'anti-nutrients' which in excess strip the body of vital nutrients for physical and mental well-being, the latter because it leaves you malnourished and without those nutrients in the first place. Most foods release serotonin-in a non-disordered brain, eating food is associated with the activation of neurotransmitters and release of pleasure hormones such as serotonin and dopamine. (Bread, pasta, and potatoes are just some of them-another good reason to eat carbs)
    So it's not greedy or shameful to enjoy your grub! It's a natural feeling

    Fluoxetine's quite handy when you're really stuck in a rut/lacking energy to make basic choices about your own well-being (as I was when I hit severe depression about last October). There can be some bad physical/psychological side effects especially if you're under 18 (and possibly 25 since believe it or not, your brain's still developing then, I didn't kknow ) so if you are prescribed you need to keep in touch with your GP and report anything which you don't think is quite right straight away. Whenever you start being weaned off or increasing/decreasing dosage you need to stay in touch with them again in case of sudden unexpected mood/behaviour changes

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Physically I got headaches, cramps, feeling sick and really lost my appetite for a while (which might have been the depression or the meds). Mentally I started getting bipolar symptoms: on the depressed side a voice in my head saying life was pointless, on the manic side that I was a god who was invulnerable, couldn't be electrocuted by train tracks, ran over etc. 0_o

    There's a risk for young people of increased suicidal thoughts and urges for the first few days/week so if you do take it you need to tell the GP about these feelings straight away.

    But this is an extreme and I have a wild imagination anyway :P these symptoms disappeared after about 3 weeks and I started feeling better



    Obviously it's not good to become dependent and best to be prescribed hand in hand with therapy, which will help you change the toxic thought processes which led to the ED/depression in the first place and hopefully start to naturally increase serotonin

    I'd recommend that you read up on it but don't take the side effects to heart, it says there's something like a 1 in 10,000 chance that any would happen and if they do then you just come off it and they' should disappear

    Hope this helps Poncho!
    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Riku)
    I'm on it at the moment
    Flouxetine's an anti-depressant, SSRI (serotonin re-intake inhibitor). For those with low levels of serotonin in their brain (pleasure/feel-good chemical) it helps to rebalance it, as quite common people who are clinically depressed are that way lack serotonin.
    It's often used with EDs partly because by nature of being mental illness they often have underlying self-esteem issues/tendencies towards destructive habits and ways of thinking.
    However, it's also used because one of the dangerous things about either binging or restricting is they both upset chemical balances-the former because processed sugar and trans-fats are 'anti-nutrients' which in excess strip the body of vital nutrients for physical and mental well-being, the latter because it leaves you malnourished and without those nutrients in the first place. Most foods release serotonin-in a non-disordered brain, eating food is associated with the activation of neurotransmitters and release of pleasure hormones such as serotonin and dopamine. (Bread, pasta, and potatoes are just some of them-another good reason to eat carbs)
    So it's not greedy or shameful to enjoy your grub! It's a natural feeling

    Fluoxetine's quite handy when you're really stuck in a rut/lacking energy to make basic choices about your own well-being (as I was when I hit severe depression about last October). There can be some bad physical/psychological side effects especially if you're under 18 (and possibly 25 since believe it or not, your brain's still developing then, I didn't kknow ) so if you are prescribed you need to keep in touch with your GP and report anything which you don't think is quite right straight away. Whenever you start being weaned off or increasing/decreasing dosage you need to stay in touch with them again in case of sudden unexpected mood/behaviour changes

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Physically I got headaches, cramps, feeling sick and really lost my appetite for a while (which might have been the depression or the meds). Mentally I started getting bipolar symptoms: on the depressed side a voice in my head saying life was pointless, on the manic side that I was a god who was invulnerable, couldn't be electrocuted by train tracks, ran over etc. 0_o

    There's a risk for young people of increased suicidal thoughts and urges for the first few days/week so if you do take it you need to tell the GP about these feelings straight away.

    But this is an extreme and I have a wild imagination anyway :P these symptoms disappeared after about 3 weeks and I started feeling better



    Obviously it's not good to become dependent and best to be prescribed hand in hand with therapy, which will help you change the toxic thought processes which led to the ED/depression in the first place and hopefully start to naturally increase serotonin

    I'd recommend that you read up on it but don't take the side effects to heart, it says there's something like a 1 in 10,000 chance that any would happen and if they do then you just come off it and they' should disappear

    Hope this helps Poncho!
    :hugs:
    cheers, im still waiting on CBT, but until that materializes, my dr thinks its best i stay on meds, i was on citalopram, but she lowered my dose (with a view to not being on meds anymore) but i got drastically worse, so i gave her a list, and she decided on fluoxetine.

    i know i should ignore the really uncommon side effects, but i have paranoia aswell, so then my brain jumps into over drive and next minuet i know, im getting all of them, so i find personally its safer for me not to read them until i have to...

    i had a look on the wiki page, and MHS choices page, but i prefer hearing stuff from real live people.
    especially on the ED side of things...

    thankyou
 
 
 
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