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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    *hugs*

    Thank you hun! I'm calmed down a bit. Time to revise for Implications. *le sigh*
    :hugs: to you too! Everything will be fine!
    And
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    It gets to a point where it's sort of funny in a really ****** up way. If something bad happens it's because you've eaten or because you're huge even though you're actually not and 'normal' people eat and don't give a **** and certainly don't blame bad things on eating! For me it was my thighs, for the last few minutes I was writing so intensely I was leaning foward and I was like 'Ew, they're spreading and melding together.' and then I sort of laughed at myself because I was thinking about my frigging THIGHS in an exam. This whole damn illness is such a head **** that sometimes you have to laugh at it. And well done on eating before hand! I have to tell myself that the momentary pain of eating is better than the pain of failing on results day because I couldn't eat to help me get through the exam. You don't realise how much energy it takes to do exams, I fell asleep as soon as I got home and I'm mentally drained now haha!
    You're so lovely! I really want you to be ok! :hugs:


    Ugh yeahh :/ how are you revising for implications?! I'm thinking I'm just going to read through the anthology a few more times, any other ideas?

    And
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    Ahh I so know what you mean! And you're like 'I don't have space in my brain to be worrying about this right now!' haha At least we can laugh about it, I guess. I do always do the thighs thing though, this far tmi but the worst time is when I'm on the loo and my legs are just there and so so... big. ah there's something you needed to know
    It was hard though because breakfast is one of those things I really really don't do ever, I still feel sick at the thought of it. Ahh that stupid pooey piece of poo :L


    Also about the boobs thing, I am jealous of you all :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    I just had a rant about that and lost the post. No offence hun but your mindset sounds pretty disordered. I did/sometimes do the same things. I used to live on chocolate and then I'd get terrified and live off liquids and then I'd get terrified of liquids and fast and then I'd end up 'binging' and then I'd compensate. That attitude is disgusting, tbh. It's so judgmental and unfair. :hugs: I really hope you get some help. Could you change your GP/get some therapy? A few months after I got out of hospital I was really struggling with eating and I blurted it out to my nurse and she weighed me and said 'At least your weight hasn't gone down.' so basically saying my not-eating was fine. It's so difficult to trust professionals when some of them are biased by their own views- my consultant used to call my ED 'dieting' and didn't understand why I got so angry about it. I know it's not the same thing but there does seem to be this view that you're ok if your weight is ok and in reality, that's not always the case. There will be someone out there who can offer you the help you deserve.

    We're all here for you. I hate that you (and people with EDs/disordered eating in general) have to feel 'sick enough' to feel they deserve help. If it's affecting your life, and it sounds like it is, you need help. :jumphug:
    I think, for some reason, I've gone the opposite way to what most people would. I've got some pretty ****ty stuff going on atm, and instead of getting more controlling over my diet and exercise, I've gotten more disordered.
    I'm trying to get into more of a routine atm, started taking lunch to placement.. But how long that'll last I don't know. I still don't eat breakfast.. Or an evening meal every day.
    I tell you, shift work is a ***** when you're trying for routine! I'm only working thurs, sat and sun this week, but worked 50 hours last week!
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    I did Chemistry at AS. Never again! :rolleyes: Mad props to anyone who manages it! I actually really liked balancing equations though. I just hated... everything else and I sucked at it haha

    Oh really? That's pretty good! I wish I could watch SSvsSS without being triggered. *sigh*
    The unit 2 exam in june was awful. I did however get 38/40 raw marks on my practicals, so i'm pleased with that.

    I personally cant watch SSvsSS downstairs with the parents. Can't be doing with my mums comments when the bit with the ED sufferers are on. 'OMG, she looks disgusting' etc. And then i'm sat there thinking, she doesnt CHOOSE to look like that.
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    (Original post by Antiaris)
    Just wondering, does anyone here happen to know the average waist size of a male in the UK?

    Currently struggling to fit into 28 jeans, they keep slipping off, and I'm just wondering what IS the ideal waist size anyway?
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    There's no conclusive answer, but various internet sources suggest above mid 30s is dangerous for men apparently (and the average is close to or above that too).


    I also echo Annie's post
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    I must admit to feeling like a fraud for follwing this thread as I dont have an ED.I begun reading after Toto told his story and kept on reading.I'm fully aware of being careful as to what I post so not to trigger anyone or make them feel worse.I do like all the support you are all giving each other, and you all have my support too.

    I know you are all stronger than the ED and you all WILL beat it cos you're all lovely.
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    (Original post by Annie72)
    I must admit to feeling like a fraud for follwing this thread as I dont have an ED.I begun reading after Toto told his story and kept on reading.I'm fully aware of being careful as to what I post so not to trigger anyone or make them feel worse.I do like all the support you are all giving each other, and you all have my support too.

    I know you are all stronger than the ED and you all WILL beat it cos you're all lovely.
    Annie, if you think something might be triggering i.e how much someone weighs, how much they've eaten, shiz to do with SI etc. you can put it inside [ spoiler] [/ spoiler] tags.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    Annie, if you think something might be triggering i.e how much someone weighs, how much they've eaten, shiz to do with SI etc. you can put it inside [ spoiler] [/ spoiler] tags.

    Of course I will
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    so 4 days of bed rest and 1800-2000 calories and I dropped 0.2kg since Thursday... Ho hum. Not complaining but now I'm DREADING another MP increase which I really don't know that I'll be able to handle
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    (Original post by *custardcream)
    so 4 days of bed rest and 1800-2000 calories and I dropped 0.2kg since Thursday... Ho hum. Not complaining but now I'm DREADING another MP increase which I really don't know that I'll be able to handle
    Custard, you can do it!!! Just remember, they're not going to do something hideous to your food, like you thought they would with the wrap you had a fw days ago. If they do, you've got right to have some serious beef with me.
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    Hey!
    I recently joined the student room after reading all your inspiring messages to each other. I have been struggling from an eating disorder for nearly 3 years now and I am feeling really lost. One thing that always bothered me was that I had no one else to share anything with who understood but, unfortunately, I can relate to a lot of your posts and was wondering if I could join in with the discussion- you guys sound like amazing people who dont deserve anything that has come ur way but have to suffer nonetheless and I would really like to be a part of that??
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    (Original post by Kebabbi)
    Ugh yeahh :/ how are you revising for implications?! I'm thinking I'm just going to read through the anthology a few more times, any other ideas?

    And
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    Ahh I so know what you mean! And you're like 'I don't have space in my brain to be worrying about this right now!' haha At least we can laugh about it, I guess. I do always do the thighs thing though, this far tmi but the worst time is when I'm on the loo and my legs are just there and so so... big. ah there's something you needed to know
    It was hard though because breakfast is one of those things I really really don't do ever, I still feel sick at the thought of it. Ahh that stupid pooey piece of poo :L


    Also about the boobs thing, I am jealous of you all :rolleyes:
    You can totally take my boobs! And yeah, definately read through the anthology, take notes on the possible implications- try to get two sections, one for the thiests and one for humanity as a whole. Um... I was going to scan through religious experience , athiesm, intuitionsism and religious language again but that's because Ayer talks about how religious language is meaningless, Donavon talks about intuition and religious experience and relationships and I don't know anything about what Westphal has to say... :rolleyes: I don't know what your texts are like? Mostly though, I'm going to try not to freak out at what I don't know! And hope I can put examples in. Because my teacher said my lack of examples are what stopped me from getting As in my mock essays. But I don't know how to... *shudder*

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    Re: the loo thing. Are you actually me? I have to close my eyes now. :rolleyes: Ditto with breakfast. I stopped eating breakfast when I was about 7 and haven't had it voluntarily since. I had to force down the most disgusting yoghurt.
    But alas, it has to be done. :hugs:



    (Original post by Ruthie!)
    I think, for some reason, I've gone the opposite way to what most people would. I've got some pretty ****ty stuff going on atm, and instead of getting more controlling over my diet and exercise, I've gotten more disordered.
    I'm trying to get into more of a routine atm, started taking lunch to placement.. But how long that'll last I don't know. I still don't eat breakfast.. Or an evening meal every day.
    I tell you, shift work is a ***** when you're trying for routine! I'm only working thurs, sat and sun this week, but worked 50 hours last week!
    :hugs: I think erratic behaviour under stress is pretty normal. Take care of yourself hun, it's great you're managing lunch at least. Try as hard as you can. :hugs:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    The unit 2 exam in june was awful. I did however get 38/40 raw marks on my practicals, so i'm pleased with that.

    I personally cant watch SSvsSS downstairs with the parents. Can't be doing with my mums comments when the bit with the ED sufferers are on. 'OMG, she looks disgusting' etc. And then i'm sat there thinking, she doesnt CHOOSE to look like that.
    Nice one!
    Oh parents and their comments... when will they learn?
    (Original post by Annie72)
    I must admit to feeling like a fraud for follwing this thread as I dont have an ED.I begun reading after Toto told his story and kept on reading.I'm fully aware of being careful as to what I post so not to trigger anyone or make them feel worse.I do like all the support you are all giving each other, and you all have my support too.

    I know you are all stronger than the ED and you all WILL beat it cos you're all lovely.
    Thank you. :hugs: Don't feel like a fraud.
    (Original post by *custardcream)
    so 4 days of bed rest and 1800-2000 calories and I dropped 0.2kg since Thursday... Ho hum. Not complaining but now I'm DREADING another MP increase which I really don't know that I'll be able to handle
    You can do it! Your head is going to build it up to be worse and more scary than it is but it will be fine, I promise. :hugs:
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    my insides feel so fat and horrible all full and heavy and i hate it! i cant even drink anything incase i expand, this evening is going to be so long and horrible
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    (Original post by Sugarcandy)
    Hey!
    I recently joined the student room after reading all your inspiring messages to each other. I have been struggling from an eating disorder for nearly 3 years now and I am feeling really lost. One thing that always bothered me was that I had no one else to share anything with who understood but, unfortunately, I can relate to a lot of your posts and was wondering if I could join in with the discussion- you guys sound like amazing people who dont deserve anything that has come ur way but have to suffer nonetheless and I would really like to be a part of that??
    Hey hun, of course! You don't even need to ask. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Sugarcandy)
    Hey!
    I recently joined the student room after reading all your inspiring messages to each other. I have been struggling from an eating disorder for nearly 3 years now and I am feeling really lost. One thing that always bothered me was that I had no one else to share anything with who understood but, unfortunately, I can relate to a lot of your posts and was wondering if I could join in with the discussion- you guys sound like amazing people who dont deserve anything that has come ur way but have to suffer nonetheless and I would really like to be a part of that??
    Dude, you don't need to ask to join in. WE don't bite -much. I'd watch Diamond though.
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    Seriously, the amount of people on here who are also on the food and drink forums... Yeh, we might bite if you look tasty enough. :P
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    You can totally take my boobs! And yeah, definately read through the anthology, take notes on the possible implications- try to get two sections, one for the thiests and one for humanity as a whole. Um... I was going to scan through religious experience , athiesm, intuitionsism and religious language again but that's because Ayer talks about how religious language is meaningless, Donavon talks about intuition and religious experience and relationships and I don't know anything about what Westphal has to say... :rolleyes: I don't know what your texts are like? Mostly though, I'm going to try not to freak out at what I don't know! And hope I can put examples in. Because my teacher said my lack of examples are what stopped me from getting As in my mock essays. But I don't know how to... *shudder*

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    Re: the loo thing. Are you actually me? I have to close my eyes now. :rolleyes: Ditto with breakfast. I stopped eating breakfast when I was about 7 and haven't had it voluntarily since. I had to force down the most disgusting yoghurt.
    But alas, it has to be done. :hugs:

    Good plan, I was thinking I might read all my notes from this year just because you get marks for anything don't you? Also, what do you mean by examples? My teacher hasn't marked any of my mocks I have literally never been less ready for an exam ever!

    I just realised I don't even know what it means by 'implications'?! asjdflkajslf *panicked dancing*

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    I am so relieved that someone else does that! well done on the yoghurt then, at least my toast wasn't disgusting! :hugs:
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    Managed a pizza today - from Marks and Sparks. Mum went shopping didn't want to not eat and upset her, also managed some delicate little wheat pitta breads, garlic mushrooms I tried and homous which I didn't like and a bite of a garlic bread. I really didn't want to eat today because it's my birthday this weekend and I don't want to feel like a fat ***** but nevertheless I have and I will have to deal with that and keep it down :mad: Also got a chocolate bar
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    (Original post by NotSoCool.Fly)
    Managed a pizza today - from Marks and Sparks. Mum went shopping didn't want to not eat and upset her, also managed some delicate little wheat pitta breads, garlic mushrooms I tried and homous which I didn't like and a bite of a garlic bread. I really didn't want to eat today because it's my birthday this weekend and I don't want to feel like a fat ***** but nevertheless I have and I will have to deal with that and keep it down :mad: Also got a chocolate bar
    thats good you shouldn't have to worry about food this weekend think about how great it'd be if you could enjoy your birthday not worrying about food, feeling hungry or feeling ill.... that'd be the most perfect birthday i think.

    xx
    • #29
    #29

    I've been lurking on this thread for a while, trying to pluck up the courage to post (not exactly sure why, since I'm definitely not ready to de-anon so it doesn't actually make a difference but hey). Anyway, I was just looking for a bit of advice really - spoilered because potential trigger stuff.

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    Back-story first. When I was 14 I suffered from anorexia (technically EDNOS as my bmi was never 17) - lost 2 stone in a few months, became really depressed, started SIing, was generally one of the worst times of my life. Things happened, my parents found out, and I recovered for a while (never with professional help, I just sort of got through things myself). Ever since then (now 18) I've been on-and-off bulimic. I was absolutely fine for about the last year, but since I've started uni, things have started to get out of hand again.
    It's got to the stage where when I go and buy food from sainsburys (things I actually need), I instinctively pick up food which I KNOW I'm just going to bring home, eat, then throw up again. Like today I went because I needed muesli - I ended up also buying an angel food cake, eating the whole thing, then throwing it up again straight afterwards. I wasn't even HUNGRY - I'd just been to dinner before I went shopping for gods sake! I even felt sick whilst I was eating it, but just couldn't stop until it was gone.
    I just don't really know what to do, because it seems like such a 'normal' part of my life, and I can't quite admit that it's actually a big problem - I'm normal weight, and to be honest, I've been doing this for so long, it's just a routine. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror after I've thrown up, and think 'god, I really am insane aren't I?', but because it's been part of my life for such a long time, it feels NORMAL, as crazy as that sounds.

    I know I need to stop, because even thought there are no outward physical symptoms right now, I throw up blood sometimes (no pain though), and I'm pretty sure my teeth are starting to be affected. HOWEVER because it all seems so normal to me, I'm not sure I'm able/ready to go and admit this to someone - like, inwardly, I know I have a problem, but outwardly, no-one else knows - not even my best friend of 5 years knows, or even suspects anything, so I'm too terrified to actually tell someone, because that would be admitting that I'm not normal.



    So yeah. That's about it. I know I didn't explain this very well. But.. just any advice would be really great :o:
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    Thanks squiff.

    Mum went shopping...I am realising when I do binge it's in my head something tells me my body needs MORE and MORE but also there is in my head the sensible side saying that you've eaten and you're OK your body doesn't need that Vienesse swhirl or those crisps or all those choccies

    I have to read yall lots posts 2 pages already in less than 24 hours

    i feel like from reading some posts already though each one of us have different disorders some binge then don't eat much others are overweight - like me by a few lbs- yet stlill eat but don't want to hmmmmmmmmm
 
 
 
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