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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    I know BMI is an important indicator.
    My health is not completely dependent on my BMI
    Does anyone else see BMI targets as...the exact amount you are supposed to weigh? and anything above it is unnecessary

    I wish my mind could rationalise that bit.

    My current BMI(20) is higher than the BMI(17) at which I would be kicked off my course.
    As crazy as it sounds it feels like I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other one.

    Angel: Its nice that you know when you will be in major trouble, just keep up the good work,you worked too hard to risk dieting
    :mad:Devil: Look,you can loose a bit of weight as long as you don't slip below that number...do it quick before your first occupational health appointment
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    So... I started to panic about starting sixth form, and then I read Toto's post above... It shined some light on things and put a lot into perspective. Everyone's advice on this thread is extremely helpful; it's reassuring to know that people are going through similar things themselves.

    Starting Sixth Form:
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    I'm starting sixth form a week today (!) to do my A-levels. I didn't take any GCSEs because of IP, but thankfully the sixth form accepted me anyway. I am still in shock and disbelief that I have a place at the school; and it's been explained to me many times that it is a gift and a brilliant opportunity that I shouldn't throw away.

    At the moment, there's one thing in the way: health. My motivation is there...I've been doing better with my eating and have actually managed to control all of my urges to overexercise. Over the past couple of weeks I've practically been sitting around indoors doing nothing, which is a major recovery win. But my efforts at recovery haven't had an immediate effect, and I'm still left with a horrible BMI of 13, which I am NOT proud of at all. As a result, my day-to-day functioning isn't very good (cognitively a dotty old lady). If I could I would wave a magic wand and be weight-restored then I assure you I would.

    I really want to do my A-levels, I really want to get a social life for once... and I don't want to delay it another year. But it's going to be so tough. My main worries are: food. How and where am I supposed to eat? I'm following a mealplan at the moment but I can't eat in front of people.
    My second worry is energy and workload. I feel tired constantly. Most of the time I can barely stay awake and it feels like I have the flu. I'm not used to studying and workload, and all of a sudden I'm going to be thrown into that environment. How will I cope?
    Third worry is pretty obvious. People. I don't know anyone at the school... and my anorexia developed out of social anxiety and low confidence... I'm absolutely terrified about making friends, talking to people, being judged... The thought of suddenly being in social situations is terrifying...

    The privilege of being offered this school place is incredible. It gives me the chance to finally turn things around, a chance to finally have a life and things to do in life.
    I don't want anorexia to stand in the way again. The answer is obvious: Eat, gain weight, recover, get better. Which I have now come to terms with and am trying to do. But how will I be able to manage the first couple of weeks? Has anyone got any advice on how to function educationally and socially while recovering?

    There's the possibility of attending school for the first few months and then going IP again if necessary for weight restoration... Then at least I'll have the chance to meet people, and can catch up on work while there. But I'm not sure if that's a good idea or not :/

    I hate sounding whiny and I wish I could be the one offering advice... But at the moment all I can say is you're all so inspiring, and I wish everyone the best in recovery.
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    (Original post by porridgeandrhi)
    So... I started to panic about starting sixth form, and then I read Toto's post above... It shined some light on things and put a lot into perspective. Everyone's advice on this thread is extremely helpful; it's reassuring to know that people are going through similar things themselves.

    Starting Sixth Form:
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    I'm starting sixth form a week today (!) to do my A-levels. I didn't take any GCSEs because of IP, but thankfully the sixth form accepted me anyway. I am still in shock and disbelief that I have a place at the school; and it's been explained to me many times that it is a gift and a brilliant opportunity that I shouldn't throw away.

    At the moment, there's one thing in the way: health. My motivation is there...I've been doing better with my eating and have actually managed to control all of my urges to overexercise. Over the past couple of weeks I've practically been sitting around indoors doing nothing, which is a major recovery win. But my efforts at recovery haven't had an immediate effect, and I'm still left with a horrible BMI of 13, which I am NOT proud of at all. As a result, my day-to-day functioning isn't very good (cognitively a dotty old lady). If I could I would wave a magic wand and be weight-restored then I assure you I would.

    I really want to do my A-levels, I really want to get a social life for once... and I don't want to delay it another year. But it's going to be so tough. My main worries are: food. How and where am I supposed to eat? I'm following a mealplan at the moment but I can't eat in front of people.
    My second worry is energy and workload. I feel tired constantly. Most of the time I can barely stay awake and it feels like I have the flu. I'm not used to studying and workload, and all of a sudden I'm going to be thrown into that environment. How will I cope?
    Third worry is pretty obvious. People. I don't know anyone at the school... and my anorexia developed out of social anxiety and low confidence... I'm absolutely terrified about making friends, talking to people, being judged... The thought of suddenly being in social situations is terrifying...

    The privilege of being offered this school place is incredible. It gives me the chance to finally turn things around, a chance to finally have a life and things to do in life.
    I don't want anorexia to stand in the way again. The answer is obvious: Eat, gain weight, recover, get better. Which I have now come to terms with and am trying to do. But how will I be able to manage the first couple of weeks? Has anyone got any advice on how to function educationally and socially while recovering?

    There's the possibility of attending school for the first few months and then going IP again if necessary for weight restoration... Then at least I'll have the chance to meet people, and can catch up on work while there. But I'm not sure if that's a good idea or not :/

    I hate sounding whiny and I wish I could be the one offering advice... But at the moment all I can say is you're all so inspiring, and I wish everyone the best in recovery.
    I can give you tips for the educational side

    1.If your teachers do not already know tell them.You dont have to go into much detail,just make sure they know you have concentration difficulties and you can not do as much work as you would like to
    2. Work smart not hard. Teachers like giving lots of work some of it is non essential.Aim to understand each class before you do worksheets or homework. Try to keep ontop of coursework even if it means missing homework
    3.Health comes before your grades-If you end up compromising or geeting so stressed that you skip meals, stop. All the A* grades in the world will mean nothing if you are dead.
    4. Orange Juice and Milkshakes- These are a relatively quick snack to have in you free periods. Low blood sugar is really bad for your concentration. Eat small meals regularly, depending on how far along you are,you could even attempt dried fruit or cereal bars as a snack (Please, please ,dont subsitute drinks for real food,thats a sneaky E.D behavior, drinks are an addition to what you already eat)
    5. If your teachers allow it ,record your lessons- Listening to them is a low energy form of revision.Its also handy if you miss something in class
    • #142
    #142

    (Original post by TotoMimo)

    With regards to starting a course with a strict health and safety parameter policy, I want to say - do not lie. Lying is the key to strengthening your disordered mind and that includes lying by omission; if you have the opportunity to help yourself but purposely avoid it, that's what I'm talking about.

    A mental disorder might be a terrible thing, but ultimately it is a selfish/egocentric state at it's core; born of an internal struggle put in place to better yourself in a way that ironically harms yourself. Whether or not you started your disorder for yourself (confidence/image), for another (attraction, attention) or autonomy (structure/purpose), it was done with yourself in mind. In the same breath, you could be wrong about your reasons why you want to be at university. If you were wrong about your eating, you could be wrong about your motives and priorities in University.

    That's not to say you SHOULDN'T be in university; but consider this. If you've got an acceptance to university, they regard you as an investment. As potential. Similarly, they saw something in you they did not see in one of the many people turned down for the course. If you should squander your opportunity at the university by being there only to indulge a personal disorder, you're not only kidding yourself but you are demeaning the efforts of not only your peer students, but of those poor sods that didn't get your place to better themselves academically.

    University and by extension higher education is a PRIVILEGE, not a right, and a gift you can't let rot in the sun whilst you focus all of your efforts to the inside of the bubble you created for yourself. If you intend to fight your disordered thoughts whilst you work towards a great grade, fantastic qualification and a better future for yourself, then BRILLIANT, I give you the greatest respect in the world.

    But if you want to be in that environment to focus on your own little world where you're determined to break yourself further, you're doing nothing more than taking that gift you've been graciously given and tossing it aside - and all the other people that weren't given that gift sit at your window, asking, "well, if you're not wanting it, why can't I have it?"
    The course is Primary Education, and I honestly don't think this will affect my ability to work hard and achieve well at uni, because this has been the worst year of my life but I still managed to do well, way better than I expected!
    What you have said is true, I know that I shouldn't lie about it, and I intend on being honest about what medication I am on and that I suffer from severe depression and an eating disorder, its just the hospital stay that I am unsure about being truthful about. I'm almost certain that if I put that I was in hospital only a month ago from an attempted S then they wont let me onto the course. I need this, the idea of uni, and working to make a difference in children's lives is all that's been motivating me to get better in the slightest, I can hardly be a good example to young children if I am ill myself can I? Without uni I feel as if I have nothing to live for at all.
    And my reasons for wanting uni also confuse me. I do really want my place on the course, I worked hard for it, I've loved my work experience, I am enjoying reading my pre-reading books, I'm really excited to learn to be a teacher and start to have an impact on children's lives, but at the same time, the disordered part of my brain does see uni as a chance to starve myself further, over-exercise etc. Which means I'm torn, I seem to want uni for both the right reasons and the wrong reasons.. confused :/
    But thank you for the advice, this is all helping me think things through and rationalise a bit
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    ^^^^^
    That was me .. ugh auto-anon
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    In my experience low blood sugar helps me concentrate but when it's high I start to feel tired and agitated.
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    Interesting piece of information that I'm sure's relative to academic pursuits....

    Before my anorexia nervosa, my IQ was officially recorded as 158 by a set of academic invigilators. During the worst days of my anorexia nervosa, at a BMI of just over 15, I started to get very defensive and pompous (yes, more so than I am now!) - and assumed that my heightened level of control had actually made me much more alert and perhaps even more intellectually-able. I did the same test and reached 141.

    Two weeks ago I did my IQ test with the team at the university as part of my alumni reunion, and got a score of 156.

    This is just one isolated incident, but I think based solely on my own experience, the anorexia quite dramatically dumbed my senses, abilities, and mental awareness.
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    (Original post by Riku)
    Would agree with what Cinnie said, Jazzy; I'm almost certain you wouldn't need to lose weight medically speaking, nor would you need to to have value. Would you say your grandmother was worthless because she'd put on a few pounds when she was older? Or your best friend? Perhaps in some hyper-vain, shallow and narcissistic society of Barbie and Ken dolls but not in the real world.
    25% of Britain's population is overweight via the BMI chart and a similar proportion 'over-fat' via body fat metrics, DEXA scanning etc,; to say a quarter of are a waste of space, their identities meaningless and insignificant is to deny millions their humanity.

    You're probably nowhere near that stage anyway, that'll most likely be your BDD-but even so, your weight and your self-worth are two separate things.

    If it's honestly going to make you happier to go to the gym and 'tone up', if it'll make you feel more confident, sexy, energetic, happy, then go for it. Who am I to tell you otherwise? But do it for yourself, for the right reasons and in the right way. Not for your bullying mum.
    And of course there are many more ways to build self-confidence than aspiring to be Barbie, and I'm sure you know this.

    :hugs:



    As for me I'm going back to my CBT books because I've been slippping up (admittedly growing more stressed and irrational the closer I get to the end of the holidays/my house move) >) My girlfriend should be home from her holiday next week, been missing her.
    I know it's silly but I feel as though I'm different. I would never think that anyone is worthless because of their weight but I feel like I am because I feel intrinsically worthless due to my depression. My depression originates from a feeling of worthlessness and lack of self-confidence.

    I'm trying to tone up because I feel like the extra kgs I put on during exam period have really damaged how I feel about myself, hence feeling worthless again. Usually I just have off days but I still feel somewhat beautiful. I mean, I went on a date a couple of weeks ago and we got into bed. We didn't do anything but we were in our underwear and I was actually nervous getting undressed -- usually I wouldn't have minded that much and would have been more focused on checking the other person out, not checking if I looked okay!

    Thanks xxx
    • #43
    #43

    (Original post by jazzykinks)
    I know it's silly but I feel as though I'm different. I would never think that anyone is worthless because of their weight but I feel like I am because I feel intrinsically worthless due to my depression. My depression originates from a feeling of worthlessness and lack of self-confidence.

    I'm trying to tone up because I feel like the extra kgs I put on during exam period have really damaged how I feel about myself, hence feeling worthless again. Usually I just have off days but I still feel somewhat beautiful. I mean, I went on a date a couple of weeks ago and we got into bed. We didn't do anything but we were in our underwear and I was actually nervous getting undressed -- usually I wouldn't have minded that much and would have been more focused on checking the other person out, not checking if I looked okay!

    Thanks xxx
    There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel your best, and if you feel that toning up is going to help with that then that's fair enough. That being said, physical perfection can't fill a gaping hole in your self-esteem. You're beautiful inside (maybe that sounds cringeworthy but it's worth us all bearing in mind)! Confidence is a beautiful thing and maybe t

    :hugs:

    _______________
    I might have to take time off this thread again.
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    I seem to be 'OCD'ing over whether I'm allowed to choose what I eat//when and how much I exercise/rigidly making sure I do not lose weight. I'm understandably terrified of going back to the worst of my disorder (I'm sure a few people would argue I'm still there...) but maybe a little over-cautious. Ironically, it's getting in the way of me enjoying life!

    It's especially prevalent at my mum's (i.e. my first home); the behaviour seems to be that I start, feel proud of that, then get home, assume my Mum is worried by it all, start worrying about how she feels then go check with everyone else/online that it's OK. I could just do it anyway (knowing that what I'm doing is healthy, there isn't some of barrier where I must eat X Cake before completing Level Monday. It's supposed to be a treat and intuitive eating means eating what you like when you like and naturally getting everything you need in the day. Also the myriad benefits to moderate exercise (stressing moderate, maybe light for now).

    I'm going to try and learn how to balance life out again the life litmus test seems to be the best idea. If it doesn't get in the way of relationships, career, studies, health or hobbies-or your own sense of achievement and wellbeing-it's not disordered.

    I can't truly recover if I can't trust myself to make my own decisions but get somebody else to hold my hand through every waking moment. I have too much at stake that I cherish now to risk losing it for this, I'm not going to do anything drastic.
    I swear this is around the third time I've had this 'Eureka!' moment...
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    ^^^
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    Been feeling pretty horrible lately I don't really know how to explain it but I feel like restricting is just what has to happen in order to stop things spinning out of control... And like jazzy I've been having quite a few people encourage it, talk to me about dieting and how they want to loose xlb, and generally talk as if I am a 'fellow dieter' as it were... It makes me feel like I was never ill and it was just a dream. My dad is loosing weight and is getting obsessive about it, buying loads of books and immersing himself in the subject (he gets a new obsession every few months/year... Autism) and won't stop going on about it.

    Anyway, I am permanently conflicted and feel I would be happier just settling one frame of mind.


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    Had a bad day today...

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    I haven't really eaten all day. I didn't get time for breakfast so I had a glass of chocolate milk and when I did finally get time for cereal I didn't want it. I work in a nursery and we took the kids on a trip today, and I didn't get lunch because the only lunch provided was bread (which I can't eat) and I didn't get a break to get something of my own. All I've eaten today is three "Go Ahead slices" and three Celebrations chocolates. I know it's not good but I'm fighting the voice in the back of my head congratulating me
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    (Original post by snowyowl)
    Had a bad day today...

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    I haven't really eaten all day. I didn't get time for breakfast so I had a glass of chocolate milk and when I did finally get time for cereal I didn't want it. I work in a nursery and we took the kids on a trip today, and I didn't get lunch because the only lunch provided was bread (which I can't eat) and I didn't get a break to get something of my own. All I've eaten today is three "Go Ahead slices" and three Celebrations chocolates. I know it's not good but I'm fighting the voice in the back of my head congratulating me
    I just heard you using a bad phrase - "which I CAN'T eat".

    Forbidden. Off the Table. Disallowed. What do these terms mean?

    I know guys that are highly allergic to things like peanuts, but can't NOT eat Mars Bars (made in the same factory as nut-based confections). Now, technically speaking, these guys - the pair of them run the risk of anaphylactic shock every time they munch down on their Mars. Medically speaking, they CAN'T have them for fear of the possibility of severe medical trauma.

    But they continue to eat them knowing the risk.

    What's YOUR risk? Why did you place the little red sticker of taboo on certain foods? Will it kill you? Nope. Then it doesn't deserve a red sticker. Will it harm you? No? Then it doesn't even deserve an amber sticker!!

    You have to really dig deep here. Why is something forbidden? It can be down to numerous reasons. The most prominent are associative (you associate a specific food with a specific stigma, stimulus or appearance, such as a social clique - ie, caviar is only for posh people, etc) and self-worth deprevation (you don't think you personally "deserve" something, therefore you've put that item on a pedestal for some reason).

    You need to really break these barriers to understand why you view something as "taboo" or "forbidden".

    Remember, even if you "can't" eat something, it doesn't mean you "can't", if the reasons were wrong; it merely means you "won't".

    My pals eat Mars bars that might kill them. They "can't" eat them. They still do.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I just heard you using a bad phrase - "which I CAN'T eat".

    Forbidden. Off the Table. Disallowed. What do these terms mean?

    I know guys that are highly allergic to things like peanuts, but can't NOT eat Mars Bars (made in the same factory as nut-based confections). Now, technically speaking, these guys - the pair of them run the risk of anaphylactic shock every time they munch down on their Mars. Medically speaking, they CAN'T have them for fear of the possibility of severe medical trauma.

    But they continue to eat them knowing the risk.

    What's YOUR risk? Why did you place the little red sticker of taboo on certain foods? Will it kill you? Nope. Then it doesn't deserve a red sticker. Will it harm you? No? Then it doesn't even deserve an amber sticker!!

    You have to really dig deep here. Why is something forbidden? It can be down to numerous reasons. The most prominent are associative (you associate a specific food with a specific stigma, stimulus or appearance, such as a social clique - ie, caviar is only for posh people, etc) and self-worth deprevation (you don't think you personally "deserve" something, therefore you've put that item on a pedestal for some reason).

    You need to really break these barriers to understand why you view something as "taboo" or "forbidden".

    Remember, even if you "can't" eat something, it doesn't mean you "can't", if the reasons were wrong; it merely means you "won't".

    My pals eat Mars bars that might kill them. They "can't" eat them. They still do.
    Certain breads give me bad stomach pains we aren't sure why. I'm not intolerant to gluten, yeast, dairy or anything like that - doctors can't explain why it affects me but they suspect some form of IBS.

    Sorry Toto, I hope I don't come across as an arse for pointing that out but my refusal to eat bread isn't ED-related.
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    No worries Snowy, I just maintain a fact - and it's one my own psychotherapist pointed out to me that opened my eyes - EVERY ONE of her patients was "intolerant" or "allergic" to something particularly calorific.

    It really evoked a smirk in me, because I knew what she was on about.

    "Sorry, I'd love to drink milk/eat cheese/eat pastry, but I can't have dairy/gluten etc" is something EVERY SINGLE PERSON said to her in her career. Myself included. I personally said it and I admit fully. "I don't like dairy" is something I said before, as a kneejerk reaction to my disorder. Though I don't love cheese, I fully adore milk and yoghurt... she slowly drew it out of me though!!

    I merely want ED sufferers to contest the reasons why they "hate", "can't have" and "fully avoid" certain things.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    No worries Snowy, I just maintain a fact - and it's one my own psychotherapist pointed out to me that opened my eyes - EVERY ONE of her patients was "intolerant" or "allergic" to something particularly calorific.

    It really evoked a smirk in me, because I knew what she was on about.

    "Sorry, I'd love to drink milk/eat cheese/eat pastry, but I can't have dairy/gluten etc" is something EVERY SINGLE PERSON said to her in her career. Myself included. I personally said it and I admit fully. "I don't like dairy" is something I said before, as a kneejerk reaction to my disorder. Though I don't love cheese, I fully adore milk and yoghurt... she slowly drew it out of me though!!

    I merely want ED sufferers to contest the reasons why they "hate", "can't have" and "fully avoid" certain things.
    Well funny you should say that, because I've found myself intensely disliking the feeling of being full and therefore avoiding carb-laden food (pasta, potatoes) like the plague! I've been avoiding yogurts too. I've found that when I do have these things now though, I bloat up a bit - is it possible to "make" yourself intolerant, or is it all psychological?
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    (Original post by snowyowl)
    Well funny you should say that, because I've found myself intensely disliking the feeling of being full and therefore avoiding carb-laden food (pasta, potatoes) like the plague! I've been avoiding yogurts too. I've found that when I do have these things now though, I bloat up a bit - is it possible to "make" yourself intolerant, or is it all psychological?
    What an incredibly relevant post right here.

    It is ENTIRELY possible to psychologically "trick" your body into "hating" something.


    Having been in recovery for a long time (over two years), I have personally found that in order to beat my bugbears, I would need to completely contest everything I "hated".

    When I was a boy, I absolutely loved bananas and custard. Though for some reason, I'd conditioned myself to "hate" custard. I started to contest why I hated the "custard" and not the "bananas". The reason? The bananas were "clean". The custard? Not so much. As time passed I started just having tickboxes. "This cool? No? Okay." I'd cut things. No bread. I'm intolerant to that. No spaghetti. I don't like how spaghetti feels, really. Toast? Ach, toast just scrapes your throat as it's swallowed....

    None of it's true. It's entirely a fabrication of your disorder. I was born with an innate love of tasty food. I used to love bananas in custard, so why hate it now? The reason? Mental conditioning. The more I eat it in current times, the more I start to think... I don't hate this at all. I've NOT grown intolerant to custard. Why would a person who loves custard suddenly hate custard?!

    It's part of the disorder to suddenly be "intolerant" to something. You trick your own mind into believing you're somehow totally adverse to it. Make excuses. "Oh, god, GLUTEN, that's the enemy!!" - you scream it with all your lung capacity but in all fairness, you have no medical ailment. It's mental.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    What an incredibly relevant post right here.

    It is ENTIRELY possible to psychologically "trick" your body into "hating" something.


    Having been in recovery for a long time (over two years), I have personally found that in order to beat my bugbears, I would need to completely contest everything I "hated".

    When I was a boy, I absolutely loved bananas and custard. Though for some reason, I'd conditioned myself to "hate" custard. I started to contest why I hated the "custard" and not the "bananas". The reason? The bananas were "clean". The custard? Not so much. As time passed I started just having tickboxes. "This cool? No? Okay." I'd cut things. No bread. I'm intolerant to that. No spaghetti. I don't like how spaghetti feels, really. Toast? Ach, toast just scrapes your throat as it's swallowed....

    None of it's true. It's entirely a fabrication of your disorder. I was born with an innate love of tasty food. I used to love bananas in custard, so why hate it now? The reason? Mental conditioning. The more I eat it in current times, the more I start to think... I don't hate this at all. I've NOT grown intolerant to custard. Why would a person who loves custard suddenly hate custard?!

    It's part of the disorder to suddenly be "intolerant" to something. You trick your own mind into believing you're somehow totally adverse to it. Make excuses. "Oh, god, GLUTEN, that's the enemy!!" - you scream it with all your lung capacity but in all fairness, you have no medical ailment. It's mental.
    I've always been a fussy eater, but not to this extent. You're right, I've started seeing certain foods as "bad" and avoiding them, and making excuses for it. I told myself at one point I was intolerant to pasta, but then I remembered how much I loved it and ate it again - and found it didn't affect me at all. It was all in my mind. I'd forgotten about that until you just reminded me.

    The thing is, I do have certain things I need to avoid for health reasons - salt and caffeine mainly - so it might be hard to tell what's psychological and what is genuinely going to make me ill
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    (Original post by snowyowl)
    I've always been a fussy eater, but not to this extent. You're right, I've started seeing certain foods as "bad" and avoiding them, and making excuses for it. I told myself at one point I was intolerant to pasta, but then I remembered how much I loved it and ate it again - and found it didn't affect me at all. It was all in my mind. I'd forgotten about that until you just reminded me.

    The thing is, I do have certain things I need to avoid for health reasons - salt and caffeine mainly - so it might be hard to tell what's psychological and what is genuinely going to make me ill
    If you TRULY want to fight your disorder you do so with absolute gusto; you contest EVERYTHING. You realise all the things that are in your periphery that cause you hardship and you battle them!

    I know it sounds like a lot to take on, but.... wasn't an eating disorder a lot to take on, too?

    If you have time to kill yourself, you have time to heal yourself. That's what I say.

    You realise that your own mentality is sabotaging you, and I commend that. But beyond that? It's all you. There's no medicine or doctor that can magically heal you. That's why I am so hard on everyone on the thread. People expect there's a cure for everything but sometimes the only cure is one you fashion yourself.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    If you TRULY want to fight your disorder you do so with absolute gusto; you contest EVERYTHING. You realise all the things that are in your periphery that cause you hardship and you battle them!

    I know it sounds like a lot to take on, but.... wasn't an eating disorder a lot to take on, too?

    If you have time to kill yourself, you have time to heal yourself. That's what I say.

    You realise that your own mentality is sabotaging you, and I commend that. But beyond that? It's all you. There's no medicine or doctor that can magically heal you. That's why I am so hard on everyone on the thread. People expect there's a cure for everything but sometimes the only cure is one you fashion yourself.
    You're right, as always :heart:
 
 
 
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Updated: October 31, 2015
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A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

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