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    Hi guys, first time posting here after a long time reading from afar.

    I've struggled with an ED since last Christmas. I am 20 years old, and was always a really big child, but due to circumstance (a growth spurt) of puberty and actively changing what I ate when I was around 13/14, I lost all the puppy weight and developed into a regular sized kid. Since starting uni I guess my weight fluctuated and I noticed around Christmas that I'd gained a few pounds. I started attending the gym and radically restricting my calorie intake to try and get in shape for summer. The problem was, once I'd began, I couldn't stop.

    My life has become centred around the scale. I weigh myself multiple times a day, often my whole mood rapidly alters depending on what reading the scale gives me. I know, I KNOW, it's pure madness - weight fluctuates multiple times a day, multiple times a week, but I cannot stop. I returned home from uni for summer after around three months of solid dieting and my mum was perplexed with my appearance. She was massively worried. She could tell something was up, and one night last month I spilled everything about how I was feeling. My life was being taken over by constant obsessions about weight.

    I do not purge or anything, but I am still eating nowhere near the right amount. I have limited attending the gym to just three times a week (I would go every single day before...I know, it's madness). I decided I could not go on the way I was - something had to change. I went and visited my GP who referred me to a clinic which specializes in eating disorder related therapy. He also diagnosed me with depression and placed me on 20mg of fluoexetine a day (which I've been taking for about six weeks and haven't noticed make a great deal, if truth be told). I start CBT sessions next week.

    I'm still obsessed with thoughts of weight/food. I get frustrated with myself if my friends are having pizza and I refuse a slice because I KNOW that it's a ridiculous mind-set to have. The problem is, I can't apply mind over matter. I have lost around three stone since Christmas and I'm frightened because if the number on the scale doesn't go down, I'm miserable. Eventually, the number will keep going down until I'm an absolute skeletal mess.

    So, yeah - I don't know why I felt the urge to post today. Guess I'm having a lonely Sunday and wanted to share. I don't know what I want anyone to say to this, you're all so incredibly brave. I feel a mess of a person right now and I have all summer. I'll be going back to university soon and I just can't deal with spending another year like this. The constant worry, the fear of eating the wrong thing at the wrong time, the inability to deal with the cold, the pale complexion. I really want to change. It's just I'm so scared of making that first leap, you know?
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    (Original post by Mackay)
    Hi guys, first time posting here after a long time reading from afar.

    I've struggled with an ED since last Christmas. I am 20 years old, and was always a really big child, but due to circumstance (a growth spurt) of puberty and actively changing what I ate when I was around 13/14, I lost all the puppy weight and developed into a regular sized kid. Since starting uni I guess my weight fluctuated and I noticed around Christmas that I'd gained a few pounds. I started attending the gym and radically restricting my calorie intake to try and get in shape for summer. The problem was, once I'd began, I couldn't stop.

    My life has become centred around the scale. I weigh myself multiple times a day, often my whole mood rapidly alters depending on what reading the scale gives me. I know, I KNOW, it's pure madness - weight fluctuates multiple times a day, multiple times a week, but I cannot stop. I returned home from uni for summer after around three months of solid dieting and my mum was perplexed with my appearance. She was massively worried. She could tell something was up, and one night last month I spilled everything about how I was feeling. My life was being taken over by constant obsessions about weight.

    I do not purge or anything, but I am still eating nowhere near the right amount. I have limited attending the gym to just three times a week (I would go every single day before...I know, it's madness). I decided I could not go on the way I was - something had to change. I went and visited my GP who referred me to a clinic which specializes in eating disorder related therapy. He also diagnosed me with depression and placed me on 20mg of fluoexetine a day (which I've been taking for about six weeks and haven't noticed make a great deal, if truth be told). I start CBT sessions next week.

    I'm still obsessed with thoughts of weight/food. I get frustrated with myself if my friends are having pizza and I refuse a slice because I KNOW that it's a ridiculous mind-set to have. The problem is, I can't apply mind over matter. I have lost around three stone since Christmas and I'm frightened because if the number on the scale doesn't go down, I'm miserable. Eventually, the number will keep going down until I'm an absolute skeletal mess.

    So, yeah - I don't know why I felt the urge to post today. Guess I'm having a lonely Sunday and wanted to share. I don't know what I want anyone to say to this, you're all so incredibly brave. I feel a mess of a person right now and I have all summer. I'll be going back to university soon and I just can't deal with spending another year like this. The constant worry, the fear of eating the wrong thing at the wrong time, the inability to deal with the cold, the pale complexion. I really want to change. It's just I'm so scared of making that first leap, you know?
    Welcome to the thread, I think I speak for the majority of people on here when I say if you have any questions or want advice, we are here for you And the first leap is always really hard, I know when I first got help I kept retreating back into denial, I still do sometimes now to be honest. Its a long journey, one that I myself am only just really beginning, but there are people at all stages on here and we are a very supportive bunch I have faith that you can do it, take that first step, and never give up, you deserve better than an eating disorder
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    (Original post by 05autyt)
    Welcome to the thread, I think I speak for the majority of people on here when I say if you have any questions or want advice, we are here for you And the first leap is always really hard, I know when I first got help I kept retreating back into denial, I still do sometimes now to be honest. Its a long journey, one that I myself am only just really beginning, but there are people at all stages on here and we are a very supportive bunch I have faith that you can do it, take that first step, and never give up, you deserve better than an eating disorder
    Thanks for the welcome! It means a lot to know that there are a whole bunch of people going through the exact same issues and it IS beatable/manageable eventually. There seems to be such a stigma surrounding EDs - and as a male I didn't fully appreciate that until I encountered one myself.

    Has anybody got experience of CBT? I start on Thursday and have read a bit about it but I don't know what to expect really.
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    (Original post by Mackay)
    Thanks for the welcome! It means a lot to know that there are a whole bunch of people going through the exact same issues and it IS beatable/manageable eventually. There seems to be such a stigma surrounding EDs - and as a male I didn't fully appreciate that until I encountered one myself.

    Has anybody got experience of CBT? I start on Thursday and have read a bit about it but I don't know what to expect really.
    No problem and yeah the stigma is so upsetting especially when people think we can just stop, its a mental disorder, not attention seeking! I haven't had experience of CBT because when I was about to get it, I unexpectedly had to move house which means I'm currently not under any care team :/ but I had it explained to me and its basically to try and get you to recognise and change your negative thought patterns... I think :L there are people on here who have had and are having CBT though so they should be able to explain it better. I hope Thursday goes well for you
    • #198
    #198

    (Original post by Mackay)
    Thanks for the welcome! It means a lot to know that there are a whole bunch of people going through the exact same issues and it IS beatable/manageable eventually. There seems to be such a stigma surrounding EDs - and as a male I didn't fully appreciate that until I encountered one myself.

    Has anybody got experience of CBT? I start on Thursday and have read a bit about it but I don't know what to expect really.
    Hey there - welcome to the thread.. Sorry to hear about your struggles, but it's great that you're getting help.

    I've had CBT for my eating disorder and for depression / anxiety. It's fairly variable depending on your therapist, but basically it's about identifying your thought processes and challenging them, as they might not be logical. Then it's trying to change them where necessary.

    I think that the best thing to do is go into it with an open mind and be prepared to be totally honest, as trying to hide things won't get you anywhere.
    • #199
    #199

    My problem is that I know I have an ED and I kind of don't want to get better. Funny thing is that I used to be the girl that gave lectures about healthy eating and exercise to younger girls and boys at school. I started losing weight 2 years ago and it all started off healthy. But I'm obsessed with food now. I can't think about anything else. And I'm now even more depressed when I saw the scale and found out I've gained 5kg. Deep inside I KNOW that my thighs aren't as big as I picture them but I want to have this ED until I like them. I know, I honestly know how awful it is to have an ED but it makes me feel better when I don't eat all day. I'm going to uni in 5 days and deep, deep inside I'm happy that I won't have the time to eat. I feel like such letdown.
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My problem is that I know I have an ED and I kind of don't want to get better. Funny thing is that I used to be the girl that gave lectures about healthy eating and exercise to younger girls and boys at school. I started losing weight 2 years ago and it all started off healthy. But I'm obsessed with food now. I can't think about anything else. And I'm now even more depressed when I saw the scale and found out I've gained 5kg. Deep inside I KNOW that my thighs aren't as big as I picture them but I want to have this ED until I like them. I know, I honestly know how awful it is to have an ED but it makes me feel better when I don't eat all day. I'm going to uni in 5 days and deep, deep inside I'm happy that I won't have the time to eat. I feel like such letdown.
    Can I ask you to do two things for me when you get to university. 1. find an ED support group, your university may well have one. I know mine does. 2. Tell your university, so that your department knows.
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    hello Guys, I hope you are all well.

    For those of you starting uni. Good luck and i hope your year is a great one



    Pointles Rambing/Stressingnabout fasting for Religious Reasons
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Religion and ED's do not mix well
    • Some important Jewish holidays are coming up
    • Most people traditionally fast at this time
    • I am weight restored,and I want to try fasting
    • My rabbi told me ,not to, he said I should devote those days to honoring G-d by being kind to my body
    • How dare he!! do i still look like a fragile ED sufferer
    • I am stressed that i wont eat healthily enough,I am good at fasting,why cant I fast
    • If i am not fasting,how do I explain it to people who are fasting?
    • Help??

    • #173
    #173

    (Original post by Stormclouds)
    hello Guys, I hope you are all well.

    For those of you starting uni. Good luck and i hope your year is a great one



    Pointles Rambing/Stressingnabout fasting for Religious Reasons
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Religion and ED's do not mix well
    • Some important Jewish holidays are coming up
    • Most people traditionally fast at this time
    • I am weight restored,and I want to try fasting
    • My rabbi told me ,not to, he said I should devote those days to honoring G-d by being kind to my body
    • How dare he!! do i still look like a fragile ED sufferer
    • I am stressed that i wont eat healthily enough,I am good at fasting,why cant I fast
    • If i am not fasting,how do I explain it to people who are fasting?
    • Help??

    I don't know a lot about the Jewish faith, I'll admit - but I think it's important to note that you said "I am weight restored" rather than simply "I am restored". Do you feel mentally 'recovered'?

    I don't know a lot about your situation but on face value it seems the best advice would be to follow your rabbi's advice.
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    ^sorry, that was me. I'm Anon #173. Is there any way of stopping it from auto-anon-ing me?
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    (Original post by snowyowl)
    ^sorry, that was me. I'm Anon #173. Is there any way of stopping it from auto-anon-ing me?
    There is.
    When im on my laptop later ill link you to the thread, someone has developed a script that you can download so it never does auto anon

    Unless you can find the user rmhumphries as its in his sig


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #200
    #200

    Hello all! Long time lurker, first time poster. I just feel like typing some things out so I'm going to put it under a spoiler since reading my ramblings can be a bit tiring! But before that I just want to say thank you to all the posters on this thread. Many times I've been agreeing to everyone's worries and behaviours - it's been a relief knowing I'm not the only person with certain thoughts etc. It's also helped me a lot in realising that I have a problem. Anyway, on with more rambling...

    Spoiler:
    Show
    So, I'll guess I'll start with a condensed history of how I came to how eating issues. I've been fairly chubby my whole life and then a few years ago it started becoming a lot less cute and a lot more of a downer on my life - to the point were I was just in the Obese BMI category [Beginning of 2010] Coupled with the death of my mum and the stress of starting GCSE's, I decided to take control of one aspect of my life and lose weight. At the beginning it was all very healthily done, less eating and more moving. By the time summer came around I needed to ramp it up a notch to lose more weight. Still, it was fairly healthy although that's when the calorie counting started. I restricted to the 'healthy' amount (although I have since realised that most 'healthy' calorie restrictions are generally complete bull), exercised more and hooray! The weight came off.

    I was one of those 'I'll never have an eating disorder, I'm losing weight the healthy way!' type of people. But, really, I'm starting to see that most people that diet begin that way. By the summer of 2011 I finally reached my goal weight and decided to begin eating properly again. However, that didn't exactly go to plan... for a couple of months it was fine, I realised I would gain a little bit back and I was fine. And then I wasn't. I decided to lose a little bit more weight and restricted my calories again. A couple of lbs down and I was happy again but I didn't stop restricting my calories. A- Levels started and slowly I restricted more and more - below BMR most of the time. This carried on for a while, despite the fact I became more fatigued, pale, dizzy/headrush and cold. Then last Christmas I decided to go on a diet before Christmas so that I could eat a lot on the day and not feel guilty (oh dear...). I went on the paleo diet, my calories varied a lot but were generally below my BMR. It worked and I got to the lowest weight I'd ever been and I really liked it. Christmas came and the weight went back on but at the beginning of this year I restricted more heavily than I've ever done before. This lasted until May when I began to realise it was a problem and knew I needed to eat for my exams. Since then I've been half-arsed trying to recover to varying degrees of success. I usually relapse every couple of weeks or so though.

    I know where a lot of my problems stem from. I tend to think that my life became a lot better once I got thinner - my liked my personality more, the way I looked, I got better grades, made new friends etc. while my 'fat self' was because of failure - being less social, ugly, dead mum etc. To be honest though, at least my 'fat self' had more confidence and mental stability. I'm still not entirely comfortable with saying I have an eating disorder because I haven't shared my problems with anyone else so I feel a bit like a fraud saying I have one (which, of course, triggers thoughts of 'trying harder'...thoughts, why are you so exhausting and repetitive?). I also have the stereotypical thoughts of 'but I'm not thin enough' and thinking that I'm a lot bigger than I am (my arms, legs, wrists and ankles are really quite skinny and boney - something I don't realise a lot of the times until I properly look). I've also realised a lot of my health issues from the past couple of years has stemmed from my eating habits - why I'm so cold a lot of the time, why I've been constantly constipated for the past two + years, why I've had bouts of depression and generally why I've been an unhappy sod



    So, rambling aside, on to my troubles...I'm really worried I'm going to relapse at Uni - a lot of the reason why I've only had lapses rather than blown out relapses over the summer is because I keep thinking to myself that it'll be easier to just relapse at Uni (I feel stupid just typing that out...I mean, seriously brain?). I was considering contacting the wellbeing team at my Uni but, since I feel ridiculous saying I have an eating disorder even to myself I don't know how I would talk to other people about it... I'm also ridiculously hungry at the moment, which makes me feel guilty and it's bringing me down a bit at the moment! Just got to keep reminding myself is stupid to feel guilty about something that keeps you alive... I'd never feel guilty for inhaling oxygen, for example. Sorry if I've bored you to death with my ramblings (I've typed up this post many times over the past few months, just haven't had the courage to post it until now) Hope you're all doing okay lovelies! <3
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    Hi anon, welcome to the thread, I can relate to many of the things you've said.
    -----------

    Unfortunately since I last updated, things have continued. I have this monster in my head who tries to take over my body, and then I have no control over what I do.

    I seem to be 4 different people on any given day and none of my plans stay solid, so I end up feeling guilty that I am getting nowhere with my life/weight.. And I've also been doing things compulsively, like
    Spoiler:
    Show
    drinking a salt water ,cleaning fluid and rum cocktail?!?!?!


    I feel like I have no control anymore and am craving a way to regain it.
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    (Original post by Cinnie)
    Hi anon, welcome to the thread, I can relate to many of the things you've said.
    -----------

    Unfortunately since I last updated, things have continued. I have this monster in my head who tries to take over my body, and then I have no control over what I do.

    I seem to be 4 different people on any given day and none of my plans stay solid, so I end up feeling guilty that I am getting nowhere with my life/weight.. And I've also been doing things compulsively, like
    Spoiler:
    Show
    drinking a salt water ,cleaning fluid and rum cocktail?!?!?!


    I feel like I have no control anymore and am craving a way to regain it.

    Some of the stuff you are drinking compulsively is not safe at all !! I know you probably know that and I am stating the obvious.

    Please try to look after yourself and stay safe.If you feel ill,please tell someone, and try to get medical help.
    • #198
    #198

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello all! Long time lurker, first time poster. I just feel like typing some things out so I'm going to put it under a spoiler since reading my ramblings can be a bit tiring! But before that I just want to say thank you to all the posters on this thread. Many times I've been agreeing to everyone's worries and behaviours - it's been a relief knowing I'm not the only person with certain thoughts etc. It's also helped me a lot in realising that I have a problem. Anyway, on with more rambling...

    Spoiler:
    Show
    So, I'll guess I'll start with a condensed history of how I came to how eating issues. I've been fairly chubby my whole life and then a few years ago it started becoming a lot less cute and a lot more of a downer on my life - to the point were I was just in the Obese BMI category [Beginning of 2010] Coupled with the death of my mum and the stress of starting GCSE's, I decided to take control of one aspect of my life and lose weight. At the beginning it was all very healthily done, less eating and more moving. By the time summer came around I needed to ramp it up a notch to lose more weight. Still, it was fairly healthy although that's when the calorie counting started. I restricted to the 'healthy' amount (although I have since realised that most 'healthy' calorie restrictions are generally complete bull), exercised more and hooray! The weight came off.

    I was one of those 'I'll never have an eating disorder, I'm losing weight the healthy way!' type of people. But, really, I'm starting to see that most people that diet begin that way. By the summer of 2011 I finally reached my goal weight and decided to begin eating properly again. However, that didn't exactly go to plan... for a couple of months it was fine, I realised I would gain a little bit back and I was fine. And then I wasn't. I decided to lose a little bit more weight and restricted my calories again. A couple of lbs down and I was happy again but I didn't stop restricting my calories. A- Levels started and slowly I restricted more and more - below BMR most of the time. This carried on for a while, despite the fact I became more fatigued, pale, dizzy/headrush and cold. Then last Christmas I decided to go on a diet before Christmas so that I could eat a lot on the day and not feel guilty (oh dear...). I went on the paleo diet, my calories varied a lot but were generally below my BMR. It worked and I got to the lowest weight I'd ever been and I really liked it. Christmas came and the weight went back on but at the beginning of this year I restricted more heavily than I've ever done before. This lasted until May when I began to realise it was a problem and knew I needed to eat for my exams. Since then I've been half-arsed trying to recover to varying degrees of success. I usually relapse every couple of weeks or so though.

    I know where a lot of my problems stem from. I tend to think that my life became a lot better once I got thinner - my liked my personality more, the way I looked, I got better grades, made new friends etc. while my 'fat self' was because of failure - being less social, ugly, dead mum etc. To be honest though, at least my 'fat self' had more confidence and mental stability. I'm still not entirely comfortable with saying I have an eating disorder because I haven't shared my problems with anyone else so I feel a bit like a fraud saying I have one (which, of course, triggers thoughts of 'trying harder'...thoughts, why are you so exhausting and repetitive?). I also have the stereotypical thoughts of 'but I'm not thin enough' and thinking that I'm a lot bigger than I am (my arms, legs, wrists and ankles are really quite skinny and boney - something I don't realise a lot of the times until I properly look). I've also realised a lot of my health issues from the past couple of years has stemmed from my eating habits - why I'm so cold a lot of the time, why I've been constantly constipated for the past two + years, why I've had bouts of depression and generally why I've been an unhappy sod



    So, rambling aside, on to my troubles...I'm really worried I'm going to relapse at Uni - a lot of the reason why I've only had lapses rather than blown out relapses over the summer is because I keep thinking to myself that it'll be easier to just relapse at Uni (I feel stupid just typing that out...I mean, seriously brain?). I was considering contacting the wellbeing team at my Uni but, since I feel ridiculous saying I have an eating disorder even to myself I don't know how I would talk to other people about it... I'm also ridiculously hungry at the moment, which makes me feel guilty and it's bringing me down a bit at the moment! Just got to keep reminding myself is stupid to feel guilty about something that keeps you alive... I'd never feel guilty for inhaling oxygen, for example. Sorry if I've bored you to death with my ramblings (I've typed up this post many times over the past few months, just haven't had the courage to post it until now) Hope you're all doing okay lovelies! <3
    Hey and welcome to the thread! It's great you've managed to open up a bit about your issues on here, it's a solid step towards accepting that you're habits / thoughts might need changing. A lot of what you've said is quite familiar and it does sound like you've got some issues around food and your body which are linked to your mood. It would be great if you could tell someone close to you about this, but posting on here is a good start. If you want someone to message, feel free to message me. I'm a bit worried about Uni too, is it going to be your first year?

    This is general advice to anyone going to Uni this year, I've been thinking about this stuff a lot over the last few days:

    I'm going self-catered and it'll be my first year. My mum's taking me round Tesco after I've unpacked to get loads of stuff for meals, etc. which will be useful, so I know she'll make sure I have enough to start me off. I'm planning on getting a couple of "emergency" ready meals because I'm worried I'll get caught up by the chaos of freshers and "not have time" to eat - which is a load of bull**** but EDs pray on those sorts of situations. So having a ready meal that you can bung in the mic for a few minutes is always useful if you're starting to get stressed about what to have or not having enough time to make anything.

    Also another thing is to have a good stock of decent snacks like chocolate bars, granola bars (love the nature valley with chocolate ones - they are YUM), etc. that you can throw in your bag. This is going to be useful if you've got freshers events (anything from registration, freshers' fairs, nights out) and you're not sure how long you're going to be out for. It's easy to avoid snacks by being out all morning / afternoon.

    Don't compare yourself to your flat mates. I don't know whether this is a bit stereotypical, but I'm expecting a lot of people to not have proper meals. There'll be people in your flat that don't have breakfast and don't eat a proper lunch or dinner. That doesn't give you an excuse not to have breakfast or whatever and you shouldn't feel self-conscious about doing so (I know I used to hate eating when other people weren't). If you're finding it difficult then try to set an exact time to have your breakfast in the morning, decide what you're going to have before you get to the kitchen to save potentially agonising about it in front of flat mates, and take it back to your bedroom if you don't want to eat in front of others (though I recommend trying to eat in communal areas if you can). Setting reminders on your phone about meal times is a good way of keeping in check too, especially in freshers' week where your established routine has gone out the window. MAKE time to eat. Make it a priority. If necessary plan what and when you're going to eat for the day. Take a packed lunch rather than relying on buying a meal deal or whatever (it's all to easy to panic if the sandwiches you like have all gone).

    If you can let someone know about your eating disorder at Uni this is very useful. They can't help you if they don't know. I appreciate how difficult this is though! Often there's someone you can email which is usually easier than face to face / over the phone. And remember you won't be the first person at your Uni with an eating disorder. You won't be alone. Check and see whether there's a support group at your Uni, you can usually find it through the Uni's health pages.

    That's all I've got for now. Might think of more later!
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    GAH AUTO ANON. The above was me. :P
    • #180
    #180

    ^^ Agree with all the above! I am halfway through freshers, and have been open about my MH problems since the application stage. Within 3 days I have registered with a GP who will most likely refer me to specialist services soon, met my personal tutor who is going to offer me as much support as she can, and I've had an assessment with disability services who have arranged for me to have extra time/extended library loan time etc and a specialist mental health mentor who is going to meet with me on a weekly basis at least until the CMHT put something in place, but probably longer. The support is there if you ask for it
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ^^ Agree with all the above! I am halfway through freshers, and have been open about my MH problems since the application stage. Within 3 days I have registered with a GP who will most likely refer me to specialist services soon, met my personal tutor who is going to offer me as much support as she can, and I've had an assessment with disability services who have arranged for me to have extra time/extended library loan time etc and a specialist mental health mentor who is going to meet with me on a weekly basis at least until the CMHT put something in place, but probably longer. The support is there if you ask for it
    you're so lucky in that repect. My tutor knows about my anxiety and... sort of freaked. you can tell he doesn't know how to deal with it, he won't refer to my panic attacks as panic attacks, he'll ask me if I've had 'another episode.' Which is pretty hurtful, and doesn't exactly encourage me to open up about the other crazy **** going on in my head, when I've already been told I'm a danger to myself and other in labs :/
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    See I've put it on my health form but I DON'T want to be referred to specialist services. I'm self-recovering and I need to be away from MH teams etc. as it drags me down. That's the only thing that concerns me about it all, as it's taken me over a year to convince the team I was seeing that I am okay and can manage on my own.

    @ Above Anon - sorry to hear about your tutor. Is there anyone else you could speak to about it in your department that might be able to either talk to your tutor about it or give you another tutor / alternative support?
    • #132
    #132

    (Original post by AlesanaWill)
    See I've put it on my health form but I DON'T want to be referred to specialist services. I'm self-recovering and I need to be away from MH teams etc. as it drags me down. That's the only thing that concerns me about it all, as it's taken me over a year to convince the team I was seeing that I am okay and can manage on my own.

    @ Above Anon - sorry to hear about your tutor. Is there anyone else you could speak to about it in your department that might be able to either talk to your tutor about it or give you another tutor / alternative support?
    I could possibly talk to the lady in the departmental office who deals with exams/ special circs. She was an absolute rock to a friend when she had a breakdown before exams.
    I understand what you mean with the whole 'I want people to know, but to not refer me to other people' thing. I needed modern languages to know, but I didnt want to get harassed re: DSA, and telling the learning disabilty people. I got that.
 
 
 
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