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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Sweetpea, I am writing this to help you understand that your train of thought, no matter how much you oppose it, is inevitable. You will end you existence this way.

    The difference here is that you have a person that adores you as a partner. And you are in a mindset that you want to improve. For some reason you believe that improvement is emaciation.

    I want you to do the following: Actually ask your betrothed how you could improve.

    Go on, ask them!

    I betcha anything they'll say "I wish they weren't so neurotic/obsessive" etc before they say "I wish she weighed less". I will literally give your ten pounds if this is not the case.

    This person that found you was so lucky. They found Snowyowl. The girl. The YOU. When they found you, they didn't say, "man, this girl is... reasonably awesome, but if only she was skeletal. Then I'd be attracted to her!"

    You're you, and that alone is awesome enough to be attractive beyond words!
    Just wanted to say, that was lovely.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    x
    Really beautiful and inspiring words...


    (Original post by Vikki1805)
    Just wanted to say, that was lovely.
    Yup!!! It moved me too!!



    (Original post by snowyowl)
    Oh Toto... I cried

    I don't know what to say. You've certainly given me food for thought (oh the irony!) - I think I need to go to bed and have a serious think about what I'm doing to myself

    :heart:
    Let Toto's words inspire you. You deserve to be inspired. You deserve to be everything that you can be
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    (Original post by los lobos marinos)
    Really beautiful and inspiring words...


    Yup!!! It moved me too!!



    Let Toto's words inspire you. You deserve to be inspired. You deserve to be everything that you can be
    (Original post by snowyowl)
    .
    Most of all, you deserve to be happy, that's something nobody has the right to take from you.

    I promise you, you're worth so much more than you think you are.
    • #173
    #173

    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Sweetpea, I am writing this to help you understand that your train of thought, no matter how much you oppose it, is inevitable. You will end you existence this way.

    The difference here is that you have a person that adores you as a partner. And you are in a mindset that you want to improve. For some reason you believe that improvement is emaciation.

    I want you to do the following: Actually ask your betrothed how you could improve.

    Go on, ask them!

    I betcha anything they'll say "I wish they weren't so neurotic/obsessive" etc before they say "I wish she weighed less". I will literally give your ten pounds if this is not the case.

    This person that found you was so lucky. They found Snowyowl. The girl. The YOU. When they found you, they didn't say, "man, this girl is... reasonably awesome, but if only she was skeletal. Then I'd be attracted to her!"

    You're you, and that alone is awesome enough to be attractive beyond words!
    I've asked him something similar the other day, and he said to me "you're perfect as you are" and "I'm so glad you have curves".

    So why can't I believe it? :cry: your words are very kind and moving, as always, and I am trying my absolute best to eat properly today :proud: I just hope this gets easier!

    (Original post by los lobos marinos)

    Let Toto's words inspire you. You deserve to be inspired. You deserve to be everything that you can be

    (Original post by Vikki1805)
    Most of all, you deserve to be happy, that's something nobody has the right to take from you.

    I promise you, you're worth so much more than you think you are.
    I've never believed I'm worth anything so thank you for your kindness :heart:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've asked him something similar the other day, and he said to me "you're perfect as you are" and "I'm so glad you have curves".

    So why can't I believe it? :cry: your words are very kind and moving, as always, and I am trying my absolute best to eat properly today :proud: I just hope this gets easier!






    I've never believed I'm worth anything so thank you for your kindness :heart:
    You're worth a lot.

    Take control of your life, otherwise life will control you!

    Believe that you're worthy of being happy and then you can be. :yy:
    • #206
    #206

    It's brilliant to see a guy opening up about an eating disorder. My boyfriend suffered with annorexia nervosa and bullimia when we first met and he has (thankfully) got through it. (Well, as much as he can, it's always still there slightly but he's learnt to overcome his thoughts). Whenever he told anyone (except me) or any doctors they basically laughed him out of the room, saying how 'boys don't get eating disorders, only girls do'. It took him so long to get help just because of his gender. (And some people think men have it so easy with everything?!) So all I can say is you are an inspiration and don't let anyone tell you otherwise x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's brilliant to see a guy opening up about an eating disorder. My boyfriend suffered with annorexia nervosa and bullimia when we first met and he has (thankfully) got through it. (Well, as much as he can, it's always still there slightly but he's learnt to overcome his thoughts). Whenever he told anyone (except me) or any doctors they basically laughed him out of the room, saying how 'boys don't get eating disorders, only girls do'. It took him so long to get help just because of his gender. (And some people think men have it so easy with everything?!) So all I can say is you are an inspiration and don't let anyone tell you otherwise x
    I echo these sentiments. I'm 20, male and despite only suffering for less than a year, I too have found GPs less than helpful/empathetic.

    There really should be more done about the stigma surrounding gender and eating disorders. Toto kind of resembles what I hope to become once I've recovered.
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    (Original post by Mackay)
    I echo these sentiments. I'm 20, male and despite only suffering for less than a year, I too have found GPs less than helpful/empathetic.

    There really should be more done about the stigma surrounding gender and eating disorders. Toto kind of resembles what I hope to become once I've recovered.
    One more here - 22, male and still recovering.

    Found it really hard to actually tell anyone about it and find it really awkward still in social eating situations.
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    (Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain)
    That was something a lot of ED sufferers need to read toto.

    It's been good to read some of the older members posting and seeming to be getting on so well recently, and want to say to the newer ones it is an uphill battle that often feels two step forwards one step back.

    As for me.. I'm feeling the healthiest I've been in about 18 months and I have a happy face again, by no means easy and by no means always a happy face but every so often that happy Beth reappears and I like it.

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    Well done you amazing person!! x
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    I agree that it's good to see so many more males opening up about their ED...you read so many books where a sufferer is referred to as "she", but this only feeds into the misconception of it being a "girl's" illness. It's nice that people are always so honest on this forum; always feels like there's someone around to help! I used to be part of a forum on another site which was all negative, competitive and horrendously triggering; all the members just made each other worse by trying to be "more ill" than the others. Even the "recovered" ones weren't fooling anyone.
    This is different and is such a positive place to go with some really inspiring stories...so thankful to read so many uplifting posts!
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    So despite spending over an hour in bed trying to convince myself I didn't need breakfast I just got up and had two slices of toast and I feel wonderful!
    • #122
    #122

    (Original post by Mackay)
    It's the same for me. Who are your favourite artists/bands?

    Since starting my eating plan and being completely banned from exercise of any kind, I've found myself listening to music and writing articles quite a lot - so that's a positive. Anybody got any non-exercise ways of passing the time? I've almost exhausted my Breaking Bad box-set. My mum suggested learning a language in my free time.
    I like quite a few different genres. I like turning mainstream music in to acoustic versions. I also have a slight crush on American country artists! What about you? Wow that sounds great! It's really nice finding something you enjoy to pass the time. Learning a language would be a really good idea! I was hoping to learn one this year at uni; however, freshers week kind of extended now i'm a little behind with my lectures so I don't feel I can really justify spending the time on a language! Perhaps next term

    Today marks two weeks in to recovery and with only one lapse I feel wonderful :rolleyes:
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    Why am I always thinking I'm not enough or too much for people? That I'm essentially wrong?

    It's always I'm too fat, too skinny, too lazy, too hard-working, too stupid, too pretentious, don't drink enough, drink too much, sleep too much, too serious, not mature enough, not funny enough, not 'manly' enough, not sexy enough, too impulsive, not in control enough (particularly when feelling like I'm going to burst in a lecture), not popular enough, not chatty enough, just ugh shut up brain

    Can I not be alright as I am? (But in all honestly, I'm not happy with where I am right now. I need to catch up on my work (I'm in third year after all), I genuinely would like to fit more proper exercise in, I'd like to socialise more and not be so bloody late, all these kind of things.

    How do you strive to improve without beating yourself up for the way you are right now?
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    Had my bone scan results today and am so upset. Can't believe the damage I've done. Horribly close to osteoporosis-level in my spine and it's been a real shock; I'm so angry with myself. I'm slowly getting better and better with eating and this has been another wake-up call to keep me going...but please someone tell me this can be reversed? I can't believe I've been so damn stupid these past few years, what the hell have I done to myself?!
    Definitely marks the end of running for a long time, though to be honest I only ever take a gentle walk with the dog to clear my head these days.
    • #81
    #81

    Some inspiring stories as of late. Hopefully I can relate to some of them sooner than later.

    Anyway, how do you guys fight the urge to binge? I swear to god it's so mind controlling when that's all you can think about..

    Also, has anyone ever had a home visit by their counselor / psychiatrist etc..?
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    I feel a bit saw today. Things had been going so well, and out of the blue.. A binge! Time between binges, and strength of urges have been getting more spaced out but I am just really disappointed :/


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    Meant to say sad


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    It is literally GALLING when you first realise how much damage you've done. I mean, it depends on your own physical resilience but literally, when you restrict, if they do a bone scan the best you can hope for is a tut and a sigh.

    If your bones are normal, they're zero. Neither up nor down. If they're osteoporotic, they're -1. Mine are still -4.1, at their worst they were -4.8.

    When I read my bones were at least 3-4 x worse than an 80 year old woman, that's when I realised restriction has WAY more effects on the insides than the outsides. I break bones by sitting the wrong way.
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    Spoilering because I'm going to talk about food and such.

    Spoiler:
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    Do any other recovered people still feel completely socially awkward and absolutely terrified when it comes to eating in front of other people? I generally consider myself recovered now. I still have my down times, but I know how to deal with them now. Yet when it comes to going out for a meal with someone, or something trivial like that, it just absolutely terrifies me. I don't really know if I'm looking for advice, or just reassurance that I'm not the only one. I'm supposed to be going on a date tomorrow evening and I'm just so scared to eat in front of someone I'm really sorry that this probably seems pathetically trivial compared to other topics in this thread right now. But I just hate that this thing still has some sort of a hold over my life. It's been 5 years and it's still holding me back.
    • #200
    #200

    Hello all, some very eye opening stories have come about these past few days and I can only commend those who constantly share their thoughts and feelings on this thread - you're all wonderful individuals. I'm the anon from a month or so ago who was fretting about starting uni and relapsing and well it's...getting ugly again. Spoilering for rambling...
    Spoiler:
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    I had a lapse a few weeks ago that lasted a few days but then I got back on track but these past couple of days have been very difficult. I've restricted to the lowest amount I have ever done. Luckily today I've eaten a normal amount, due to being home for a long weekend, but I have no idea about tomorrow or when I go back to uni. Already I feel fatigued, getting horrible headaches and generally feeling rubbish. I just feel conflicted a lot of the time and I was feeling fine about my weight and the way I looked for a long time, haven't weighed myself and I even had a couple of weeks without calorie counting but then it just falls apart over and over again.
    I think I need to reach out to someone, a friend or a GP but I can't help but feel I'm making it more of a problem than it is? I know it's a common thought of 'I'm not good enough to have an eating disorder, I'm not skinny enough' but I'm worried no one would take me seriously. I have the eating disorder thought processes but not always the behaviours, I always seem to swing back and forth between recovery and relapse. It's like I get two weeks of normal eating followed by a week or restriction and then I think 'oh, stop being stupid and eat' and then I eat well for a couple of weeks and then the moment I feel normal and beginning to get better my brain just freaks out and needs to 'prove' I have eating issues.
    Gah, sorry for the rambling mess. I'm just feeling extra anxious because I've eaten a normal amount and have, therefore, 'broken' the three days of minimal eating...

 
 
 
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