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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by souldoubt)
    Thank you :cute:

    Gosh, it is weird how we all have bad days at the same time, isn't it?
    At least we can all struggle together :five: :hugs:

    Please don't sing Friday :afraid: :mmm:
    Yeah, we've got each other! :hugs:
    And I blame my friends in the Glee soc haha, them constantly 'singing' it has sort of got me... er... not violently hating it! The Glee version is actually... *coughs* pretty damn good!

    Gotta go downstairs... gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal! See! It's an instruction for LIFE! Ms. Rebecca Black is a true philosopher with an intellect that rivals Plato... even though she didn't actually write that profound song! :rolleyes: You've GOT to watch my video in my sig! It's not actually Friday but it's so epic. And it has Darren Criss in it, which is always good!
    (Original post by Antiaris)
    I'm not gonna post how I've been as of late. I feel even including it in spoiler tags will be too triggering for some...

    Might post afterthoughts when I'm through this down period.
    :hugs:
    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    :hugs: Can't really say much more than that. sorry for being useless.

    In other news, I've seriously got to ask my friend to eat something when we go to london for the open day. She just sat there and stared into space whilst we had lunch. V. awkward.
    Oh dear... :hugs:
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    (Original post by Cinamon)
    Well done souldoubt

    Well that was the most embarrassing moment of my life. Walked to the shops and had to sit down on the way back because the world started spinning.

    The looks I got.

    Going to curl up in bed and cringe now
    I can half equal that. Well, turning up to school with no make up on when im rediculously pale anyway = not great. German room is far too warm, I suddenly feel really,really dizzy. End up sat on my chair knees up to my chest, desperately trying NOT to faint/ throw up. Must've looked really poorly. Got asked 4 or so times in a 1 hour lesson whether I was ok.

    Or nearly fainted right at the end of lunchtime. Walks into form, gets asked by everyone 'snowflake, are you ok??
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    i was told today in the local library i wasn't allowed to eat in there unless it was chocolate! what kind of a bull**** rule is that
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Oh dear... :hugs:
    I know. Its worrying how rarely we see her eat tbh.
    Spoiler:
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    She's 5foot 4, can fit into a size 4 from topshop and her collarbones are rediculously prominent.


    (Original post by squiff93)
    i was told today in the local library i wasn't allowed to eat in there unless it was chocolate! what kind of a bull**** rule is that
    WHAT! Surely chocolate goes all melty melty and then is all over your fingers, and you lick it off, but they're still all sticky and such?
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I know. Its worrying how rarely we see her eat tbh.
    Spoiler:
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    She's 5foot 4, can fit into a size 4 from topshop and her collarbones are rediculously prominent.





    WHAT! Surely chocolate goes all melty melty and then is all over your fingers, and you lick it off, but they're still all sticky and such?
    I KNOW lol, i later went up to the front desk informing them that i was 'disatisfied with the conduct of their staff' because the past 2 weeks the people who work there have shown serious age discrimination and just been soo unaccomadating! i was shaking ridiculously though while i was talking. i was tempted to ask about what the relationship between food with nutritional value and disruptive behaviour was but i resisted lol

    and yeah i've had the same thing today, my friends also on a diet and only eats dinner everyday, but the difference between her and me is that if she was to **** up this diet it wouldn't be the end of the world to her and her diet isn't so long-term. is your friend constantly dieting, like is it a mindset or a diet?
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    and yeah i've had the same thing today, my friends also on a diet and only eats dinner everyday, but the difference between her and me is that if she was to **** up this diet it wouldn't be the end of the world to her and her diet isn't so long-term. is your friend constantly dieting, like is it a mindset or a diet?
    I've no idea. She's been like this as long as I've known her. Shes a perfectionist, no doubt about it. She claims she eats loads at home. I'm not convinced. Very good at doing the 'omgz, my thighs are huge' thing. Annoying as hell because there isnt an ounze of fat on her!

    The poeple at my local library are useless too. I wanted to borrow 'Der Vorleser', their searchy thing says that they have the book in atm. I goes in, asks for it. The second I tell the lady its in German 'Oh, it might be upstairs.'
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    (Original post by souldoubt)
    Despite the fact today has been pretty much unbearable, I've just eaten a small chicken pie and a few spoonfuls of mashed potato.
    In your face, Tuesday. :unimpressed:
    Woo well done hun.


    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Musing about this thread...
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    Why do we all seem to have **** days at the same time? :curious: It happens with me and one of my friends with an ED too, it's like we don't talk for ages and then when we do we're either both in a ok place or a rubbish place. Some kind of weird ED telepathy or something? :rolleyes:


    Negative exam rant alert...
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    I'm just ******* myself over tomorrow's exam. It's so bad I think I might go to bed now/have a nap because I'm just getting into a really **** mood and I just want to skip the exam and just do my English exam because I know I won't fail that. *tempting fate* Obviously, that's stupid and I won't skip the exam but I have a really awful feeling the scholar EVERYONE thinks will come up won't and I can't revise Westphal. I guess even if it's awful, I'll get a *few* marks. I just need my damn A and I need to get into UEA and I'm just like... *meh* about revising for this exam because I don't even know anything now and my brain isn't taking anything in. I feel like I'm rubbish at the stupid paper. But I'm not and I do know the essays- as in... I've read them. I'm just freaking out at the magnitude of what I have to know by tomorrow. 3 essays. Scholarly links and critiques and implications of said essays. One of which is 10 pages long. If Ayer doesn't come up I'll probably cry/walk out of the exam hall. It HAS to come up! It hasn't come up for the past 3 years and it's the only one I can write enough about. I can do Donavan a bit too but please God, not Westphal. Everything in my head is telling me I can't do it and I don't know why. I might not be the best but I'm not stupid FFS. I CAN DO THIS. It won't kill me at any rate. And there are always resits... or maybe UEA will be nice to me. Argh. Stop thinking like that. I can do it and it will be ok.


    On a positive note, this time next week I'll be FREE of exams! And in two days time I'll only have one exam left that I need a relatively low grade in. And it's fun to revise Psychology anyway. It doesn't make me sad. *glares at RS essays*
    I'm going to find a job so I can earn some money and not lounge about in the summer. And I'm going to Paris in August which should be a nice change of scene and I don't need to worry about food because we're renting a house so I can take food with me. And I'm meeting up with friends I haven't seen. And my stepmomma has promised to take me out somewhere. So I DO have things to look forward to and I just need to get through these exams and this blip. I don't like feeling miserable when I have no real reason to be.

    I've just realised I swear a lot. Sorry.
    First spoiler:
    I just noticed that, it does seem weird... maybe it's like you know before the tsunami all the animals ran inland? Well maybe we're just psychic and intuitive like that; our eating patterns are reflective of some major worldwide conspiracy... o.O
    (yeah or maybe I'm just bonkers)

    Second spoiler:
    :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: I can't really say anything about Ayer/Westphal because I don't study that anthology, all I can say is:
    a) Even if it doesn't go quite as well as you'd like, it's only 25% of the marks, you probably don't even need to turn up to get at least a B! It's all just bonus marks
    b) I haven't written any essays, let alone learned them, and not wanting to sound complacent but I am by far the most prepared out of my class. Assuming there are many more schools like mine, you are already at an advantage just having written the essays!
    c) You will get into UEA because your previously demonstrated powers of prayer are second to none :')

    There's not really anything you can change now, all you can do is chill and sleep and do your best, but you seem really prepared so I really wouldn't worry

    Couldn't read the third spoiler, sorry my stupid pooey piece of poo is being extraordinarily pooey tonight. But major good luck for tomorrow, you will be fine and your summer will be AWESOME and you WILL get to UEA oh and I'm attempting pre-exam breakfast tomorrow, I think you should too!
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    Might be triggering.....
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    Today is my sisters birthday thus you can imagine how much pain I'm in right now. There is a mass of junk food downstairs and even though I wouldn't touch it, a part of me wants one little thing... ONE ****ING COOKIE but when I try to rationalise in my head that I can have it the other part of me is screaming NO! YOU CANNOT! YOU ARE FAT AND DISGUSTING AND WORTHLESS! YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT ME.... repeat this 10x and it's making me want to break down :'(
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    (Original post by Linweth)
    Might be triggering.....
    Spoiler:
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    Today is my sisters birthday thus you can imagine how much pain I'm in right now. There is a mass of junk food downstairs and even though I wouldn't touch it, a part of me wants one little thing... ONE ****ING COOKIE but when I try to rationalise in my head that I can have it the other part of me is screaming NO! YOU CANNOT! YOU ARE FAT AND DISGUSTING AND WORTHLESS! YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT ME.... repeat this 10x and it's making me want to break down :'(
    You are not fat, at all! Try to eat the cookie if you can - it's not going to hurt you, it'll only hurt the ED in showing it that you are stronger. I know it's hard but try to ignore the evil little voice of the ED. You are not worthless of disgusting!
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I've no idea. She's been like this as long as I've known her. Shes a perfectionist, no doubt about it. She claims she eats loads at home. I'm not convinced. Very good at doing the 'omgz, my thighs are huge' thing. Annoying as hell because there isnt an ounze of fat on her!

    The poeple at my local library are useless too. I wanted to borrow 'Der Vorleser', their searchy thing says that they have the book in atm. I goes in, asks for it. The second I tell the lady its in German 'Oh, it might be upstairs.'
    ah librarians these days ey its like they think that i'm spending all my time there through choice!

    yeah i know, my friends are similar they aren't really careful about what they say at all, but if i was to say the stuff they said it would have a completely different meaning and be interpreted sooo differently, it kind of makes me think that the thoughts in my head are totally normal aswell because i don't understand the difference between me other people on a diet. i'm so sure i eat more than half of my friends but then sometimes they eat stuff that i couldn't and don't flinch about it it confuses me so much.
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    ah librarians these days ey its like they think that i'm spending all my time there through choice!

    yeah i know, my friends are similar they aren't really careful about what they say at all, but if i was to say the stuff they said it would have a completely different meaning and be interpreted sooo differently, it kind of makes me think that the thoughts in my head are totally normal aswell because i don't understand the difference between me other people on a diet. i'm so sure i eat more than half of my friends but then sometimes they eat stuff that i couldn't and don't flinch about it it confuses me so much.
    THe most insensitive thing i've ever heard
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    Lass in my room eating like, 5-600 cals a day. Then BRAGGING ABOUT IT. 'I'm only eating X, Y and Z cos i'm on a diet' so on and so forth. ironic as hell, considering 8-9 months previously shes preading rumours about me being anorexic.
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    Any advice or support for me?
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    THe most insensitive thing i've ever heard
    Spoiler:
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    Lass in my room eating like, 5-600 cals a day. Then BRAGGING ABOUT IT. 'I'm only eating X, Y and Z cos i'm on a diet' so on and so forth. ironic as hell, considering 8-9 months previously shes preading rumours about me being anorexic.
    RIDICULOUS people just don't understand, its so annoying the false opinion people have of people have on people with eating disorders about them being attention seeking and what not. if you have an eating disorder the aim is not to tell people about what your eating and not to get caught. whereas other people loveeee to **** people like us off, for our bodies, ways of thinking and say we want to be original or want attention or some other bull**** but then there ALWAYS the ones talking about their weight, their diet expecting other people to compliment them on their success their weight their strength etc which is just what they choose to insult other people about ARGH!

    i've had a friend ask me to recommend a diet to her before, and so i did ... i really don't know why but i did. and she actually said ermmm i think i'd rather eat less than that .... rather triggering
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    RIDICULOUS people just don't understand, its so annoying the false opinion people have of people have on people with eating disorders about them being attention seeking and what not. if you have an eating disorder the aim is not to tell people about what your eating and not to get caught. whereas other people loveeee to **** people like us off, for our bodies, ways of thinking and say we want to be original or want attention or some other bull**** but then there ALWAYS the ones talking about their weight, their diet expecting other people to compliment them on their success their weight their strength etc which is just what they choose to insult other people about ARGH!

    i've had a friend ask me to recommend a diet to her before, and so i did ... i really don't know why but i did. and she actually said ermmm i think i'd rather eat less than that .... rather triggering
    I know. And I'm sat there going, you'll manage maybe a week or two before binging on fruitcake because you'll feel that light headed and dizzy. Everything'll take 300 times as much effort, and screw being able to write a coherant sentence in english!
    Then the ***** gets me dragged into the heads office twice in two days. Once over the fact a lad tried to put his hand up her skirt and obv. in her desperation to get the school to actually do something about this lad, dragged me into it, and my lack of eating at the time. The same lad bullied me relentlessly between Y7 and 11.
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    Been sick. ****.
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    morrisman - they accepted it as fluid finally sorting itself out. was told my weight on thurs would be the most accurate reflection. however it's ward round tomorrow and i'm expecting a meal plan increase.

    which i am DREADING.

    and today has been hard. i fricking HATE soup. the toast and butter is 320 alone, and it's a MASSIVE bowl of soup and it has CHEESE added to it. it's meant to be a 'snack' meal that's probably in excess of 700 calories, fgs. on top of a lunch of cheese-stuffed supreme of chicken with 2 massive scoops of mash and veg and gravy, the cheese was leaking fatty juices everywhere...

    ...

    i'm feeling disgusting.
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    (Original post by souldoubt)
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    Been sick. ****.
    Deliberately? or not?
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    Hello?
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    (Original post by drbluebox)
    Hello?
    I've seen your message. Can't help sorry. Most of us who are active on here are usually AN sufferers or EDNOS.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    Deliberately? or not?
    Both... if that makes sense? I felt it coming so went to the bathroom,
    the feeling passed, but... mm :sad:

    It's like I'm either on a massive high or completely low, no middle ground
 
 
 
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