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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by souldoubt)
    Both... if that makes sense? I felt it coming so went to the bathroom,
    the feeling passed, but... mm :sad:

    It's like I'm either on a massive high or completely low, no middle ground
    If its not a rammed your fingers/ toothbrush down your throat to make yourself sick type of being sick, I wouldnt beat yourself up over it.

    Have discussed vomit far too much today. Doesnt help when the 2nd page in the book your reading for german is essentially all on this topic.
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    (Original post by drbluebox)
    I assume I have an eating disorder but in the other direction, I can starve for days then pig out and about 6 years ago kept trying to make myself sick and tried taking large doses of laxatives each day.

    Not sure if that messed me up as I was thin before that(though always broad) but after I started taking the laxatives my weight actually went up really fast and has gone up since.

    These days I have severe depression so often starve but I am a cram sort of eater, when I do actually eat I hate leftovers so no matter what be it a pizza a friend bought for us to share and he then decides not to have any I will eat till I feel sick, sometimes thats a few slices.

    Or I have a pack of crumpets and I eat the whole lot or even if I am full with 2 or 3 its stuck on my mind so I will eat them later even if I am in pain eating them.

    I starve often all day and eat at night and waste a lot of food as I struggle to eat anything hence the cramming just so I eat something.

    When I go back to parents for a week despite 2 meals a day and a snack for supper like a sandwich I lose a stone over a week! which goes back on within about 10 days with my diet when I get back.
    I'm sorry, I'm really not feeling up to giving advice atm. Re: the laxatives, well they dehydrate you so you probably gained back water weight. I'll try and say something tomorrow when I feel less **** and easily triggered. I don't really know what to say because I only have experience with laxatives. :hugs:

    (Original post by Kebabbi)
    Woo well done hun.




    First spoiler:
    I just noticed that, it does seem weird... maybe it's like you know before the tsunami all the animals ran inland? Well maybe we're just psychic and intuitive like that; our eating patterns are reflective of some major worldwide conspiracy... o.O
    (yeah or maybe I'm just bonkers)

    Second spoiler:
    :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: I can't really say anything about Ayer/Westphal because I don't study that anthology, all I can say is:
    a) Even if it doesn't go quite as well as you'd like, it's only 25% of the marks, you probably don't even need to turn up to get at least a B! It's all just bonus marks
    b) I haven't written any essays, let alone learned them, and not wanting to sound complacent but I am by far the most prepared out of my class. Assuming there are many more schools like mine, you are already at an advantage just having written the essays!
    c) You will get into UEA because your previously demonstrated powers of prayer are second to none :')

    There's not really anything you can change now, all you can do is chill and sleep and do your best, but you seem really prepared so I really wouldn't worry

    Couldn't read the third spoiler, sorry my stupid pooey piece of poo is being extraordinarily pooey tonight. But major good luck for tomorrow, you will be fine and your summer will be AWESOME and you WILL get to UEA oh and I'm attempting pre-exam breakfast tomorrow, I think you should too!
    Thank you hun. I hope you're feeling ok. Pre exam breakfast! :yes:
    You know what? Screw trying to revise anymore, think I'm going to go to bed and wake up really early tomorrow. You've cheered me up. It's only 25%. *breathes*
    Love you honey, don't you worry either! It'll be fine! :hugs:
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    (Original post by souldoubt)
    Both... if that makes sense? I felt it coming so went to the bathroom,
    the feeling passed, but... mm :sad:

    It's like I'm either on a massive high or completely low, no middle ground
    I used to do that all the time when I was drinking, literally every night out I threw up even after a few drinks in fact so much so I used to almost look forward to it and if I didnt get sick on a night out I used to feel like something was wrong.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I know. And I'm sat there going, you'll manage maybe a week or two before binging on fruitcake because you'll feel that light headed and dizzy. Everything'll take 300 times as much effort, and screw being able to write a coherant sentence in english!
    exactly, i hate to feel too sorry for myself but this really really isn't a choice because no-one would choose it. i can understand people not wanting to throw themselves into recovery because its so scary and the ED is like a comfort blanket a lot of the time.

    to be honest i get mixed emotions when my friends diet, a part of me gets excited because i know it'll spur me on more and make me more determined than ever, but then because sometimes it means i eat when they don't because i tend to faint if i miss meals - i end up feeling greedy and rubbish at dieting. but then i get happy because they always fail and tell me about it so then i feel like i beat them.

    GOD THATS SO SICK
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    (Original post by drbluebox)
    I used to do that all the time when I was drinking, literally every night out I threw up even after a few drinks in fact so much so I used to almost look forward to it and if I didnt get sick on a night out I used to feel like something was wrong.
    Oh god yeah, I'm terrible with that. I'm always sick when I drink - and I drink a LOT. If I wasn't sick afterwards it's almost like... I dunno, like there's no point?
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    Hang in there custard, can your read a book or listen to music to distract yourself?

    You continue to amaze us all with your strenght and determination to beat this and get to Uni
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    exactly, i hate to feel too sorry for myself but this really really isn't a choice because no-one would choose it. i can understand people not wanting to throw themselves into recovery because its so scary and the ED is like a comfort blanket a lot of the time.

    to be honest i get mixed emotions when my friends diet, a part of me gets excited because i know it'll spur me on more and make me more determined than ever, but then because sometimes it means i eat when they don't because i tend to faint if i miss meals - i end up feeling greedy and rubbish at dieting. but then i get happy because they always fail and tell me about it so then i feel like i beat them.

    GOD THATS SO SICK
    I know. Why did you think I did my controversial speech for english on AN. Well, mainly down to the fact that the media was coming out with *******s about pics of skinny models etc. making us anorexic etc. Didnt realise I'd have 5 lasses in my english set in tears. Knew about one of them, cos she'd mentioned it a few weeks b4. Felt like **** for weeks afterwards.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I know. Why did you think I did my controversial speech for english on AN. Well, mainly down to the fact that the media was coming out with *******s about pics of skinny models etc. making us anorexic etc. Didnt realise I'd have 5 lasses in my english set in tears. Knew about one of them, cos she'd mentioned it a few weeks b4. Felt like **** for weeks afterwards.
    jeez thats such a brave thing to do yano, like i would so want to educate people about it but i'd be too scared to talk about it in front of other people because people are so judgemental no matter what you say. i can imagine you felt bad but tbh people need to be informed and by talking about it you must have been stepping out of your confort zone because its something that affects you not just the 5 girls in your class. i think my speech was on poverty defo took the easier option
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    (Original post by *custardcream)
    morrisman - they accepted it as fluid finally sorting itself out. was told my weight on thurs would be the most accurate reflection. however it's ward round tomorrow and i'm expecting a meal plan increase.

    which i am DREADING.

    and today has been hard. i fricking HATE soup. the toast and butter is 320 alone, and it's a MASSIVE bowl of soup and it has CHEESE added to it. it's meant to be a 'snack' meal that's probably in excess of 700 calories, fgs. on top of a lunch of cheese-stuffed supreme of chicken with 2 massive scoops of mash and veg and gravy, the cheese was leaking fatty juices everywhere...

    ...

    i'm feeling disgusting.
    Haven't got much (anything) to say but :hugs:
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    jeez thats such a brave thing to do yano, like i would so want to educate people about it but i'd be too scared to talk about it in front of other people because people are so judgemental no matter what you say. i can imagine you felt bad but tbh people need to be informed and by talking about it you must have been stepping out of your confort zone because its something that affects you not just the 5 girls in your class. i think my speech was on poverty defo took the easier option
    I really, really didnt want to give it (convinced EVERYONE would know i'm mucked up food wisey)/ HAD to do well in it (Eng. teacher has a friend with AN.) Got a really high A in it though iirc.
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    You guys are so brave. How you go about your day to day lives just amazes and inspires me. I'm just about ready to give up on life
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I know. Why did you think I did my controversial speech for english on AN. Well, mainly down to the fact that the media was coming out with *******s about pics of skinny models etc. making us anorexic etc. Didnt realise I'd have 5 lasses in my english set in tears. Knew about one of them, cos she'd mentioned it a few weeks b4. Felt like **** for weeks afterwards.
    I did a speech on the danger of pro ana sites in year 9 after seeing an article about them in Cosmogirl or Sugar or something. Part of me is still convinced I got triggered by it, even though I didn't actually get ill until years later and when I did get ill, I never did anything I researched. :rolleyes:
    Why did you feel like ****? I'd be proud of myself, it's really brave to speak out about it. :hugs:
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    I really, really didnt want to give it (convinced EVERYONE would know i'm mucked up food wisey)/ HAD to do well in it (Eng. teacher has a friend with AN.) Got a really high A in it though iirc.
    ah thats good to be honest i can imagine it was a pretty damn good speech because its something your clued up on and passionate about.

    j/w do you know if circulation problems can be caused by a dodgy diet?
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    (Original post by Aemiliana)
    You are not fat, at all! Try to eat the cookie if you can - it's not going to hurt you, it'll only hurt the ED in showing it that you are stronger. I know it's hard but try to ignore the evil little voice of the ED. You are not worthless of disgusting!
    I can't. I just can't. If by some miracle I managed to I would only hurt myself over it, it is pathetic, I am pathetic.
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    (Original post by Cinamon)
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    You guys are so brave. How you go about your day to day lives just amazes and inspires me. I'm just about ready to give up on life
    Spoiler:
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    Oh Cinamon! :hugs: Have you had an especially bad day or is it just *everything*- life? It's ******* tiring and hard, I know. Please keep going. Things HAVE to get better.
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    ah thats good to be honest i can imagine it was a pretty damn good speech because its something your clued up on and passionate about.

    j/w do you know if circulation problems can be caused by a dodgy diet?
    Yes - if you mean dodgy diet as a euphemism for an ED, I have ****e circulation to my feet, legs and hands, and i didnt think I was that bad, i.e. if you were to drag me to the doctors at my worst, I'dve been labelled with EDNOS.
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
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    Oh Cinamon! :hugs: Have you had an especially bad day or is it just *everything*- life? It's ******* tiring and hard, I know. Please keep going. Things HAVE to get better.
    Spoiler:
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    I really don't know. I'm such a mess right now and i'm trying to keep going to see my exam through tomorrow but I just don't know.
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    I did a speech on the danger of pro ana sites in year 9 after seeing an article about them in Cosmogirl or Sugar or something. Part of me is still convinced I got triggered by it, even though I didn't actually get ill until years later and when I did get ill, I never did anything I researched. :rolleyes:
    Why did you feel like ****? I'd be proud of myself, it's really brave to speak out about it. :hugs:
    mine was ED's and pro ana websites. They are bloody lethal. Didnt trigger, constantly being called fat/stupid from the ages of 11-16 generally screws you up, did make me worse. 2-4-6-8 diet looking at youu.

    Made five of the girls in my class cry. I knew before hand that it might upset one of them, a few weeks previously she'd mentioned her mum had been in a coma because of it. When she burst into tears, I freaked.
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    ah thats good to be honest i can imagine it was a pretty damn good speech because its something your clued up on and passionate about.

    j/w do you know if circulation problems can be caused by a dodgy diet?
    I think so. At least I've noticed that with me. My hands and feet are perpetually blue (or red) and they never used to be like that.

    (Original post by Linweth)
    I can't. I just can't. If by some miracle I managed to I would only hurt myself over it, it is pathetic, I am pathetic.
    You aren't pathetic. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Cinamon)
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    I really don't know. I'm such a mess right now and i'm trying to keep going to see my exam through tomorrow but I just don't know.
    Spoiler:
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    PM me if you need to. Seriously. I don't want you to do anything. :hugs: I HATE it when I'm suicidal and people say this to me but I'm going to say it all the same, please please please just hold on for a little bit longer. :cry: :console:


    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    mine was ED's and pro ana websites. They are bloody lethal. Didnt trigger, constantly being called fat/stupid from the ages of 11-16 generally screws you up, did make me worse. 2-4-6-8 diet looking at youu.

    Made five of the girls in my class cry. I knew before hand that it might upset one of them, a few weeks previously she'd mentioned her mum had been in a coma because of it. When she burst into tears, I freaked.
    Emotional abuse sucks. :yes: :hugs:
    Did you cry? I think I might have.
 
 
 
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