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    • #143
    #143

    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    The eating side of things is generally stable at the moment but my mood is dreadful. Thanks for asking though How are you doing? :hugs:
    Glad you're eating is ok, sorry your struggling with your mood though! Are you getting any support at the moment?
    I'm ok, struggling a bit at the mo tbh, but trying to keep everything under control!
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    Beggining to restrict daily intake

    Gone from bingeing to restring. Great.


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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    The eating side of things is generally stable at the moment but my mood is dreadful. Thanks for asking though How are you doing? :hugs:
    Sorry, anon poster above was me... Grr!
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    I didn't want to come back here after a bad experience with someone (a different account) but I feel like I'm slipping


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    (Original post by jft18)
    Sorry, anon poster above was me... Grr!
    No worries! Sorry I didn't reply earlier, not sure what happened I'm getting supposed support, but it's all ineffective and intermittent. Sorry to hear you're struggling - if ever you want a chat then feel free to PM me. Are you getting any support with things? :hugs:
    • #143
    #143

    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    No worries! Sorry I didn't reply earlier, not sure what happened I'm getting supposed support, but it's all ineffective and intermittent. Sorry to hear you're struggling - if ever you want a chat then feel free to PM me. Are you getting any support with things? :hugs:
    Oh no, sorry to hear your support is a bit crappy
    Thank you, means a lot! No, I'm not - haven't really told anybody this time around.
    • #75
    #75

    (Original post by doodle_333)
    best thing with exercise abuse is to just stop for a while, it is very hard to try and cut down as exercising less when you think you're getting fitter seems counterintuitive, I struggled a lot and every time I tried to cut down I would drop it a bit and then just get carried away one day and it would be a 'one off' (but it wasn't) and then I'd end up increasing again, getting 3 stress fractures was the best thing that could've happened as I was completely unable to walk for a while as my leg couldn't take any weight and then it was a long time before I could exercise properly so it really got me out of the habit

    it is a very hard one and unfortunately as it's so encouraged in society it is (in my opinion) one of the hardest things to deal with, but you can get to a stage where you're okay with exercise, it is nearly 5 years since I began my recovery journey and I'm finally in a place where I can cycle commute to work without worrying I'll get overly obsessed and when I have annual leave I just don't exercise much and that's okay too you just need to cut it out and start facing fears (e.g. dont get into the habit of only having difficult foods on workout days)
    I'm proud that you've come so far in the past year and I'm very envious of ability to cycle not obsessively.

    Unfortunately I have a very focused and obsessive personality which means that when I put my mind to something, it's very hard to un-focus myself. You're right about the media and exercise though, you're supposed to do 30mins a day. But I take this very literally! I do far more than 30mins and at a very vigorous pace but it's part of my daily life. I find it physically impossible not to go to the gym or running every day, I have to find time!! I literally have to find the time else I don't know, I'd have a guilty conscience or something.

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    I also think I've substituted purging for exercise abuse. I know that both are wrong but I feel like over-exercising isn't as bad as everyone exercises, it's a normal thing to do so I can trick my mind into thinking it's healthy and not obsessive


    I understand what you're saying about stopping completely but I'm captain of my netball team at uni, so it's important that I keep up with exercise! You can argue that if I keep going how I am that I won't be able to play at all but since I'm not at that stage yet, I'm not willing to give up exercise. I know I'm making excuses, but I think I need to control my exercising rather than cutting it out. It's part of who I am and I want to sign up for a half marathon in 2015! Targets like this give me a purpose, something to aim for and succeed at and it's something that I take complete control over and it's not up to anyone else and I want to prove that I can do it! Exercising gives me an excuse to eat properly and without it, I'll just end up restricting again. I feel like it's a lose-lose situation
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm proud that you've come so far in the past year and I'm very envious of ability to cycle not obsessively.

    Unfortunately I have a very focused and obsessive personality which means that when I put my mind to something, it's very hard to un-focus myself. You're right about the media and exercise though, you're supposed to do 30mins a day. But I take this very literally! I do far more than 30mins and at a very vigorous pace but it's part of my daily life. I find it physically impossible not to go to the gym or running every day, I have to find time!! I literally have to find the time else I don't know, I'd have a guilty conscience or something.

    I understand what you're saying about stopping completely but I'm captain of my netball team at uni, so it's important that I keep up with exercise! You can argue that if I keep going how I am that I won't be able to play at all but since I'm not at that stage yet, I'm not willing to give up exercise. I know I'm making excuses, but I think I need to control my exercising rather than cutting it out. It's part of who I am and I want to sign up for a half marathon in 2015! Targets like this give me a purpose, something to aim for and succeed at and it's something that I take complete control over and it's not up to anyone else and I want to prove that I can do it! Exercising gives me an excuse to eat properly and without it, I'll just end up restricting again. I feel like it's a lose-lose situation
    okay don't take this the wrong way, and I may be totally wrong in this but a lot of people (myself included) get into this way of thinking that they are 'special' either in their ability to manage their exercise and stay 'thin' AND healthy or in their inability to recover... I fully believe that there is NO difference between you and me 5 years ago, trust me I was very obsessive and focussed too, it comes with the eating disorder! it is VERY common to switch from one method of being disordered to another so what you've described isn't unusual at all, you're essentially compromising with your ED by agreeing to stay relatively well (Im sorry if you're not actually well, I think you've implied that you're not extremely physically ill at the moment) but still maintaining your sense of control and keeping your coping mechanisms

    I don't know whether or not it's possible to break the addiction without having a clean break as like I said, that wasn't my journey... what I would say is that compulsive and excessive exercise is not necessary for any sport, maybe make a goal to find out what your team mates do in terms of fitness and you can only do what the average person does (i.e. ask at least 5 people and take an average, make sure you don't just ask people you know play 2 other sports :P) and make it a rule that you HAVE to have 2 rest days a week minimum...I can't give you solid advice as A. I'm not a doctor and B. I don't know much about you, but I would say that I understand that having a long term commitment to a sport (I started running at 12 and didn't develop my ED til I was 15) means you will want to keep it up and keeping things in your life that mean something, make you happy and give you purpose is important in recovery... but you absolutely must be maintaining a reasonable body weight and calorie intake or you are putting yourself in danger

    I would suggest that maybe you try and incorporate a few challenges and changes, my suggestions would be firstly making sure that if you are exercising intensely for over 30 minutes a day you eat a minimum of 2500 cals if you're over BMI 20 and over 3000 if you haven't weight restored yet - or try and head towards that, increasing slowly or trying to increase the number of days a week you reach it... make 2 rest days a week (total rest, no 5 mile walks and yoga and not counting those things)... reduce to the amount of exercise your team mates do... try and take one whole week off, one week will not affect your fitness massively but if you can eat normally for one week you can prove to yourself that you dont need to be reliant - leave the half marathon for now and if you can stick to these reasonable guidelines for a few months then sign up for one, if you're pretty fit from netball you wont have to add in THAT much additional exercise to manage the half andit wont take you that long to train

    at the end of the day yeah you can probably keep doing this for a while, probably a hell of a long time if you keep your weight reasonable... but what sort of a life is this? I promise you you can actually be happy and relaxed about eating and exercising and everything else, wouldn't it be nice to be able to go on holiday, go out for the day, chill in bed all day with your boyfriend - without needing to fit that work out in? recovery isn't a dream, it's a reality, it's a tough one to reach but it's 100% worth taking the gamble, at the end of the day what I said to myself when I made my initial leap from my lowest point and when I again took a leap from somewhere that sounds like where you are was that you can ALWAYS go back, if you take the gamble, eat, relax and let life happen for 6-9 months and you're more unhappy you can go back, I never have though because once you commit to recovery, once you start living your life, enjoying your life your eating disorder just can't compare

    Im sorry for writing so much but I really do empathise with you, I too had a half marathon as a goal when recovering, unfortunately I overtrained so much that I got stress fractures in both legs by the time the race came about and was in total agony (I had a LOT of injuries due to the volume of running I was doing)
    • #75
    #75

    [QUOTE=doodle_333;49255999]okay don't take this the wrong way, and I may be totally wrong in this but a lot of people (myself included) get into this way of thinking that they are 'special' either in their ability to manage their exercise and stay 'thin' AND healthy or in their inability to recover... I fully believe that there is NO difference between you and me 5 years ago, trust me I was very obsessive and focussed too, it comes with the eating disorder! it is VERY common to switch from one method of being disordered to another so what you've described isn't unusual at all, you're essentially compromising with your ED by agreeing to stay relatively well (Im sorry if you're not actually well, I think you've implied that you're not extremely physically ill at the moment) but still maintaining your sense of control and keeping your coping mechanisms

    I don't know whether or not it's possible to break
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    [QUOTE=Anonymous;49263909]
    (Original post by doodle_333)
    okay don't take this the wrong way, and I may be totally wrong in this but a lot of people (myself included) get into this way of thinking that they are 'special' either in their ability to manage their exercise and stay 'thin' AND healthy or in their inability to recover... I fully believe that there is NO difference between you and me 5 years ago, trust me I was very obsessive and focussed too, it comes with the eating disorder! it is VERY common to switch from one method of being disordered to another so what you've described isn't unusual at all, you're essentially compromising with your ED by agreeing to stay relatively well (Im sorry if you're not actually well, I think you've implied that you're not extremely physically ill at the moment) but still maintaining your sense of control and keeping your coping mechanisms

    I don't know whether or not it's possible to break
    I dont understand Im sorry
    • #75
    #75

    (Original post by doodle_333)
    okay don't take this the wrong way, and I may be totally wrong in this but a lot of people (myself included) get into this way of thinking that they are 'special' either in their ability to manage their exercise and stay 'thin' AND healthy or in their inability to recover... I fully believe that there is NO difference between you and me 5 years ago, trust me I was very obsessive and focussed too, it comes with the eating disorder! it is VERY common to switch from one method of being disordered to another so what you've described isn't unusual at all, you're essentially compromising with your ED by agreeing to stay relatively well (Im sorry if you're not actually well, I think you've implied that you're not extremely physically ill at the moment) but still maintaining your sense of control and keeping your coping mechanisms

    I don't know whether or not it's possible to break the addiction without having a clean break as like I said, that wasn't my journey... what I would say is that compulsive and excessive exercise is not necessary for any sport, maybe make a goal to find out what your team mates do in terms of fitness and you can only do what the average person does (i.e. ask at least 5 people and take an average, make sure you don't just ask people you know play 2 other sports :P) and make it a rule that you HAVE to have 2 rest days a week minimum...I can't give you solid advice as A. I'm not a doctor and B. I don't know much about you, but I would say that I understand that having a long term commitment to a sport (I started running at 12 and didn't develop my ED til I was 15) means you will want to keep it up and keeping things in your life that mean something, make you happy and give you purpose is important in recovery... but you absolutely must be maintaining a reasonable body weight and calorie intake or you are putting yourself in danger

    I would suggest that maybe you try and incorporate a few challenges and changes, my suggestions would be firstly making sure that if you are exercising intensely for over 30 minutes a day you eat a minimum of 2500 cals if you're over BMI 20 and over 3000 if you haven't weight restored yet - or try and head towards that, increasing slowly or trying to increase the number of days a week you reach it... make 2 rest days a week (total rest, no 5 mile walks and yoga and not counting those things)... reduce to the amount of exercise your team mates do... try and take one whole week off, one week will not affect your fitness massively but if you can eat normally for one week you can prove to yourself that you dont need to be reliant - leave the half marathon for now and if you can stick to these reasonable guidelines for a few months then sign up for one, if you're pretty fit from netball you wont have to add in THAT much additional exercise to manage the half andit wont take you that long to train

    at the end of the day yeah you can probably keep doing this for a while, probably a hell of a long time if you keep your weight reasonable... but what sort of a life is this? I promise you you can actually be happy and relaxed about eating and exercising and everything else, wouldn't it be nice to be able to go on holiday, go out for the day, chill in bed all day with your boyfriend - without needing to fit that work out in? recovery isn't a dream, it's a reality, it's a tough one to reach but it's 100% worth taking the gamble, at the end of the day what I said to myself when I made my initial leap from my lowest point and when I again took a leap from somewhere that sounds like where you are was that you can ALWAYS go back, if you take the gamble, eat, relax and let life happen for 6-9 months and you're more unhappy you can go back, I never have though because once you commit to recovery, once you start living your life, enjoying your life your eating disorder just can't compare

    Im sorry for writing so much but I really do empathise with you, I too had a half marathon as a goal when recovering, unfortunately I overtrained so much that I got stress fractures in both legs by the time the race came about and was in total agony (I had a LOT of injuries due to the volume of running I was doing)
    You're spot on about everything that you just said. I just saw that I'm anonymous #75 and the most recent is #143 which shows just how long I've been posting on here and just how long I've been suffering and you're right, I can physically exercise and I'm no longer fainting so I am getting better. I think perhaps I'm slightly 'reluctant' to accept I am 'recovering'. I need to get back to my life before all of this (as much as possible) and in order to do that, I first have to sort myself out. The amount of exercise I do isn't normal and everything that you've said is so right!

    My BMI has recently gone into 'healthy' and it's just so hard to accept that soon I'll be normal. EDs are terrible things and I would never wish them upon anyone or even myself but I feel like I'm failing myself by being back in that 'healthy' category.

    Thank you very much, you've been really helpful and I really appreciate it! I wish you all the best in life <3
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You're spot on about everything that you just said. I just saw that I'm anonymous #75 and the most recent is #143 which shows just how long I've been posting on here and just how long I've been suffering and you're right, I can physically exercise and I'm no longer fainting so I am getting better. I think perhaps I'm slightly 'reluctant' to accept I am 'recovering'. I need to get back to my life before all of this (as much as possible) and in order to do that, I first have to sort myself out. The amount of exercise I do isn't normal and everything that you've said is so right!

    My BMI has recently gone into 'healthy' and it's just so hard to accept that soon I'll be normal. EDs are terrible things and I would never wish them upon anyone or even myself but I feel like I'm failing myself by being back in that 'healthy' category.

    Thank you very much, you've been really helpful and I really appreciate it! I wish you all the best in life <3
    one of the hardest parts is the time you spend looking 'healthy' but really not okay... my 'natural' BMI is more like 23 so I spent a long time really struggling at around 20 with everyone I knew assuming I was fine - you are a long way off normal, but you'll get there no one is ever 'ready' to recover, and one of the hardest parts is letting go when you feel like you could have just gone that bit further... but once you get your life back you are able to see you made the right choice
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    i have struggled with my body image and self esteem since i was about 9 or 10 years old. at 11 or 12 i started crash dieting - skipping meals, that kind of thing. when i was 15 i developed depression and at 16 my problems with anxiety bubbled over into the realm of a disorder. at 18 i started having panic attacks. at 19 my disordered eating truly took hold and my weight plummeted. not as low as other people, but enough to get it stuck in my head that that was all i was good at.

    this evening as i was making my non-diet galaxy hot chocolate i got to thinking - why do i have to keep telling myself that what i'm eating won't make me fat? why does it matter if i get fat? would i automatically turn into a horrible person? no, i wouldn't. i'd be the same old me, a little larger and probably a lot happier. i'd much rather be a fat, successful psychiatrist who helps people turn their own lives around, than a thin, dying medical school drop out who believed she could be both emaciated and top of her class.

    but alas, i will continue to have to reassure myself that i won't get fat. the BMI i have maintained at for the longest periods of my life is around 22, which is within the normal range. i run, i do yoga, i eat loads of fruit and veg. i am healthy physically, but not mentally. maybe one day i'll be able to wake up and get out of bed without having to ritualise checking my body to make sure i haven't blown up overnight, won't have to decide between chips and bread, won't have to awkwardly check the nutrition information of a chocolate bar. isn't that what we're all hoping for? a normal life?
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    (Original post by Team_McDreamy)
    i have struggled with my body image and self esteem since i was about 9 or 10 years old. at 11 or 12 i started crash dieting - skipping meals, that kind of thing. when i was 15 i developed depression and at 16 my problems with anxiety bubbled over into the realm of a disorder. at 18 i started having panic attacks. at 19 my disordered eating truly took hold and my weight plummeted. not as low as other people, but enough to get it stuck in my head that that was all i was good at.

    this evening as i was making my non-diet galaxy hot chocolate i got to thinking - why do i have to keep telling myself that what i'm eating won't make me fat? why does it matter if i get fat? would i automatically turn into a horrible person? no, i wouldn't. i'd be the same old me, a little larger and probably a lot happier. i'd much rather be a fat, successful psychiatrist who helps people turn their own lives around, than a thin, dying medical school drop out who believed she could be both emaciated and top of her class.

    but alas, i will continue to have to reassure myself that i won't get fat. the BMI i have maintained at for the longest periods of my life is around 22, which is within the normal range. i run, i do yoga, i eat loads of fruit and veg. i am healthy physically, but not mentally. maybe one day i'll be able to wake up and get out of bed without having to ritualise checking my body to make sure i haven't blown up overnight, won't have to decide between chips and bread, won't have to awkwardly check the nutrition information of a chocolate bar. isn't that what we're all hoping for? a normal life?
    Oh my gosh, I don't think I have ever been able to relate to a post as much as this!!!

    I have never had an official diagnosis of an eating disorder, and my weight has never been dangerously low... but eating and food worries have taken over my life for much longer than I care to think about (I first realised that I had issues around year 9 - I am now 21 and have just graduated)!

    I would give anything to just eat something because I fancy it - I have a housemate who does this every single day and I watch her with envy and its enough to make me cry. I want to not analyse every label, I want to be able to eat at work rather than scuttle off and hide on my breaks or just not bother eating until I get home because it's 'easier (seriously, how is not eating the easy option - thats wrong).

    However, I say all this but I can't see how to change. Right now I'm struggling, my mood is sinking again since I've stopped taking meds, my anxiety is slowly gripping again, and I have no support network to discuss my eating habits because I have never told a single person 'in real life' about the fact that its a problem.

    Basically, I'm waffling, I can't offer any specific advice because I'm in the same situation - but just know that I'm here if you wanna chat - and I fully believe you can beat this and lead a normal, happy life

    xxx
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    (Original post by jft18)
    Oh my gosh, I don't think I have ever been able to relate to a post as much as this!!!

    I have never had an official diagnosis of an eating disorder, and my weight has never been dangerously low... but eating and food worries have taken over my life for much longer than I care to think about (I first realised that I had issues around year 9 - I am now 21 and have just graduated)!

    I would give anything to just eat something because I fancy it - I have a housemate who does this every single day and I watch her with envy and its enough to make me cry. I want to not analyse every label, I want to be able to eat at work rather than scuttle off and hide on my breaks or just not bother eating until I get home because it's 'easier (seriously, how is not eating the easy option - thats wrong).

    However, I say all this but I can't see how to change. Right now I'm struggling, my mood is sinking again since I've stopped taking meds, my anxiety is slowly gripping again, and I have no support network to discuss my eating habits because I have never told a single person 'in real life' about the fact that its a problem.

    Basically, I'm waffling, I can't offer any specific advice because I'm in the same situation - but just know that I'm here if you wanna chat - and I fully believe you can beat this and lead a normal, happy life

    xxx
    :hugs:

    it really sucks, doesn't it? i've made so much progress since this time last year, and I'm not saying this to rub it in - i'm saying this so that you know its possible. its not easy, but i believe in you. like you, i do not have a diagnosis of an eating disorder, and my head hasn't quite accepted that i have an eating disorder in the first place. first off i'd recommend you tell somebody about it - to begin with, it was just a close friend, then my personal tutor, then my counsellor and finally a doctor. it helps, please try and tell someone? secondly, if you're struggling off meds, tell your doc, they'll be able to recommend something - therapy, different meds or even just starting the same meds, but whatever happens, you shouldn't be struggling alone hun. now when it comes to eating - take baby steps, don't try and plunge yourself into a full roast or a big mac or a giant bar of chocolate. have a soya latte instead of a skinny one. have a juice instead of water. baby steps, all progress is good progress. i believe in you, sweetie, you can break through this and get the life you deserve
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    Anyone else really cold when they dont eat properly?

    Really worried my eating is making me cold, ruining my motivation and concentration and destroying me slowly


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    (Original post by Team_McDreamy)
    :hugs:

    it really sucks, doesn't it? i've made so much progress since this time last year, and I'm not saying this to rub it in - i'm saying this so that you know its possible. its not easy, but i believe in you. like you, i do not have a diagnosis of an eating disorder, and my head hasn't quite accepted that i have an eating disorder in the first place. first off i'd recommend you tell somebody about it - to begin with, it was just a close friend, then my personal tutor, then my counsellor and finally a doctor. it helps, please try and tell someone? secondly, if you're struggling off meds, tell your doc, they'll be able to recommend something - therapy, different meds or even just starting the same meds, but whatever happens, you shouldn't be struggling alone hun. now when it comes to eating - take baby steps, don't try and plunge yourself into a full roast or a big mac or a giant bar of chocolate. have a soya latte instead of a skinny one. have a juice instead of water. baby steps, all progress is good progress. i believe in you, sweetie, you can break through this and get the life you deserve
    It really does suck
    I'm so happy that you've made progress - very proud!
    I know you'll probably be able to relate to this - but I am a healthy size, I got through uni and I'm holding down a job... I'm not 'ill' so I would feel ridiculous telling somebody! I hate myself for saying this because I'm a massive hypocrite and I would be urging anybody else to speak out, but I know I wouldnt be able to myself.
    You're definitely right about sorting my meds out though... I kinda stopped taking them because I accidentally missed a gp appointment and then couldn't bring myself to book another one (stupid really - my anxiety and depression are getting worse so i stop seeking help... ffs brain!) and she's already annoyed with me for not contacting the mental health team when my referral came through so i got discharged. Gonna have to just suck it up and go see her though, I can't cope with my depression spiralling out of control again.
    Thanks for the advice re. food, will try changing tiny things at a time - hopefully then I won't feel too overwhelmed!
    :hugs:

    (Original post by PandaWho)
    Anyone else really cold when they dont eat properly?

    Really worried my eating is making me cold, ruining my motivation and concentration and destroying me slowly


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    YES! I guess it's just your metabolism slowing down :/
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    feel like an idiot. think ive relapsed. purging behaviour is back. ED thoughts are sort of scaring me. I cant be ****ed with all this **** right now
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    I relapsed HARD the past few months. I'm at a lower weight than I've ever been but enough is enough. Seriously. I'm 23, got my Masters degree and my friends are all happy and engaged or having babies or moving out and I'm stuck in this child's body. I'm done with this. Done.
    I want to be healthy.
    I know recovery is going to be so hard if I want to do it properly but I'm ready to fight harder than I ever have before. I have a very caring, loving partner but need some advice...do I open up to him and explain that I'm dealing with this? I hate carrying this secret around with me. I feel so alone in recovery. I know my moods will be hell and don't want to ruin things with him or think that he's caused it...anyone got any advice on opening up to partners?
    My last long-term relationship was with someone extremely selfish and immature and he dumped me straight after for "being a handful" despite not actually doing anything wrong. I'd supported him every step of the way when he'd got diagnosed with diabetes (I'm diabetic too) but he wouldn't support me in any way.
    I know my current partner is nothing like him at all, he's so loving, but I'm so so scared of telling him. Should I say something or keep it quiet?
    Hope everyone is doing okay! xx
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    (Original post by x-Disenchanted-x)
    I relapsed HARD the past few months. I'm at a lower weight than I've ever been but enough is enough. Seriously. I'm 23, got my Masters degree and my friends are all happy and engaged or having babies or moving out and I'm stuck in this child's body. I'm done with this. Done.
    I want to be healthy.
    I know recovery is going to be so hard if I want to do it properly but I'm ready to fight harder than I ever have before. I have a very caring, loving partner but need some advice...do I open up to him and explain that I'm dealing with this? I hate carrying this secret around with me. I feel so alone in recovery. I know my moods will be hell and don't want to ruin things with him or think that he's caused it...anyone got any advice on opening up to partners?
    My last long-term relationship was with someone extremely selfish and immature and he dumped me straight after for "being a handful" despite not actually doing anything wrong. I'd supported him every step of the way when he'd got diagnosed with diabetes (I'm diabetic too) but he wouldn't support me in any way.
    I know my current partner is nothing like him at all, he's so loving, but I'm so so scared of telling him. Should I say something or keep it quiet?
    Hope everyone is doing okay! xx
    I would say that if you need to share what you're going through, do it. Tell your partner. Sometimes you need a support network when you're trying to recover -- it's so hard to do it alone. I think the best thing to do is to just be honest. Forget about what your ex did because he sounds like a royal idiot. x
 
 
 
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