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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by Liv1204)
    Feel free to talk about it, I don't tend to get triggered anyway besides by myself! But it's up to you.

    My Christmas was up and down. Started off lovely, ended up horribly, but hey ho. Weight-wise has been pretty bad, but the last couple of days I've done better at sticking to my meal plan so that's positive at least.
    If you're sure…

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    Although I'm enjoying time with family and off work (OK, sick leave and on benefits to be more accurate) I feel uncomfortable with the sheer amount of chocolate I've been given as presents. I don't know why family did it but I can only assume they now see addiction/anxiety/depression/obsessive-intrusive thoughts/sleep problems etc. as my main symptoms rather than disordered eating.

    I'm not at risk of any significantly ED behaviours, I'm still going to eat my 3 meals and whatever, but all the choc is tapping into my body image/physique as mentioned in my last post to you, my hypochondria and the fear one day I'm going to binge when stressed. I very rarely calorie count but I did so on Boxing Day to get an idea of how much I need to go through, without sharing the number I worked out that it'd take 6 weeks to get through at a healthy pace, and I'd have to share them with Dad too.

    I'm also feeling stressed by the fact my ex came back into my life, I mentioned throughout the forum that we broke up because I'm Christian/agnostic and she's Hindu and her Strict Asian Parents/culture, but I also got jealous of her guy friend 'Superman' who I thought was an alpha male, she had feelings for etc,. I still have no closure on that in fact I read a lot of 'become an alpha male' PUA sites such as Redpill which have started making me generally bitter to girls my age and young women in general :/

    Specifically she broke No Contact a month ago during her coursework season because she has depression and needed a friend to talk to; I said I'd be there but still had feelings for her and might have to pull out if it got too much. At the time she was saying 'miss you so much' 'can't wait to see you' etc., she also said she loved me for my personality not just my body (even though I was good-looking she said). However I think I upset her by bringing up the past when we met; she ignored me for a week and when I texted to check she was OK she lashed out at me saying she never wanted to date, it was all for me she just wanted to help me out of my rut etc. I can tell you she was infatuated with me in high school and when we first met again in Uni. She then started saying maybe it's best I let go of her because she doesn't want to make things worse for me, but I do want to be friends/have her in my life. So she said 'yeah maybe we could meet up soon and just not talk about problems at all, like old times'-but she never gets in touch first, except when she texted me happy birthday a day late, and every time I try and talk she says 'sorry busy coursework/exams, I'll be free soon'. Always soon.

    I directly told her on the 23rd that I'd got her a Christmas present if she wanted to meet up, she ignored that text; I didn't hear from her until I wished her happy Christmas, which she responded to. Maybe she IS really busy with third year, but I feel led on. I even saw her come off the bus by her house on Christmas Eve from town when I was on my way somewhere (her house is en route I'm not stalking ). So it's not like she didn't get the text. Worst case scenario she saw Superman but I do think she is telling the truth about her cultural background, Superman is just a friend.

    Finally she made out she was really in suffering and didn't ant me to hurt like she did, 'sometimes I just want to hug you and cry my heart out but I never could so I cry alone' that kind of really depressive thing but I think I said something wrong, she said 'You don't understand me. That's always hurt me' and I had to apologise for difficulty reading body language (possible Dyspraxic maybe 'aspie' thing). Well from that she got the wrong end of the stick, thinks I'm autistic and has since been very emotionally black and white in responses.

    It's really messy, and…if ever again I do see her I don't want to be fat, lol.


    Sorry to hear Christmas has gone downhill quickly…it perked up once it can do again!
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    x
    Well, can certainly relate to the feeling uncomfortable with being given lots of chocolate as presents. I got a small amount from my dad which I am comfortable with, but a massive box from a family member which gives me a lot of anxiety because a) the size makes me feel a bit overwhelmed and b) it's a type of chocolate that really scares me. Try not to think too much about why people give it - in all honesty, I think sometimes it just doesn't occur to them that it might make someone uncomfortable, it's just an 'easy' Christmas present to give someone, majority of people enjoy it, it's just that with EDs we don't let ourselves 'just enjoy it' as most people would!

    Think of it as just lasting a good while. Even if there's loads of it, that's fine, you can have some as and when you want it, it doesn't all need to be eaten at once and there's no deadline. If it helps the fear of binging portioning them out like you said can be helpful, but don't let it be too rigid. It's ok to have a couple every now and then, or it's ok to have a bigger amount if you want it sometimes.

    Can't offer much useful advice re. the ex situation I'm afraid, but don't let yourself get back into reading the 'alpha male' stuff and overthinking it. Whether or not she had feelings for this guy, being an 'alpha male' is irrelevant. It does sound like a break from seeing her for a while might be beneficial, it's difficult to transition from a relationship to a friendship, especially when it feels like one person is doing all the work. Give yourself a break though. Just because this girl isn't right for you doesn't mean you're not good enough as a guy, it just means...she's not the 'right' person for you, someone else is.

    --

    I have ED appointment tomorrow so weigh-in. Not looking forward to that. But I have done well today I think.
    • #168
    #168

    (Original post by Liv1204)
    Have you got a support team that you can talk to at the moment? It does sound like you could really do with some help at the moment, especially if you're at the point where you've passed out. Please try to look after yourself. x

    ---

    I was discharged from inpatient on 19th September, after 5 months and 9 days. I actually had a few really bad weeks before being discharged (the end of August is a bit of a difficult time of year), but I'm doing ok-ish at the moment. I haven't reached my target weight, and I have lost a little bit since discharge, but it is pretty much stable at the moment and it's so nice to be home and doing my MSc again.

    I'm struggling quite a bit with obsessing about calories and feeling guilty for eating way too much if I stick to my meal plan at the moment though, I end up reducing portion sizes and reducing amounts of carbs and fats in meals so I feel 'safer'. Does anyone have anything they find helpful for that?
    No, no support team. I actually decided to tell her because I was sick of this disordered eating stuff and she's questioned me about it before. I feel so isolated with it. I've been engaging in disordered eating since I was about 10 years old (could have been younger, but I blocked most of my childhood out), I'm 20 now. I was willing to go and speak to someone about it, like someone professional. I just wanted some support from her? I didn't want to do it on my own, seemed too scary. I thought she would understand. I don't now, maybe it's all in my head. Maybe everything is actually fine and I'm just over reacting. I have been to see my GP recently about some trauma-related stuff (going to get referred to a psychiatrist in the new year after I make another appointment with my GP :erm:), and I didn't bring this up because I guess I feel like it's not a valid concern. My weight is at the lower end of "normal", so I must be fine. I don't now what to do anymore. I'm just wasting everyone's time.

    Sorry, this is such a late reply, I hope you're doing okay. Thank you for letting me rant, if you need to talk I am here. :hugs:
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    I'm in sixth form now but when I was in Year 10 I had bulimia. It was such a hell because I would eat so much within a short space of time then throw it back up again. I haven't had bulimia for well over a year now
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    Anyone have any advice on how to approach my doctor about trying to lose weight?

    Since being put on medication for depression and anxiety, I've gained 30lbs, and it's quite upset me. I've not had many problems with my eating behaviour since I was 16, and I'm now 21, but a week ago I started heavily restricting and had a purging episode. This was after seeing my doctor about my weight gain. Despite my explaining my history, he advised me to 'buy a calorie counting book' and that I looked okay but to stop taking antidepressants and to stop eating junk food because they will make me fat... Found this quite triggering, especially after being home for christmas and facing lots of comments from my mother on my weight an appearance, including a suggestion that we have a weight loss competition.

    I really like this doctor generally, and think I maybe just didn't communicate that I've had eating issues in the past. I'm seeing him again tomorrow. Any advice?
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    (Original post by MolluscBaby)
    Since being put on medication for depression and anxiety, I've gained 30lbs, and it's quite upset me. I've not had many problems with my eating behaviour since I was 16, and I'm now 21, but a week ago I started heavily restricting and had a purging episode. This was after seeing my doctor about my weight gain. Despite my explaining my history, he advised me to 'buy a calorie counting book' and that I looked okay but to stop taking antidepressants and to stop eating junk food because they will make me fat... Found this quite triggering, especially after being home for christmas and facing lots of comments from my mother on my weight an appearance, including a suggestion that we have a weight loss competition.

    I really like this doctor generally, and think I maybe just didn't communicate that I've had eating issues in the past. I'm seeing him again tomorrow. Any advice?
    I don't have any experience of this I'm afraid, but I would really recommend letting your doctor know about the restricting and purging episode and those disordered thoughts, and asking for help from that side of things, so that if necessary they can help you to lose weight in a safe way. Good luck.

    Does anyone have any experience of using Olanzapine to help with anorexia? I'm really put off by it just because of the type of drug it is, and because there are studies which have cited weight gain as a side effect, although I know a few people from inpatient were on it. My ED worker has asked me to think about it this week because it can help with rigidity of thoughts, she said it wouldn't have to be permanent but that it might help to avoid an admission.

    She talked to me in my session this morning about if I feel an admission would be helpful, as a 'kickstart' if I can't turn things around. Talked about when it becomes necessary, how some people do go in voluntarily for a short time just to help stabilise weight. I don't like the idea of it, and all in honesty, I don't feel a short admission would do much for me. But hopefully it won't come to that anyway.
    • #226
    #226

    I'm not sure if this is even the right place to turn to as I don't suffer with an eating disorder myself but, I'm currently having to watch my sister suffer through anorexia. The thing is, she's in complete denial about the whole situation despite the fact that she's become unbelievably thin. The whole family is completely supportive of her, but any time we offer help she puts her barriers up. As a sister it's getting hard to watch so I was just wondering if anyone had some advice as to what helped them through it? Thanks for anything x
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    Hope everybody had a good Christmas. Sorry I've been absent from this thread for so long! Here's to a great 2015.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure if this is even the right place to turn to as I don't suffer with an eating disorder myself but, I'm currently having to watch my sister suffer through anorexia. The thing is, she's in complete denial about the whole situation despite the fact that she's become unbelievably thin. The whole family is completely supportive of her, but any time we offer help she puts her barriers up. As a sister it's getting hard to watch so I was just wondering if anyone had some advice as to what helped them through it? Thanks for anything x
    Make her feel loved x
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    hey guys, hope everyone's well I just received a personal rep, it sounded quite ED related…PM me if it was you! :hugs: to all, stay strong
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    Can anyone offer advice to someone who is a 'recovered' anorexic and struggles with catered halls? In the first term I barely turned up and have not made many friends which is making it hard for me.

    Thank you
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    Apologies for my long absence.

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    I basically found myself falling for a guy who turned out to be emotionally abusive and played on my mental health problems really badly. He was controlling and obsessive. He knew I used to be anorexic yet he used to force feed me. For example, I hate fish/shellfish, always have (even has a child so way before my ED) and he basically got so angry at me for not obliging to try his fish dish...to the point that I had to give in as we were in public and he was causing a scene. Safe to say I was sick immediately after and the rest of the meal was ruined, but he was happy as larry. I dumped him a couple of weeks after that because the relationship just got toxic.



    New year's resolution? To check this thread daily! I also recently celebrated my 4th anniversary of being recovered from my ED. Feel free to message me, I am always here for you xx
    • #224
    #224

    Recovering, supposedly, but struggling. I’m a recently diagnosed restrictive anorexic.

    This is my first time not posting anonymously on here, I’ve been assessed by a senior mental health person (nurse, idk?)- but even though I get that I need to put on weight, and I’m disillusioned to my small weight, I just feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.

    My boyfriend is helping me, telling me that I have to eat his food if I don’t get my own (makes me feel awful but kind of works)- I just can’t get my calorie intake up, or persuade myself to reach anywhere near 2000.

    Any advice from someone who’s been there?
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    Just posted anonymously, that failed
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    I'm an ex-anorexic and an ex-bulimic. I was discharged from mental health services in December 2010 after an eleven-year struggle with disordered eating. The four years since discharge have had their ups and downs (significant ups and significant downs - I gained twelve kilos and then lost twenty) but I've mostly been OK. Lately though I feel that I'm slipping, partly due to the stress of the PhD, and I need somewhere to talk.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Recovering, supposedly, but struggling. I’m a recently diagnosed restrictive anorexic.

    This is my first time not posting anonymously on here, I’ve been assessed by a senior mental health person (nurse, idk?)- but even though I get that I need to put on weight, and I’m disillusioned to my small weight, I just feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.

    My boyfriend is helping me, telling me that I have to eat his food if I don’t get my own (makes me feel awful but kind of works)- I just can’t get my calorie intake up, or persuade myself to reach anywhere near 2000.

    Any advice from someone who’s been there?
    I have been there and for me getting out was not so much connected to upping my calorie intake, but by dealing with all the things that made me want to starve myself in the first place. For most people with EDs, food is just the surface issue. Underneath it's something else.

    I tend to restrict when I feel out of control of everything and I want reassurance that there's one thing I'm good at, one thing that never fails. So long as I was seeing it as a coping strategy and a positive thing, I couldn't stop it, even when I knew I had to. Are you getting any kind of therapy for your ED?

    I also found that it helped to be given 'permission' to eat - I would sometimes phone my best friend in tears because I hadn't eaten and I was too frightened to try, usually after I'd spent about two hours staring at products in the supermarket that I didn't dare to get, and he would choose for me. That helped me in the early stages of recovery, until I could take more responsibility for myself.
    • #168
    #168

    Can I message someone? :/ I have some questions.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can I message someone? :/ I have some questions.
    Might be worth saying what your issues are around as different people have knowledge of different illnesses or services available and stuff


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    • #89
    #89

    I'm not sure where to turn really.... I have bulimia which comes in episodes, usually kicking off with a January 'diet' which lasts a few days before descending into regular restricting, bingeing and purging. The only thing is, every year I put on more weight after spending half the year trying to lose it all.

    I really want to be skinny but I also really want to be happy, and those two things just don't seem to come together.

    I went to see a counsellor today and have 6 sessions lined up but I already feel like it's going to be useless because I don't think she understands, or will be able to understand my dilemma or ongoing desire to be skinny.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure where to turn really.... I have bulimia which comes in episodes, usually kicking off with a January 'diet' which lasts a few days before descending into regular restricting, bingeing and purging. The only thing is, every year I put on more weight after spending half the year trying to lose it all.

    I really want to be skinny but I also really want to be happy, and those two things just don't seem to come together.

    I went to see a counsellor today and have 6 sessions lined up but I already feel like it's going to be useless because I don't think she understands, or will be able to understand my dilemma or ongoing desire to be skinny.
    Sounds exactly like what I went through. If you want to talk feel free to message :console:
 
 
 
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