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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by squiff93)
    its just weird to end on point number two its weird i can't do it, feels wrong...

    and i don't feel bright i feel stupid, if i was bright i would have spent the whole of today revising instead of being sick and then just feeling **** about it feeling guilty and hurting myself ....

    i'm just going to **** up all my chances tomorrow because i'm first going to fail english then maths, the idea of eating tomorrow seems so out of the question i'm going to have like no energy and do the whole writing stuff that doesn't make sense and writing things i don't mean, putting words in the wrong order and writing the same word like 3 times in a row .....
    but i promise you hun it's not your fault WHATSOEVER and it does not make you stupid at all. what is stupid is the act yes but you're not i promise. do you think even the smartest person in the world doesnt have issues? we all have them it doesn't mean youre stupid it just means youre a bit ill but you can pull through it. are you in year 11? or 12? if you cant eat at least have some coffee or an energy drink to give you energy for the exam you need it we all did/do when studying in order to maximise our brains !!!!!!!!! honestly no im the opposite in that i have to eat in order to feel like il pass an exam even though ive not sat an exam for almost a year i think il be the same come september.
    you know how its going to effect you so i thknk you should eat something:hugs: you already know the negative effects of not eating anything so eat something i promise you it wont kill nor will it make you in any way different in size:hugs: xxxxxxxxx
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    I must admit that I am finding this thread really upsetting to read, I'm near to tears.I would so love to be able to help each and every one of you, but I cant.I cannot even say that I have any experience of what you are all going through, because I havent.One thing I have noticed is that when someone posts and says that they are fat then someone else will say they arent.Isnt it weird how you can see that they arent fat and yet you cannot see it in yourself?.I know that is part of the ED, but its really upsetting for someone on the outside looking in
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Crap school layout!
    I think it's really weird when you look back and try to trace it. I think I've always had disordered eating/ED behaviours and far far too many awful experiences with food for someone who never liked eating in the first place but I was functional (well, ignoring the depressive staying in bed months) and it never actually turned into a full ED until I went to this really academic college where everyone else seemed to do well and I was determined to do just as well but ended up making myself even more ill by studying too hard and not really dealing with my depression.
    I'm too tired to revise and I either need to have a nap or drink my coke. I haven't slept properly for 2 days so I think it needs to be a nap but coke's so tasty... think it's gonna be another late night/early morning tonight.
    :hugs: How many exams do you have left after English?
    I keep watching the video in my sig to make myself laugh and take my mind off exams. After tomorrow I only have one more exam left! And I can afford to semi flop Psychology- I'll try not to though, I want an A* because it will get on my nerves that I've got over 90% for each exam and then not the last one. I haven't even looked at Psychology because of RS so I'm going to have to cram it all in 5 days- at least it's not a day like RS! Oh God, my eyes are burning and glazing over at the same time. Half an hour nap it is. Or maybe I should try and stay awake? I don't know!

    I think it's pretty good that our posts are more exams than ED stuff! As stressful as this is, it's sort of refreshing...
    Ohh same, I haven't slept properly since my first exam last Friday... probably why I'm so bloody whiny today! A nap is definitely a good plan, I want to sleep for 24 hours tbh but that might clash with English a tiny bit...

    Psychology will be a relief then! That is exciting. English is my last one so tomorrow will be lovely. But right now my head is just mental
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    (Original post by NotSoCool.Fly)
    but i promise you hun it's not your fault WHATSOEVER and it does not make you stupid at all. what is stupid is the act yes but you're not i promise. do you think even the smartest person in the world doesnt have issues? we all have them it doesn't mean youre stupid it just means youre a bit ill but you can pull through it. are you in year 11? or 12? if you cant eat at least have some coffee or an energy drink to give you energy for the exam you need it we all did/do when studying in order to maximise our brains !!!!!!!!! honestly no im the opposite in that i have to eat in order to feel like il pass an exam even though ive not sat an exam for almost a year i think il be the same come september.
    you know how its going to effect you so i thknk you should eat something:hugs: you already know the negative effects of not eating anything so eat something i promise you it wont kill nor will it make you in any way different in size:hugs: xxxxxxxxx
    year 13 and yeah i'll probs stick to black coffee,

    and yeah i used to always make sure i had porridge before an exam it was like an exception and on the day of an exam i was allowed, but i know that if i did that now then my mind wouldn't stop thinking about the 'porridge' and i wouldn't actually be able to think about the test....

    ****KKKKKKKKKK just trying to think of ways to not go to this exam, i almost burst into tears in front of my mum earlier and i don't even know why

    keep considering overdosing but i know that i'd probably still end up sitting the exam i'd just do EVEN worse than i'm already going to do.
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    well uni is not that away at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    omg do not overdose. you have come so far already im sure you got good grades last year
    stop beating yourself up please. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Annie72)
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    I must admit that I am finding this thread really upsetting to read, I'm near to tears.I would so love to be able to help each and every one of you, but I cant.I cannot even say that I have any experience of what you are all going through, because I havent.One thing I have noticed is that when someone posts and says that they are fat then someone else will say they arent.Isnt it weird how you can see that they arent fat and yet you cannot see it in yourself?.I know that is part of the ED, but its really upsetting for someone on the outside looking in

    some people genuinely won't be fat; i for one am tbh im not remotely underweight but some will be and still have body dysmorphia thinking theyre fat youre right
    it's so nice to know you care so much annie hun :hugs:
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    (Original post by NotSoCool.Fly)
    well uni is not that away at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    omg do not overdose. you have come so far already im sure you got good grades last year
    stop beating yourself up please. :hugs:
    i didn't do well at all last year compared to my GCSEs i know that AS is harder but i was eating 3 pots of babyfood a day last year and not functioning awfully well :/
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    thats so sad to hear but still im sure with hard work itll pay off and remember everything happens for a reason ive hit rock bottom but im hopefully slowly but surely climbing my way back up i promise you no matter how low it gets there is some light :hugs:
    please at least know there are people here for you
    also join the depression society theyre very supportive in there and will help you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    (Original post by Annie72)
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    I must admit that I am finding this thread really upsetting to read, I'm near to tears.I would so love to be able to help each and every one of you, but I cant.I cannot even say that I have any experience of what you are all going through, because I havent.One thing I have noticed is that when someone posts and says that they are fat then someone else will say they arent.Isnt it weird how you can see that they arent fat and yet you cannot see it in yourself?.I know that is part of the ED, but its really upsetting for someone on the outside looking in
    yeah its nice to know that not everyone is judgemental and some people actually do understand its not a choice and stuff even without going through it themselves

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    as for the fat thing, i am fat because bmi is stupid and doesn't take into account that i'm short and stumpy and that if i ate anymore than 500 calories a day i would expand and get HUGE but because i'm a weak person sometimes i do which means i have to throw up and throw up untill its all gone.
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    (Original post by NotSoCool.Fly)
    thats so sad to hear but still im sure with hard work itll pay off and remember everything happens for a reason ive hit rock bottom but im hopefully slowly but surely climbing my way back up i promise you no matter how low it gets there is some light :hugs:
    please at least know there are people here for you
    also join the depression society theyre very supportive in there and will help you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    yeah i hate admitting to having these problems, like eventhough i had therapy and have been told by doctors friends and teachers its still a big thing to admit because it feels like once you actually say it you can't take it back
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    I had an eating disorder but it was more to do with a drinking problem.
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    its just weird to end on point number two its weird i can't do it, feels wrong...

    and i don't feel bright i feel stupid, if i was bright i would have spent the whole of today revising instead of being sick and then just feeling **** about it feeling guilty and hurting myself ....

    i'm just going to **** up all my chances tomorrow because i'm first going to fail english then maths, the idea of eating tomorrow seems so out of the question i'm going to have like no energy and do the whole writing stuff that doesn't make sense and writing things i don't mean, putting words in the wrong order and writing the same word like 3 times in a row .....
    Can't you stretch to just eating something tomorrow? I had an english exam last week and was so out of energy but my english meant more than food- I knew I could compensate at another time but I didnt want to have to re-do english. Just try eat- u may hate it but at least u wont have to eat afterwards? Good luck! (P.S. I know it is easier said than done but it is deff worth it!!!)
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    Hi guys,
    I haven't read through this whole thread coz it's so long but was relieved to find such a down to earth realistic thread about eating disorders.

    I've had anorexia since i was 15 so 4 years now, i can't believe it's been so long, i mean i've been in and out of treatment but that's how long me "demons" have been there.

    To cut a long story short I always felt fat and became a very high achiever academically and eventually go fed up with hating my body. I also had lost weight during puberty and felt so much better so thought i would lose more to feel even better, but i never stopped and things got worse.

    I was reading some of your descriptions on how numbers rule your lives and realise that even though i thought i was coping much better, i'm still very much in the grip of anorexias commands. I weigh everything excessively, including myself! I admire your strength, especially the person who started this thread. I just think you seem a really warm person.

    I'm starting uni inseptember and although i will relish the freedom part of me is scared i could get very ill, as i'm currently balancing my weight on a knife edge (not too far above needing intensive treatment). Any ideas for uni would be appreciated x
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    (Original post by Sugarcandy)
    Can't you stretch to just eating something tomorrow? I had an english exam last week and was so out of energy but my english meant more than food- I knew I could compensate at another time but I didnt want to have to re-do english. Just try eat- u may hate it but at least u wont have to eat afterwards? Good luck! (P.S. I know it is easier said than done but it is deff worth it!!!)
    i don't know i was considering taking omega 3 tablets for the placebo effect, i'm so scared of eating, because then i might be sick and then ill feel so **** through both exams there is also NO point at all in me turning up to the maths exam
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    I know this is slightly off topic, but does anyone know what the BMI range is for someone aged 15?
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    (Original post by Sugarcandy)
    I know this is slightly off topic, but does anyone know what the BMI range is for someone aged 15?
    i thought that the bmi range was the same for all ages ?
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    (Original post by squiff93)

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    as for the fat thing, i am fat because bmi is stupid and doesn't take into account that i'm short and stumpy and that if i ate anymore than 500 calories a day i would expand and get HUGE but because i'm a weak person sometimes i do which means i have to throw up and throw up untill its all gone.
    Oh, :hugs: - please don't think this. You're not weak, but you're fighting an uphill battle; the higher your ED climbs, the more slippery the slope gets and the further you have to fall. Do you know what that makes you? Strong. Strong, because you’re having to fight something that’s constantly at your mind. Strong, because you’re going against something you previously adhered to.

    Ignore BMI. Fundamentally it's inaccurate due to how it doesn't factor in muscle to fat ratio, body fat percentage and bone structure etc. You are not fat. And eating 500 calories + a day would not make you fat. It's a hard thing to accept - but it's the truth. Please don't think like this - overdosing and not eating - they are not the answer. Go into that exam with a clear head: eat something small beforehand so you have enough energy, but something small enough that you are not constantly worrying over it (porridge is stodgy, perhaps this is why you get so anxious? Something light might be better - a quick granola bar or something). You will do well in this exam; you've been working hard and it's less a matter of revising at this point in time, by all means revise, but don't beat yourself up if you feel you’re not up to it. You probably already know a lot of the content (more than you realise), it's just a matter of not panicking too much in the exam and keeping a cool head.

    :hugs: :penguinhug: :jumphug: I'm sure you'll be okay, and I wish you the best of luck - for everything.
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    (Original post by harri_d92)
    Hi guys,
    I haven't read through this whole thread coz it's so long but was relieved to find such a down to earth realistic thread about eating disorders.

    I've had anorexia since i was 15 so 4 years now, i can't believe it's been so long, i mean i've been in and out of treatment but that's how long me "demons" have been there.

    To cut a long story short I always felt fat and became a very high achiever academically and eventually go fed up with hating my body. I also had lost weight during puberty and felt so much better so thought i would lose more to feel even better, but i never stopped and things got worse.

    I was reading some of your descriptions on how numbers rule your lives and realise that even though i thought i was coping much better, i'm still very much in the grip of anorexias commands. I weigh everything excessively, including myself! I admire your strength, especially the person who started this thread. I just think you seem a really warm person.

    I'm starting uni inseptember and although i will relish the freedom part of me is scared i could get very ill, as i'm currently balancing my weight on a knife edge (not too far above needing intensive treatment). Any ideas for uni would be appreciated x
    Have you had therapy? I am in much the same position as you- have suffered from anorexia for the last 3 years and have been through about 10 psychologists- every time I said 'never again' yet every time someone managed to persuade me to go back and I am glad they did because, otherwise, you are alone in this battle. However bad I thought the other 10 were, I realise it was probably me- they cant all have been bad- my ED was telling me they were bad! I know it is easier said than done but you really need to find someone who trusts you. This forum is great- I just joined as well and have found it really refreshing to know that (unfortunately) there are people like me who are going through exactly what I am going through but we aren't as good as the experts. I always told myself I knew better but it isn't true. You sound like you are at a really dangerous spot and recovery is vital especially at such a crucial moment in your life- uni means exams and these exams will count for the rest of your life. If you are not eating, as I am sure you know by now and don't need me to tell you, you will not be performing at your best. Please do this thing for yourself. I wish someone had told me the same thing! Good luck. You can do it!!!
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    yeah its nice to know that not everyone is judgemental and some people actually do understand its not a choice and stuff even without going through it themselves

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    as for the fat thing, i am fat because bmi is stupid and doesn't take into account that i'm short and stumpy and that if i ate anymore than 500 calories a day i would expand and get HUGE but because i'm a weak person sometimes i do which means i have to throw up and throw up untill its all gone.
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    bmi takes into account height, that's why you need your height to calculate it! I'm certain you're wrong about the 500 calorie thing too
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    i don't know i was considering taking omega 3 tablets for the placebo effect, i'm so scared of eating, because then i might be sick and then ill feel so **** through both exams there is also NO point at all in me turning up to the maths exam
    There ISSSS a point in turning up to the maths exam!!!! You MUSTT!!! Just try and eat something- I know it will probs make you feel **** afterwards but these exams clearly mean something to you- it is one day and then you can fast all you like!!! I believe in you!!
 
 
 
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