Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Antiaris
You know what I've noticed?
People on here have real identity issues. Not an eating disorder. An identity disorder.
We are confining ourselves into the word 'anorexic'. We seem to be taking it as our mantle, our shield, our persona. Because we see it as an integral part of ourselves we seem to be trying to 'fit into the box,' i.e. Because we call ourselves anorexic we then feel compelled to tick the relevant boxes.
People are forgetting themselves. They are forgetting what makes them 'them', what makes them unique and happy!
My name is Thomas.
+I like art, science, nutrition (pre-e.d. thing anyway), photography, drawing, painting, friends, family, magic (yes I still do believe a little, no different from religion with other people in that respect), anime, pokemon, yugioh! I like rock music, I like travelling and trying new things and meeting new people! I ENJOY NEW FOODS EVEN!
+Yes, I dropped out of Uni (pharmacy) but I plan to jump back in as soon as I find a course I will be good at!
+I'm resistant, I only dropped my last course after making sure that I was passing and that I left on my terms!
+I've been to London, Paris, Italy, Iceland, Spain, Portugal. I've been to the Britz. I've Skydived. I've paraglided. I've white water rafted. I can ski, sail a boat, cook, read, write.
+Looking for a job!
+Yes, I have anorexia or what defines anorexia but I am sick and tired of being DEFINED BY FUDGING ANOREXIA!
People on here have real identity issues. Not an eating disorder. An identity disorder.
We are confining ourselves into the word 'anorexic'. We seem to be taking it as our mantle, our shield, our persona. Because we see it as an integral part of ourselves we seem to be trying to 'fit into the box,' i.e. Because we call ourselves anorexic we then feel compelled to tick the relevant boxes.
People are forgetting themselves. They are forgetting what makes them 'them', what makes them unique and happy!
My name is Thomas.
+I like art, science, nutrition (pre-e.d. thing anyway), photography, drawing, painting, friends, family, magic (yes I still do believe a little, no different from religion with other people in that respect), anime, pokemon, yugioh! I like rock music, I like travelling and trying new things and meeting new people! I ENJOY NEW FOODS EVEN!
+Yes, I dropped out of Uni (pharmacy) but I plan to jump back in as soon as I find a course I will be good at!
+I'm resistant, I only dropped my last course after making sure that I was passing and that I left on my terms!
+I've been to London, Paris, Italy, Iceland, Spain, Portugal. I've been to the Britz. I've Skydived. I've paraglided. I've white water rafted. I can ski, sail a boat, cook, read, write.
+Looking for a job!
+Yes, I have anorexia or what defines anorexia but I am sick and tired of being DEFINED BY FUDGING ANOREXIA!
This is so true, and I think a lot of people forget it. Anorexia doesn’t define you; it doesn’t depict who you are and having anorexia doesn’t mean that you have to be ruled by it - you were, but now you’re fighting.
The term ‘anorexic’ is a label - and one, I fear, far too easily and facetiously thrown about these days - but what you've just said is so right. You are you. You are nothing more and nothing less: you mess up, you do things you regret, you make mistakes. But then you recover. You get back up. You start living again.
You have anorexia - it doesn’t have you.
To everyone. Spoiler
(edited 12 years ago)
Antaris I disagree, anorexia is NOT my identity. I post on here ABOUT my anorexia. But I don't spend my life posting on here.
I am custard. I am 22. I have few hobbies anymore because of lack of money, lack of friends, lack of transport. I am clever and I have a good brain, I enjoy learning. I am fascinated by medicines and how they work. I am going to uni in Oct and I CANNOT WAIT, not least because it will give me the opportunity to develop interests and hobbies and form healthy friendships. I have a very dry sense of humour, I am very sarcastic, I treat other people harshly and myself even more so. I like things that make me smile, I like making OTHER people smile. I like a fight, I like a challenge, I like something to get my teeth into and if it stimulates my brain, even better.
___________________
I am feeling SO ANGRY AND RESENTFUL. Tonight's tea was ham salad with a croissant, and fruit salad with icecream. I cried and cried. Why? BECAUSE IT'S F**CKING AGONY, THAT'S WHY. Salad, and fruit, gives me SUCH bad reflux - and they give you so MUCH salad! It makes me SO angry, because it's all of what, 25-30 calories, but it HURTS and HURTS LIKE HELL. And the fruit on TOP of that... I'll be up at 11.30 sitting bolt-upright trying to go to sleep, and I will have to refuse some of my nighttime meds because they will simply hurt too much and I will end up vomiting.
We had a proper post-meal support session and I vented a bit there. The other patients were so lovely, and they said, and the nurses, that I should speak to the ward manager and to the dietician and they should be able to work round it, subsititute cooked veg for salads and maybe just give me bananas instead of fruit salad or something, because it's a physical problem and not an ED problem. Was good to get the support
.
I was up 1.2kg in 4 days. I was expecting it
and I didn't freak. Felt like c**p, yes. Freak, no. I know some of it is water as I've been passing less than normal. It should slow down - I really hope it does . But at the end of the day it's got to go on at some point anyway. And I can only get out the chair when I'm BMI 15.
I am custard. I am 22. I have few hobbies anymore because of lack of money, lack of friends, lack of transport. I am clever and I have a good brain, I enjoy learning. I am fascinated by medicines and how they work. I am going to uni in Oct and I CANNOT WAIT, not least because it will give me the opportunity to develop interests and hobbies and form healthy friendships. I have a very dry sense of humour, I am very sarcastic, I treat other people harshly and myself even more so. I like things that make me smile, I like making OTHER people smile. I like a fight, I like a challenge, I like something to get my teeth into and if it stimulates my brain, even better.
___________________
I am feeling SO ANGRY AND RESENTFUL. Tonight's tea was ham salad with a croissant, and fruit salad with icecream. I cried and cried. Why? BECAUSE IT'S F**CKING AGONY, THAT'S WHY. Salad, and fruit, gives me SUCH bad reflux - and they give you so MUCH salad! It makes me SO angry, because it's all of what, 25-30 calories, but it HURTS and HURTS LIKE HELL. And the fruit on TOP of that... I'll be up at 11.30 sitting bolt-upright trying to go to sleep, and I will have to refuse some of my nighttime meds because they will simply hurt too much and I will end up vomiting.
We had a proper post-meal support session and I vented a bit there. The other patients were so lovely, and they said, and the nurses, that I should speak to the ward manager and to the dietician and they should be able to work round it, subsititute cooked veg for salads and maybe just give me bananas instead of fruit salad or something, because it's a physical problem and not an ED problem. Was good to get the support
.I was up 1.2kg in 4 days. I was expecting it
and I didn't freak. Felt like c**p, yes. Freak, no. I know some of it is water as I've been passing less than normal. It should slow down - I really hope it does . But at the end of the day it's got to go on at some point anyway. And I can only get out the chair when I'm BMI 15.Original post by TotoMimo
I hate the fact I'm not oblivious to the fact the ED is killing me. I know this ED caused me to have a heart attack at 26. I know I am less than 16 BMI. I know I am grossly unhealthy, But despite this, I continue on, doing what I'm doing, almost outwith my own control. How bizarre, but it's happening...
No, Toto. You have a choice. And all choices have consequences. You are NOT a powerless bystander, a helpless spectator. Remember that.
PANIC is your enemy. FOOD and WEIGHT are NOT.
I want to rep Antiaris, Custard and Diamond SO MUCH right now.
The truth is, with all mental disorders, the complexities of every individual means that labels are actually moot - mere approximations of what one person is experiencing. For me it's "anorexia nervosa with obsessive compulsive disorder exacerbated by multiple anxiety disorder" which, let's face it, isn't even practical to ABBREVIATE. When something can't be categorised or pigeonholed, it clearly CAN'T be, and therefore shouldn't be labelled at all.
In reality these disorders are as complex as the individual beings that we are in that they are created by ourselves. In some ways they are not "disorders" at all, or defects, in any way, but merely elements of our own personal beings which just so happen to be self-abusive. Clearly self-abusive behaviour goes against our naturalistic behaviour (ie survival) and so only with this taken into context should it be regarded as a "true" disorder.
What I'm getting at is that no two people are the same, no two disorders are the same, and our personalities, our mentalities, our thoughts and feelings and the disorders are intrinsically linked, and to combat our individual disorders we cannot expect a "stock cure". We need to delve deep into our own psyches to understand our own cures.
You guys are clearly all incredibly intelligent so I'm sure I'm just preaching to the knowledgeable - you all already KNOW all of this, but sometimes, you just need to voice it. X
The truth is, with all mental disorders, the complexities of every individual means that labels are actually moot - mere approximations of what one person is experiencing. For me it's "anorexia nervosa with obsessive compulsive disorder exacerbated by multiple anxiety disorder" which, let's face it, isn't even practical to ABBREVIATE. When something can't be categorised or pigeonholed, it clearly CAN'T be, and therefore shouldn't be labelled at all.
In reality these disorders are as complex as the individual beings that we are in that they are created by ourselves. In some ways they are not "disorders" at all, or defects, in any way, but merely elements of our own personal beings which just so happen to be self-abusive. Clearly self-abusive behaviour goes against our naturalistic behaviour (ie survival) and so only with this taken into context should it be regarded as a "true" disorder.
What I'm getting at is that no two people are the same, no two disorders are the same, and our personalities, our mentalities, our thoughts and feelings and the disorders are intrinsically linked, and to combat our individual disorders we cannot expect a "stock cure". We need to delve deep into our own psyches to understand our own cures.
You guys are clearly all incredibly intelligent so I'm sure I'm just preaching to the knowledgeable - you all already KNOW all of this, but sometimes, you just need to voice it. X
Original post by Antiaris
You know what I've noticed?
People on here have real identity issues. Not an eating disorder. An identity disorder.
We are confining ourselves into the word 'anorexic'. We seem to be taking it as our mantle, our shield, our persona. Because we see it as an integral part of ourselves we seem to be trying to 'fit into the box,' i.e. Because we call ourselves anorexic we then feel compelled to tick the relevant boxes.
People are forgetting themselves. They are forgetting what makes them 'them', what makes them unique and happy!
My name is Thomas.
+I like art, science, nutrition (pre-e.d. thing anyway), photography, drawing, painting, friends, family, magic (yes I still do believe a little, no different from religion with other people in that respect), anime, pokemon, yugioh! I like rock music, I like travelling and trying new things and meeting new people! I ENJOY NEW FOODS EVEN!
+Yes, I dropped out of Uni (pharmacy) but I plan to jump back in as soon as I find a course I will be good at!
+I'm resistant, I only dropped my last course after making sure that I was passing and that I left on my terms!
+I've been to London, Paris, Italy, Iceland, Spain, Portugal. I've been to the Britz. I've Skydived. I've paraglided. I've white water rafted. I can ski, sail a boat, cook, read, write.
+Looking for a job!
+Yes, I have anorexia or what defines anorexia but I am sick and tired of being DEFINED BY FUDGING ANOREXIA!
Toto, Custard, Diamond, you lot seem the most affected by this issue. Find out little things about yourselves and excel in being yourselves! SAME TO EVERYBODY!
I know I am not fully recovered but I know that this is one step in recovery that EVERYBODY has to make.
People on here have real identity issues. Not an eating disorder. An identity disorder.
We are confining ourselves into the word 'anorexic'. We seem to be taking it as our mantle, our shield, our persona. Because we see it as an integral part of ourselves we seem to be trying to 'fit into the box,' i.e. Because we call ourselves anorexic we then feel compelled to tick the relevant boxes.
People are forgetting themselves. They are forgetting what makes them 'them', what makes them unique and happy!
My name is Thomas.
+I like art, science, nutrition (pre-e.d. thing anyway), photography, drawing, painting, friends, family, magic (yes I still do believe a little, no different from religion with other people in that respect), anime, pokemon, yugioh! I like rock music, I like travelling and trying new things and meeting new people! I ENJOY NEW FOODS EVEN!
+Yes, I dropped out of Uni (pharmacy) but I plan to jump back in as soon as I find a course I will be good at!
+I'm resistant, I only dropped my last course after making sure that I was passing and that I left on my terms!
+I've been to London, Paris, Italy, Iceland, Spain, Portugal. I've been to the Britz. I've Skydived. I've paraglided. I've white water rafted. I can ski, sail a boat, cook, read, write.
+Looking for a job!
+Yes, I have anorexia or what defines anorexia but I am sick and tired of being DEFINED BY FUDGING ANOREXIA!
Toto, Custard, Diamond, you lot seem the most affected by this issue. Find out little things about yourselves and excel in being yourselves! SAME TO EVERYBODY!
I know I am not fully recovered but I know that this is one step in recovery that EVERYBODY has to make.
I really don't think of my anorexia as an identity tbh. It's not who I am. It's bloody BURIED who I am. I use this as a support thread but I also go on looooads of other threads.
I'm DD and I'm ridiculously obsessed with musicals but for some reason have only ever been in one. I love Glee- again, to a ridiculous extent despite its numerous flaws and you can often find me in the Glee soc drooling over Darren Criss and arguing over the best singer/actor in the cast. I don't really do much, it's true, but there are a lot of things I want to do and there is no way I'm going to be stopped. I love writing and reading. Once upon a time I used to read a book a day and write every single day. I wrote a fairly **** novel when I was 10 and lost it because I wrote it by hand instead of one the computer.
I'm almost pathologically accident prone and I like randomly singing in the middle of conversations and relating everyday sayings to songs. It's my dream to be in a Stephen Sondheim musical but to do that, I'd have to be classically trained and I can't afford singing lessons. Also, I don't actually know if I can act... or sing! I can never stick to a decision. I'm currently debating whether I want to do English Lit and Creative Writing or do something else like Law or Psychology or even Philosophy (despite my ranting about RS for the whole year!) but I can't imagine *not* doing English. I guess I just want to learn everything I can! I love Rome. I've been twice and I want to go again. I want to live there and be fluent in Italian because it's beautiful. I love baking. I used to want to be a doctor until I realised I hated sciences at AS level *cough* and failed them *cough*.
I love animals but I've never really had pets. I used to have a cat but my mum gave him away. I've seen Funny Face more times than I can count. I love buying stationery. I love smiling at people and being smiled at in return. I love laughing at the random names in Psychology studies. I like giving advice to my friends. I like challenges but I hate failing so I rarely challenge myself. I'm changing that every single day. Oh and I find it impossible to be concise.
There.
That's me! Well part of me. A good sight more of me than this frigging illlness that's for sure! to Custard and Toto.
Hi,
I just came across this forum and i thought id ask for help. Ive just turned 18, and im losing control. I have not been officialy diagnosed with anorexia, but i have all the early symptoms. I am due to start university in September and most of my friends have all left in the past month to go traveling. I have a terrible home life and cant wait to move out. I weigh myself 3 times a day and only eat less than 500 calories a day. This has been going on for about a month and i have lost a lot of weight. No one suspects anything yet as i wear baggy clothes and keep my strict diet and excercise a secret. However, last weekend i was competing in a cheerleading competition and after, me and all my team mates went back to the hotel for celebration drinks. Basically i drank too much (and drank on an empty stomach) so ended us extremly drunk. My assistant coach ended up in the bathroom with me while i tryed to sober up. I cant remember exactly how we ended up talking about it but i remember her saying that she hadnt seen me eat a thing all day and she asked me if i make myself sick. I told the truth and said yes. Now, my assistant coach is only a year older than me and im terrified that she has told my coach. I suspect she has because my coach was looking at me really weirdly the next day and even offered me a bit of a donut (only offered it to me, no one else). I really dont want people to find out or worry. This is the only thing i have control over and i dont want people to see me any different than they did before. Im no where near recovery as to be truthfull, im loving the results so far. I know eventually i will need to stop but at the moment, that terrifies me. Im so paranoid by this that even as i write this, im terrified that someone will know it is me.
I need help in not making people worry. How can i convince them i am ok without losing my control on eating? I want to say to my assistant coach that it was all drunk talk but so far im playing the "i cant even remember what i said" so that it would not be awkward between us. How do i make this better? I know there is no magic pill that will make it fine but im in a really bad place right now and need some help seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks
I just came across this forum and i thought id ask for help. Ive just turned 18, and im losing control. I have not been officialy diagnosed with anorexia, but i have all the early symptoms. I am due to start university in September and most of my friends have all left in the past month to go traveling. I have a terrible home life and cant wait to move out. I weigh myself 3 times a day and only eat less than 500 calories a day. This has been going on for about a month and i have lost a lot of weight. No one suspects anything yet as i wear baggy clothes and keep my strict diet and excercise a secret. However, last weekend i was competing in a cheerleading competition and after, me and all my team mates went back to the hotel for celebration drinks. Basically i drank too much (and drank on an empty stomach) so ended us extremly drunk. My assistant coach ended up in the bathroom with me while i tryed to sober up. I cant remember exactly how we ended up talking about it but i remember her saying that she hadnt seen me eat a thing all day and she asked me if i make myself sick. I told the truth and said yes. Now, my assistant coach is only a year older than me and im terrified that she has told my coach. I suspect she has because my coach was looking at me really weirdly the next day and even offered me a bit of a donut (only offered it to me, no one else). I really dont want people to find out or worry. This is the only thing i have control over and i dont want people to see me any different than they did before. Im no where near recovery as to be truthfull, im loving the results so far. I know eventually i will need to stop but at the moment, that terrifies me. Im so paranoid by this that even as i write this, im terrified that someone will know it is me.
I need help in not making people worry. How can i convince them i am ok without losing my control on eating? I want to say to my assistant coach that it was all drunk talk but so far im playing the "i cant even remember what i said" so that it would not be awkward between us. How do i make this better? I know there is no magic pill that will make it fine but im in a really bad place right now and need some help seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,
I just came across this forum and i thought id ask for help. Ive just turned 18, and im losing control. I have not been officialy diagnosed with anorexia, but i have all the early symptoms. I am due to start university in September and most of my friends have all left in the past month to go traveling. I have a terrible home life and cant wait to move out. I weigh myself 3 times a day and only eat less than 500 calories a day. This has been going on for about a month and i have lost a lot of weight. No one suspects anything yet as i wear baggy clothes and keep my strict diet and excercise a secret. However, last weekend i was competing in a cheerleading competition and after, me and all my team mates went back to the hotel for celebration drinks. Basically i drank too much (and drank on an empty stomach) so ended us extremly drunk. My assistant coach ended up in the bathroom with me while i tryed to sober up. I cant remember exactly how we ended up talking about it but i remember her saying that she hadnt seen me eat a thing all day and she asked me if i make myself sick. I told the truth and said yes. Now, my assistant coach is only a year older than me and im terrified that she has told my coach. I suspect she has because my coach was looking at me really weirdly the next day and even offered me a bit of a donut (only offered it to me, no one else). I really dont want people to find out or worry. This is the only thing i have control over and i dont want people to see me any different than they did before. Im no where near recovery as to be truthfull, im loving the results so far. I know eventually i will need to stop but at the moment, that terrifies me. Im so paranoid by this that even as i write this, im terrified that someone will know it is me.
I need help in not making people worry. How can i convince them i am ok without losing my control on eating? I want to say to my assistant coach that it was all drunk talk but so far im playing the "i cant even remember what i said" so that it would not be awkward between us. How do i make this better? I know there is no magic pill that will make it fine but im in a really bad place right now and need some help seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks
I just came across this forum and i thought id ask for help. Ive just turned 18, and im losing control. I have not been officialy diagnosed with anorexia, but i have all the early symptoms. I am due to start university in September and most of my friends have all left in the past month to go traveling. I have a terrible home life and cant wait to move out. I weigh myself 3 times a day and only eat less than 500 calories a day. This has been going on for about a month and i have lost a lot of weight. No one suspects anything yet as i wear baggy clothes and keep my strict diet and excercise a secret. However, last weekend i was competing in a cheerleading competition and after, me and all my team mates went back to the hotel for celebration drinks. Basically i drank too much (and drank on an empty stomach) so ended us extremly drunk. My assistant coach ended up in the bathroom with me while i tryed to sober up. I cant remember exactly how we ended up talking about it but i remember her saying that she hadnt seen me eat a thing all day and she asked me if i make myself sick. I told the truth and said yes. Now, my assistant coach is only a year older than me and im terrified that she has told my coach. I suspect she has because my coach was looking at me really weirdly the next day and even offered me a bit of a donut (only offered it to me, no one else). I really dont want people to find out or worry. This is the only thing i have control over and i dont want people to see me any different than they did before. Im no where near recovery as to be truthfull, im loving the results so far. I know eventually i will need to stop but at the moment, that terrifies me. Im so paranoid by this that even as i write this, im terrified that someone will know it is me.
I need help in not making people worry. How can i convince them i am ok without losing my control on eating? I want to say to my assistant coach that it was all drunk talk but so far im playing the "i cant even remember what i said" so that it would not be awkward between us. How do i make this better? I know there is no magic pill that will make it fine but im in a really bad place right now and need some help seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks
Do you mean you're asking for help on how to lie to people and pretend you're fine? Because if you are, that's not any sort of advice I can give, I'm sorry. It will just make you more ill. You can't not eat and not make people worry unfortunately, the two go hand in hand. The only way to stop people from worrying is to reassure them that you're actually trying to get better and mean it. You're lucky that you're recognising the symptoms for what they are and you're in a position where you're (seemingly) lucid enough to do something about it. I'd urge you to get some help, be it medical or psychological because you really don't want to wait until you *have* to stop. This might sound a bit unthinkable but maybe you should confide in your coach? Because it's better to tell someone than it is to keep it a secret where things can only get worse. I know you probably want to hold on to it and I'm really sorry you're going through this, but if you want to make it better or at least have a chance of things being better, you have to increase what you're eating (easier said than done, I know) and talk to someone and get some proper support around you.
anonymous you are a cheerleader which makes me think you're pretty fit as it is and healthy before. there is no need for the extreme weight loss you're committing yourself to. people worry cos they care.
brb
brb
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,
I just came across this forum and i thought id ask for help. Ive just turned 18, and im losing control. I have not been officialy diagnosed with anorexia, but i have all the early symptoms. I am due to start university in September and most of my friends have all left in the past month to go traveling. I have a terrible home life and cant wait to move out. I weigh myself 3 times a day and only eat less than 500 calories a day. This has been going on for about a month and i have lost a lot of weight. No one suspects anything yet as i wear baggy clothes and keep my strict diet and excercise a secret. However, last weekend i was competing in a cheerleading competition and after, me and all my team mates went back to the hotel for celebration drinks. Basically i drank too much (and drank on an empty stomach) so ended us extremly drunk. My assistant coach ended up in the bathroom with me while i tryed to sober up. I cant remember exactly how we ended up talking about it but i remember her saying that she hadnt seen me eat a thing all day and she asked me if i make myself sick. I told the truth and said yes. Now, my assistant coach is only a year older than me and im terrified that she has told my coach. I suspect she has because my coach was looking at me really weirdly the next day and even offered me a bit of a donut (only offered it to me, no one else). I really dont want people to find out or worry. This is the only thing i have control over and i dont want people to see me any different than they did before. Im no where near recovery as to be truthfull, im loving the results so far. I know eventually i will need to stop but at the moment, that terrifies me. Im so paranoid by this that even as i write this, im terrified that someone will know it is me.
I need help in not making people worry. How can i convince them i am ok without losing my control on eating? I want to say to my assistant coach that it was all drunk talk but so far im playing the "i cant even remember what i said" so that it would not be awkward between us. How do i make this better? I know there is no magic pill that will make it fine but im in a really bad place right now and need some help seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks
I just came across this forum and i thought id ask for help. Ive just turned 18, and im losing control. I have not been officialy diagnosed with anorexia, but i have all the early symptoms. I am due to start university in September and most of my friends have all left in the past month to go traveling. I have a terrible home life and cant wait to move out. I weigh myself 3 times a day and only eat less than 500 calories a day. This has been going on for about a month and i have lost a lot of weight. No one suspects anything yet as i wear baggy clothes and keep my strict diet and excercise a secret. However, last weekend i was competing in a cheerleading competition and after, me and all my team mates went back to the hotel for celebration drinks. Basically i drank too much (and drank on an empty stomach) so ended us extremly drunk. My assistant coach ended up in the bathroom with me while i tryed to sober up. I cant remember exactly how we ended up talking about it but i remember her saying that she hadnt seen me eat a thing all day and she asked me if i make myself sick. I told the truth and said yes. Now, my assistant coach is only a year older than me and im terrified that she has told my coach. I suspect she has because my coach was looking at me really weirdly the next day and even offered me a bit of a donut (only offered it to me, no one else). I really dont want people to find out or worry. This is the only thing i have control over and i dont want people to see me any different than they did before. Im no where near recovery as to be truthfull, im loving the results so far. I know eventually i will need to stop but at the moment, that terrifies me. Im so paranoid by this that even as i write this, im terrified that someone will know it is me.
I need help in not making people worry. How can i convince them i am ok without losing my control on eating? I want to say to my assistant coach that it was all drunk talk but so far im playing the "i cant even remember what i said" so that it would not be awkward between us. How do i make this better? I know there is no magic pill that will make it fine but im in a really bad place right now and need some help seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks
I think you must know that no-one in this thread is going to give you advice on how to hide this from others.
Can you think of any particular events that could have started the sprial into eating disorder? Because that could be key to helping you stop it before it takes too much of a hold.
As mentioned, it might be a good idea to speak to someone impartial like a coach, rather than a family member etc.
This might sound a bit simplistic, but could you try to alter your control over food and your weight into trying to remain at the same weight? This way you can feel in control and be healthy and safe at the same time.
The most important thing is to tell someone, because you will never be able to truly tackle this alone, Whether its a friend, teacher/coach, parent or counsellor, you will need help.
Good Luck, you can get through this.
yeah that was my idea once to ToTo too. find a healthy weight and stick to it, please! people. don't kill yourselves.
sigh i;m awake at this time.
sigh i;m awake at this time.
Original post by NotSoCool.Fly
yeah that was my idea once to ToTo too. find a healthy weight and stick to it, please! people. don't kill yourselves.
sigh i;m awake at this time.
sigh i;m awake at this time.
Been up since 4.
Bloomin' Psychology revision. Might just give up on revision now... Hello !
I've not yet slept. Woke up 6pm yesterday, slept at 10 am , seems an ongoing cycle. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!
What exam do you have? A level? I did Psych AQA
I've not yet slept. Woke up 6pm yesterday, slept at 10 am , seems an ongoing cycle. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!
What exam do you have? A level? I did Psych AQA
Original post by NotSoCool.Fly
Hello !
I've not yet slept. Woke up 6pm yesterday, slept at 10 am , seems an ongoing cycle. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!
What exam do you have? A level? I did Psych AQA
I've not yet slept. Woke up 6pm yesterday, slept at 10 am , seems an ongoing cycle. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!
What exam do you have? A level? I did Psych AQA
Yup, I have my last A level exam today. I have Psych AQA A this morning and then I'm finally FINALLY free!
I plan on having the longest sleep ever before I have to get up and get my hair done.Oh hun, not sleeping is awful! You should try and go to bed super early today just so your body knows it needs to rest...
thanks for the concern
i love my sleep normally but this summer heat is getting to me a bit
that said it did rain yesterday yay
get your hair done for what?
good luck with the exam all the best you will nail it xxxxxxxxxx
i love my sleep normally but this summer heat is getting to me a bit
that said it did rain yesterday yayget your hair done for what?
good luck with the exam all the best you will nail it xxxxxxxxxx
Hey everyone,
I'm really sorry to barge in on this thread, but I just wanted to let off some steam about what's been going on for me recently and see if anyone else feels the same way or has any advice.
I was reading through some of the replies, and I felt a strange sense of relief to find that I wasn't alone in the whole 'eating for exams' dilemma. I've just sat my AS levels and I finished very early, a month ago now, and during the revision period my eating improved significantly as I needed the energy to concentrate. I was also at home on study leave, which helped because if I don't eat when I'm at school. When my exams ended, I became extremely depressed and eating became an awful lot harder, while exercise once again became a problem. During my exams I didn't weigh myself, knowing that if I did my weight would dictate my mood and therefore my ability to revise. After my exams, I did weigh myself, and discovered that I had gained (I'd rather not say how much, sorry )
My immediate reaction has been, 'I need to lose weight', because when I'm not revising it's almost as if I don't have an "excuse" to maintain. My mum has a really hard time understanding why I can eat more under certain circumstances, but struggle at other times; she says, "If you can eat during your exams, why can't you eat now?" It's really difficult and frustrating trying to explain it to her :/
I've been ill for four years now, and spent a lot of time in different hospitals. Now that I'm home I think a lot of people assume I'm better, but I'm really not, and there's such a lot of pressure to perform academically. I know I have a lot of reasons to get better - uni (I want to apply to Cambridge), the rest of my exams, the rest of my life... But I can't shake the feeling that I need to lose weight now, because I'm not doing any work, and to maintain would be 'lazy, wasteful, pointless' as my ED says
Sorry if any of this was triggering for anyone, and sorry for my big moaning session, I hope you all get better as you all seem like such lovely people xxx
I'm really sorry to barge in on this thread, but I just wanted to let off some steam about what's been going on for me recently and see if anyone else feels the same way or has any advice.
I was reading through some of the replies, and I felt a strange sense of relief to find that I wasn't alone in the whole 'eating for exams' dilemma. I've just sat my AS levels and I finished very early, a month ago now, and during the revision period my eating improved significantly as I needed the energy to concentrate. I was also at home on study leave, which helped because if I don't eat when I'm at school. When my exams ended, I became extremely depressed and eating became an awful lot harder, while exercise once again became a problem. During my exams I didn't weigh myself, knowing that if I did my weight would dictate my mood and therefore my ability to revise. After my exams, I did weigh myself, and discovered that I had gained (I'd rather not say how much, sorry
) My immediate reaction has been, 'I need to lose weight', because when I'm not revising it's almost as if I don't have an "excuse" to maintain. My mum has a really hard time understanding why I can eat more under certain circumstances, but struggle at other times; she says, "If you can eat during your exams, why can't you eat now?" It's really difficult and frustrating trying to explain it to her :/
I've been ill for four years now, and spent a lot of time in different hospitals. Now that I'm home I think a lot of people assume I'm better, but I'm really not, and there's such a lot of pressure to perform academically. I know I have a lot of reasons to get better - uni (I want to apply to Cambridge), the rest of my exams, the rest of my life... But I can't shake the feeling that I need to lose weight now, because I'm not doing any work, and to maintain would be 'lazy, wasteful, pointless' as my ED says
Sorry if any of this was triggering for anyone, and sorry for my big moaning session, I hope you all get better as you all seem like such lovely people xxx
What you seem to have an issue with is that you feel that you aren't using your energy efficiently. You may have gained, but it was in doing something and now that you aren't 'doing something' you feel like the energy gained is just 'wasteful'.
Write a list of things you wat to do in a day, no matter how small, i.e. go to town, meet friends, go to toilet (even that sorta thing if you are stuck!). Every time you achieve you will have achieved with the energy gained in your food.
Write a list of things you wat to do in a day, no matter how small, i.e. go to town, meet friends, go to toilet (even that sorta thing if you are stuck!). Every time you achieve you will have achieved with the energy gained in your food.
Original post by elljay
Hey everyone,
I'm really sorry to barge in on this thread, but I just wanted to let off some steam about what's been going on for me recently and see if anyone else feels the same way or has any advice.
I was reading through some of the replies, and I felt a strange sense of relief to find that I wasn't alone in the whole 'eating for exams' dilemma. I've just sat my AS levels and I finished very early, a month ago now, and during the revision period my eating improved significantly as I needed the energy to concentrate. I was also at home on study leave, which helped because if I don't eat when I'm at school. When my exams ended, I became extremely depressed and eating became an awful lot harder, while exercise once again became a problem. During my exams I didn't weigh myself, knowing that if I did my weight would dictate my mood and therefore my ability to revise. After my exams, I did weigh myself, and discovered that I had gained (I'd rather not say how much, sorry )
My immediate reaction has been, 'I need to lose weight', because when I'm not revising it's almost as if I don't have an "excuse" to maintain. My mum has a really hard time understanding why I can eat more under certain circumstances, but struggle at other times; she says, "If you can eat during your exams, why can't you eat now?" It's really difficult and frustrating trying to explain it to her :/
I've been ill for four years now, and spent a lot of time in different hospitals. Now that I'm home I think a lot of people assume I'm better, but I'm really not, and there's such a lot of pressure to perform academically. I know I have a lot of reasons to get better - uni (I want to apply to Cambridge), the rest of my exams, the rest of my life... But I can't shake the feeling that I need to lose weight now, because I'm not doing any work, and to maintain would be 'lazy, wasteful, pointless' as my ED says
Sorry if any of this was triggering for anyone, and sorry for my big moaning session, I hope you all get better as you all seem like such lovely people xxx
I'm really sorry to barge in on this thread, but I just wanted to let off some steam about what's been going on for me recently and see if anyone else feels the same way or has any advice.
I was reading through some of the replies, and I felt a strange sense of relief to find that I wasn't alone in the whole 'eating for exams' dilemma. I've just sat my AS levels and I finished very early, a month ago now, and during the revision period my eating improved significantly as I needed the energy to concentrate. I was also at home on study leave, which helped because if I don't eat when I'm at school. When my exams ended, I became extremely depressed and eating became an awful lot harder, while exercise once again became a problem. During my exams I didn't weigh myself, knowing that if I did my weight would dictate my mood and therefore my ability to revise. After my exams, I did weigh myself, and discovered that I had gained (I'd rather not say how much, sorry
) My immediate reaction has been, 'I need to lose weight', because when I'm not revising it's almost as if I don't have an "excuse" to maintain. My mum has a really hard time understanding why I can eat more under certain circumstances, but struggle at other times; she says, "If you can eat during your exams, why can't you eat now?" It's really difficult and frustrating trying to explain it to her :/
I've been ill for four years now, and spent a lot of time in different hospitals. Now that I'm home I think a lot of people assume I'm better, but I'm really not, and there's such a lot of pressure to perform academically. I know I have a lot of reasons to get better - uni (I want to apply to Cambridge), the rest of my exams, the rest of my life... But I can't shake the feeling that I need to lose weight now, because I'm not doing any work, and to maintain would be 'lazy, wasteful, pointless' as my ED says
Sorry if any of this was triggering for anyone, and sorry for my big moaning session, I hope you all get better as you all seem like such lovely people xxx
I won't claim to understand your exact position, but I have had similar (but different) experiences. Keeping busy (as posted above) with hobbies etc is a good idea. Set yourself goals which aren' to do with your weight or eating and feel good about achieving them.
It might be a good idea to seek out counselling of some sort. If you are worried people think you are 'better', make sure they know that you don't feel that way. You can't overcome this without support from people you love (and love you). Try asking your GP to refer you for counselling so you can talk through your issues in person (not that talking on here is unhelpful, just not as helpful as the real thing i think).
Good Luck
Original post by NotSoCool.Fly
thanks for the concern
i love my sleep normally but this summer heat is getting to me a bit that said it did rain yesterday yay
get your hair done for what?
good luck with the exam all the best you will nail it xxxxxxxxxx
i love my sleep normally but this summer heat is getting to me a bit
that said it did rain yesterday yayget your hair done for what?
good luck with the exam all the best you will nail it xxxxxxxxxx
It just needs to be retwisted because it's a total mess. I flopped. Disgustingly. There was a 12 mark stats question I answered completely wrong.
Original post by elljay
Hey everyone,
I'm really sorry to barge in on this thread, but I just wanted to let off some steam about what's been going on for me recently and see if anyone else feels the same way or has any advice.
I was reading through some of the replies, and I felt a strange sense of relief to find that I wasn't alone in the whole 'eating for exams' dilemma. I've just sat my AS levels and I finished very early, a month ago now, and during the revision period my eating improved significantly as I needed the energy to concentrate. I was also at home on study leave, which helped because if I don't eat when I'm at school. When my exams ended, I became extremely depressed and eating became an awful lot harder, while exercise once again became a problem. During my exams I didn't weigh myself, knowing that if I did my weight would dictate my mood and therefore my ability to revise. After my exams, I did weigh myself, and discovered that I had gained (I'd rather not say how much, sorry )
My immediate reaction has been, 'I need to lose weight', because when I'm not revising it's almost as if I don't have an "excuse" to maintain. My mum has a really hard time understanding why I can eat more under certain circumstances, but struggle at other times; she says, "If you can eat during your exams, why can't you eat now?" It's really difficult and frustrating trying to explain it to her :/
I've been ill for four years now, and spent a lot of time in different hospitals. Now that I'm home I think a lot of people assume I'm better, but I'm really not, and there's such a lot of pressure to perform academically. I know I have a lot of reasons to get better - uni (I want to apply to Cambridge), the rest of my exams, the rest of my life... But I can't shake the feeling that I need to lose weight now, because I'm not doing any work, and to maintain would be 'lazy, wasteful, pointless' as my ED says
Sorry if any of this was triggering for anyone, and sorry for my big moaning session, I hope you all get better as you all seem like such lovely people xxx
I'm really sorry to barge in on this thread, but I just wanted to let off some steam about what's been going on for me recently and see if anyone else feels the same way or has any advice.
I was reading through some of the replies, and I felt a strange sense of relief to find that I wasn't alone in the whole 'eating for exams' dilemma. I've just sat my AS levels and I finished very early, a month ago now, and during the revision period my eating improved significantly as I needed the energy to concentrate. I was also at home on study leave, which helped because if I don't eat when I'm at school. When my exams ended, I became extremely depressed and eating became an awful lot harder, while exercise once again became a problem. During my exams I didn't weigh myself, knowing that if I did my weight would dictate my mood and therefore my ability to revise. After my exams, I did weigh myself, and discovered that I had gained (I'd rather not say how much, sorry
) My immediate reaction has been, 'I need to lose weight', because when I'm not revising it's almost as if I don't have an "excuse" to maintain. My mum has a really hard time understanding why I can eat more under certain circumstances, but struggle at other times; she says, "If you can eat during your exams, why can't you eat now?" It's really difficult and frustrating trying to explain it to her :/
I've been ill for four years now, and spent a lot of time in different hospitals. Now that I'm home I think a lot of people assume I'm better, but I'm really not, and there's such a lot of pressure to perform academically. I know I have a lot of reasons to get better - uni (I want to apply to Cambridge), the rest of my exams, the rest of my life... But I can't shake the feeling that I need to lose weight now, because I'm not doing any work, and to maintain would be 'lazy, wasteful, pointless' as my ED says
Sorry if any of this was triggering for anyone, and sorry for my big moaning session, I hope you all get better as you all seem like such lovely people xxx
Wow, it's like you jumped into my brain.
Spoiler
You (and I) still need to maintain. Maintenance doesn't go out of the window just because we don't feel like we have justification for it.Are you getting any help?
(edited 12 years ago)
Quick Reply
Latest
Last reply 4 minutes ago
Official London School of Economics and Political Science 2024 Applicant ThreadLast reply 5 minutes ago
JK Rowling in ‘arrest me’ challenge over hate crime lawLast reply 8 minutes ago
Ordinarily Resident - living abroad for last 2 yearsLast reply 8 minutes ago
Inlaks, Commonwealth, and Other Scholarships for Indian Students 2024: ThreadLast reply 9 minutes ago
PA Consulting Degree Apprenticeships 2024Last reply 10 minutes ago
Imperial offer but reject by st andrews ???Last reply 11 minutes ago
What do I need - I've a UK passport but live in EULast reply 12 minutes ago
Official UCL Offer Holders Thread for 2024 entryLast reply 14 minutes ago
Why is the political left now censorious and authoritarian??
