Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

Thank you so much for that blog, what an inspiring person! I do have one question - the bit when she says that people who get to a BMI of over 20 have a much lower chance of relapse than people who stop increasing their weight below 20, is that true? I know BMI is subjective and often irrelevant but to be at 20... straight away I'm thinking 'well that bit just doesn't apply to me,' am I being crazy? Problem is I do know all the logical stuff, like about the brain, I just skive off putting into practice. But you're right, it is about being honest with myself. I'm doing a bit better now, I had some pasta tonight. My mum has started giving me this kind of glazed-eye sad look over the past few months which is in many ways more unbearable than the constant glaring/yelling/slapping she's resorted to for many years!

Aaanyway, I think I'm going to go back to doing food plans and diaries and hopefully that way I can keep an 'honest' track on things!

Spoiler bit: for doing so well and gaining the weight, for still feeling bad, for tomorrow being better. I will be so so proud of you if you can work through this bit, I've tried recovery so many times and from past experience that bit is definitely always the hardest bit - and therefore always the bit when I've given up! But if you can work through it I know it does get better. Please stick at it, you're amazing

Oh my goodness, just got to the 'Relapse Prevention Plan.' This girl is actually incredible :')

i can't do it i've given up just sobbing my eyes out because its not working and i can't do it

i'm just hopeless

xxx

Hope I dont get neg repped like most of my posts(for no real reason either!) but today havent eaten yet but as per usual drank a lot of diet cola(used to be regular but since I started diet I feel a little less crappy)

So as the evening gets later I will end up in binge mode again like last night had 1/3 a baguette at lunchtime then in evening ate a large plate of mince(with nothing else on plate) then a large slice of cake.

I just never physcially feel hungry till the evening but feel psychologically hungry all day so thats where the imbalance with me lies since when the 2 feelings are in sync I go in binge mode.

Hi, I'm also suffering from binge eating...well its been relapsing for few years now but now that I'm going through a bit of emotional moment, my binge eating has come back...

I just ate five choc chip cookies half a jar of nutella, 1/2 houmous, 100g of smoked salmon, choc bar (304 kcals) and goat cheese...I feel sick and I tried to throw up but I can't so I need to purge tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and possibly on thursday...help....

I dont want to piss on your parade/ appear to be backseat modding, but can you please put what you have/ havent eaten + references to binging in spoiler tags, because quite a few of us find things like that immensly triggering.

Hi, I'm also suffering from binge eating...well its been relapsing for few years now but now that I'm going through a bit of emotional moment, my binge eating has come back...
...help....

Do you go through periods of starving and bingeing or normal eating and then bingeing?

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Going to tell my doctor tomorrow. I expect her to laugh at me, as she is all slim and blah blah.... but... i'm doing it! I will!

Yes...binging followed by starving for the past 2 years but before, I used to just binge and didn't think of starving so I gained weight and I hated myself and went really depressed...

What are you planning to tell your doctor? Are you anorexic/bullimic? I'm not sure if I am...but whenever I am stressed, I resort to food and since all of my friends have gone home and I can only go home in 3 days, I'm all alone at home and am really depressed...

X

My problem is that I have no idea what I am and most of the time tell myself i'm not anything. I just know it's not healthy and is now causing memory loss, confusion, spacing out and collpasing.

Well binging is common if you are starving, as your body needs food. So I guess the goal is to find a healthy compromise with food and control emotions in other ways. Easier said than done obviously, but doable.

Oh my god, are you okay? You are suffering from memory loss? What are your symptoms? Are you binge eating too or are you really not eating food? I feel like I can't control myself and I am panicking at the moment...having no one around me isn't helping at all...I don't know what to do...I should see a doctor as well but he's back home...not here...

I always find that if i'm panicking, going for a stroll with some music in and just relaxing somewhere nice, like a park or river for a few hours calms me down. Is it possible for you to do that?

Erm...

I always find that if i'm panicking, going for a stroll with some music in and just relaxing somewhere nice, like a park or river for a few hours calms me down. Is it possible for you to do that?

Erm...

Looking back at what I ate at uni to gain so much weight, I definitely, definitely still have issues with food. I'm trying to be more rational about it, but swinging from anorexia to binge eating a few years later has messed around with my head and how I view food.

i actually feel kind of the same as that. my eating habits are so wrong and i just don't have any particular thing wrong with me anymore.

i don't think i'm ever going to have the laid back eating the right amount relationship with food and i don't think i ever will tbh. i don't think i ever did - as a child i used to eat and eat and eat through boredom and stuff, so i was always on the heavy side, then i dieted and ate too little and lost all the weight, now its just much too much or much too little and theres NO middle ground.

Go to your GP, this is in our heads and it is possible to get a healthy perspective - Lord knows I did for a few years! Then depression and stress and living with perfect-looking girls obsessed with food (in their own ways) led to me losing that grip on normal eating.

I was wondering about the BMI of 20 bit too. I'd like to believe it's true but I really don't know either! And SO proud of you for the pasta (and not giving up! You're far too awesome to succumb to the **** in your brain and it would be such a disgusting waste!) You can do this, bit by bit.
And thank you. I'm forcing myself to do things because it seems like my natural instinct when I feel like this is to hide away and not do anything. So on the agenda for this week is cinema with my friend, babysitting my sister's friend's daughter and general fangirling over Glee.

Evening!

I'm Katie, previously discussed armadillo blogger I just posted the same thing about five times before realising that it was probably put into the moderation queue because I'm a new member and it had a link in it (a post I wrote to say thanks and hi when I noticed that I was being talked about here). So I apologise in advance for when my posts show up, I didn't mean to spam you! Epic fail, me.

I do feel for you all, eating disorders are tenacious illnesses and recovery is hard, although possible. Best of luck to everyone