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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. Watch

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    (Original post by morrisman)
    faaar too much caffeine, and with only 4 hours sleep a night she is thinking of sleeping pills which worries me.
    It should. Unfortunately if she's over 18 and not dangerously emaciated necessitating being sectioned then as you know, there is little that you can do other than letting her know how dangerous it is and how scared you are.

    B/P and caffeine are both well known for causing heart rhythm abnormalities, as are many sleeping pills. I should know, I have an implanted cardiac defibrillator and have been told not to have caffeine, chocolate or alcohol. She should switch to decaffeinated drinks and coffee if she must them drink them at all. The safest drink is water.

    B/P is known to be the most dangerous of behaviours as it does more damage to the heart and the electrolytes than starvation on its own; which is bad enough on its own!

    Good luck dealing with your daughter. You are both in my thoughts.
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    (Original post by morrisman)
    Yay for a bacon sandwich!

    Unfortunately nothing solid is allowed, I offered to make a lovely fresh fruit smoothie but no go, what worries me is her heart can't be doing too good, and she is living off Coke, coffee and hot chocolate, faaar too much caffeine, and with only 4 hours sleep a night she is thinking of sleeping pills which worries me.
    Hi! Sorry to hear about your situation, it must be awful to feel so helpless. I thought I'd post this link to a support forum for parents of those with eating disorders, which could be useful for you. Lots of wisdom on there, and people in similar predicaments etc:

    http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/

    All the best to you, and to everyone else on this forum.
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    #35

    Harrowing story, it made me feel really fortunate, hope you recover. I understand eating disorders as much as i can without ever having got to the stage where I was diagnosed. I decided I was worth it and I mattered before it got that far. I think low self-esteem and feelings of powerlessness is the key issue here. My advice to anyone struggling and slipping into dangerous eating patterns is to take a second to think about how much you've got going for you, how many opportunities you still have and stop thinking you have to 'earn' anything. apply this to every aspect of your life and treat your body like a temple and you will be happier for it. I still get 'bad' thoughts, but you just have to kill them with reason and focus on making positive changes. positivity, drive and intellect combined wins.
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    Not that it makes a difference since I rarely post...but I'm going to stop reading this thread for the time being, it's not doing me a lot of good. Thanks for your post, Anonymous, I need to keep reminding myself of that instead of allowing other things to trigger me. I wish there was a way of blocking myself from this thread so I'm not tempted to read it.
    To everyone in here who is fighting a hard battle, I wish you all the best in your recovery.
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    Huzzah for managing to eat that bacon sarnie! I bet you enjoyed it way more than you thought you physically could a simple sandwich because your body's been without for so, so long!

    Floskii, sorry to hear this thread is having a negative effect on you. Obviously as a thread to HELP rather than hinder, this isn't ideal, so please stay off and find some more positive encouragements suited to your own recovery.

    morrisman, thank you for enquiring! My recovery has taken a few lumps and bumps recently as all recoveries really do. At my most recent weigh-in I found I had lost a little weight due to me slipping back into "stealth exertion" - basically, as I was consuming more, I was subconsciously upping my walking around, finding excuses to be a bit more physical, and in turn completely sabotaging my recovery. I nipped this in the bud and now I'm remaining sedentary. This is made difficult in knowing that although my weight is the same, my body fat has increased. This is a good thing, but to me, it's been difficult to fathom. My osteoperosis has had to be treated as "severe" now they've noticed spinal cartilage has degraded and I'm on phosphites (sp?) which are causing my skeleton to hurt like a mofo.

    I swear, between the skeletal damage, the heart attacks, constant kidney, liver and bladder infections, this eating disorder doesn't even seem that worth it (LAWL).

    I wonder, how are my fellow ED-battlers faring in their current scenario?
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Huzzah for managing to eat that bacon sarnie! I bet you enjoyed it way more than you thought you physically could a simple sandwich because your body's been without for so, so long!

    Floskii, sorry to hear this thread is having a negative effect on you. Obviously as a thread to HELP rather than hinder, this isn't ideal, so please stay off and find some more positive encouragements suited to your own recovery.

    morrisman, thank you for enquiring! My recovery has taken a few lumps and bumps recently as all recoveries really do. At my most recent weigh-in I found I had lost a little weight due to me slipping back into "stealth exertion" - basically, as I was consuming more, I was subconsciously upping my walking around, finding excuses to be a bit more physical, and in turn completely sabotaging my recovery. I nipped this in the bud and now I'm remaining sedentary. This is made difficult in knowing that although my weight is the same, my body fat has increased. This is a good thing, but to me, it's been difficult to fathom. My osteoperosis has had to be treated as "severe" now they've noticed spinal cartilage has degraded and I'm on phosphites (sp?) which are causing my skeleton to hurt like a mofo.

    I swear, between the skeletal damage, the heart attacks, constant kidney, liver and bladder infections, this eating disorder doesn't even seem that worth it (LAWL).

    I wonder, how are my fellow ED-battlers faring in their current scenario?
    Out of interest, how long have you had your ED? You seem to have a lot of medical problems and I was under the impression that the ED only developed in the last year or so (I could have miss read this though... sorry if I have.

    Also well done for staying sedentary. All this hard work will pay off I promise.
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    Yes, I've probably had the eating disorder in SOME capacity for over a year, but it has only been one year since it took OVER my life. Before it, I was AWARE of what I took in but it never really intruded into my life; for example I might've chosen to eat light coleslaw over the deli-style if given the choice. A far cry from where I got to - at the point where I was weighing LETTUCE for my daily salads to ensure absolute calorie control.

    It just goes to show you how brutal you can ravage your body in such a short period of time. But much like my compatriots have stated, you don't realise what's happening until it's too late and then BAM, you're in hospital! In one year my bones are crumbling, heart is degraded, organs failing, teeth wasting - not to mention my "real" life has been put on hold. One year's all it's taken for the ED to cripple every single thing that I used to love in life. It's so, SO not worth it. And I WILL kill it.

    Kebabbi, I just want to say thank you and you are SO, SO welcome. I am smiling from ear to ear reading your post.

    KISSES AND LOVE AND HUGS AND MERRY JIGS TO ALL OF YOU GUYS!!XXX
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Huzzah for managing to eat that bacon sarnie! I bet you enjoyed it way more than you thought you physically could a simple sandwich because your body's been without for so, so long!

    Floskii, sorry to hear this thread is having a negative effect on you. Obviously as a thread to HELP rather than hinder, this isn't ideal, so please stay off and find some more positive encouragements suited to your own recovery.

    morrisman, thank you for enquiring! My recovery has taken a few lumps and bumps recently as all recoveries really do. At my most recent weigh-in I found I had lost a little weight due to me slipping back into "stealth exertion" - basically, as I was consuming more, I was subconsciously upping my walking around, finding excuses to be a bit more physical, and in turn completely sabotaging my recovery. I nipped this in the bud and now I'm remaining sedentary. This is made difficult in knowing that although my weight is the same, my body fat has increased. This is a good thing, but to me, it's been difficult to fathom. My osteoperosis has had to be treated as "severe" now they've noticed spinal cartilage has degraded and I'm on phosphites (sp?) which are causing my skeleton to hurt like a mofo.

    I swear, between the skeletal damage, the heart attacks, constant kidney, liver and bladder infections, this eating disorder doesn't even seem that worth it (LAWL).

    I wonder, how are my fellow ED-battlers faring in their current scenario?
    I'm not doing so good really... my health is getting even worse as exampled by yesterday....

    Spoiler:
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    I had an appointment at a museum I'm volunteering at and in the morning I had an immense headache but persevered because I have wanted this opportunity for so long and as the day went on my headache got worse and made me feel sick and my vision was starting to black out. At the end of the appointment I went to the toilet and after leaving I walked into a wall (it was a clinically white wall) but that shouldn't have made a difference from seeing it but I couldn't because my eyes blacked out for a moment and I felt stupid.... and on the way walking home I had to stop 3 times... THREE TIMES and I just wanted to cry and ring up my mum to collect me but I carried on walking anyway.

    I don't know if it was just because of the headache but either way.... wasn't a good day. Even though I'm still under eating I managed to force myself to eat a small chocolate bar which is quite an improvement because I generally get petrified of them. It did terrify me a bit feeling that **** all day and I'm very much pushing myself each day to eat foods that aren't my 'safe foods' because I have a lot I want to achieve and I was so close to just passing out. My mum hassles me all the time saying I look like a walking corpse and it's so hard because I have BDD and I just don't see it, granted I don't want to see it.. it isn't necessarily about looking thin or anything it's just.... I'm confused and rambling so I'm going to stop typing now...


    I'm glad you're doing better though :hugs:
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    Today was like a constant binge. It didn't feel like a 'real' binge until I realised how much junk I'd eaten. But, it could have been worse or I could still be stuck in the depths of anorexia.

    I don't understand my relationship with food. It's almost a conditioned response to stress now (my uni results came out yesterday).
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    (Original post by Aemiliana)
    Today was like a constant binge. It didn't feel like a 'real' binge until I realised how much junk I'd eaten. But, it could have been worse or I could still be stuck in the depths of anorexia.

    I don't understand my relationship with food. It's almost a conditioned response to stress now (my uni results came out yesterday).
    :hugs: Were the results ok?
    xxx
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    :hugs: Were the results ok?
    xxx
    They were mixed, and to be honest I'm pretty disappointed in my overall grade. It could have been very close to being a bad grade (IMO!). At least it's first year, though I did kinda need to do well...
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    Don't fret m'dear. I did a Masters and ended up in the top five in my class, and in years 1 and 2, I was positively thick as mince. My grades were, unlike yours, ACTUALLY dire.

    Focus on the good in your life; positivity is the key to defeating ALL your demons. x
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    (Original post by Aemiliana)
    They were mixed, and to be honest I'm pretty disappointed in my overall grade. It could have been very close to being a bad grade (IMO!). At least it's first year, though I did kinda need to do well...
    :jumphug: Not going to give you any of those really annoying platitudes. It sucks when you're disappointed. Hey, at least it wasn't the bad grade. If it helps, my sister's friend was getting 2:2s in the first and second and year and somehow he pulled it up to a 2:1 by the end. So you can improve. This is all a learning curve. I'm sure second year will be better.
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    (Original post by Aemiliana)
    They were mixed, and to be honest I'm pretty disappointed in my overall grade. It could have been very close to being a bad grade (IMO!). At least it's first year, though I did kinda need to do well...
    You did well though but I understand that it is most likely the perfectionism shining through here.... you're often thinking GRRR WHY NOT A FIRST?! No doubt that when we get firsts we'll be wondering why we cannot get higher and how they should make a higher one so we can aim for it.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Don't fret m'dear. I did a Masters and ended up in the top five in my class, and in years 1 and 2, I was positively thick as mince. My grades were, unlike yours, ACTUALLY dire.

    Focus on the good in your life; positivity is the key to defeating ALL your demons. x
    Tommy, it's so nice to read all this positive stuff you are saying!

    You must have changed so many people's lives for the better. I think you've got the best times of your life around the corner too! You're so amazingly strong and wonderful!

    Bless you! xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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    I haven't been on this thread in too long missed you guys
    Im unsure of if what I wrote in the spoiler is a trigger, so I spoilered it anyway
    If you're gna read the spoiler in the hope of it being a trigger, then you're a douche and should get off this thread.
    Spoiler:
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    Things were going well and I was all 'Eurgh why would I want to eat apples all day/purge my dinner' & then in the past week and a half I've lost 5lbs


    Literally just before my brain started clicking into action about what VEGETABLE I was only going to eat tomorrow. Then remembered this thread and was like... K Lauren please don't go down that road you don't want to be ill anymore remember?

    Going on holiday in two weeks with my mates and would love more than ever to be able to not be sick or eat nothing


    How is everyone doing? I hope Everyones doing well my loves
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    (Original post by Linweth)
    You did well though but I understand that it is most likely the perfectionism shining through here.... you're often thinking GRRR WHY NOT A FIRST?! No doubt that when we get firsts we'll be wondering why we cannot get higher and how they should make a higher one so we can aim for it.
    Yeah Spot on
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    had an awful day feel scared and confused


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    todays just been so hard and horrible. had an appointment and apparently my ED is back with a vengance. i know i need help but i still don't want to be going back to that place, when he said i need another bloodtest i just wanted to leave, i've had so many and i hate them, and i just feel like i'm starting from scratch all over again exept this time i have absolutely no control over it.

    i've been getting my calories through liquids over the past few days because of what i've been doing to myself recently i feel that actual food is too overwhelming, however my mum bought some crab sticks today and i love them so just wanted to try them so badly because i haven't eaten them in ages, but i didn't manage to keep them down - i ate more than i feel comfortable but i didn't binge which i guess i should be grateful for but i still feel bad.

    i'm scared, i want to go back to eating food again - at least something without letting it ruin my day, but today and the past 3 weeks has made it crystal clear i've messed with my brain so much that theres actually nothing i'm able to eat.

    i thought i had a throat infection but dr said its more likely to be that my glands have swelled up from continuous vomiting. i was too scared to mention about the sharp pains i've been getting in my chest i'm just so worried about what this is doing to me and i thought i was getting better i feel like i've just been slapped in the face i don't know how i can get better
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    had an awful day feel scared and confused


    Spoiler:
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    todays just been so hard and horrible. had an appointment and apparently my ED is back with a vengance. i know i need help but i still don't want to be going back to that place, when he said i need another bloodtest i just wanted to leave, i've had so many and i hate them, and i just feel like i'm starting from scratch all over again exept this time i have absolutely no control over it.

    i've been getting my calories through liquids over the past few days because of what i've been doing to myself recently i feel that actual food is too overwhelming, however my mum bought some crab sticks today and i love them so just wanted to try them so badly because i haven't eaten them in ages, but i didn't manage to keep them down - i ate more than i feel comfortable but i didn't binge which i guess i should be grateful for but i still feel bad.

    i'm scared, i want to go back to eating food again - at least something without letting it ruin my day, but today and the past 3 weeks has made it crystal clear i've messed with my brain so much that theres actually nothing i'm able to eat.

    i thought i had a throat infection but dr said its more likely to be that my glands have swelled up from continuous vomiting. i was too scared to mention about the sharp pains i've been getting in my chest i'm just so worried about what this is doing to me and i thought i was getting better i feel like i've just been slapped in the face i don't know how i can get better
    Spoiler:
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    Chest pains to me hint more towards damage to your oesophagus than damage to your heart. Electrolyte imbalance WOULD cause heart problems but I think that pain is more related to an attack of some sort.

    Darling, go see the doctor. You can request to not have the tests, but to be on the safe side I would say you should get your bloodwork done.

    You shouldn't be thinking about how screwed you are with the ED. STOP. Think about how you will get better. Thinking about the ED itself IS the issue because then you're not even thinking about recovering because your thinking about the ED issues. I know how difficult it is to do this but distract yourself when you get ED thoughts.

    I can't really give more advice, currently struggling a little myself but won't go too far into it. YOU are the important one in this post.


    So proud of people here!

    Aem, you are doing brilliantly in all aspects! God, do I feel jealous.

    Question, how did people pick what they were gonna study? How did you know that subject 'was for you'. Struggling a little picking a new Uni course. :bee2:

    P.S. I know the Smiley was random, but it was just so darn cute.

    Also how many Harry Potter fans on this thread? And how many are going internally crazy!

    Spoiler:
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    I CAN FEEL MY CHILDHOOD DRIFTING AWAY...
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    (Original post by Antiaris)
    Spoiler:
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    Chest pains to me hint more towards damage to your oesophagus than damage to your heart. Electrolyte imbalance WOULD cause heart problems but I think that pain is more related to an attack of some sort.

    Darling, go see the doctor. You can request to not have the tests, but to be on the safe side I would say you should get your bloodwork done.

    You shouldn't be thinking about how screwed you are with the ED. STOP. Think about how you will get better. Thinking about the ED itself IS the issue because then you're not even thinking about recovering because your thinking about the ED issues. I know how difficult it is to do this but distract yourself when you get ED thoughts.

    I can't really give more advice, currently struggling a little myself but won't go too far into it. YOU are the important one in this post.


    So proud of people here!

    Aem, you are doing brilliantly in all aspects! God, do I feel jealous.

    Question, how did people pick what they were gonna study? How did you know that subject 'was for you'. Struggling a little picking a new Uni course. :bee2:

    P.S. I know the Smiley was random, but it was just so darn cute.

    Also how many Harry Potter fans on this thread? And how many are going internally crazy!

    Spoiler:
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    I CAN FEEL MY CHILDHOOD DRIFTING AWAY...
    Spoiler:
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    i need to go to the doctor about my throat anyway tomorrow probably but i don't know whether to mention the Ed stuff because today i think they realised things are getting worse and my physical health is suffering along with my mental health so they already booked 2 more appointments with me this month

    and awh, no thats not true, if theres anything you need/want to talk about feel free, i'm here to listen.


    and with the university course thing, i know it's probably not aimed at me because i haven't started yet and don't know that i'm not going to hate it but i just thought of what i'm interested in because if i have to spend 3/4 years on something i need it to be something thats interesting, i then thought about where it would lead me in the future and whether i'd be happy with that as a career. although i picked psychology which is quite open really, because you get to choose what modules you do ie mental health, forensic, education and everything, also i took it for alevel and enjoyed it, and we actually did similar modules so i felt like i already had an insight into it and knew i liked reading about it.

    i want to be a DI when i'm older (have an obsession with the police force police programmes etc) and my original psychologist basically told me that unless i get better i have no chance
 
 
 
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