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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    I think i'm doing well, i'm trying to eat normally and focusing on the heath and nutritional value of the food i eat rather than the calories. today i snacked on dried fruit and nuts in yogurt, scared me to **** but i ate it and i'm full and it's not scary like it usually is. i WANT to be better and i WANT to be healthy. i'm fed up of settling for my life as this, because it isn't and shouldn't be this.

    i really think i'm going to crack it this time, and i'm not going to go back.
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    I think i'm doing well, i'm trying to eat normally and focusing on the heath and nutritional value of the food i eat rather than the calories. today i snacked on dried fruit and nuts in yogurt, scared me to **** but i ate it and i'm full and it's not scary like it usually is. i WANT to be better and i WANT to be healthy. i'm fed up of settling for my life as this, because it isn't and shouldn't be this.

    i really think i'm going to crack it this time, and i'm not going to go back.
    I don't know why, but reading this post really helped me. It suddenly made me see things differently. its weird. We def need more posts like this
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    (Original post by Sugarcandy)
    I don't know why, but reading this post really helped me. It suddenly made me see things differently. its weird. We def need more posts like this
    well that made me smile

    glad to have had a positive effect on someone.

    i'm going through a really tough time at the moment with friends and just worries etc, but i've just realised that by using my ED to cope, i was making everything worse. it's just helped me to see that without this i would be happier and a more balanced person, which is what i need. so i'm going to do everything i can to get better this time, everything.
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    well that made me smile

    glad to have had a positive effect on someone.

    i'm going through a really tough time at the moment with friends and just worries etc, but i've just realised that by using my ED to cope, i was making everything worse. it's just helped me to see that without this i would be happier and a more balanced person, which is what i need. so i'm going to do everything i can to get better this time, everything.
    :clap2::clap2::clap2::five::five::heart::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::godancing:
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    Spoiler:
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    Kay.

    Weight has stayed the same. BMI of 16-17 (I won't give a definite, so much tends to vary like water retention, exercise, etc). Bloods came back, one point of going into the dangerous territory with the Potassium count. Mildest bit Anemic. Likely to be lack of Vitamin B caused by stomach lining weakening and loss of intrinsic factor. Probably the explanation for my energy and motivation loss. Jesus, I do my homework.

    Low end of the scale on everything, with my blood pressure even being 80/40.


    I think it might be important that if we put things in spoiler tags that we say WHY they are in the spoilers. The above is just my recent med check.

    The nurse gave me a copy of the Minessota Experiment to read but as I've read it already I gave it to my Gran and she now understands why I've been going through these changes! So happy to have her understand a little about it. Also I think I've grown a little taller! (Because I look like a twonk with my ankles showing from my jeans all the time...) And also making bread! So many positives!

    How are the lovelies of this thread? Eating disorders are difficult to explain to family and friends, especially if they have not gone through something similar. How are all of you managing it?

    A few people have been talking to me lately, and the more I think about the more I think we all have SUCH potential. Almost all of the characteristics of an eating disorder would be positives if they were directed into other areas, if we can manage that we can manage anything!
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    well that made me smile

    glad to have had a positive effect on someone.

    i'm going through a really tough time at the moment with friends and just worries etc, but i've just realised that by using my ED to cope, i was making everything worse. it's just helped me to see that without this i would be happier and a more balanced person, which is what i need. so i'm going to do everything i can to get better this time, everything.
    Im sorry things are going badly for you but I am produ that you are still able to see past this and see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you keep on going like this, I promise you will be out of the tunnel before you know it!!!!!
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    Worried about Custard, she hasn't posted for a week now...anybody know how she is doing???
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    I'm also a bit concerned. Would everyone post how they're getting on just so I know we're all okay?
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I'm also a bit concerned. Would everyone post how they're getting on just so I know we're all okay?
    You doing ok?

    Up and down. Feeling great - started off the week great but now eating less than ever and finding it easier to eat less. Not good and will bite me in the bum.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I'm also a bit concerned. Would everyone post how they're getting on just so I know we're all okay?
    Are you ok Toto? :hugs: I was worrying about you.

    I've been meaning to post for a while but have been deleting pretty much every post.
    Not really too great at the moment tbh, been feeling really unwell in terms of general mental health so my eating is pretty dire right now. I'm ok though. Or I will be, anyway.

    :hugs: to everyone.
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I'm also a bit concerned. Would everyone post how they're getting on just so I know we're all okay?
    i thought i was doing great, i thought i could focus on eating healthily and leave it behind.

    i know it sounds stupid but now i don't know what i want, i feel confused i'm scared i'll miss that thing in my head and i'll be lost without it. i don't know what to say i just feel stuck.

    i really don't want to go for my blood test either i'm too scared plus i woke up this morning and my chest was killing me and it felt like breathing was a struggle - really don't know why

    i'm hoping for another change of heart, i just want to work out what i want and stick to it because battling against it is hard i'm trying to do 'the right thing' logically i know what that is, but then theres just this part that tells me different.
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    Hope everybody here is doing well.

    This may be slightly triggery, but it's a positive message! :yep:

    I've lost a little bit of weight again recently, but it's definitely due to work rather than deliberate loss. I've been doing really well for a while now - eating 3 or 4 meals a day and resisting the urge to bring it back up or harm myself any other way. I'm still not quite my desired weight - but I'm certainly a lot closer than I was. Two stone closer, actually. Admittedly, my internal problems still need some working out - but in terms of gaining and maintaining weight, things are going wonderfully.

    I can't lie, it's a scary process. Terrifying, even. When I started taking recovery seriously, I had a sense of dread and guilt over the mere thought of eating an entire meal. Afterwards, I felt utterly worthless. Not fit to be of this world. Now, I still feel uneasy and nervous, but I genuinely feel a sense of relief and pride wash over me every time I finish another meal. Guilt and shame are still present, but they're slowly being taken over by these new, happy feelings.

    I'm not completely at ease with myself yet, of course it's going to take a long time.. but I've made so much progress within the past month. I can't actually believe it myself. I just wanted to let people know that there is hope for us all, yes things are difficult and bloody unbearable most of the time, but we can fight back and achieve so much, if we really try. I honestly feel great. I feel... healthy. That was a dirty word to me before, absolutely hated it. But now, I feel great when somebody tells me I'm "glowing" or I look well. It's no longer such a bad thing. It;s a strange thing, but nothing to be ashamed of anymore.

    I feel... good. I fell well.
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    (Original post by souldoubt)
    I feel... good. I fell well.
    Yayyyy go soul!!!! You rock :hugs: And you're a mod!
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    (Original post by Cinamon)
    Yayyyy go soul!!!! You rock :hugs: And you're a mod!
    :love:

    I am indeed!

    :whip:
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    So proud of you! :jumphug: Best of luck with the surgery- nothing major I hope? Take care of yourself and I wish you a speedy recovery!
    xxxx
    Thank youu It was fine, the surgery I had does classify as 'major' but it wasn't too bad, a couple of complications and severe dizziness but I'm getting better now (Sorry for being so vague, don't want to be specific as it's a pretty rare operation and I don't want people to recognise me lol :rolleyes: )

    Hope everyone's well, I've been kind of lurking but not really as I haven't been able to read for long without losing my balance and falling sideways lol. I'm kind of like when you have a baby learning to balance and you have to surround them with cushions in case they topple over Won't go into all the eating crap post-surgery but I think I handled it better than I have done with previous operations/hospital stays so I guess that's good? The nurses were all aware of my ED this time so they were more tactful, kept an eye on me and made sure I ate at least one meal a day, if not two. Don't know if this is spoilery at all but anyway
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    I'm home now, but I just hate it because I'm hardly moving at all at the moment so I have barely any appetite and feel even guiltier than normal when I do eat as I don't feel like I need it. Plus my friends keep bringing me chocolate and ice cream which I know I shouldn't eat because I know I'm a million times more likely to relapse if I start eating my old 'banned' foods before I'm really comfortable with eating normal foods like toast etc but then I eat it with them anyway because it's a present and blah blahblahh *rambles* :rolleyes:


    Is custard okay, anyone heard from her?
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    (Original post by Kebabbi)
    Is custard okay, anyone heard from her?
    Yay PM'd custard on... thurs iirc. Haven't yet recieved a response. I'm not normally one to be an optimist, but I'm hoping she's doing so well food wise & getting on well with the other people there that she's having so much fun she doesn't have enough hours in the day to update us/ doesn't need us atm.

    instead of the reverse happening and the reason she's not about is because she's not allowed/able to.
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    It might be that she is trying to distance herself from us, to distance herself further from the ED.

    I know it might suck not exactly knowing, but if it is this I would be so happy and proud anyway!
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    I agree that if it's working for her to stay away from here, then I wholeheartedly endorse she keeps it up! As for you guys; I know we all have blips but I beam with pride that you have the face, pride and strength to come on here and post regardless.

    I for one have had an incredibly difficult couple of weeks. Having to consume more than 2000 calories, I have also hit the drink a bit too. I'm obviously a bit of a lightweight; a couple of beers KOs me, really - but the fact is, I'm using it to dull my mind in order to allow me to say "come on now, you've not made up your calories today. Get it down ya, boy!" (said like the chocolate Weetabix dog in that creepy voice, of course).

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    I am hovering around the 97lb mark, which is about 7 stones. I am still not quite 16 BMI. But I am noticing a far more plump torso. More jelly-like. It's plaguing me and I am starting to get a bit freaked by it. Of course, in the grand scheme of things I've gained like 2-3KG since the beginning of my recovery and it's not a HUGE amount - after all, I'm a 5'7 male, I should weigh about 9 stones plus.

    I can post a new picture shortly.

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    Looking forward to seeing a recent pic
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I agree that if it's working for her to stay away from here, then I wholeheartedly endorse she keeps it up! As for you guys; I know we all have blips but I beam with pride that you have the face, pride and strength to come on here and post regardless.

    I for one have had an incredibly difficult couple of weeks. Having to consume more than 2000 calories, I have also hit the drink a bit too. I'm obviously a bit of a lightweight; a couple of beers KOs me, really - but the fact is, I'm using it to dull my mind in order to allow me to say "come on now, you've not made up your calories today. Get it down ya, boy!" (said like the chocolate Weetabix dog in that creepy voice, of course).

    Spoiler:
    Show

    I am hovering around the 97lb mark, which is about 7 stones. I am still not quite 16 BMI. But I am noticing a far more plump torso. More jelly-like. It's plaguing me and I am starting to get a bit freaked by it. Of course, in the grand scheme of things I've gained like 2-3KG since the beginning of my recovery and it's not a HUGE amount - after all, I'm a 5'7 male, I should weigh about 9 stones plus.

    I can post a new picture shortly.

    Well done for being strong, Toto.

    and thank you, because if it wasn't for this thread.. I wouldn't have even thought about recovery - I wouldn't be as well as I am now. :hugs:
 
 
 
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