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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    (Original post by Antiaris)
    Okay, after counting maybe just over 2500 but still, I'm ever the optimist!

    Kebabbi, you ain't in that struggle alone. We are so USED to ED eating that we take it as normal to eat like the ED is still in control BECAUSE WE DON'T REALLY KNOW WHATDIFFERENT EATING IS YET.

    If you worry about eating what you intend on eating a food diary might help but there is only one solution. Bloody eating what we intend to! The ED pounces back into position if we say, 'oh missed that one, will just skip onto next'. What we need to do is to go back and EAT that thing anyway and THEN what we further had planned. Tough, I know, but we must soldier on!
    Meh, I'm sure you can just round it up to 3000

    Thanks, very true! I know I just need to man up about it but I just forget... but I will get back on track
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    Also, I've noticed that whenever I lose weight I start to get really bad heartburn, anyone else experienced this?
    • #37
    #37

    The heating up thing happened to me when I was first starting to recover, especially at night. My face would go bright red (not the best thing when your out... :P)

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    I'm on holiday with family at the moment. Finding it a bit triggering and therefore very scary because I was doing really well. I am surrounded by family and people who don't know about my past and assume because I am not open everything in my life is fine :\ A lot of my family have had a hard time and so figure I must be the 'lucky one', when I HAVE had it hard…
    I probably react to people’s remarks about me a bit too much but to be honest its really hard for me if someone complains or comments negatively about me. It puts me onto a downward spiral. I suppose I need to get over it...
    Sorry to be on such a downer!!! It is just a lot easier to get my feelings out on this….
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    Hey anon,
    try to enjoy your holiday and focus on what you are enjoying doing and getting all those new experiences in.

    Toto, Kebabbi and Antiaris,
    You are doing so well! I am in awe of your knowledge Antiaris! Don't forget guys, its going to be a hot and humid one this week. Make sure you're drinking enough - try and make them count too And try not to let the heat affect what you're eating. I know that it can make people less hungry, but you guys have to take your 'medicine'!
    If it helps, I have to take my mine too (in traditional pill form) even though they make me feel crappy and I'm on them for life! (Heart problems, depression and anxiety suck majorly!)
    (((All)))
    • #45
    #45

    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    A question extended to all sufferers of an ED, and perhaps I'm needing reassurance.

    It's completely irrational and nonsensical but I feel my body is getting bigger and softer as I continue to increase my intake of food. However the number on the scales isn't budging. This is INCREDIBLY frustrating because as all of you will attest, this is the OPPOSITE of what I want to happen. I want to put on weight but NOT get flab, but in reality I'm just gaining flab but no physical weight. Why is this?

    Lying Bathroom Scales?
    Body Dysmorphia?
    Increased Body Fat/Decreased Muscle Mass?
    Sodium Bloat?

    All of the above?

    It's crazy how this can play with your mind.
    I'm am so glad I am not the only one that feels like this. Your not alone. I'm in my third month as an out-patient at a day hospital for ED's and I'm following a meal plan my dietician has given me but I seriously feel as though I am gaining alot of flab especially around my middle. I on the other hand am restrained from weighing myself which I think is adding even more to the anxiety that I am. There is some days I wake up and swear I've gained half a stone over night. My pysch assures me that this is normal for eating disorder sufferers in recovery, It's a sly way of the voice trying to pull you back into your old ways. But DO NOT fall for it. Alot of this is due to bloating too. My body has been in starvation for 6 years, and all of a sudden it's beginning to have regular meals, It's totally mixed up with what I am doing. Stick at what you are doing, nobody said it would be easy, don't let ED mess with your mind.

    Take care!
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    Well, today was difficult.

    I hate the feel of being stuck somewhere and as University has been put on hold for the moment I am getting MAJOR stuck feelings. I had a panic attack earlier because of it. Not good. Instantly feelings of wanting to throw up came up again... But I stopped it. I distracted myself. I painted a picture with THICK paint, full of strong-bold colours and it helped! I know I shouldn't have but I DID do a little exercise to try and get rid of some of the feelings but honestly I'm just glad I didn't vomit!

    All is still good in the world!

    I'm also popping this in here as it might trigger some for some odd reason;

    Anybody here getting oedema? I'm getting a LOT of water weight problems at the moment, I know that. I've HAD water weight for a while but things are getting a little worse, my hands and feet turned purple with pressure last night because of it. @[email protected]'

    Anybody got tips?


    I hope everybody is okay here, things seem kinda silent on this thread now. Have people been good and eating lots?

    Heck, probably things are silent because people are enjoying the good weather!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm am so glad I am not the only one that feels like this. Your not alone. I'm in my third month as an out-patient at a day hospital for ED's and I'm following a meal plan my dietician has given me but I seriously feel as though I am gaining alot of flab especially around my middle. I on the other hand am restrained from weighing myself which I think is adding even more to the anxiety that I am. There is some days I wake up and swear I've gained half a stone over night. My pysch assures me that this is normal for eating disorder sufferers in recovery, It's a sly way of the voice trying to pull you back into your old ways. But DO NOT fall for it. Alot of this is due to bloating too. My body has been in starvation for 6 years, and all of a sudden it's beginning to have regular meals, It's totally mixed up with what I am doing. Stick at what you are doing, nobody said it would be easy, don't let ED mess with your mind.

    Take care!
    To you and Antiaris, many thanks for your words of reason!

    I got measured today so I know that my proportions HAVE changed. My arms are the same. Skeletally small. My neck is the same. Tiny. My chest is the same. But my lower abdomen? Two inches bigger. And I have zero definition in it any more, it's just a... mass. But everyone keeps saying "Keep going!"

    "You're doing great!"

    But to me, it just seems like I'm getting a pot belly, not really... well, gaining mass as such.

    I guess this was the stage I was told about that would be the most difficult - as anorexics tend to centre most of their attention around the midriff, legs and backside... the places where fat deposits immediately for later distribution. Meaning it's a double-threat of anxieties.

    Antiaris I hope you're faring a little better this evening and to all of you with equal worries, please remain strong. We can be each others' spines throughout this when we feel we cannot support ourselves - we can learn our backbones to each other!

    XXX
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    To you and Antiaris, many thanks for your words of reason!

    I got measured today so I know that my proportions HAVE changed. My arms are the same. Skeletally small. My neck is the same. Tiny. My chest is the same. But my lower abdomen? Two inches bigger. And I have zero definition in it any more, it's just a... mass. But everyone keeps saying "Keep going!"

    "You're doing great!"

    But to me, it just seems like I'm getting a pot belly, not really... well, gaining mass as such.

    I guess this was the stage I was told about that would be the most difficult - as anorexics tend to centre most of their attention around the midriff, legs and backside... the places where fat deposits immediately for later distribution. Meaning it's a double-threat of anxieties.

    Antiaris I hope you're faring a little better this evening and to all of you with equal worries, please remain strong. We can be each others' spines throughout this when we feel we cannot support ourselves - we can learn our backbones to each other!

    XXX
    You're so brave, Tommy! It's nice to see you being so strong mentally and slowly getting physically stronger too!!
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    :lurk: :cry:

    You're all great
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    :lurk:

    Yet another one. After looking through some of the posts, it seems like you're all doing really well. Keep up the good work guys!
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    Aww guys I'm getting guilty again, I ate 100g of Liquorice Allsorts today and I wasn't even hungry or up to them. I'm also getting a preoccupation with how my face looks leaner having started exercising again, worried that this could go beyond a random bout of vanity and trigger a relapse
    Sorry for the downer I just feel kinda bad from it and know that second bit definitely needs to be changed : /
    On the other hand I've got a new record with swimming (60 lengths) and might be starting a band soon with a couple of mates, not to mention it's a beautiful day : ) how's everyone else doing out there?
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    Hi guys - I am in recovery from Anorexia, tho I have suffered now for 5 years - I have started a recovery blog as I really don't think there is enough out their on the internet for those trying to manage their illness and get on with their lives - PLEASE visit and comment on the blog - I really want people to know about it and gain strength from it!! There is also an email address on there that you can send suggestions to etc!!

    Keep strong...... Sarah xxx

    http://believeinyourselfandmagicwill...wordpress.com/
    • #46
    #46

    Panicking like ****. Have no excuse and have to eat a big roast dinner around the table with lots of family. Just keep telling myself 'don't make a scene don't draw attention to yourself'
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Panicking like ****. Have no excuse and have to eat a big roast dinner around the table with lots of family. Just keep telling myself 'don't make a scene don't draw attention to yourself'
    :hugs: I don't know if you've had it yet but if you haven't, just keep calm, drink a sip of water every so often and if you start panicking find an excuse to get up i.e. go to the loo, get something from the kitchen etc. Hope it's okay!
    • #46
    #46

    (Original post by Kebabbi)
    :hugs: I don't know if you've had it yet but if you haven't, just keep calm, drink a sip of water every so often and if you start panicking find an excuse to get up i.e. go to the loo, get something from the kitchen etc. Hope it's okay!
    Had it. I managed lamb and even a sugary drink :woo:
    Tbh I needed it - have been collapsing and know it's low blood sugar - and now I feel so different. Keep telling myself I don't have to earn it :yepL
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    Well done you! To be honest, it's difficult to see food as anything but poison when your mind has conditioned you to think that way. Calories are just a measurement of heat energy but to us, it's a cruel numerical system that, the higher you take in, the worse/naughtier you have been today. The truth is, for normal, non-ED suffering minds, food is simply fuel, but for us it's actually more important - food is actually our medicine too.

    Try to see it as such. It's not only the petrol going into the car, but it's also the metal panelling used to mend the engine that you've made so rusty and broken with your disease too!
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    Hmmmm - has anyone been offered olanzapine?
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    (Original post by Cinamon)
    Hmmmm - has anyone been offered olanzapine?
    I am currently on 7.5mg of Olanzepine daily. I also take Fluoxetene. Why, are you being prescribed it?
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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I am currently on 7.5mg of Olanzepine daily. I also take Fluoxetene. Why, are you being prescribed it?
    I will be if I loose another stone within 3-4 weeks

    edit: well, possibly. Maybe just another SSRI. But they don't seem to like me.
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    And quite *why* would you be losing another stone? Don't let me get angry at you. We're all making a tremendous effort to be getting better. I for example managed to get up above the seven stone mark and my head's going "AAAARGH!" but it's FOR MY OWN GOOD.

    Remember the ED wants you dead. It wants to be your only "friend", isolate you from all the things you love in the world, and envelope you in it's cold, empty, ED-only one. If you're letting it take you by the hand back into that place, then YOU have to be the one to make the proper actions.

    I'm sorry if I seem harsh but it's the absolute truth. You lose more weight equals you get more medication, you get unhealthy, you get put into hospital, you get very sick, you die. That's ALL that can come of indulging your ED.

    The Olanzepine may actually help you. It sedated my anxieties and allowed me to "get on with things." Just stop sabotaging your own recovery with these thoughts of "losing more." Deal?
 
 
 
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