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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    is it naive to think i'm recovered ?

    i really think i am
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    It was a big if toto :yep: but thanks - I don't directly plan on loosing anything at the moment

    (Original post by squiff93)
    is it naive to think i'm recovered ?

    i really think i am
    Well done squiff - you don't have to decide that yet... just keep doing what you're doing and recognise any negative signs if they come about

    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Cinamon)
    It was a big if toto :yep: but thanks - I don't directly plan on loosing anything at the moment



    Well done squiff - you don't have to decide that yet... just keep doing what you're doing and recognise any negative signs if they come about

    :hugs:
    thanks

    i'm a bit of an all or nothing type person which is why i need to tell myself i'm completely better. if i think 'i'm getting there' i'll find it too easy to go back to my old ways.

    a question about fluoxetine - i've been perscribed it by my doctor but have stopped taking it and really really don't want to take it should i tell my doctor i'm not going to take it or should i just tell them i am taking it?
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    thanks

    i'm a bit of an all or nothing type person which is why i need to tell myself i'm completely better. if i think 'i'm getting there' i'll find it too easy to go back to my old ways.

    a question about fluoxetine - i've been perscribed it by my doctor but have stopped taking it and really really don't want to take it should i tell my doctor i'm not going to take it or should i just tell them i am taking it?
    Definately tell them you've stopped taking it - they can't make you take it so there is no point lying to them.
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    I've been adopted by this amazing bossy French lady and her daughter. They invited me and my sister for crepes and made me a vegetable and rice dish. I'm panicking like mad because I'd eaten more in the past 7 days than I have in the past 9 months but I'm trying to tell myself this is good. Pan au chocolat is delicious. I shouldn't be crying about my thighs in Paris! Going for a bike ride with my new friends and then going to see Tour Montparnasse. I don't are about results anymore. I'll move to Paris and become a pastry chef! Hope you're all ok!
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    Diamonddust GOOD ON YE lass! Your body, mind and spirit is craving this new experience and perhaps this corner you're walking around is going to unveil a brand new vista for you to see... perhaps your mind might click like a lightswitch and you learn to appreciate living again. X
    • #47
    #47

    thank you for this thread. I am going through a similar situation. my eating has made me lose many friends and how "fat" i feel dictates my mood. I am stuck playing a sport - pretending to be and athlete when all i want is to be thinner. I cannot perform well but i cant stop playing as i know i will get fat. I dont know how to change this....
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    I dm so don't with my eating
    !
    • #48
    #48

    I'm sorry, I don't know if I should be here :ninja:

    I worry quite a bit that I may be heading down a bad path with eating. Whilst I don't exercise very often (in fact I'm fairly lazy in that respect) and I don't restrict most of the time I find it really hard to think about what I've eaten/am going to eat and often find myself panicking. When I look in the mirror I just see a fat blob that's got no muscle tone, just fat. Logically, my BMI is around 21 so I'm right in the middle of my weight range but I feel like a whale and like I have a BMI closer to 30. I see nothing but faults. I keep a food diary sporadically and occasionally I'll get obsessed with weighing/tracking my food and weighing/exercising etc. every day. I have target weights and goals and I never achieve them because I'm no way near dedicated (how absurd that sounds, but it feels like the right word) enough to be the beautiful person I want to be. I go out and drink most nights so that I can just lose my anxieties and enjoy myself. I've already decided when I leave in September that I'll start on a series of diets and exercise regimes, and that I'll stick to it all and by Christmas reach my first goal weight. If someone offers me food I take it without hesitation - and then mentally torture myself for it for hours afterwards. I have no self control.
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    (Original post by squiff93)
    thanks

    i'm a bit of an all or nothing type person which is why i need to tell myself i'm completely better. if i think 'i'm getting there' i'll find it too easy to go back to my old ways.

    a question about fluoxetine - i've been perscribed it by my doctor but have stopped taking it and really really don't want to take it should i tell my doctor i'm not going to take it or should i just tell them i am taking it?
    I don't want to rain on your parade but when I've been that decisive before it's tended to end badly... when I say 'yes I'm completely better now, I can eat whatever I like whenever I like' it's great for the first couple of weeks but the sudden onslaught of a lot of 'danger' foods becomes overwhelming and I've always relapsed (the ED thought pattern being that the opposite of 'I'm completely better' is 'I'm completely ill again, I can't eat anything')

    I'm not saying that will happen to you and it's great that you're being optimistic but it might be easier in the long-term not to think too much about it at all, just think 'I'm recovering, yesterday was a good day, today will be a good day' maybe? Lovely that you're doing better though
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    I don't think you can be entirely, completely "recovered".

    You cannot unlearn the things, conditions, informations you've learned.

    But what you CAN do is use what you've learned channelled into a positive manner. For example, you know the calories in everything and used to use that information to limit heavily your intake. Why not use that information to calculate a healthy intake? Have some fun with your mental database of calorie-counts!

    Anonymous, that is the mentality of someone with body dysmorphic disorder, and the behaviours you're exhibiting are the precursors to anorexia nervosa. What's worth noting is that you say you have "no self control", but you have the thoughts and feelings. The control comes later. But that's a bad thing. Like a hand on your neck, it grasps tighter and tighter as you learn to restrict bit by bit. It doesn't happen all at once. Perhaps you learn to eat a lot of low-calorie foods. Then you learn to do that, but skip lunch. Then you replace another meal with a snack. And so on, and so forth.

    It's a dangerous point you're at, and you need to chat to your GP about it immediately.
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    All I ate/drank yesterday was green tea until 7pm when I had some veg. I went to bed but awoke in the night and had a crisp sandwich (wtf?!) I literally had to hold on to my bed to stop myself from running to the bathroom and throwing it up.

    I think it was the day before yesterday when I realised something needed to be done about my bulimia and I started throwing up a lot of blood (I have been bulimic about 4 years but right now it is the worse it has ever been).

    To make matters worse I have a date tonight and we are eating out. Great.

    I am so ****ed in the head.
    • #49
    #49

    Hi
    I've lurked on this thread for a while but never knew what to say. I've had an eating disorder on and off between 13 and 18. When I was younger, the weight dropped off really quickly when I tried. Since 14/15 though, I've had a lot of trouble getting any off at all- I have thyroid problems so it's possibly due to this. It's quite hard to explain- I obsess over calories, eat below my calculated BMR and have done for over a year and run for 1.5 hours most days but whilst I feel the physical consequences of this (pale, lightheaded with blurred vision when I stand, shaky), my weight stays relatively constant- I've tried so hard to lose weight and did lose 9lbs over the year and a half but I've been stuck at BMI 20 for what seems like ages now.

    I'd kind of accepted that but I just found out that I have to get my thyroid removed in a couple of weeks as it has a large tumour which is growing quickly- I understand that it's necessary but at the same time, it's going to mess my mind up again. The thyroid gland controls metabolism, so from what I've read, when that's gone, even with hormone replacement tablets, weight gain is inevitable- I've read a lot of stories online and most of the people mentioned that they gained at least 10-15lbs in the first year. I'll try very hard to avoid the weight gain and control what I eat very carefully but I don't know how effective that will be- I wouldn't know how to cope with that much weight gain and I know it's a silly thing to worry about when there are more serious side-effects that the operation could lead to but at the same time, I can't stop thinking about it.
    • #50
    #50

    I don't even care about my weight that much, but purging seems to relieve stress My teeth have started hurting, I'm so scared they might fall out or get damaged for life.
    • #51
    #51

    would anyone here be so kind as to let me PM them?
    I really don't want to reveal my 'identity' I guess because I post on TSR a lot and I know someone on here too.

    but anyway, I'd really like to talk to someone about this (my eating/weight issues etc).
    • Thread Starter
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    I am always available to message. I may not always get back to you instantly but I will always respond to ED-related messages.
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    Oh yeah, and purging? It's not only incredibly damaging to your throat, stomach and even lungs (destroys the oesophagus and the acids are incredibly detrimental to the bronchial tubes when it inevitably recedes - the stomach loses its lining more quickly than it can replace it, resulting in ulcers) but it utterly ANNIHILATES teeth.

    Moreover it's wholly pointless. Please note that, within the first few minutes of consumption of food, the "quick release" or "easy digest" nutrients are already passing through for absorption leaving the more difficult stuff in the stomach pouch for digestion - meaning you're effectively purging up the goodness but you've already really absorbed the stuff you thought you didn't want to take in.

    Read up on it - by the time you've taken off to go and purge, you've already taken in most of the condensed nutritional value, making it a whole lot of heartache for very marginal difference.
    • #50
    #50

    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Oh yeah, and purging? It's not only incredibly damaging to your throat, stomach and even lungs (destroys the oesophagus and the acids are incredibly detrimental to the bronchial tubes when it inevitably recedes - the stomach loses its lining more quickly than it can replace it, resulting in ulcers) but it utterly ANNIHILATES teeth.

    Moreover it's wholly pointless. Please note that, within the first few minutes of consumption of food, the "quick release" or "easy digest" nutrients are already passing through for absorption leaving the more difficult stuff in the stomach pouch for digestion - meaning you're effectively purging up the goodness but you've already really absorbed the stuff you thought you didn't want to take in.

    Read up on it - by the time you've taken off to go and purge, you've already taken in most of the condensed nutritional value, making it a whole lot of heartache for very marginal difference.
    I know it doesn't make any sense, and I don't do it to lose weight either! It just feels good... I can't describe the feeling, but when I'm a bit shaky and my stomach is empty and I'm out of breath from all the purging I feel so much more alive... It's an addictive feeling
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    i'm sorry about this message - i'm so confused i feel mind ****ed maybe don't read it just wanted to get it said

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    i've managed to eat so much, i've had loads of meals out and chosen whatever and been completely normal about it - or as normal as i guess i'm ever going to be. i don't know whether i want 'it' anymore i know that what i'm doing isn't safe and i might lose control completely. the other day in a resturant i had a hot chocolate with cream and i felt so terrible like someone had stabbed me and then i went and cried in the toilet.

    i'm considering introducing some of my rules so i can avoid the guilt that i've felt at losing control and not listening.

    i feel so depressed mentally really really unstable - i keep getting drunk and mindlessly taking a lot of paracetamol and stuff. why can't i be normal - why does nothing help and nothing work!!!!!!
    • #52
    #52

    I am looking at this from a different perspective. I broke up with my boyfriend in September of last year, and I have put on a stone and a half since. And I am worried I will put more on. I was happy around 9st but now I am getting a tummy and I have always had big thighs. I feel like my health is getting affected as i'm more tired and not as strong as I used to be. My best friend lost A LOT of weight around the same time as I started putting it on. Which made me more reluctant to lose it. But now I want to. I want to be healthy, but I don't think i'll have the will to do it without being strict and very ordered. I am not looking at going below 8st 7lbs and would like to eat healthily and exercise.
 
 
 
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