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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

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    Dude yu have one life, if yu dnt eat food an enjoy it (it is the best feeling yur muth will ever have ;D) whats the point wakin up in the morning..mmm mumz cooking! (Y)
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    Howdy precious people!

    Just dropping in to give you all general kudos and snaps for being such ace human beings. Seriously, the way you all encourage and support each other is just a marvel to behold. Makes me feel a little teary at times in fact (though I am an extreme wet-blanket). Never change!

    I've set myself a jolly little target: Gain 5 lbs before uni restarts at the end of September, which will take me to a 17.7 BMI (and thus out of the officially 'anorexic' diagnostic categorium). I've been f*cking about in recovery stagnation for too long and it's just a sorry state of affairs. I AM TIRED OF IT. I need to stop fannying about waiting for some lightbulb moment of enlightenment to elicit the 'perfect' moment for a 'perfect' recovery, all the while watching my life wasting away. In simple terms, I just don't want to be an anorexic anymore. So I will be fighting a bit harder from now on wish me luck!

    P.s. Happy Birthday Toto! Have a spectacular day/evening.
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    Cloppy that is a fantastic post i am sure you can do it, maybe this IS your lightbulb moment
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    ^ whaa thanks morrisman! Maybe it is..I feel all energised for recovery and rarrr I'm a tiger etc etc
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    Great stuff Cloppy!

    Rubixcoob, I'm sorry that things are difficult. However, you have got to start thinking about your son. He is completely dependent on you and f*****g about with not eating and on and off the scales daily is miserable for you both. It is literally in your own hands. have you taken a look at the book that I recommended? Here is a review from the US site:

    This is a heartwrenching tale of a young boy whose mother, suffering from a then-rare disease called anorexia, spent literally years institutionalized with her illness. As a result, the author, Daniel, never formed the appropriate bonds with her and other members of his family. The focus was always on his mother and her illness, which no one understood. While I found Daniel's perspective interesting and touching (and often agonizing), I was left wanting to get into the Mother's mind (as much as that would have been possible), and into the heart of her history with anorexia to understand more about why she succumbed to this baffling disease. Luckily, great strides have been made both in psychiatry and in eating disorder treatment since Daniel's mother was in "treatment". While this is a good read for anyone who has a loved one suffering from anorexia, it is frustratingly sparse in any explanations for the etiology of this women's disorder, focusing instead on the devastating effects on the immediate family. If you are an ED sufferer, read with caution...this tale is very guilt-inducing. Although, as one commenter pointed out, guilt in this case may not be such a negative thing. Anorexia is a disease of not just the sufferer but also those who love him/her and it's impact on ones' child is always heart-renching.
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    Raaaww
    Go cloppy!!
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    Euch....

    Some days... You can feel all energised, you can say you beat the ED, you can resist all purging and restricting feelings. Then you end the day by chewing gum. With Sucralose. You feel ill. You check the wrapper. You feel kinda daft for not having checked before.

    The only bloody sweetener I avoid because it makes my entire body do a 'pleasant' little flush for the next 24 hours after consumption.

    Prolly won't see you guys for the next 24hrs. Good luck all!
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    (Original post by twinkle.x)
    Dude yu have one life, if yu dnt eat food an enjoy it (it is the best feeling yur muth will ever have ;D) whats the point wakin up in the morning..mmm mumz cooking! (Y)
    :sigh: Please don't comment on things you don't understand.


    Happy birthday Toto! Hope you had a great time!


    Cloopy, well done! And good luck!
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    :sigh: Please don't comment on things you don't understand.
    They might not understand, but it's a bit harsh to get so many negs just because they were trying to be positive. Obviously it's not that simple, but their heart was in the right place
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    (Original post by Amwazicles)
    They might not understand, but it's a bit harsh to get so many negs just because they were trying to be positive. Obviously it's not that simple, but their heart was in the right place
    True. But still... slightly misplaced I think, even though the poster's intentions were good. I didn't neg her, but I think I was a little bit tetchy and it's a particular annoyance of mine when people talk about how wonderful food is like this is just a case of not liking food, I get enough of that at home! I might have been a bit overhasty/impatient with my comment but the 'What's the point of getting up in the morning' part of the comment is mostly what got at me because it hit a nerve! I think the same thing everyday and that was the part that irked me. :sigh: I was a little... OK... very snappy! Sorry poster! Just wasn't in the best of moods as it was. Also, it's kind of annoying to have someone come on and claim to have the answers! I know that *really* isn't what was intended but to me it read like: 'Eat something nice and you'll feel better. How can you live without food?' As in it's not a life worth living. Which we all know. Maybe that's just me? I don't know. I'm just kind of weary and I suppose that came through in my comment. I'm sorry about the negs though, I only neg people who are bigoted.
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    True. But still... slightly misplaced I think, even though the poster's intentions were good. I didn't neg her, but I think I was a little bit tetchy and it's a particular annoyance of mine when people talk about how wonderful food is like this is just a case of not liking food, I get enough of that at home! I might have been a bit overhasty/impatient with my comment but the 'What's the point of getting up in the morning' part of the comment is mostly what got at me because it hit a nerve! I think the same thing everyday and that was the part that irked me. :sigh: I was a little... OK... very snappy! Sorry poster! Just wasn't in the best of moods as it was. Also, it's kind of annoying to have someone come on and claim to have the answers! I know that *really* isn't what was intended but to me it read like: 'Eat something nice and you'll feel better. How can you live without food?' As in it's not a life worth living. Which we all know. Maybe that's just me? I don't know. I'm just kind of weary and I suppose that came through in my comment. I'm sorry about the negs though, I only neg people who are bigoted.
    That's fair enough I can understand why it would have hit a nerve like that. I know how you feel too, people claiming to understand can get irritating, but I suppose it's good to try and absorb the positive bits of what they said and ignore any slightly inaccurate or irritating bits :rolleyes:.

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    She might not have meant to come across as trying to understand etc etc. If you take it as 'Life's too bloody short, to torture yourself over doing something you need to do- i.e eat'. Then shes trying to be positive/ give us a kick up the arse.
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    (Original post by .snowflake.)
    She might not have meant to come across as trying to understand etc etc. If you take it as 'Life's too bloody short, to torture yourself over doing something you need to do- i.e eat'. Then shes trying to be positive/ give us a kick up the arse.
    Yeah that's true.
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    I have to say, I am very touched by all the birthday love! But I apologise that the following post is one of fear and nervousness. Just in case it has any triggering content I'll spoiler it.

    Spoiler:
    Show


    I had my "Birthday party day" today, instead of yesterday, as everyone was here and available. We all went to Jimmy Chungs Chinese Buffet and I threw caution to the wind and went, "screw it!" and had three BIG plates; a little bit of everything! One starter, one main, and a bit of cake with more Mr Whippy than I can explain. EASILY 3000 calories in one meal.

    Then tonight my family brought out a lovely big birthday cake and proposed a toast to how "well I've done today", so I had a beer for the toast and a piece of my cake too. All in all I reckon I'm hovering around having eaten 4000 kcal. I normally have 2000 even on my recovery.

    Now that the "party time" is over, I'm sitting here fretting beyond belief at how much I've consumed in what essentially is... well, junk food! Chinese, cake, ice cream, beer; I usually eat only "safe" food like veggies and fish, quorn and cereals. One day of just utter gluttony has made me start crying, and why?! I'm a 27 year old man and I weigh like 7 stone something. But I'm devastated in myself.

    It hurts because I had such a nice day.

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    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    I have to say, I am very touched by all the birthday love! But I apologise that the following post is one of fear and nervousness. Just in case it has any triggering content I'll spoiler it.

    Spoiler:
    Show


    I had my "Birthday party day" today, instead of yesterday, as everyone was here and available. We all went to Jimmy Chungs Chinese Buffet and I threw caution to the wind and went, "screw it!" and had three BIG plates; a little bit of everything! One starter, one main, and a bit of cake with more Mr Whippy than I can explain. EASILY 3000 calories in one meal.

    Then tonight my family brought out a lovely big birthday cake and proposed a toast to how "well I've done today", so I had a beer for the toast and a piece of my cake too. All in all I reckon I'm hovering around having eaten 4000 kcal. I normally have 2000 even on my recovery.

    Now that the "party time" is over, I'm sitting here fretting beyond belief at how much I've consumed in what essentially is... well, junk food! Chinese, cake, ice cream, beer; I usually eat only "safe" food like veggies and fish, quorn and cereals. One day of just utter gluttony has made me start crying, and why?! I'm a 27 year old man and I weigh like 7 stone something. But I'm devastated in myself.

    It hurts because I had such a nice day.

    My only tip is try to concentrate on the day and not the food. The food wasn't the highlight, it was the fact that everyone came together to celebrate YOU. When you think of the meals think more about the people you were with and the atmosphere that you were in, not what was on your plate. It isn't important. There are more important things in your life.




    Side note; Huzzah! Sucralose didn't give me a 24-hour sickness! Just made me puke and I have MORE than made up for it today! Sadly it has put my 'speed up metabolism' battle into a bit of a setback but there is no 'giving up because the game ain't fair'. This is life. Push forward. Make up for the blip. Try and make up metabolism speed lost. Eat. Exercise. Eat more. Have a cold/hot shower. Eat a bit more. Speed that thyroid gland back UP!
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    (Original post by Antiaris)
    So tell the ED to F*** off, this is your territory. You may be a cat in a wolf pack, but you are a F***ing TIGER.

    Because weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee're GREAT!
    You are awesome.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Was just about to be sick but this stopped me.. thank you :hugs:
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    Found a few things I'd written in my old diary that aren't triggering! :eek3:

    Recovery: A return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.
    Convalescence: gradual healing; the act of regaining or saving something lost.

    I found this when I was in my writing (awful) haiku stage. I'm not sure who wrote it but I think it's amazing.

    Autobiography in five short chapters.

    CHAPTER 1
    I walk down the street
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
    I fall in.
    I am lost...I am helpless.
    It isn't my fault.
    It takes forever to find a way out.

    CHAPTER 2

    I walk down the street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I pretend that I don't see it.
    I fall in again.
    I can't believe that I am in the same place.
    But, it isn't my fault.
    It still takes a long time to get out.

    CHAPTER 3

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the side walk.
    I see it is there.
    I still fall in... it's a habit...but, my eyes are open.
    I know where I am.
    It is my fault.
    I get out immediately.

    CHAPTER 4

    I walk down the street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
    I walk around it.

    CHAPTER 5

    I walk down another street.
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    (Original post by souldoubt)
    You are awesome.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Was just about to be sick but this stopped me.. thank you :hugs:
    You have reached the limit of how many posts you can rate today!
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    You have reached the limit of how many posts you can rate today!
    Haha, s'all good :hugs:

    How are you doing?
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Found a few things I'd written in my old diary that aren't triggering! :eek3:

    Recovery: A return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.
    Convalescence: gradual healing; the act of regaining or saving something lost.

    I found this when I was in my writing (awful) haiku stage. I'm not sure who wrote it but I think it's amazing.

    Autobiography in five short chapters.

    CHAPTER 1
    I walk down the street
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
    I fall in.
    I am lost...I am helpless.
    It isn't my fault.
    It takes forever to find a way out.

    CHAPTER 2

    I walk down the street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I pretend that I don't see it.
    I fall in again.
    I can't believe that I am in the same place.
    But, it isn't my fault.
    It still takes a long time to get out.

    CHAPTER 3

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the side walk.
    I see it is there.
    I still fall in... it's a habit...but, my eyes are open.
    I know where I am.
    It is my fault.
    I get out immediately.

    CHAPTER 4

    I walk down the street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
    I walk around it.

    CHAPTER 5

    I walk down another street.
    This is amazing. I know I'm just randomly butting in, but I think it's beautiful.

    Edit: Googled and apparently it's by 'Portia Nelson'.
 
 
 
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