Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice. watch

Announcements
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Smiths, can I just say that first up - you're not any less deserving or severe a case than any other individual on here. That might seem like a very patronising statement but it's true. The reason? Most ED behaviours don't exhibit themselves as predominantly food-related. Sounds weird, but it's true.

    The food thing in the majority of cases comes from phobia, strict control, compulsions and habitual mannerisms where food just happens to be part and parcel of the entire gig.

    For example, my own ED was formed through a lack of long-term ambition (I'd achieved all my goals, and as such my ambitions fell by the wayside and I started executing a set of "Daily goals" based on arbitrary, numerical compulsions). It was all about "beating my numbers". Food just happened to become involved to the point where I was restricting an insane amount and performing an obscene amount of repetitive (and in hindsight, fairly ineffective) rep-based exercises, beating what I did the previous day, just to feel a sense of achievement.

    Perhaps you too have endured an overachiever's lifestyle and have suddenly faced a void that these OCD behaviours now fill?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Does anyone else get really really sharp chest pains at night that make it hurt unbearably to inhale? I can't take this anymore, I've never felt so low in my life. I'm trapped.
    Oh my goodness, I was about to ask this. I've had unbearable sharp chest pain all night last night and all day today, but weirdly only on the right side.. it hurts. And I feel exactly the same, I need to get out of this!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Once again Sophie, I refer you to my previous post about me having a heart attack in my twenties due to malnourishment. It's no joke. ACT NOW. x
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TotoMimo)
    Once again Sophie, I refer you to my previous post about me having a heart attack in my twenties due to malnourishment. It's no joke. ACT NOW. x
    Just read.. you had a heart attack at 26? That's upsetting and now I'm crying. As for me, there's no chance of me being strong enough to fight this.. despite telling myself constantly that I need help. I'm stuck and I can't get out
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sophiemay20)
    Just read.. you had a heart attack at 26? That's upsetting and now I'm crying. As for me, there's no chance of me being strong enough to fight this.. despite telling myself constantly that I need help. I'm stuck and I can't get out
    Sophie, you CAN do this. If you've enough will power to restrict yourself to a teeny tiny number of calories, you have the will power to get over this.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    I had what they call a "phantom heart attack" which is effectively a non-fatal acute angina attack. It's what old people get as a "Warning attack" before they get "real" heart attacks.

    Sophie, you ARE strong enough to fight it. What is the alternative? That's how I saw it. Am I going to let a bunch of stupid self-enforced, life-ruining rules destroy my life and inevitably kill me? "You need to consume less than 1000 kcals today." Er... who's forcing me? Who's telling me? The ED is. And the ED is just a figment I dreamt up to fill a void in my life which has just gotten out of hand. Like a power-hungry leech it saps all the goodness from your life and leaves you a walking husk, both emotionally and physically.

    You get up in the morning merely to appease the ED, the demon. Every thought is consumed by how to best please or suit it. "I'll go see my mates today". HAH. Nice try. You're going to see if you have time to do that after you've spent your afternoon weighing out broccoli so you can stay beneath a certain number for today that means nothing to anyone. That's all that comes of it; it's a pointless, stupid compulsion, an anomaly of your own brain that just wants to ruin every other part of you.

    Head up, sweetheart. Really. Think of everything else in life. The smell of the air at the seaside. Going on a rollercoaster. Watching a film with your future husband and kids. Seeing a friend you haven't seen in ten years. Think about anything. Then imagine it doesn't exist and never ever will; the only thing that exists is an empty set of rules in a dark prison you made for yourself that you never tried to break out of.

    If anything, THAT should be your drive. x
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Sophie May, Toto's not joking. I've had similar problems too, though thankfully never into the heart attack zone! I was nowhere near severely underweight when I began to experience chest pains of a night, but assumed it was from being "so unfit" and "covered in visceral fat" (essentially my EDs way of tricking me into further weight loss, which has now left me with chronic health anxiety). I had to have a cardiologist tell me that I'm in good shape now, but had I carried on I'd end up with a potentially fatal heart complication. Scary but true.
    Right now you're probably safe as it's on the right hand side (the heart's on the left, of course) but all the same, I'm not a doctor and I wouldn't take any chances. The good thing is that as long as you're still able to think and breathe, you can do something about it. Tell someone, for your sake and all of ours. x
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you Riku and Toto for the reply

    I understand completely about reinforcing the notion that 'thin=beautiful' so I don't tell her she is 'beautiful and thin'. However, what is the best thing to say when she says 'I have eaten sooo much today' (when she hasn't) and 'I can't let [name] see me this week until I lose some weight' etc?
    Umm that's a bit trickier for me, sorry : / I'll spoil it for the sake of some of the thread:

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Obviously don't agree with her, but be careful with denying it because sometimes AN sufferers see that as a threat, an attempt to try and "fatten them up" if you will. Personally whenever they mention "I've eaten so much", I would try and get her attention away from the food as much as possible. NEVER mention the number of calories or size or fat grams etc. of what you, her or anyone else you're referring to has had because she'll probably interpret that as a bad thing. If it must be done, do it in a jokey manner; with a bit of luck this might help her to see it as a perfectly acceptable aspect of socialising. And you could maybe offer some of what you're having to her, but again don't be pushy about it in case it's too much for her. You want to imply to her that food is something which can be discussed, it's not an off-limits subject, but not something which should be obsessed or worried about. If she gets especially anxious, change the subject. As for the "can't be seen until I'm thinner", try to remind her that they'd love to see her without relating it to her weight, neither agreeing nor denying? It's not lying, it's speaking half the truth.
    I know I'm essentially asking you to tip-toe around the subject, but you've just got to be so careful. The best thing you can do is keep her in the loop, because if she feels like she deserves other's company she's less likely to use food as a means to deal with the loneliness. You love and care for her whoever she is and whatever weight she is, showing that is important and I think you're doing well as long as you keep her involved.

    I'm no psychologist either, it's just a hunch x
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Great. Just my luck to get a housemate that constantly talks about how fat she is and how she needs to loose weight... AND them both telling me to stop them from eating junk food. One is talking about going to 300 calories a day. I can't tell her to stop talking about weight and calories around me - it's a free country
    Offline

    1
    thats sick 300 cals a day and one would drop dead on it literally

    ive been eating normally relatively because i would not be able to function without the energy at uni tbh.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cinamon)
    Great. Just my luck to get a housemate that constantly talks about how fat she is and how she needs to loose weight... AND them both telling me to stop them from eating junk food. One is talking about going to 300 calories a day. I can't tell her to stop talking about weight and calories around me - it's a free country
    Sounds more like the attention-seeking crash dieter really. Stopping from eating too much junk food is just common sense, they shouldn't need to add pressure to someone else by asking them not to. We all know most real ED sufferers don't exactly yell their endeavours to the world anyway :rolleyes:
    Cinamon, of course you can ask her to stop or at least watch what she says around you. It's your flat too, and your studies are more important! Maybe use the old "I've got a friend who..." excuse to make out it's a touchy subject?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cinamon)
    Great. Just my luck to get a housemate that constantly talks about how fat she is and how she needs to loose weight... AND them both telling me to stop them from eating junk food. One is talking about going to 300 calories a day. I can't tell her to stop talking about weight and calories around me - it's a free country
    I don't know what the atmosphere is like but would you feel able to explain it to one of them? No need to make a big deal of it, keep it light, I'm sure they'll understand. I had to have this conversation with a friend's mum the other day, she was talking for about half an hour about all these diets she'd tried and how she needed to change her thought patterns (incidentally touching on several thought patterns which were too close for comfort!) and then said 'I suppose you've never had to worry about these things, you've never dieted have you?' I don't know why I was feeling so blase about it that day but I just went 'ah well I had an eating disorder for four years so...' I appreciate this could have made some people uncomfortable - hence why I made it sound like it was in the past lol - but I do know her quite well and I think because I was so open about it, I kind of just laughed it off, she was really nice?

    If you don't feel comfortable saying that then I guess you could just try to keep changing the subject, at some point they'll get the picture? It must be hard though
    • #58
    #58

    (Original post by Riku)
    Umm that's a bit trickier for me, sorry : / I'll spoil it for the sake of some of the thread:

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Obviously don't agree with her, but be careful with denying it because sometimes AN sufferers see that as a threat, an attempt to try and "fatten them up" if you will. Personally whenever they mention "I've eaten so much", I would try and get her attention away from the food as much as possible. NEVER mention the number of calories or size or fat grams etc. of what you, her or anyone else you're referring to has had because she'll probably interpret that as a bad thing. If it must be done, do it in a jokey manner; with a bit of luck this might help her to see it as a perfectly acceptable aspect of socialising. And you could maybe offer some of what you're having to her, but again don't be pushy about it in case it's too much for her. You want to imply to her that food is something which can be discussed, it's not an off-limits subject, but not something which should be obsessed or worried about. If she gets especially anxious, change the subject. As for the "can't be seen until I'm thinner", try to remind her that they'd love to see her without relating it to her weight, neither agreeing nor denying? It's not lying, it's speaking half the truth.
    I know I'm essentially asking you to tip-toe around the subject, but you've just got to be so careful. The best thing you can do is keep her in the loop, because if she feels like she deserves other's company she's less likely to use food as a means to deal with the loneliness. You love and care for her whoever she is and whatever weight she is, showing that is important and I think you're doing well as long as you keep her involved.

    I'm no psychologist either, it's just a hunch x
    Thank you for the help
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I've had a terrible start to the week. Sometimes I hate dealing with this pathetic, hopeless, worthless, disgusting thing that I am!
    Offline

    1
    (Original post by mijin)
    Actually, you'd be surprised. The human body is incredibly resilient. I'm not dead yet.



    Hey, don't say that. You can do it. We all believe you can - it's just taking the first step that's the worst. Please go and see a doctor about those pains, just in case - even if it's nothing, better safe than sorry, right?
    that woint last long love.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    mijin, even in blinded retort that's unacceptable. Trust me, as a corpse, you'll be as thin as you like. Skin and bones, minus the skin.

    Think about it, eh?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hello I have been reading this thread for ages and thought it was about time I signed up. I have been suffering from Bulimia for nearly a year now and recently it has been getting worse but I have found this thread so helpful. Thank you Toto.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by mijin)
    I'd apologise but tbh I don't know what I'd be apologising for. I was just telling the truth.
    it's going to sound hypocritical, but maybe the fact that your post was very triggering! I know sometimes it's easy to just say what you think, and i've done it myself :/

    But yeah what you said was seriously ****ing triggering and there really is no need to be so arrogant about it
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by squiff93)
    it's going to sound hypocritical, but maybe the fact that your post was very triggering! I know sometimes it's easy to just say what you think, and i've done it myself :/

    But yeah what you said was seriously ****ing triggering and there really is no need to be so arrogant about it
    Well, I'm sorry. I've deleted the post.

    I suppose I was too pissed off to think about what I was writing... and I didn't consider it triggering. But arrogant? I wasn't being arrogant, I was just being frank and telling the truth.

    And now I'm going to get the **** off this thread before I offend anyone else. Seriously, I apologise for the trouble. It won't happen again.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by mijin)
    Well, I'm sorry. I've deleted the post.

    I suppose I was too pissed off to think about what I was writing... and I didn't consider it triggering. But arrogant? I wasn't being arrogant, I was just being frank and telling the truth.

    And now I'm going to get the **** off this thread before I offend anyone else. Seriously, I apologise for the trouble. It won't happen again.
    Noo don't do that, notice i didn't neg you it's because i understand these things happen :rolleyes:

    I didn't take it the way it was meant - trust me you aren't the only one in a bad mood, you deserve to be on this thread as much as anyone else! I just feel like ****e and to be honest pretty much everything i'd find triggering as im in 'that' kind of mood.

    The only reason i said arrogant was because it was like sort of saying i'm good because i'm not fat... i dno seriously - i get that your not an arrogant person. My heads just in a ****ed up way and is twisting stuff and tbh if i get triggered it's my own fault shouldn't blame someone else!

    I'm sorry. Don't feel bad! I just took my frustration out on you :hugs:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 31, 2015
Poll
Do you like carrot cake?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.