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A bit of guidance on spark :-) please watch

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    Hi,

    I met this guy and thought no more about it until a week or so later he contacted me via facebook. He asked me out, so we went out and it was lovely, then the next day he sent me this beautiful bunch of flowers, and from this we went out for tea/to the cinema a few times, he was always lovely and has invited me to meet friends, but unfortunalty i couldnt go as i was working. This went on for a month or so then he tells me that he thinks im lovely n beautiful but that he believes in chemistry and spark, so feels that we will make good friends... but not in any other way. Now i know i am the sort of girl who takes a while to build up a relationship with someone, and think that love is more like a seed that needs nurturing to flourish into a sapling, and hopefully then a huge oak tree, rather than it just being a spark, and to be honest i have started to have feelings for this person, but am a bit worried about weather i should tell them or not; i dont want to look a fool, make him feel awquard or be rejected, however i think that although i have been very nice towards him i have never discussed my feelings or anything like that, and maybe that is why he feels there has been no spark? Maybe he feels i have sort of rejected him, so he told me there was no spark to protect himself?

    Please let me know your opinions!
    Thankyou
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    sparks really important to some people. there probably wasn't any,I don't know :/ seems an easy way to let you down
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    If you like him, tell him. If you don't like him then tell him that and don't lead him on. If you really can't pick one of those, then confront him about it anyway. Tell him you need time to decide if you like him or not.

    Work on your english as well please. That was overly difficult to read for what is a fairly simple topic...
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    If you like him tell him.

    He probably likes you too if he's sending you flowers. I know I wouldn't be sending flowers to a girl if she was only my mate and I wasn't hoping for anything else.
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    You met him online, here at Eton, we'd get into lots of trouble for dating.
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    I've tried to date girls (who often are ****-tonnes hotter than me) and theres no spark so I have to stop. I've stuck by her for ages but it was just like 2 awkward pals..where as my current GF (who isn't considered as hot as the sparkless one - but to me is the most beautiful women in the universe), and I just hit it off amazingly. Even after going out with her for so long and doing everything with her i still get butterflies in my tummy before meeting her and we are so intune, she knows what i'm thinking she knows how to humour me, we play-fight and theres intimacy, honesty and no pretence or politeness. It's amazing. I think i'm falling fast man.

    Anyway, I always thought that you could essentially be attracted to anyone or go out with anyone because attraction is subject to manipulation and you can just work and adjust to be their dream partner but then I realised that makes love less special because anyone can then be in a relationship by 'putting effort in/meeting half way' what is special about finding 'the one' is that you don't have to be anyone but yourself and every little thing about you, your perks, weaknesses, annoyances will be attractive to the other person.

    You just gel and connect and compliment one anothers persona.

    For example i'm a messy turd and my GF is a clean freak, she would have never thought about going out with someone messy but she says she finds it cute. Her ex used to find it annoying that she had loads of friends and is always busy but for me I like it, I love seeing her having a good time with friends and it makes when, we're together extra special. Does that make sense? You know you've found the one when,he/she can accept and is further attracted to you by what others consider your 'flaws'

    Having a spark is important but it's not definitive. A spark is different for sone people anyway. Look, just be hone st with him, knowing that you may get hurt. For all he know he might really want it to work but is put off by,the lack of spark which might make him think you don't fancy him or something. And if he is sure that you're not the one for him, don't be downhearted and realise there are tonnes of guys out there who you would hit it off with and who take time just like you. You just have to put yourself out there and try again!


    I really hope it works out for you!!!
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    would you send her flowers at the begining then decide you only wanted her as a mate though, or do you think you would still like her, just feel like she may not like you in the same way? thanks for posting a reply!
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    You should tell him that you like him. Say that you feel a "spark"...Especially since you know that is how he thinks. I mean, he's asked you out, he brought you flowers, he compliments you etc. Telling him that you like him probably isn't going to be that shocking.
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    (Original post by pooo)
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    That is the most adorable thing I've seen all day +rep
 
 
 
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