Flatmates and friendship

I really like my flatmates, we get along well as friends and stuff. There're 8 of us in the flat, and until I threw a spanner in the works we were all planning on moving in together (plus another person) next year. Now I'm not so sure I want to - it's not because I don't like them, I just really can't see myself enjoying being in SUCH a big group again next year. Having so many people has often been somewhat a distraction. I'm not blaming them at all, I just struggle to settle down to work when there're so many of us doing different things, having different timetables and times to do stuff. I've spoken to one of my flatmates about this, and sort of mentioned it to a couple of others...but the more time that passes, the more I dread going to view more houses. Whats more, we're viewing properties to accommodate everyone (including me) and I think everyone wants it sorted by Christmas...I'm really stressed anyway but I really need to find the best way to tell them I'm having doubts. Is the best thing to do just telling them I'm not going to be living with them so they can just get on with finding somewhere to live without me? Uni and homelife (if you see one of my other threads you'll understand) is really not very stable at the moment, so I'm considering just staying here next year and being allocated in a SMALLER flat with new flatmates. In the end the mistake will be mine, but I don't wanna make everyone else hold off for me while I make up my mind. I don't wanna lose friends over this....
HELP!

Reply 1

Blurry

You might feel a bit left out if you stayed in halls next year and houses are much better than halls in terms of privacy and being able to study. The housing agencies love to make you think you have to sort your house out really quick - there'll be stuff around in February so it's not urgent to do it before christmas. If they're friends, speak with them and tell them how you feel before you make a decision. For all you know someone else in the group may feel that way and just be too scared to say anything.

Reply 2

SianyLou

It's been suggested that we wait, but after a HUGE row last night...it was decided we'd look now. I'm not in halls now as such, it's a flat...but I think it's just the number of people I live with that is not right for me. It sounds so lame, but I think I'd be much happier with fewer people, as right now I don't feel I can approach anyone cos it's so hard to find someone who's on their own (I don't like talking about personal stuff in groups..)

Reply 3

Blurry

9 people is a lot of people to live with, it's not lame to want to live with a smaller group such as 4-5. I know of people who moved with 2 other friends and had no problems about it. All i can suggest is just speaking to other people and tell them how you feel about living in such a large group. If they're friends you won't lose them. You can always see them next year if you're not living together. You'll find out either way how friendly you really are.

Reply 4

SianyLou

I hope you're right...but with them looking for a house NOW, I'm expected to have a decision about whether or not I wanna live with them by...well...before a week today. I thought a week was reasonable, but I've been told that's not giving them long enough to sort something out...I don't wanna let them down or ruin their chances of getting exactly what they want.

Reply 5

Blurry

It's stressful i know and i hate the pressure people put on you. Forget about them for now and letting them down - it's what you want to do and will feel comfortable with. I'm going to repeat myself and say that you have to speak with them, even if it's to a small group of people. If you feel un-comfortable talking about something as that, then maybe they're not that great friends really. You have to say something either way before they sign something for example and just put a contract under your nose and tell you to sign and they've already paid deposits for a house. Then you'll really let them down in that circumstance.

I can't offer much more, but if you know what you want to do and what you don't want to do. You have to say something be it to one person or 8 people. After all these are people you're going to have to spend the next year with. If they're good friends not living with them will not break a friendship up.