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GCSE ENGLISH: what mark would this get me? watch

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    can i ask you to PLEASE give me a rough mark for this answer please please! i'm really struggling in english and i'm trying SO hard to achieve a reasonable grade, so i'd really appreciate if you gave up your time and helped me :~) thanku

    the article is below:

    http://i56.tinypic.com/1zns6kw.jpg

    and the question is:

    What Criticisms does Michele Hanson make of other people's behaviour and attitudes?

    my answer:

    Michele Hanson criticises other people's behaviour and attitudes by saying 'the worst crime is to waste food'. This suggests that Hanson strongly perceives wasting food as one of the worst forms of crime. This also gives the reader the idea that they're committing a crime by wasting food, which could cause them to feel guilty knowing they can refrain themselves from doing such a 'crime'. this also highlights the significance of how valuable food was to Hanson, because she lived through years of rationing, whereas nowadays the society seem to take what they have for granted, and 'don't bother and chuck'.

    Hanson also criticises the eating habits of pupils at the school local to her. For instance, she mentions how the pupils 'hurl their food about, pelting each other with chips...' this again suggests how the generation of today don't appreciate what they have. In fact this quotation could also imply that nowadays children are not taught enough about the value of the world's resources - in Hanson's view, they're 'needlessly frittered away'.
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    the mark's out of 6 by the way, thankxu
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    help please
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    cmoon, there must b someone!
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    How long should this be ?
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    still need help
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    (Original post by pleasehelpme...)
    can i ask you to PLEASE give me a rough mark for this answer please please! i'm really struggling in english and i'm trying SO hard to achieve a reasonable grade, so i'd really appreciate if you gave up your time and helped me :~) thanku

    the article is below:

    http://i56.tinypic.com/1zns6kw.jpg

    and the question is:

    What Criticisms does Michele Hanson make of other people's behaviour and attitudes?

    my answer:

    Michele Hanson criticises other people's behaviour and attitudes by saying 'the worst crime is to waste food'. This suggests that Hanson strongly perceives wasting food as one of the worst forms of crime. This also gives the reader the idea that they're committing a crime by wasting food, which could cause them to feel guilty knowing they can refrain themselves from doing such a 'crime'. this also highlights the significance of how valuable food was to Hanson, because she lived through years of rationing, whereas nowadays the society seem to take what they have for granted, and 'don't bother and chuck'.

    Hanson also criticises the eating habits of pupils at the school local to her. For instance, she mentions how the pupils 'hurl their food about, pelting each other with chips...' this again suggests how the generation of today don't appreciate what they have. In fact this quotation could also imply that nowadays children are not taught enough about the value of the world's resources - in Hanson's view, they're 'needlessly frittered away'.
    This is the second question right? It's a bit too short, you're really looking at facts and opinions of criticisms too here. It's not the "detailed, shaped and absorbed" response the examiners are looking for, you would probably get 3 marks at least though. Aim for about 4 points with a short intro and ending. The best thing to do is get a teacher to look at it though.
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    I'm unsure on the mark, Though i think by including the comparison between the old and young and how they have different views on food wasted, would help get some more marks, however, I'm not that brilliant at English myself. Sorry
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    (Original post by Procrastinate)
    This is the second question right? It's a bit too short, you're really looking at facts and opinions of criticisms too here. It's not the "detailed, shaped and absorbed" response the examiners are looking for, you would probably get 3 marks at least though. Aim for about 4 points with a short intro and ending. The best thing to do is get a teacher to look at it though.
    thx....didnt knw it was that low lol :{
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    you'd probs get 3 or at a push 4, much improvement is needed for the full 6.
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    Ha I think that might be the paper I did in my GCSE exam, or at least the practice as I recognise it

    As far as crits go I would echo the opinio that its too short, perhaps expand a bit more? are there any other points you can include?

    Im afraid I cant really remember much from GCSE, just the point evidence explain link
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    aw i'm definitely gonna fail then :[!
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    it's just that i've been trying so hard, but the effort is obviously not paying off!
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    Well you can only do your best, thats what matters
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    7/6
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    ;[
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    still need help
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    i remember doing this. this was a past paper for AQA. brings back the memories
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    (Original post by pleasehelpme...)
    can i ask you to PLEASE give me a rough mark for this answer please please! i'm really struggling in english and i'm trying SO hard to achieve a reasonable grade, so i'd really appreciate if you gave up your time and helped me :~) thanku

    the article is below:

    http://i56.tinypic.com/1zns6kw.jpg

    and the question is:

    What Criticisms does Michele Hanson make of other people's behaviour and attitudes?

    my answer:

    Michele Hanson criticises other people's behaviour and attitudes by saying 'the worst crime is to waste food'. This suggests that Hanson strongly perceives wasting food as one of the worst forms of crime. This also gives the reader the idea that they're committing a crime by wasting food, which could cause them to feel guilty knowing they can refrain themselves from doing such a 'crime'. this also highlights the significance of how valuable food was to Hanson, because she lived through years of rationing, whereas nowadays the society seem to take what they have for granted, and 'don't bother and chuck'.

    Hanson also criticises the eating habits of pupils at the school local to her. For instance, she mentions how the pupils 'hurl their food about, pelting each other with chips...' this again suggests how the generation of today don't appreciate what they have. In fact this quotation could also imply that nowadays children are not taught enough about the value of the world's resources - in Hanson's view, they're 'needlessly frittered away'.
    This also gives the reader the idea that they're committing a crime by wasting food - Really? I don't see myself thinking that. Remember, interpretations aren't set in stone

    this also highlights the significance of how valuable food was to Hanson, - see above.

    For instance, - Integrate quotations.

    In fact - No, it's not a fact...

    this quotation could also imply that nowadays children are not taught enough about the value of the world's resources - in Hanson's view, they're 'needlessly frittered away'. - As corrected, expand on this point; it's quite good.

    2/3 out of 6. Haphazardly structured and a lack of concentration is evident.
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    lol i don't even know if there's any point in trying now, 2 is awful! i didn't know my english was that bad
 
 
 
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