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Really like her, but she has a boyfriend Watch

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    (Original post by Sorani)
    This can only end badly, stay away. As a girl, I'd be pretty creeped out if a guy I hadn't even spoken to wanted me to leave my boyfriend for him.
    This is what I'm afraid of doing.
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    Too late, she hasn't spoken to you before so she might not even like you... I guess you could start talking her and become a friend if she ends up breaking up with him you could be in, but you might get attached and she ends up getting married or something hehe.
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    (Original post by Athena21)
    You sound like a great guy and all, but I don't think a "poking war on facebook" is gonna get you the girl....

    Maybe just ask her out already?

    OP - you probably shouldn't follow that advice.
    If you've never spoken to her how do you really know if you like her? :confused:
    thanks for the compliment but i was just telling OP to get to know her first, thats all, and im not gonna try and the get the girl i like since she has a bf, we have a fantastic friendship and i dont wanna ruin that.
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    Say nothing. If I was her I'd be polite when you told me but I'd make it clear nothing would happen and I'd probably be quite annoyed with you. If you know she has a boyfriend then you know she's off the market and personally I'd find it quite rude/insensitive of you to put me in that position. If you tell her all you're doing is putting her in a position where she has to try to let you down gently.
    Added to this, you've never spoken to her so your attraction is basically just a physical one so you'd be asking her to consider leaving a relationship she's happy in for one with someone who she doesn't even know. The best thing you can do is wait for the crush to pass and move on.
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    (Original post by Grumpig)
    I don't think your biggest worry is that she has a boyfriend. I think the biggest problem is that you've never spoken to her.
    Agreed.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've known her for about 7 months now. I say 'known', she's been in my class for that time, we haven't spoken to each other. I don't know her boyfriend, but I think they are quite serious.

    What the hell do I do? Tell her? I don't want her to think that some quiet guy who she doesn't know is a creep. I also don't want to put her in an uncomfortable position, what with her having a boyfriend. I also don't want to make things awkward for the remainder of the year.

    Girls, if you were in her position, how would you react?
    Firstly talk to her lol if you just tell her that you like her without even saying hello it's freaky and if she's with her BF wait till she dumps him
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    (Original post by AldrousHuxley)
    start talking to her.
    ..pretty much the only thing you can do =/
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    This isn't going to happen.

    Say I was this girl, even if I didn't have a boyfriend I don't get strange guys who tell me they "like" me or god forbid ask me out and we haven't even spoken. It's kind of unnatural. Relationships don't progress in that way (at least not for me).

    It goes as follows:
    First contact --> interaction --> flirtation --> and then declarations of interest.

    You can only get away with it earlier than that if you are particularly cocky/casual about it, and if (by chance) that kind of cockiness is to her fancy.
    But you can't be that cocky if you've been secretely fancying her for 7 months and haven't spoken, so that's out of the window.

    Otherwise, premature declarations of interest just result in awkwardness, let alone if she already has a boyfriend.

    It's a bit like someone asking you to marry them after dating for week. Odd and quite offputting.

    If you want to do anything, try just talking to her first.
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    (Original post by The Polar Dude)
    thanks for the compliment but i was just telling OP to get to know her first, thats all, and im not gonna try and the get the girl i like since she has a bf, we have a fantastic friendship and i dont wanna ruin that.
    What a gentleman
    Girls need more friends like you....

    But isn't there a just a little part of you that wants to tell her? Or for them to split up? Or something else thats equally morally dubious?
    Sucks to like a girl who's with someone I guess
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    She's taken and you've never spoken to her ? Better find somebody else then.
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    Let it go! that is for the best!
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    (Original post by Athena21)
    What a gentleman
    Girls need more friends like you....

    But isn't there a just a little part of you that wants to tell her? Or for them to split up? Or something else thats equally morally dubious?
    Sucks to like a girl who's with someone I guess
    I wanted to tell her since January but was scared to tell her, and now i just feel its for the best if i keep my mouth shut.
    i dont want them to break up at all because she is always happy when i see her and then i smile like a retard whenever i see or think of her, (like now)
    if she breaks up with him, she'll be upset and ill be upset coz she's upset
    today we broke up from school for the easter holidays, and she game my a hug for the first time ever, i cant stop thinking about it, ahhhh i wanna tell her badddddddd but the outcome.... im not so sure how she'll react

    sorrt for the rant btw, you know when you have strong feelings for a girl, i even get jealous sometimes when i see her talking to another guy on fb or at school
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    Well, you really like her, but she has a boyfriend. Done.
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    Yeah...
    Move on.
    Or if you must have some sort of contact with her just talk to her, maybe befriend her.
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    (Original post by The Polar Dude)
    I wanted to tell her since January but was scared to tell her, and now i just feel its for the best if i keep my mouth shut.
    i dont want them to break up at all because she is always happy when i see her and then i smile like a retard whenever i see or think of her, (like now)
    if she breaks up with him, she'll be upset and ill be upset coz she's upset
    today we broke up from school for the easter holidays, and she game my a hug for the first time ever, i cant stop thinking about it, ahhhh i wanna tell her badddddddd but the outcome.... im not so sure how she'll react
    sorrt for the rant btw, you know when you have strong feelings for a girl, i even get jealous sometimes when i see her talking to another guy on fb or at school
    I'd tell her, give yourself some closure. If she's as good a friend as you claim she is, she'll try and make it as less awkward as possible if she turns you down.

    It's nice that you don't want to upset her, but why upset yourself by continuously making yourself think "what if". There's a difference between actively trying to break someone up (by spreading rumours, for example) and just telling someone how you feel IMO. Nothing wrong with the latter as long as you accept her decision.
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    (Original post by Fandabidoze!)
    I'd tell her, give yourself some closure. If she's as good a friend as you claim she is, she'll try and make it as less awkward as possible if she turns you down.

    It's nice that you don't want to upset her, but why upset yourself by continuously making yourself think "what if". There's a difference between actively trying to break someone up (by spreading rumours, for example) and just telling someone how you feel IMO. Nothing wrong with the latter as long as you accept her decision.
    thanks for your response, i might consider telling her when we come back to school in 2 weeks time
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    (Original post by The Polar Dude)
    thanks for your response, i might consider telling her when we come back to school in 2 weeks time
    Just to consider the other side of this...she may not thank you for telling her. You know how bad/awkward you feel now? That's probably how uncomfortable she'll feel afterwards having to give you the 'just good friends speech'.

    Having feelings for someone who is taken is heartbreaking, but it isn't fair on the person you have those feelings for to make it their problem too. If you like her as much as you say you do, then I think it's fairer on her to keep quiet and see if her relationship pans out.
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    (Original post by Sazzle4)
    Just to consider the other side of this...she may not thank you for telling her. You know how bad/awkward you feel now? That's probably how uncomfortable she'll feel afterwards having to give you the 'just good friends speech'.

    Having feelings for someone who is taken is heartbreaking, but it isn't fair on the person you have those feelings for to make it their problem too. If you like her as much as you say you do, then I think it's fairer on her to keep quiet and see if her relationship pans out.
    thanks, i may hi-jack this thread soon lol
    the funny thing is that she's had the bf since january this year but ive only seen them properly talk to each other once and that was when they were going home together but she was also with a friend of hers.
    there's a significant amount of couples in 6th form, and almost all of them are obvious when you see them coz they are together away from the crowd, but ive never seen her with her bf together alone. :hmmm:
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    (Original post by The Polar Dude)
    thanks for your response, i might consider telling her when we come back to school in 2 weeks time
    just a slight word of caution; be careful. you dont want to make it seem like you were only being friends with her to end up having sex with her or because you had a game plan, it's not a nice feeling.

    obviously you know her better than any of us so up to you to judge.
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    (Original post by Terranomini)
    Oh come on. You've never spoken to her. I hope you're taking the piss? I've heard of the 3-second rule but never the 7-month rule.
    I thought the 3-second rule was for dropped food? :/
 
 
 
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