Turn on thread page Beta

Rejected by a guy, looking for some advice/thoughts watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So recently I met this guy at a uni social occasion, we hit it off straight away, he was very charming, we had lots in common. A friend came over and said it was noticeable how well we got on, but she had to be honest, he was seeing someone she knew.

    Obviously that instantly dampened any hopes I had - I genuinely thought he was the kind of guy who I would get on well with and had thought there was maybe potential for a relationship with. So I didn't speak much to him for a good part of the evening, feeling a bit put off.

    As the night went on and more alcohol was consumed and we moved onto a bar and then a club he was noticeably more flirty with me and I can't deny I was with him. As we were walking to the club, I put my arm round his waist, partly as a bit of a flirty move, partly to keep me warm but didn't mean anything much by it. When we got in the club he bought me a drink, we chatted to some friends for a while, then went to sat down. He made a move pretty much straight away and I didn't reject him so we ending up getting off.

    The same friend was really drunk at this point I told him I had to find her and take her home. We found her, all got in a cab and went back to mine. She stayed over with me and I said goodnight to this guy. He asked for my number and I gave it to him and he told me things weren't serious with this girl and he had had his reservations about her for a while so he was going to talk to her about ending things.

    He text me later the next day, just general chat, and eventually suggested as neither of us had any plans that he come round that evening. I was cool with that, but at this stage started to feel bad that I had got with someone who was seeing someone else. I don't want to be that kind of person so it was playing on my mind a bit.

    When he came round he was immediately quite touchy feely and flirty and made a move pretty quickly. I felt a bit awkward so went along with it but I stopped him and made my feelings known about feeling uncomfortable/bad with the situation. He said he understood and appreciated it but said he couldn't resist me so made another move. I again, probably stupidly, went along with it whilst not feeling entirely comfortable. He definitely seemed in the mood for more as well. Eventually I told him he ought to leave and he did quite easily.

    We kept texting and he rang me a few days later when I was at home. We chatted for nearly an hour about loads of things and got on to the subject of his situation with this other girl. He basically said he wasn't sure what to do, but didn't want to break up with her nor stop getting to know me. He said had he met me before her things would be different but not to expect anything. Fair enough, I had to accept this.

    I had left some thing at his house at the end of term - I'm friends with one of his housemates - and he said I could go round and pick them up which I did on Sunday. Stayed for almost an hour, had a good chat, he was being flirty, leg against mine, kept touching me and getting quite close but nothing happened - I felt a bit nervous and almost didn't want it to until I knew things were finished with this other girl.

    He walked me home, seemed to kind of be angling for an invite in but I didn't, and gave me a warm hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye.

    I text him afterwards saying I wasn't sure if I should have invited him in after our phone convo and that I thought he looked really hot that evening.

    He text back returning the compliment but said nothing had changed since our phone convo. I replied saying I understood why he hadn't made a decision, wanted to get to know him better, liked him but wasn't going to pressure him.

    So he rang me this evening and basically told me he wouldn't be seeing me any more and wanted to make a go of things with this other girl. I guess I can understand that, they've known each other longer than we have and he's got regular sex there. I do obviously feel a bit gutted as I was starting to getting proper feelings beyond just wanting to 'snog him'.

    He said if I see him out and about or in uni to not be afraid to go and chat and he said would it be ok if he still text me. I said I'm not the kind of person to not speak to someone, told him I thought it was a shame, he should have given me the chance to get to know him

    I don't really know what to make of it all and whether or not he's just a bit scared of taking a risk by breaking up with this girl to see me. Was he ever interested in me? Do I just move on and forget about it?

    Sorry for the mammoth post but grateful for any advice/thoughts!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Never has "tl;dr" felt more necessary
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Gryffindor)
    Never has "tl;dr" felt more necessary
    Crikey, sorry! You've obviously got the time to click on the thread and post, so don't see why you can't just read it. It would have been shorter if the thing wasn't so complicated!
    • #2
    #2

    Okay I will "tl;dr" it for you.

    I am ****ing pregnant and the father is a 42-year-old homeless from Vietnam!

    What should I do? I'm on the 7th month now!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Crikey, sorry! You've obviously got the time to click on the thread and post, so don't see why you can't just read it. It would have been shorter if the thing wasn't so complicated!
    tldr. Learn to summarise moron.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Munchies-YumYum)
    tldr. Learn to summarise moron.
    You didn't have to click on the thread, douche. I've explained it thoroughly so there doesn't need to be any questions.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Obviously you should move on and forget him.

    Even if he dumped the girl to be with you he probably would cheat on you too.

    It's not like he'll be thinking about you anyway, now that he's officially with this other girl.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    My uncle used to drink a can of kestrel when life got stressful.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I reckon the other girl was having sex with him, you weren't so he picked her.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    He scared himself, I really do think he thinks you're uncommonly hot, rather than being a generalised cheating scumbag.

    He cheated and scared himself, so you have to give it up. It's clear he can't bear to cut you off though, the reason he asked if he could still text and chat with you would be because he wants to put you on the back burner in case he and his girlfriend don't manage to solve whatever problems they have.

    Basically, you're better/hotter than his girlfriend but they have a bigger bond. You are better, and he's just denying himself out of respect for his bond with his girlfriend.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Crikey, sorry! You've obviously got the time to click on the thread and post, so don't see why you can't just read it. It would have been shorter if the thing wasn't so complicated!
    Okay I felt bad so I read it and you seem like a nice girl so I'm sorry okay jeez!

    But tbh there's no point being upset about it you can't be mad at the guy for staying with his girlfriend!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by moaty...it's gazza)
    I reckon the other girl was having sex with him, you weren't so he picked her.
    You may be right, but I wasn't going to sleep with him knowing he was seeing someone else and having only just met him.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Well, despite myself I did read it all.

    You don't really have many options. He's already made a decision. You don't want to become some sap chasing after someone unattainable.

    He found you attractive on some level, you can take that away from this but don't waste more thought on it.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by wavey93)
    My uncle used to drink a can of kestrel when life got stressful.
    That rhymes, lol
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    if he tried it with you whilst 'seeing' another girl.. what makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you?

    comprende?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    i read it :O

    and i got a hard on at the end of it, i'm sure it's not related.

    anyway, my initial reaction was he wanted his cake, and he also... wanted to eat it..

    for example, he basically was pushing for sex the first time he went round... whilst with another girl... he also told you he would be ending it with the other girl... so yea, to me, it honestly sounds like he wanted you on the side, and then was always going to stick with the other girl....

    NOT ME, but most guys, if they are with a girl, and another girl is into them... they are going to try and get what they can from you, the fact in my eyes he was so forward... seems like he was trying to force things b4 **** hitTED the fan..

    i would move on... he's chosen the other girl despite saying he wouldn't, and also he pushed for sex with you and ended up going back to the other girl... sounds like you are best off without him...

    if u pm me a picture, i'll contemplate offering you a rebound, but i will not let things go beyond 3rd base, those are my terms, i will expect your pm shortly. include a pic if not i'll just ignore it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Munchies-YumYum)
    tldr. Learn to summarise moron.
    Oh don't be so scathing.

    OP, I wouldn't take it personal. I actually think he's a bit of **** for leading you and his 'girlfriend' on, imagine how she would feel if she found out.
    So behind that nice, hot exterior he mustn't be that much of a decent person really must he? You felt a bit guilty, but I wonder whether he did?...probably not.

    Just have to forget about him I'm afraid. It's best not to get involved in these situations when you think about it (although, easier said than done!) because they rarely end well. And it's not a firm basis for trust is it.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    didnt read but rejection = part of life

    ya win some ya lose some!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Gryffindor)
    That rhymes, lol
    It's from a Tinie Tempah song lol
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think he wanted you as a bit on the side. Obviously I don't know him so can't be sure but it sounds like he wanted sex and when it wasn't forthcoming he took his ball home.
    I know its easier said than done but you should definitely move on, he sounds like a bit of a player. I think you did the right thing by not sleeping with him.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 18, 2011
The home of Results and Clearing

1,206

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
How are you feeling about GCSE results day?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.