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Rejected by a guy, looking for some advice/thoughts watch

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    Regardless of whatever people have said about him being clearly attracted to me, I'm starting to feel pretty **** about myself. Hate boys - why do they have such power over us!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Regardless of whatever people have said about him being clearly attracted to me, I'm starting to feel pretty **** about myself. Hate boys - why do they have such power over us!
    Don't worry, OP. I know it's hard to deal with the rejection a bit at first, but just remember he clearly found you attractive and by the sounds of it you definitely deserve someone who won't be seeing you whilst he's seeing someone else and is interested in you and only you! He's the loser, not you!
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    Play-er.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He walked me home, seemed to kind of be angling for an invite in but I didn't, and gave me a warm hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye
    GIRLPOWER!

    Truth is you tempted him and he would have liked the odd shag on the sly but seeing as he felt like you were forcing his hand he's feels he must choose and he's gone with the safe option aye

    In many senses this may be considered the best of all outcomes if the alternative was being in a situation you weren't comfortable with or being with a guy who's not all that sure in himself/his relationships. Try to continue to be pragmatic, look on the bright side eh, it's his loss and your gain!

    You're obviously a nice lass with good morals and if he found you attractive I'm sure others will, and we're not all douchebags! (though I myself am potentially even more self-centred/conniving than this amateur if I'm honest)
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    Well, firslty he cheated on his girlfriend with you, but that fact is more than established.
    Secondly, I'd be wary of any guy who invited himself around to mine a day after we met. Not only does it seem overkeen, but this guy knew full well that the bedroom is a prime spot to take things further. Going to the pub for a drink or something would have been a far better way to get to know you a bit more as a person - if he wanted to get to know that side of you.
    Don't stand for people who will tell you that they'll break up with their current girlfriend for you then express their doubt. I've been in that situation before, and it feels crap.
    I really do think that continuing to text him would be unfair on yourself and his girlfriend. Even if your texts aren't sexual in nature, you know the intent is there and that there is now a bit of sexual history. He's not your friend, and never was, and doesn't sound like he has the potential to be a friend, so your only motivations to text him would be sexual. You need to get over him, and texting him will only stop you from doing this. Also, like someone else said, he's keeping you on the back burner. You're better than that.
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    (Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse)
    Well, firslty he cheated on his girlfriend with you, but that fact is more than established.
    Secondly, I'd be wary of any guy who invited himself around to mine a day after we met. Not only does it seem overkeen, but this guy knew full well that the bedroom is a prime spot to take things further. Going to the pub for a drink or something would have been a far better way to get to know you a bit more as a person - if he wanted to get to know that side of you.
    Don't stand for people who will tell you that they'll break up with their current girlfriend for you then express their doubt. I've been in that situation before, and it feels crap.
    I really do think that continuing to text him would be unfair on yourself and his girlfriend. Even if your texts aren't sexual in nature, you know the intent is there and that there is now a bit of sexual history. He's not your friend, and never was, and doesn't sound like he has the potential to be a friend, so your only motivations to text him would be sexual. You need to get over him, and texting him will only stop you from doing this. Also, like someone else said, he's keeping you on the back burner. You're better than that.
    I understand and appreciate all your points, so thanks .

    Just to be clear though he asked if he could still text me not the other way around. I would of course be wary of anything I replied back with. Sucks as I kind of hoped he liked me as a person as well as being attracted to me. These things happen I guess!
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    you did teh right thing to not give into his horny ways,your in control of the situation by not sleeping with him and doing what hhe wanted, thankyourself lucky chick! well done
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    explain to him how you feel and if he's not understanding about it he's not really worth the bother
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So recently I met this guy at a uni social occasion, we hit it off straight away, he was very charming, we had lots in common. A friend came over and said it was noticeable how well we got on, but she had to be honest, he was seeing someone she knew.

    Obviously that instantly dampened any hopes I had - I genuinely thought he was the kind of guy who I would get on well with and had thought there was maybe potential for a relationship with. So I didn't speak much to him for a good part of the evening, feeling a bit put off.

    As the night went on and more alcohol was consumed and we moved onto a bar and then a club he was noticeably more flirty with me and I can't deny I was with him. As we were walking to the club, I put my arm round his waist, partly as a bit of a flirty move, partly to keep me warm but didn't mean anything much by it. When we got in the club he bought me a drink, we chatted to some friends for a while, then went to sat down. He made a move pretty much straight away and I didn't reject him so we ending up getting off.

    The same friend was really drunk at this point I told him I had to find her and take her home. We found her, all got in a cab and went back to mine. She stayed over with me and I said goodnight to this guy. He asked for my number and I gave it to him and he told me things weren't serious with this girl and he had had his reservations about her for a while so he was going to talk to her about ending things.

    He text me later the next day, just general chat, and eventually suggested as neither of us had any plans that he come round that evening. I was cool with that, but at this stage started to feel bad that I had got with someone who was seeing someone else. I don't want to be that kind of person so it was playing on my mind a bit.

    When he came round he was immediately quite touchy feely and flirty and made a move pretty quickly. I felt a bit awkward so went along with it but I stopped him and made my feelings known about feeling uncomfortable/bad with the situation. He said he understood and appreciated it but said he couldn't resist me so made another move. I again, probably stupidly, went along with it whilst not feeling entirely comfortable. He definitely seemed in the mood for more as well. Eventually I told him he ought to leave and he did quite easily.

    We kept texting and he rang me a few days later when I was at home. We chatted for nearly an hour about loads of things and got on to the subject of his situation with this other girl. He basically said he wasn't sure what to do, but didn't want to break up with her nor stop getting to know me. He said had he met me before her things would be different but not to expect anything. Fair enough, I had to accept this.

    I had left some thing at his house at the end of term - I'm friends with one of his housemates - and he said I could go round and pick them up which I did on Sunday. Stayed for almost an hour, had a good chat, he was being flirty, leg against mine, kept touching me and getting quite close but nothing happened - I felt a bit nervous and almost didn't want it to until I knew things were finished with this other girl.

    He walked me home, seemed to kind of be angling for an invite in but I didn't, and gave me a warm hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye.

    I text him afterwards saying I wasn't sure if I should have invited him in after our phone convo and that I thought he looked really hot that evening.

    He text back returning the compliment but said nothing had changed since our phone convo. I replied saying I understood why he hadn't made a decision, wanted to get to know him better, liked him but wasn't going to pressure him.

    So he rang me this evening and basically told me he wouldn't be seeing me any more and wanted to make a go of things with this other girl. I guess I can understand that, they've known each other longer than we have and he's got regular sex there. I do obviously feel a bit gutted as I was starting to getting proper feelings beyond just wanting to 'snog him'.

    He said if I see him out and about or in uni to not be afraid to go and chat and he said would it be ok if he still text me. I said I'm not the kind of person to not speak to someone, told him I thought it was a shame, he should have given me the chance to get to know him

    I don't really know what to make of it all and whether or not he's just a bit scared of taking a risk by breaking up with this girl to see me. Was he ever interested in me? Do I just move on and forget about it?

    Sorry for the mammoth post but grateful for any advice/thoughts!
    You've been giving him really mixed signals. He's been pretty consistent in his treatment of you, but you've been confusing him.

    Step back for a bit, don't initiate any chats or go to visit him, and see what he does.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay I will "tl;dr" it for you.

    I am ****ing pregnant and the father is a 42-year-old homeless from Vietnam!

    What should I do? I'm on the 7th month now!
    This. Made me LOL!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So recently I met this guy at a uni social occasion, we hit it off straight away, he was very charming, we had lots in common. A friend came over and said it was noticeable how well we got on, but she had to be honest, he was seeing someone she knew.

    Obviously that instantly dampened any hopes I had - I genuinely thought he was the kind of guy who I would get on well with and had thought there was maybe potential for a relationship with. So I didn't speak much to him for a good part of the evening, feeling a bit put off.

    As the night went on and more alcohol was consumed and we moved onto a bar and then a club he was noticeably more flirty with me and I can't deny I was with him. As we were walking to the club, I put my arm round his waist, partly as a bit of a flirty move, partly to keep me warm but didn't mean anything much by it. When we got in the club he bought me a drink, we chatted to some friends for a while, then went to sat down. He made a move pretty much straight away and I didn't reject him so we ending up getting off.

    The same friend was really drunk at this point I told him I had to find her and take her home. We found her, all got in a cab and went back to mine. She stayed over with me and I said goodnight to this guy. He asked for my number and I gave it to him and he told me things weren't serious with this girl and he had had his reservations about her for a while so he was going to talk to her about ending things.

    He text me later the next day, just general chat, and eventually suggested as neither of us had any plans that he come round that evening. I was cool with that, but at this stage started to feel bad that I had got with someone who was seeing someone else. I don't want to be that kind of person so it was playing on my mind a bit.

    When he came round he was immediately quite touchy feely and flirty and made a move pretty quickly. I felt a bit awkward so went along with it but I stopped him and made my feelings known about feeling uncomfortable/bad with the situation. He said he understood and appreciated it but said he couldn't resist me so made another move. I again, probably stupidly, went along with it whilst not feeling entirely comfortable. He definitely seemed in the mood for more as well. Eventually I told him he ought to leave and he did quite easily.

    We kept texting and he rang me a few days later when I was at home. We chatted for nearly an hour about loads of things and got on to the subject of his situation with this other girl. He basically said he wasn't sure what to do, but didn't want to break up with her nor stop getting to know me. He said had he met me before her things would be different but not to expect anything. Fair enough, I had to accept this.

    I had left some thing at his house at the end of term - I'm friends with one of his housemates - and he said I could go round and pick them up which I did on Sunday. Stayed for almost an hour, had a good chat, he was being flirty, leg against mine, kept touching me and getting quite close but nothing happened - I felt a bit nervous and almost didn't want it to until I knew things were finished with this other girl.

    He walked me home, seemed to kind of be angling for an invite in but I didn't, and gave me a warm hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye.

    I text him afterwards saying I wasn't sure if I should have invited him in after our phone convo and that I thought he looked really hot that evening.

    He text back returning the compliment but said nothing had changed since our phone convo. I replied saying I understood why he hadn't made a decision, wanted to get to know him better, liked him but wasn't going to pressure him.

    So he rang me this evening and basically told me he wouldn't be seeing me any more and wanted to make a go of things with this other girl. I guess I can understand that, they've known each other longer than we have and he's got regular sex there. I do obviously feel a bit gutted as I was starting to getting proper feelings beyond just wanting to 'snog him'.

    He said if I see him out and about or in uni to not be afraid to go and chat and he said would it be ok if he still text me. I said I'm not the kind of person to not speak to someone, told him I thought it was a shame, he should have given me the chance to get to know him

    I don't really know what to make of it all and whether or not he's just a bit scared of taking a risk by breaking up with this girl to see me. Was he ever interested in me? Do I just move on and forget about it?

    Sorry for the mammoth post but grateful for any advice/thoughts!
    He just wanted to **** you. Now it's going too far and he's scared of getting caught.
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    (Original post by sweeter than a cherry pie)
    You've been giving him really mixed signals. He's been pretty consistent in his treatment of you, but you've been confusing him.

    Step back for a bit, don't initiate any chats or go to visit him, and see what he does.
    I don't know if I agree with you really. We got on well, then I found out he was seeing someone, yes ok so I got with him knowing this fact, but then when he came round I was quite strong with my point about not wanting anything to happen whilst he was still seeing her. He knew I liked him but that was my position from then on. When I went round his to collect some stuff we chatted - he said after all he wanted to get to know me. I didn't make anything happen, sticking to what I had said, but I still told him I was interested in him.

    If anything it was him with the mixed signals - he was the one doing the overt flirting but not making a move, saying he was staying with his girlfriend, but he wanted to get to know me more and how things would be different if he had met me before her.

    I didn't really know where I was with him, aside from the fact I got the impression I was attractive to him, but I made my stance very clear to him and wasn't the one touching flirtily and hugging and kissing him on the cheek.
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    There are two possible situations. 1. He was looking for some fun. and 2. He wanted an excuse to leave the relationship. Given that he clearly loves her, you stood no chance. He probably would have had sex with you then never called you again, but no more.

    You can test which situation you're in. Simply ask him if he loves her. If he says yes, while whistfully staring off into the distance, you're in situation 1 and you stand no chance. If he says that's an odd question, or refuses to answer, or says no, then you stand a chance.
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    To be honest, I think he was pretty decent to you. I've known guys who would have led you on - but the second he wasn't feeling it he was very straight to you and ended it. He probably fancied you, but felt like he had more of a connection with this other girl as he'd known her longer. It's a shame, because if you'd come along sooner you might have been first choice. But there's nothing you can do about it now, best to move on.

    However, it's important that if he comes back for more you clarify that he is definetely not involved with other women, otherwise you could end up as his booty call.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know if I agree with you really. We got on well, then I found out he was seeing someone, yes ok so I got with him knowing this fact, but then when he came round I was quite strong with my point about not wanting anything to happen whilst he was still seeing her. He knew I liked him but that was my position from then on. When I went round his to collect some stuff we chatted - he said after all he wanted to get to know me. I didn't make anything happen, sticking to what I had said, but I still told him I was interested in him.

    If anything it was him with the mixed signals - he was the one doing the overt flirting but not making a move, saying he was staying with his girlfriend, but he wanted to get to know me more and how things would be different if he had met me before her.

    I didn't really know where I was with him, aside from the fact I got the impression I was attractive to him, but I made my stance very clear to him and wasn't the one touching flirtily and hugging and kissing him on the cheek.
    Very late reply but whatever. I think you should just forget about him, make him no more than a friend - you wouldn't want someone who has the potential to cheat anyways.

    Go outside and have fun look for another guy you like, make sure you show you're not hung up about him and let him see your happy with another guy this will make him give up. Stop hanging onto the hope he will change and come back for you.

    Kk Love.
 
 
 
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