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Is this sexual abuse? watch

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    (Original post by Angie varona)
    brb restarting windows explorer2000 since no pics
    You are sick. Or making a taste out of bad taste. This is not merely a case of tits or gtfo.

    (Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
    It's not common.. you just have a ****ing strange family.
    If you look carefully: it is another anon user. Someone else has posted anon.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok thank you. Just to be clear I was confused whether it was or not because of his young age. A few friends of mine considered it just 'experimenting' because of how young he was, and truthfully myself I've often doubted whether he really knew what he was doing or not. If he did know what he was doing then I'm confused about whether he knew the full extent of it or whether he just did it and didn't bother to think about the consequences. Either way I'm still confused.

    I'm not sure reporting him would do much good. It happened a long time ago and as well as that it's just my word against his, he could easily say it never happened. I did have diary entires which described what happened years later but I destoryed them so I don't think anything can happen. Thanks for the advice.
    Age of criminal responsibility in the uk is: 10 +. I know some may say 10+ ? :lolwut: but I'm sure nowadays a lot if kids that age know touching someone "there" isn't right. I knew what rape was at 10.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Honestly?? This is actually really common!

    I know a guy whose sister slept with him when he was about 12 and her 17. She did it to ''see what it was like''.

    My best friend and her cousin brother did anal when she was about 5 or 6. Her cousin brother was 12. No joke.

    My cousin brother tried to show me what "love game" (sex) was 10 years ago when I was 6 and him 5. He said his friend showed him at school. I stopped it as soon as I realised wtf he was doing.

    My cousin sister tried doing it with me when I was about 8 years old. I knew what she was doing and didn't let it happen. She was about 12/13 at the time.

    There's a hell of a lot more but these are the few I can only think of now.

    Please keep anon or delete!
    wtf is a cousin brother/cousin sister?
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    #1

    (Original post by Agent Smirnoff)
    Age of criminal responsibility in the uk is: 10 +. I know some may say 10+ ? :lolwut: but I'm sure nowadays a lot if kids that age know touching someone "there" isn't right. I knew what rape was at 10.
    Would you say it's sexual abuse?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Honestly?? This is actually really common!

    I know a guy whose sister slept with him when he was about 12 and her 17. She did it to ''see what it was like''.

    My best friend and her cousin brother did anal when she was about 5 or 6. Her cousin brother was 12. No joke.

    My cousin brother tried to show me what "love game" (sex) was 10 years ago when I was 6 and him 5. He said his friend showed him at school. I stopped it as soon as I realised wtf he was doing.

    My cousin sister tried doing it with me when I was about 8 years old. I knew what she was doing and didn't let it happen. She was about 12/13 at the time.

    There's a hell of a lot more but these are the few I can only think of now.

    Please keep anon or delete!

    Are you saying it isn't sexual abuse then?
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    When I was about 5 one of the older girls at primary school took me to the toilets and took down both of our trousers and "showed me what sex was". It basically involved touching public areas and like thrusting back and forth as far as I remember. I don't think it was abuse really, I just think she had seen something she shouldn't have at that age. Still didn't like it very much though. I think she can only have been about 8 or 9 though, 11 or 12 is different. Its old enough to know better, and it sounds like what he did to you was quite serious.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would you say it's sexual abuse?

    Yes. It is sexual abuse. I don't mean to be funny but .... I did state this in one of my posts already!

    The majority seem to say it is sexual abuse , it is now up to the relevant authorities to determine if it is sexual abuse. Which they most likely will think it is.


    If it is your word against his , chances are it will be hard to do anything
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    (Original post by Agent Smirnoff)
    Yes. It is sexual abuse. I don't mean to be funny but .... I did state this in one of my posts already!

    The majority seem to say it is sexual abuse , it is now up to the relevant authorities to determine if it is sexual abuse. Which they most likely will think it is.


    If it is your word against his , chances are it will be hard to do anything
    If it was a one of incident over 11 years ago, do you not think that the family drama and heartbreak that going to the authorities would bring might not be worth it?
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    That's rubbish. He was 4-5 years younger than you.
    When I remember back at that time, we used to play among ourselves but the siblings would join in as well. And many of them were that much younger, still we didn't really treat them much different.
    Everyone here is screaming rape, but none actually knows the proper situation. I would look at this advice really carefully.

    What I mean is, for example, did he force you to do it? Or did it just go something like: "blabla, touch me here" "ok" "I touch you there" "blabla" at his age he was definitely new to his sexuality, so maybe he thought this was natural.

    On the other hand, if he actually forced you to do it, that's different. In that case he knew he was doing something wrong.
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    An 11 year old should be too young to have a sense of causal cognition. See a therapist, if it's bothering you, but you can't really blame someone that young.
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    (Original post by FrigidSymphony)
    An 11 year old should be too young to have a sense of causal cognition. See a therapist, if it's bothering you, but you can't really blame someone that young.
    That is rubbish.
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    #4

    (I am a girl) When i was about nine a neighbour who was also female (aged 15) fingered me, and made me do the same to her. That was many years ago, but i still think about it and it's caused me much heartache and confusion over my own sexuality. I don't count it as sexual abuse due to how old we both were, and also as I do not feel like it was malicious in any way and i never said no.
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    What I find odd is that it didn't bother you until society told you that it should have done.
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    Obviously sexual abuse because 11 year old boys know all the sex-related laws, don't they. Oh, wait.

    He probably saw his dad watching porn, didn't know what exactly was going on, and then wanted to try what he had seen for himself. Seriously OP, if its bothered you for 12 years and you haven't said anything, then the chances of getting anyone prosecuted are very low, especially given you were 7, and he was 11.

    If it really bothered you, you would not have waited until you were this old.

    (P.s. I do not condone what was done, obviously, but I think that it is unlikely he was 'fingering you' knowing that he was doing so illegally. It is of course disturbing.)
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    (Original post by TickTockBoom)
    That is rubbish.
    When it comes to sexual abuse, no.

    Everyone loves condemning, being able to judge, etc. Don't be too quick to do it.
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    (Original post by Jack-)
    Obviously sexual abuse because 11 year old boys know all the sex-related laws, don't they. Oh, wait.

    He probably saw his dad watching porn, didn't know what exactly was going on, and then wanted to try what he had seen for himself. Seriously OP, if its bothered you for 12 years and you haven't said anything, then the chances of getting anyone prosecuted are very low, especially given you were 7, and he was 11.

    If it really bothered you, you would not have waited until you were this old.

    (P.s. I do not condone what was done, obviously, but I think that it is unlikely he was 'fingering you' knowing that he was doing so illegally. It is of course disturbing.)
    Its not about knowing the legality of the situation, its about knowing right and wrong. An 11 yr old knows its not ok to innapropriately touch a younger child.
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    (Original post by FrigidSymphony)
    When it comes to sexual abuse, no.

    Everyone loves condemning, being able to judge, etc. Don't be too quick to do it.
    11 year olds are not innocents. A few girls from my school had "consensual" sex in y7 with boys a couple of years older, loads of us shoplifted, some of the boys smoked weed, quite a few smoked cigarettes. I'm pretty sure everyone had an understanding that what they were doing was "wrong". Obviously your decision making abilities are not as advanced as those of an adult, but you know that innapropriately touching a younger child is not ok. Those kinds of moral messages get drummed into you from a young age.

    I volunteered in a primary school and one of the y5 boys started trying to tell me made up stories about his sexual experience, presumably to impress me. Obviously I reported it to a teacher straight away. My point is that he was pretty knowledgeable about the topic, and would definitely have known it wasn't ok to touch another child intimately, particularly a younger child and especially without their consent.

    I'm not saying that the brother was some sort of monster, and it sounds like he was motivated more by curiosity than anything else, but he would have known he was doing something wrong.
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    (Original post by TickTockBoom)
    Its not about knowing the legality of the situation, its about knowing right and wrong. An 11 yr old knows its not ok to innapropriately touch a younger child.
    There is a massive difference between knowing something 'is not OK' and 'is strictly illegal and can result in a charge of sexual abuse and years in prison'.

    The boy may well have known the former, but not the latter.

    Also, OP, did he physically force you to commit these acts, or verbally ask you to?
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    (Original post by TickTockBoom)
    11 year olds are not innocents. A few girls from my school had "consensual" sex in y7 with boys a couple of years older, loads of us shoplifted, some of the boys smoked weed, quite a few smoked cigarettes. I'm pretty sure everyone had an understanding that what they were doing was "wrong". Obviously your decision making abilities are not as advanced as those of an adult, but you know that innapropriately touching a younger child is not ok. Those kinds of moral messages get drummed into you from a young age.

    I volunteered in a primary school and one of the y5 boys started trying to tell me made up stories about his sexual experience, presumably to impress me. Obviously I reported it to a teacher straight away. My point is that he was pretty knowledgeable about the topic, and would definitely have known it wasn't ok to touch another child intimately, particularly a younger child and especially without their consent.

    I'm not saying that the brother was some sort of monster, and it sounds like he was motivated more by curiosity than anything else, but he would have known he was doing something wrong.
    *******s. Ethics require a level of conceptual understanding that is predicated by a basic amount of metaphysical awareness. They're not inherent, nor are they "drummed in" from an early age- parents can try, but ethics don't come that easily. Children shoplifting don't necessarily have a way to know it's wrong. As for smoking and having sex, who's to say that actually is immoral?

    Too easy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I sort of knew it was wrong but I wasn't really sure and I never realised what had happened until I was much older.
    Did it affect you straight away after? Or did you not think much about it.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The problem is he was only 11/12 at the time so I'm unsure as whether it counts as sexual abuse since he was only a child too.

    This was left me very conflicted and terribly confused throughout my life and I would love to have gained an somewhat definate answer from this, and then hopefully be able to move on with my life.
    Nobody can tell YOU whether it was abuse. That's up for YOU to decide.

    If you didn't think it was wrong at the time, and you are only confused to whether it was wrong because other people told you to think that later, then it wasn't.

    The only definite answer you're going to get is from yourself, and whether you decide how wrong it actually was or not. It depends how much serious harm you think it has caused you.
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    (Original post by FrigidSymphony)
    *******s. Ethics require a level of conceptual understanding that is predicated by a basic amount of metaphysical awareness. They're not inherent, nor are they "drummed in" from an early age- parents can try, but ethics don't come that easily. Children shoplifting don't necessarily have a way to know it's wrong. As for smoking and having sex, who's to say that actually is immoral?

    Too easy.
    When I was robbing sweets I certainly knew it was wrong. I definitely knew it was wrong to hurt someone else, particularly a younger child. I just think you have an image of the mental capacities of an 11 year old that is really more representative of a child of 7 or 8. Do you actually have any contact with kids of that age?
 
 
 
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