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Developing Feelings for Best Friend
I know this has probably been done about a million times, but:
I've been at uni since hte middle of September. The first few days here I met a guy - we clicked straight away, and we've become really really good mates. The thing is I've started getting nervous whenever I'm going to see him; I get butterflies in my stomach when I know he's coming over, and I blush when I first see him. But then when we're just talking it's fine, and once the initial 'hello's' are out of the way, it all kinda subsides.
He's a pretty good looking guy, and he really makes me laugh. I've never in my life had such a good friend, who I can talk to about everything, and he can talk to me too. He told me something last week he'd only ever told two people at home who helped him deal with it, and I was so honoured.
I can't lose him as my friend, he means way too much to me - but I can't fancy him like this, it can't be healthy. I'm pretty sure he doens't like me the same back.
Argh! Any suggestions?? I'm just so confused!
I've been at uni since hte middle of September. The first few days here I met a guy - we clicked straight away, and we've become really really good mates. The thing is I've started getting nervous whenever I'm going to see him; I get butterflies in my stomach when I know he's coming over, and I blush when I first see him. But then when we're just talking it's fine, and once the initial 'hello's' are out of the way, it all kinda subsides.
He's a pretty good looking guy, and he really makes me laugh. I've never in my life had such a good friend, who I can talk to about everything, and he can talk to me too. He told me something last week he'd only ever told two people at home who helped him deal with it, and I was so honoured.
I can't lose him as my friend, he means way too much to me - but I can't fancy him like this, it can't be healthy. I'm pretty sure he doens't like me the same back.
Argh! Any suggestions?? I'm just so confused!
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I had sex with my best friend, now our friendship is like a dull marriage.
Leave it for the moment, and try and hide that you fancy him. Chances are it will go away. If you do want to get off with him, you should both just get drunk and see what happens.
MB
MB
Don't do anything for the time being - it's probably just a phase that will pass. If not, then chances are you'll both end up feeling the same way about each other. Some of the best relationships are based on people being the best of friends first.
Poica you're very funny...you like killing people don't you 
ANYWAY
, in reponse to the OP, i'd say just hold in there and try and see if, and how he is with you - you know...how does he behave with you,,, can you see any signs that he may like you in the way you have begun to like him?
This is easier said than done...as couple years back, girl i asked out, i'd sworn she had felt the same way about me - so whilst having deep feelings, your own perceptions can be ridiculously distorted - so just to be warned! I guess a less risky way is to somehow find out how he thinks of you, through say a medium of sorts, through someone else, a close friend, who you can trust to keep schtum, he/she could do some discrete private 'detective work' to find out what he thinks of you.
ANYWAY
, in reponse to the OP, i'd say just hold in there and try and see if, and how he is with you - you know...how does he behave with you,,, can you see any signs that he may like you in the way you have begun to like him?This is easier said than done...as couple years back, girl i asked out, i'd sworn she had felt the same way about me - so whilst having deep feelings, your own perceptions can be ridiculously distorted - so just to be warned! I guess a less risky way is to somehow find out how he thinks of you, through say a medium of sorts, through someone else, a close friend, who you can trust to keep schtum, he/she could do some discrete private 'detective work' to find out what he thinks of you.
wizard
Poica you're very funny...you like killing people don't you
ANYWAY , in reponse to the OP, i'd say just hold in there and try and see if, and how he is with you - you know...how does he behave with you,,, can you see any signs that he may like you in the way you have begun to like him?
This is easier said than done...as couple years back, girl i asked out, i'd sworn she had felt the same way about me - so whilst having deep feelings, your own perceptions can be ridiculously distorted - so just to be warned! I guess a less risky way is to somehow find out how he thinks of you, through say a medium of sorts, through someone else, a close friend, who you can trust to keep schtum, he/she could do some discrete private 'detective work' to find out what he thinks of you.
ANYWAY
, in reponse to the OP, i'd say just hold in there and try and see if, and how he is with you - you know...how does he behave with you,,, can you see any signs that he may like you in the way you have begun to like him?This is easier said than done...as couple years back, girl i asked out, i'd sworn she had felt the same way about me - so whilst having deep feelings, your own perceptions can be ridiculously distorted - so just to be warned! I guess a less risky way is to somehow find out how he thinks of you, through say a medium of sorts, through someone else, a close friend, who you can trust to keep schtum, he/she could do some discrete private 'detective work' to find out what he thinks of you.
Death is a necessary part of life. And if other people die, it saves you a lot of hassle..
Poica
Death is a necessary part of life. And if other people die, it saves you a lot of hassle..
ffs poica live and let live...
wizard
Poica you're very funny...you like killing people don't you
ANYWAY , in reponse to the OP, i'd say just hold in there and try and see if, and how he is with you - you know...how does he behave with you,,, can you see any signs that he may like you in the way you have begun to like him?
This is easier said than done...as couple years back, girl i asked out, i'd sworn she had felt the same way about me - so whilst having deep feelings, your own perceptions can be ridiculously distorted - so just to be warned! I guess a less risky way is to somehow find out how he thinks of you, through say a medium of sorts, through someone else, a close friend, who you can trust to keep schtum, he/she could do some discrete private 'detective work' to find out what he thinks of you.
ANYWAY
, in reponse to the OP, i'd say just hold in there and try and see if, and how he is with you - you know...how does he behave with you,,, can you see any signs that he may like you in the way you have begun to like him?This is easier said than done...as couple years back, girl i asked out, i'd sworn she had felt the same way about me - so whilst having deep feelings, your own perceptions can be ridiculously distorted - so just to be warned! I guess a less risky way is to somehow find out how he thinks of you, through say a medium of sorts, through someone else, a close friend, who you can trust to keep schtum, he/she could do some discrete private 'detective work' to find out what he thinks of you.
A good few of my other mates know, and have decided he's oblivious to it, as I can be damn obvious sometimes without meaning to be! One mate is going to 'casually bring up" my name in conversation and see how he reacts.
Thing is he's quite a touchy-feeley person in general and so am I - people already seem to think we're together, that's why it's kinda difficult for me, and other people, to tell what he thinks!
Ahh well. You seem to know what to do then. Hope it works out... 
If you feel stongly about him then why dont you just tell him,you never know he could have exactly the same feelings back for you.But only you know the situation so you know whats best to do really,go with your gut instinct and it wont lead you wrong.
pixiepeep
I know this has probably been done about a million times, but:
I've been at uni since hte middle of September. The first few days here I met a guy - we clicked straight away, and we've become really really good mates. The thing is I've started getting nervous whenever I'm going to see him; I get butterflies in my stomach when I know he's coming over, and I blush when I first see him. But then when we're just talking it's fine, and once the initial 'hello's' are out of the way, it all kinda subsides.
He's a pretty good looking guy, and he really makes me laugh. I've never in my life had such a good friend, who I can talk to about everything, and he can talk to me too. He told me something last week he'd only ever told two people at home who helped him deal with it, and I was so honoured.
I can't lose him as my friend, he means way too much to me - but I can't fancy him like this, it can't be healthy. I'm pretty sure he doens't like me the same back.
Argh! Any suggestions?? I'm just so confused!
I've been at uni since hte middle of September. The first few days here I met a guy - we clicked straight away, and we've become really really good mates. The thing is I've started getting nervous whenever I'm going to see him; I get butterflies in my stomach when I know he's coming over, and I blush when I first see him. But then when we're just talking it's fine, and once the initial 'hello's' are out of the way, it all kinda subsides.
He's a pretty good looking guy, and he really makes me laugh. I've never in my life had such a good friend, who I can talk to about everything, and he can talk to me too. He told me something last week he'd only ever told two people at home who helped him deal with it, and I was so honoured.
I can't lose him as my friend, he means way too much to me - but I can't fancy him like this, it can't be healthy. I'm pretty sure he doens't like me the same back.
Argh! Any suggestions?? I'm just so confused!
yeah ditto at the moment, but we aren't at university....I really really feel like I'm in love with him but meh...he doesn't feel the same, me and my friend tell each other everything about who we fancy, if theres anything wrong etc....and I think he's Mr. Right but that could just be me wanting and hoping.....but I don't think I could ever tell him that - but I hope it works out for you and your friend
I go out with my best friend - its amazing Best relationship I've ever had and by far the strongest too.
Best relationship I've ever had and by far the strongest too.
pixiepeep
I know this has probably been done about a million times, but:
I've been at uni since hte middle of September. The first few days here I met a guy - we clicked straight away, and we've become really really good mates. The thing is I've started getting nervous whenever I'm going to see him; I get butterflies in my stomach when I know he's coming over, and I blush when I first see him. But then when we're just talking it's fine, and once the initial 'hello's' are out of the way, it all kinda subsides.
He's a pretty good looking guy, and he really makes me laugh. I've never in my life had such a good friend, who I can talk to about everything, and he can talk to me too. He told me something last week he'd only ever told two people at home who helped him deal with it, and I was so honoured.
I can't lose him as my friend, he means way too much to me - but I can't fancy him like this, it can't be healthy. I'm pretty sure he doens't like me the same back.
Argh! Any suggestions?? I'm just so confused!
I've been at uni since hte middle of September. The first few days here I met a guy - we clicked straight away, and we've become really really good mates. The thing is I've started getting nervous whenever I'm going to see him; I get butterflies in my stomach when I know he's coming over, and I blush when I first see him. But then when we're just talking it's fine, and once the initial 'hello's' are out of the way, it all kinda subsides.
He's a pretty good looking guy, and he really makes me laugh. I've never in my life had such a good friend, who I can talk to about everything, and he can talk to me too. He told me something last week he'd only ever told two people at home who helped him deal with it, and I was so honoured.
I can't lose him as my friend, he means way too much to me - but I can't fancy him like this, it can't be healthy. I'm pretty sure he doens't like me the same back.
Argh! Any suggestions?? I'm just so confused!
Maybe you're starting to fancy him just 'cause he's so perfect in every other way? You should probably wait and see whether this goes away on it's own. Friendships are much more likely to be long-lasting than romantic relationships anyway. But good luck whatever you decide to do - if it's meant to be, it will. xx
I met my bf at Uni last year in fresher's week and like you guys, we clicked straight away. We were inseparable all year and very close and all our mates always hinted that there was more between us. However, neither of us did anything all year and although it was hard having feelings for him, I'm glad that we spent the year being best friends. Over the summer, away from Uni and the influence of other people we finally discussed us and it turned out we both felt exactly the same way and we've now been together almost 5months. We're still the same best friends that we were. I wouldn't change anything about how it happened. By spending a year just being best of friends we have come to trust each other so much and are probably closer than a lot of couples, which is great because it means we tell each other if anything's bothering us and are a lot more open with one another.
My advice is that if you do really like him, you should tell him - his feelings could be mutual. However, like others have said, it could ruin your friendship and you have to decide which you value more! I'm really glad that I waited so long to make sure that my feelings were long-lasting and not just a crush. So I recommend that you wait a while, and see if you're feelings last; this will make sure that if it is just a crush, you won't ruin your friendship and if it's not, then the extra time you spend as friends will only help your relationship when it does develop.
Whatever you chose, you have to decide if the risks are worth losing your friend. In my case, I was terrified of losing him as a friend and I didn't want to risk it, but thankfully he chanced it and the risk was definitely worth it, but that's not always the case. Good luck
My advice is that if you do really like him, you should tell him - his feelings could be mutual. However, like others have said, it could ruin your friendship and you have to decide which you value more! I'm really glad that I waited so long to make sure that my feelings were long-lasting and not just a crush. So I recommend that you wait a while, and see if you're feelings last; this will make sure that if it is just a crush, you won't ruin your friendship and if it's not, then the extra time you spend as friends will only help your relationship when it does develop.
Whatever you chose, you have to decide if the risks are worth losing your friend. In my case, I was terrified of losing him as a friend and I didn't want to risk it, but thankfully he chanced it and the risk was definitely worth it, but that's not always the case. Good luck
Awww, poor you.
never mind, it is better it happens like that than you tell him and he says no. I have been down that road before and it nearly ended in disaster.
never mind, it is better it happens like that than you tell him and he says no. I have been down that road before and it nearly ended in disaster.
Related discussions
- I think i feel lonely
- Is it normal to have “friendship fatigue” as you age?
- Advice: I like my best friend
- Valentine's with a friend
- Scared about leaving school for good.
- Kallisto's Sunday Question: Siblings
- transfer unis?
- Crush stuff!
- I have no friends at uni
- Highly regarded universities for computer science
- Nothing in common with people my age
- Art GCSE
- Overthinking personal statement
- how do i get over him??
- sussex uni friends
- Should I go for it or not?
- Help! Should I stay or go?
- lonely at uni
- Social help
- Is it normal to feel jealous of those who have a wonderful social life?
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