Really big boyfriend problem.. HELP! Watch

amison
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I've been with my boyfriend for eight months and I honestly believed he was the most perfect boyfriend I could possibly have. I've sacrificed a lot for him (friends, family, career) because I have been so certain that I would spend the rest of my life with him.

But then a few days ago, I found out that he has been messaging other girls on Facebook and other sites telling them that he's single and that they're really sexy, or whatever. The messages started a couple of months ago, just after I had a miscarriage, so I suppose I could understand if he was doing it as a way to handle the grief.

We had a pretty huge argument the other day, and he swore that he had stopped and would never do it again. I know that I should probably end it, but I found out last week that I'm pregnant, so I'm just really confused. Will there ever be a way for me to trust him again? What should I do? Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated!
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theseeker
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(Original post by amison)
I've been with my boyfriend for eight months and I honestly believed he was the most perfect boyfriend I could possibly have. I've sacrificed a lot for him (friends, family, career) because I have been so certain that I would spend the rest of my life with him.

But then a few days ago, I found out that he has been messaging other girls on Facebook and other sites telling them that he's single and that they're really sexy, or whatever. The messages started a couple of months ago, just after I had a miscarriage, so I suppose I could understand if he was doing it as a way to handle the grief.

We had a pretty huge argument the other day, and he swore that he had stopped and would never do it again. I know that I should probably end it, but I found out last week that I'm pregnant, so I'm just really confused. Will there ever be a way for me to trust him again? What should I do? Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated!
What's your gut instinct?
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Chillaxer
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Sounds like maybe he's taking the piss a bit. No-ones a saint though. Maybe if you have a kid this time, his love for you will grow.
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Noslew
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Abortion. This guy clearly doesn't have complete commitment to you. Don't let emotion get the better of you in this case. . .eight months isn't very long at all.
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SpicyStrawberry
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You really need to tell him that you're expecting a baby and it might bring him down to Earth a bit and realise he can't continue acting like a child. If he's afraid of commitment that's his problem because he needs to realise there is now a baby involved and he should be thinking for your child's best interests.

If he refuses to stop with messaging these women I would say you put your foot down and tell him it's them or you. He would be a fool if he were to choose those girls over his pregnant girlfriend and will show you what kind of person he is.

I would not suggest aborting your baby like the person above has suggested without having a long hard think about this, you must talk to you partner about it too because although he is messing you around, he is still the father of this baby.

Why the neg rep?
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Mr Happy
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Hi amison.
I understand this is a very serious matter for you, your boyfriend and your potential baby. Are you against abortion? Also what does your boyfriend think of that idea? From the point of view of an outsider with no biased emotions in this matter I would tell you to have an abortion as soon as possible and then decide upon whether or not to remain in a relationship with your current boyfriend. In this situation, that solution will leave you with the fewest problems. Only have a baby if you know, 100%, that you AND your boyfriend are ready for it and your relationship is stable.
Mr Happy.
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amison
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Thank you all so much for your replies - really wasn't expecting any responses tbh!

We had a pretty big discussion about the possibility of abortion and, given our recent miscarriage, have decided against an abortion. I think we needed to have a proper conversation, and I think it was the responses here that prompted me to start that conversation so thank you

He does seem pretty ashamed of himself, and has sworn that it will never happen again. He seems excited about the prospect of becoming a father, so I think maybe he just needed something to force him to grow up. I am, obviously, a bit apprehensive but I love him and I feel we can survive this.

Once again, I'd just like to thank you all. You've all been a great help!
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SpicyStrawberry
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(Original post by amison)
Thank you all so much for your replies - really wasn't expecting any responses tbh!

We had a pretty big discussion about the possibility of abortion and, given our recent miscarriage, have decided against an abortion. I think we needed to have a proper conversation, and I think it was the responses here that prompted me to start that conversation so thank you

He does seem pretty ashamed of himself, and has sworn that it will never happen again. He seems excited about the prospect of becoming a father, so I think maybe he just needed something to force him to grow up. I am, obviously, a bit apprehensive but I love him and I feel we can survive this.

Once again, I'd just like to thank you all. You've all been a great help!
Wishing you the best of luck with your future
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amison
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(Original post by SpicyStrawberry)
Wishing you the best of luck with your future
Thank you so much same to you
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Mr Happy
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It sounds like you're handling the situation very well. Best of luck!
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amison
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Thank you
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