abusive relationship, help Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
please keep anon

i have been going out with this guy for a while now, about 3 years. throughout our relationship we have always argued, its constant and doesnt end. i never seem to be able to do anything right. he has hurt me a few times with hits and spanks (nothing serious but none the less it hurt both physically and emotionally) and stupidly id always take him back because he would cry or say sorry or tell me he loves me. i know it was stupid to take him back, but he tells me it is my fault for his behaviour and makes me feel almost sorry for him. he is agressive and violent to others as well and tells me i am to blame for this. he always calls me a c***, which i hate i do not like the use of the word and have told him. he tells me all the time he will stop calling me it, its just he gets "angry" and needs me to listen to him and by hitting or calling me a c*** is the only way it'll get through to me. he tells me if i stop acting like one, he will stop calling me it. i know there are two sides to every story though, but i cant help but feel mistreated.

i hate the thought i have made someone this angry they would do this and be horrible to other people. he breaks up with me an awful lot over the phone, and if i do not call him back immediatly to beg for him to get back with me, he sends me messages and constantly rings or calls my home phone until i call him back.

i am worried because he told me that if i was to break up with him, he would hunt me down and find me and he will make my life hell. i am very scared. what should i do? i do not love him anymore, it has gone on too far and this is too painful. i am worried if i leave him he will find me. he said it may not be now, but may be in months or years to come.

i would like to think i am not a terrible person, but i feel it. at times he tells me i abuse him emotionally when i do not listen to him and when i talk over him when we are arguing. i do not have many friends and he is the only one i lean on. i am feeling a bit messed up. if anyone has some sensible advice that would be much appreciated.
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