How to prepare oneself?? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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Anon or delete please...

The guy I've been seeing for the past 5 months has gone away for an extended length of time, and we had planned to sleep together prior to his leaving but never did because it would be too hard (no pun intended) for both of us when he'd left...

Anyway, he's recently been in contact saying he wishes we had and asked if we still could when he returns. We spoke about before he left and he said he would've but didn't want to hurt me then leave, and wants to be here with me afterwards.....

I'm a virgin, and was very shy about my body before he left which he also mentioned in our conversation and suggested that we communicate via webcam to try and become more 'comfortable' around each other. I declined to doing this because it doesn't appeal to me, but I do understand his point.

So my question is.... how do I prepare myself for when he gets back?? It sounds stupid, but basically what steps should I take to make myself feel more confident about my body??
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Clumsy_Chemist
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#2
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Go swimming. Lots of girls are too under-confident to be seen in a bikini. Don't know if this would help in your case, but it'll help you tone up a bit, surely good for your confidence
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Anonymous #2
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I only had sex with my bf after we were both very comfortable touching and after he had fingered me a few times and I gave him a handjob.

I'd recommend getting condoms and perhaps going for some hormonal protection (we've had issues with condoms falling off once so I was glad I was on the pill).

Don't expect it to be wonderful. It was a bit uncomfortable for me at first to be honest and some people get pain / blood for their firsgt few times. But things can only get better.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Clumsy_Chemist)
Go swimming. Lots of girls are too under-confident to be seen in a bikini. Don't know if this would help in your case, but it'll help you tone up a bit, surely good for your confidence
I'm not too bad with being seen in a bikini so suppose that's a good thing, I'm just really bashful when it comes to him touching me, or exposing any part of myself to him that's why he suggested using the web cam that so hopefully I'd become more confident in him seeing me.

But thanks for the advice, and maybe working out, or going swimming will help because there's not an awful lot that can be hidden in a bikini
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Blueflare
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Maybe instead of having sex with him right away you should just do other stuff for a while so that you gradually get more and more comfortable with him. Having sex before you're really comfortable with it is often a bad experience for people. But one you feel able to fully relax with the guy, it will be so much better.
Remember that he is with you because he is attracted to you and (presumably) loves you. Unless he's an idiot he's not going to be put off by whatever "imperfections" you think you have. He likes you for who you are, try to like yourself too.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Blueflare)
Maybe instead of having sex with him right away you should just do other stuff for a while so that you gradually get more and more comfortable with him. Having sex before you're really comfortable with it is often a bad experience for people. But one you feel able to fully relax with the guy, it will be so much better.
Remember that he is with you because he is attracted to you and (presumably) loves you. Unless he's an idiot he's not going to be put off by whatever "imperfections" you think you have. He likes you for who you are, try to like yourself too.
Thanks, I think taking it slow will be the best option.... I think he'd perfectly understand about taking it slow, he understands my nerves and did say we could take it slow.... I was just wondering if there was anything I could do prior to his return to try and push the process along a little....
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Clumsy_Chemist
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I don't think you should webcam if you're not comfortable with him really. Do other things a few times before you finally have sex and you'll be fine
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Clumsy_Chemist)
I don't think you should webcam if you're not comfortable with him really. Do other things a few times before you finally have sex and you'll be fine
You're right, I did explain to him that that really wasn't my kind of thing, plus I don't know if this is me being old-fashioned or just a prude, but I think the first time we get to 'see' each other in that way should be in person, not over a computer. It just seems too impersonal to do it over a computer...
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Anonymous #3
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Sounds a bit creepy to me...make sure he's sincere and not videoing you on webcam and showing his mates :-~
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sounds a bit creepy to me...make sure he's sincere and not videoing you on webcam and showing his mates :-~
I hope to god he'd never do that too me, but I trust he wouldn't....
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Anonymous #1
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Do I sound like I've been taken for a complete fool???

It's just dawned on me the realisation of what I've agreed to, I've told this guy yeah sure I'll sleep with you when you get back, which might not be for another 6 months, so now I'm just expected to wait for him???

I feel like such an idiot
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Anonymous #1
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Bump.
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Meteor64
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#13
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If you love him, waiting for 6 months shouldn't be a problem, right? Hes waiting for you, by the sounds of it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Meteor64)
If you love him, waiting for 6 months shouldn't be a problem, right? Hes waiting for you, by the sounds of it.
I suppose you're right..... We both know we really like and care for each other (he's never said he loves me, and neither have I because things between us were never legit, and didn't want to come on too strong) so *fingers crossed* that everything goes well, we both commit to waiting to be together again and can finally make a proper go of things

Thanks..
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Meteor64
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I've made the mistake of not saying what I really feel before- it really doesn't end well, because neither of you are aware of the others true feelings. If you love him, say it. If he leaves you for that... well, at least he left then, and didn't screw you around later. If he loves you too, he will say it. Chances are he's probably thinking the same thing as you, if its the case.
Make sure you tell him before you sleep with him, mind. You don't want to sleep with him to only find hes played you. I'm not saying he will, but its possible. You know him better than me :P
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Meteor64)
I've made the mistake of not saying what I really feel before- it really doesn't end well, because neither of you are aware of the others true feelings. If you love him, say it. If he leaves you for that... well, at least he left then, and didn't screw you around later. If he loves you too, he will say it. Chances are he's probably thinking the same thing as you, if its the case.
Make sure you tell him before you sleep with him, mind. You don't want to sleep with him to only find hes played you. I'm not saying he will, but its possible. You know him better than me :P
That's very true, I'd probably be more devastated if he never bothered again after we'd slept together, than if he never bothered because I told him I loved him.....

Going to have to find a more personal way than fb message to say it though, could either e-mail him or try and talk to him over msn/web vcam then atleast I can gauge his reaction by the look on his face.... Get a true reflection of what he feels...
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ForKicks
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surprised hasn't been mention yet, but if you have hair..there. Groom
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Bibushka
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#18
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Anon or delete please...

The guy I've been seeing for the past 5 months has gone away for an extended length of time, and we had planned to sleep together prior to his leaving but never did because it would be too hard (no pun intended) for both of us when he'd left...

Anyway, he's recently been in contact saying he wishes we had and asked if we still could when he returns. We spoke about before he left and he said he would've but didn't want to hurt me then leave, and wants to be here with me afterwards.....

I'm a virgin, and was very shy about my body before he left which he also mentioned in our conversation and suggested that we communicate via webcam to try and become more 'comfortable' around each other. I declined to doing this because it doesn't appeal to me, but I do understand his point.

So my question is.... how do I prepare myself for when he gets back?? It sounds stupid, but basically what steps should I take to make myself feel more confident about my body??
You don't need to be prepared. All you dotta do is to have passion in you,to want it so much and to do it. Just as simple. Not to think of how it will be,what's your body like,etc...Just do it.You both like it,so go for it.Any mistakes will be funny for you,and you'll accept them as experience. I'm happy for you,'cause you'll do it with someone you love
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Anonymous #1
#19
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(Original post by ForKicks)
surprised hasn't been mention yet, but if you have hair..there. Groom
Not exactly the preparation I was on about, but cheers... I know about that one haha
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Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#20
(Original post by Bibushka)
You don't need to be prepared. All you dotta do is to have passion in you,to want it so much and to do it. Just as simple. Not to think of how it will be,what's your body like,etc...Just do it.You both like it,so go for it.Any mistakes will be funny for you,and you'll accept them as experience. I'm happy for you,'cause you'll do it with someone you love
Thanks I'd kinda given up thinking anything was ever going to come of it, but to know he still feels so much for me, and wants to take things further when he returns gave me hope for us yet....
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