I am a seriously awful driver :( Watch

dirtyoldriver
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So I passed my test back in October, with a VERY dodgy pass. I scraped by with 8 minors, and at the end of it the examiner said, "I've passed you but I'm concerned about you being on the road. It seemed like you were going to unravel and make a huge mistake at any moment" or words to that effect. Totally right too, I got to a clearly marked no-right turn and asked him which way he wanted me to go :facepalm:

I honestly shouldn't have passed that day, it was a complete fluke- I'd miserably failed every single mock beforehand and definitely didn't feel secure in my own ability, and the comments afterwards only sort of confirmed my feeling that I'm basically crap.

Now I've had some occasionally good drives since then, but on the whole I am an absolute state on the roads. Mainly I'm just nervous and worried constantly so often I'll second guess decisions at places like roundabouts and junctions and just **** up.

I have a massive list of places I avoid because it's tricky and I've had trouble before (joining dual carriageways, turning right at four-way junctions) & also can't park any way other than forwards, and even then it takes me a good few goes and the thought of busy supermarket car parks makes me break out in a cold sweat.

It's annoying because it's not like I'm not conscientious, or I make mistakes because I'm over confident, it's exactly the opposite. I'm just terrified of doing something wrong because I have no faith in my ability, which has exactly the reverse effect but I don't know how to change my attitude.

It really is quite serious, today I nearly missed some red traffic lights at a pedestrian crossing and nearly had to emergency stop, as well as stalling twice in a traffic jam (moving at about 1 mph, seriously) + other things.

tl;dr: am terrible driver and would like somebody to take my licence away before I kill someone. Unfortunately this isn't practical but I'm too ****ing nervous to go out on the roads because I constantly make mistakes because I'm too ****ing nervous. HELP ME. Thank you.
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dirtyoldriver
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Sorry it's long, I just need to know where to go from here because I can't not drive for the rest of my life, or drive like this for the rest of my life.
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Arcanine
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Just go practice more.
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mjharmstone
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(Original post by dirtyoldriver)
So I passed my test back in October, with a VERY dodgy pass. I scraped by with 8 minors, and at the end of it the examiner said, "I've passed you but I'm concerned about you being on the road. It seemed like you were going to unravel and make a huge mistake at any moment" or words to that effect. Totally right too, I got to a clearly marked no-right turn and asked him which way he wanted me to go :facepalm:

I honestly shouldn't have passed that day, it was a complete fluke- I'd miserably failed every single mock beforehand and definitely didn't feel secure in my own ability, and the comments afterwards only sort of confirmed my feeling that I'm basically crap.

Now I've had some occasionally good drives since then, but on the whole I am an absolute state on the roads. Mainly I'm just nervous and worried constantly so often I'll second guess decisions at places like roundabouts and junctions and just **** up.

I have a massive list of places I avoid because it's tricky and I've had trouble before (joining dual carriageways, turning right at four-way junctions) & also can't park any way other than forwards, and even then it takes me a good few goes and the thought of busy supermarket car parks makes me break out in a cold sweat.

It's annoying because it's not like I'm not conscientious, or I make mistakes because I'm over confident, it's exactly the opposite. I'm just terrified of doing something wrong because I have no faith in my ability, which has exactly the reverse effect but I don't know how to change my attitude.

It really is quite serious, today I nearly missed some red traffic lights at a pedestrian crossing and nearly had to emergency stop, as well as stalling twice in a traffic jam (moving at about 1 mph, seriously) + other things.

tl;dr: am terrible driver and would like somebody to take my licence away before I kill someone. Unfortunately this isn't practical but I'm too ****ing nervous to go out on the roads because I constantly make mistakes because I'm too ****ing nervous. HELP ME. Thank you.
It might be worth thinking about doing pass plus and explaining to your instructor that you're not confident - your instructor is the one who'll pass you on pass plus eventually, so they can help you build your confidence up
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proud nd luvin it
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Wow, well the examiner wouldn't have passed you if he didn't think you were ready.

Try to build up your confidence on quieter roads first and then work your way up to trickier roads.

I would recommend doing your pass plus it helps you gain confidence in tricky situations.

Good luck!
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zovija
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Perhaps you could try doing pass plus? I don't know much about it but maybe you'll feel more confident after a little more supervised driving?
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Faustus Fotherby
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(Original post by dirtyoldriver)
So I passed my test back in October, with a VERY dodgy pass. I scraped by with 8 minors, and at the end of it the examiner said, "I've passed you but I'm concerned about you being on the road. It seemed like you were going to unravel and make a huge mistake at any moment" or words to that effect. Totally right too, I got to a clearly marked no-right turn and asked him which way he wanted me to go :facepalm:

I honestly shouldn't have passed that day, it was a complete fluke- I'd miserably failed every single mock beforehand and definitely didn't feel secure in my own ability, and the comments afterwards only sort of confirmed my feeling that I'm basically crap.

Now I've had some occasionally good drives since then, but on the whole I am an absolute state on the roads. Mainly I'm just nervous and worried constantly so often I'll second guess decisions at places like roundabouts and junctions and just **** up.

I have a massive list of places I avoid because it's tricky and I've had trouble before (joining dual carriageways, turning right at four-way junctions) & also can't park any way other than forwards, and even then it takes me a good few goes and the thought of busy supermarket car parks makes me break out in a cold sweat.

It's annoying because it's not like I'm not conscientious, or I make mistakes because I'm over confident, it's exactly the opposite. I'm just terrified of doing something wrong because I have no faith in my ability, which has exactly the reverse effect but I don't know how to change my attitude.

It really is quite serious, today I nearly missed some red traffic lights at a pedestrian crossing and nearly had to emergency stop, as well as stalling twice in a traffic jam (moving at about 1 mph, seriously) + other things.

tl;dr: am terrible driver and would like somebody to take my licence away before I kill someone. Unfortunately this isn't practical but I'm too ****ing nervous to go out on the roads because I constantly make mistakes because I'm too ****ing nervous. HELP ME. Thank you.
Everyone fails their mocks, I don't know anyone I spoke to whose driving instructor actually said they'd passed.

8 minors is not a "scrape" - 10 minors is the national average and it's 15 to actually fail isn't it? Regardless I also got 8 minors and while my friends would describe my driving style as "quirky" they've never sad they felt unsafe in my car. It's a bit sloppy but not dangerous.

I stopped at a green light the other day and it's been 3 years since I passed (though admittedly I only drive when I'm back on holiday from uni and even then I drive infrequently).

After I passed I still stalled occasionally as well. Don't let these things get to you - if you have to drive somewhere then before you go anywhere then do left turns round the block your house is on till you get back to your house (hope it's not too big otherwise go find a smaller block like I do). My driving instructor said if you can do that you'll be fine.

Honestly you're just unused to not having your instructor there and you'll be fine once you've got the confidence of being by yourself in place I used to get nervous but I'm fine now, even in slightly dodgy situations.
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Drewski
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Well, you don't have to drive... If it scares you that much and you think you're that bad, don't do it.

If you genuinely want to improve, become less scared and end up confident on the roads, you've got to get out there and practise.
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Scrappy-coco
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More girls take not - leave the men to drive an get back in the kitchen. joke.

In all seriousness, your not that bad of a driver otherwise you wouldnt have passed. im guessing your pretty young like 21 or under? driver instructors wont let any tom, **** or harry pass in that age group due to the statistics of accidents associated with them. im JUST starting to get the hang of driving in my lessons without stalling. from my experience, the right balance of confidence helps you to drive well. somehow, be more confident and you'll be a better driver
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dirtyoldriver
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I have thought about pass plus actually. I have no experience of motorway driving (I live on an island and we don't have any, and so far I've refused to drive on the mainland because... :afraid:) so it would probably be handy to get.

Definitely need some lessons or something on parking because it's getting silly. I just turn into a quivering wreck as soon as I get in the driver's seat!

My boyfriend's tried to drill into me that I must have been good enough to pass. But the fact that 40 minutes out of all the hours I'd done of driving I didn't make a major doesn't really seem to be a fair assessment. I just didn't do anything technically wrong enough. I have plenty of friends who's examiners wanted to pass them because they were really good, but made one slip up on the day which they would never make ordinarily. I'm the opposite, ordinarily I make about 5 'majors' every time I go out on the road
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Tinsley
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I know loads of people who got told 'Unfortunately you passed. By unfortunately, I mean I do not think you are ready and think you need some serious practice in order to be allowed to drive alone. But you didn't get enough minors or a major in which for me to fail you' sort of thing.

They're all fine drivers sometimes tests are just uber bad. Get out and practice with someone you trust in the car, perhaps a pass plus instructor if you want to do that, otherwise even a friend/parent/relative who can help you gain confidence.

I started lessons originally in April 2009 and didn't pass til March 2010 (had a summer of no lessons and missed a few elsewhere). I hated driving, still don't really like it and it makes me feel a little uneasy if I know I'm going somewhere (that damned roundabout near Stansted/Bishop Stortford :eek:) busy or particularly scarey. I've got SO much better though, I could still crash into someone when I next get in my car but I feel a lot more confident.

To be honest, maybe your cautiousness isn't such a bad thing. Hopefully you will just be extra careful and not suffer the arrogance some of us young drivers can get.
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dirtyoldriver
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(Original post by Faustus Fotherby)
Everyone fails their mocks, I don't know anyone I spoke to whose driving instructor actually said they'd passed.

8 minors is not a "scrape" - 10 minors is the national average and it's 15 to actually fail isn't it? Regardless I also got 8 minors and while my friends would describe my driving style as "quirky" they've never sad they felt unsafe in my car. It's a bit sloppy but not dangerous.

I stopped at a green light the other day and it's been 3 years since I passed (though admittedly I only drive when I'm back on holiday from uni and even then I drive infrequently).

After I passed I still stalled occasionally as well. Don't let these things get to you - if you have to drive somewhere then before you go anywhere then do left turns round the block your house is on till you get back to your house (hope it's not too big otherwise go find a smaller block like I do). My driving instructor said if you can do that you'll be fine.

Honestly you're just unused to not having your instructor there and you'll be fine once you've got the confidence of being by yourself in place I used to get nervous but I'm fine now, even in slightly dodgy situations.
Thanks I'm pretty sure my driving has been described as 'a bit dodgy' but I've never done anything drastic with other people in the car so generally it's ok, I just get a lot of jokes about how nobody reaaally wants to get in a car with me but they still do it so it can't be that awful :p:

The main problem is my boyfriend who tends to shout when I do something wrong, apparently this is an automatic reaction which can't be helped :rolleyes: so inevitably that knocks me even more, with friends they tend to laugh it off which means I can too. I think I just need to try and shake stuff off more and actually do things again when I get them wrong the first time, I'm very defeatist when it comes to driving.

I don't mind being a bit questionable, just sometimes it feels like I'm a genuine danger and I don't like being burdened with that responsibility
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I'm_Unsafe.
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Your poor driving is perpetuated by your lack of self belief. The fact that your examiner told you this at the end of your exam is probably playing on your mind and making you more nervous than you should be. So, two things
1) 8 minors is not 'scraping' a pass, if the examiner really thought you were that dodgy you would have had far more, if he thought you weren't safe he would have failed you
2) How long were you learning for? If you took your test quite early, you're just not as used to situations in driving that others who have learnt for longer will be aware of. In this case, Pass Plus is a good idea. If you were learning for quite a while, and were having problems in your lessons, then potentially something like seeing a hynotherapist (or even just finding some appropriate tapes) could help because no doubt you are capable of driving, it is your mind-set that's failing you (if you're wondering why I mentioned hypnotherapy, I used to use tapes when stressed about exams, plus my grandad is a hypnotherapist and it's pretty effective)
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Pixiefairy
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Practice makes perfect
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Faustus Fotherby
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(Original post by dirtyoldriver)
Thanks I'm pretty sure my driving has been described as 'a bit dodgy' but I've never done anything drastic with other people in the car so generally it's ok, I just get a lot of jokes about how nobody reaaally wants to get in a car with me but they still do it so it can't be that awful :p:

The main problem is my boyfriend who tends to shout when I do something wrong, apparently this is an automatic reaction which can't be helped :rolleyes: so inevitably that knocks me even more, with friends they tend to laugh it off which means I can too. I think I just need to try and shake stuff off more and actually do things again when I get them wrong the first time, I'm very defeatist when it comes to driving.

I don't mind being a bit questionable, just sometimes it feels like I'm a genuine danger and I don't like being burdened with that responsibility
One time my friend had to shut his eyes cos the move I was doing was so close to scraping someone's car But no one made a bit deal of it, they all just breathed a nervous sigh of relief and we all laughed it off.

Fortunately I don't have anyone having a go when I do something bad - my driving instructor was REALLY bad for that, would have a go at the smallest thing - I sometimes think I only passed first time because I hated him so much I didn't want to go back into lessons with him

My friend did once refuse to get in the car with me because I wasn't paying attention and the road was icy (had no icy road experience) and almost went into the back of someone but he was like "urr CAR!" and I breaked fine but that's probably the worst thing that's happened and everyone's forgotten it now anyway
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dirtyoldriver
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(Original post by Faustus Fotherby)
One time my friend had to shut his eyes cos the move I was doing was so close to scraping someone's car But no one made a bit deal of it, they all just breathed a nervous sigh of relief and we all laughed it off.

Fortunately I don't have anyone having a go when I do something bad - my driving instructor was REALLY bad for that, would have a go at the smallest thing - I sometimes think I only passed first time because I hated him so much I didn't want to go back into lessons with him

My friend did once refuse to get in the car with me because I wasn't paying attention and the road was icy (had no icy road experience) and almost went into the back of someone but he was like "urr CAR!" and I breaked fine but that's probably the worst thing that's happened and everyone's forgotten it now anyway
Hahah, I have a friend who eats while driving and it's so disturbing, once he propped the wheel up with his knees on a straight stretch of road and began eating a mousse. Guess I could be worse :awesome:

My driving instructor was lovely fortunately, I must have put him through so much but he was properly patient. Instructors who shout are just in the wrong profession to be honest, it doesn't help anything!
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thegodofgod
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Practise at night when the roads are empty (assuming you have insurance and what not), and when you're confident with that, practise in the day time when the roads are emptyish (e.g. bank holidays, Sundays).

When you're confident with that, practise on big / busy roads, at busy times (i.e. rush hour).
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Faustus Fotherby
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(Original post by dirtyoldriver)
Hahah, I have a friend who eats while driving and it's so disturbing, once he propped the wheel up with his knees on a straight stretch of road and began eating a mousse. Guess I could be worse :awesome:

My driving instructor was lovely fortunately, I must have put him through so much but he was properly patient. Instructors who shout are just in the wrong profession to be honest, it doesn't help anything!
I actually broke down in tears after one lesson, he'd literally just shouted abuse at me the whole time - such a pain in the arse.

He had a 90% pass rate though and I think it was just cos he gave people so much abuse that no one wanted to have to fail and spend more time with him - I do like that I passed first time and didn't have to do more lessons but learning definitely wasn't pleasant. In many ways though I enjoy driving a lot more now and maybe I wouldn't enjoy it so much if I'd had a nice driving instructor.

I had one friend who's driving instructor was INSANELY patient, like he failed 3 times before passing and his driving instructor would just give him a really pained look everytime he messed something up and go "let's try that again shall we"
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The Procrastinator
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Passplus or try driving at night around the places you hate? Get used to all the signs and road markings and stuff.

I passed with 7 minors the second time round and I was really nervous about driving alone but honestly the first time I drove alone was at night and I loved it!
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thegodofgod
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(Original post by dirtyoldriver)
Instructors who shout are just in the wrong profession to be honest, it doesn't help anything!
Tell that to my mum!

(she's not an instructor, but I'm just learning with her) and she shouts / tries to intervene at the smallest of mistakes, which puts me off, and thus I make further mistakes, and therefore she shouts louder and the cycle continues until I either stall the car or turn the engine off. :rant:
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