I'm not sure what to do. Watch

GirlGerms.
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#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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I have offers from Edinburgh, Birmingham and Leeds to study English Lit and Theology, as well as an offer from Queen Mary to study straight English and until now I was fairly certain I was going to firm Edinburgh, mainly because my dad was adamant that it was the best university out of the ones I have offers for. So the reason I was going to firm it was mainly due to my family being proud of me, etc.

Before that, I was sure I wanted to go to Leeds, but my dad convinced me that really, Edinburgh was the only way to go, and until now I've been fairly okay with that decision.

But now I've started thinking about it, and I have several issues with Edinburgh. Firstly is the distance. I'm terrified of feeling isolated in a strange country by myself, with no options of going home when I feel like it due to petrol prices, plane costs, train fares...

Then there's issues with accommodation, in that there's no option to have self catering and an en suite, and both are very, very important for me.

Aside from this, I don't want to let my family down. But I can't be miserable for four years.

I think, if I was choosing for myself, I'd go for Queen Mary. I feel like I'd fit in there, and it's not so far, and it's straight English which is what I've always wanted to do.

There are more reasons, but my head's kind of in a mess at the moment.

tl;dr version: My dad wants me to go to Edinburgh, I've been okay with this but now I'm not sure I want to go there, but I don't want to let him down.
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PandyAndy
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Report 7 years ago
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Don't go to Edinburgh then. Your happiness is paramount, no matter what your family thinks about where you choose to go
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Arcanine
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Firm where you want to go and tell your dad to shut his grid.
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Andrii
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Have another look at all your choices and make sure you've fully considered the pros and cons of each. Edinburgh is a great university, but at the end of the day you will have to make the choice that is right for you personally, not other people. Think about it- they are not the ones who will have to spend a few years there right?

Have you discussed your concerns with your dad? I know you don't want to let him down, but you shouldn't go ahead with such a decision just for the sake of family pride. Sit down with him and tell him what you have told us, I'm sure you'll be able to work things out together and in the end reach a decision that you feel happy with. At the end of the day he should have your best interests at heart
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tsr-member
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I can only help you with the Leeds choice, really I'm a student here so any questions you may have, ask away!
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jthlm
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go to wherever you want to go, regardless of what your dad wants for you. i'm sure he just wants the best for you, but at the end of the day it's your decision and no one else's. pick the place where you can see yourself being the happiest at for three/four years, with the best course in the best location. you don't sound like you'd be at all happy at edinburgh so honestly, don't go. if you sound unhappy at the thought of it before you've even got there, how are you going to survive three or four years there? it's your life, your future, and ultimately your decision.
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GirlGerms.
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Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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Thanks for your advice everyone I told my dad about it, we spoke over it and obviously he only wants me to go somewhere I'll be happy. Thanks again guys!
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chambray
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Make sure you do what you want and try not to be too influenced by your father. Queen Mary has a good reputation - its a good uni. Edinburgh probably is too - but for a different kind of person. Everyone is different. I went off to Uni last October to somewhere I should have found fantastic - because everyone else does !!! - and I hated it. I had to come home. It messed up my year but I am now happy I'm going to Uni closer to home in September and doing a course that I want to do rather than what I think others think I should do (if you know what I mean). Life is too short to be unhappy ! Good luck !
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