Think I'm suffering from PTSD years after the traumatic event... Watch

BigBonsaiGuy
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I was bullied throughout my time at school; the inidividual acts weren't particularly awful, but it was a constant onslaught from everyone I knew and made me thoroughly miserable, suicidal at one point. I've always been aware that it had a big effect on me.

However, I've recently start to grow concerned that it's having too much of an effect. I have night terrors that started coming on during my schooldays and wake up screaming about them, I don't sleep well through fear, there are large chunks of my schooldays that I can't remember and what I can remember is hazy at best, if anyone tries to talk about my schooldays I flip out in rage for no apparent reason, I know where my former bullies live and work so I can avoid them, sometimes when I do think about my schooldays I just start shaking and can't calm down, I have paranoia and I see 'bullies' everywhere. Most worryingly for me, I found out one of my former bullies died and didn't even feel sad about it.

I left school two years ago, in 2009, and I only started to feel like this about Christmas-time 2010. Before that, I generally avoided thinking about my time at school at all ... but now I find I think about it all the time. Is it possible for PTSD to come on that late after the 'traumatic event' and what could have triggered it? If it's not PTSD, how are my schooldays still getting to me so much?

TL;DR version: Badly bullied at school, about a year and a half after I left I started to develop symptom that ring uncannily true with PTSD - is it possible for PTSD to come on that long after the 'traumatic event' and, if not, what else could cause it?
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Zottula
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You are best seeking advice from a counselor.
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alizasauras
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That does sound like PTSD, I saw a video in school where a girl who was bullied had similar things (night tremmors etc..) Definately go to your doctors who will be able to help you.
I wish you all the best as it sounds like you have not had it easy, dont listen to any silly remarks you get.
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BigBonsaiGuy
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(Original post by Zottula)
You are best seeking advice from a counselor.
It's not exactly easy for me to talk about these things with people, I don't even like to think about them myself - just writing this post has given me hot flushes and develop a headache. Before I put myself through that, I'd like to know or at least have an idea of whether it's worth it or if this is just likely to go away.
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BigBonsaiGuy
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(Original post by alizasauras)
That does sound like PTSD, I saw a video in school where a girl who was bullied had similar things (night tremmors etc..) Definately go to your doctors who will be able to help you.
I wish you all the best as it sounds like you have not had it easy, dont listen to any silly remarks you get.
Always expected silly remarks, it is TSR after all.
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iioii
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you really need to get help, don't let it ruin your life. Even if you are scared because you find it difficult to talk about, you have to do things you are scared of sometimes, and there are people who your doctor can refer you to who are professionals and they will help you.
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BigBonsaiGuy
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(Original post by iioii)
you really need to get help, don't let it ruin your life. Even if you are scared because you find it difficult to talk about, you have to do things you are scared of sometimes, and there are people who your doctor can refer you to who are professionals and they will help you.
But are they going to refer me or are they just going to think I'm being an idiot and ignore me? Because every time I talk about it, I descend further and further into this state; if they're just going to ignore me, I'm better off trying to forget than continually bringing it up, because I don't know when I'll reach the breaking point.
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laura_802
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(Original post by BigBonsaiGuy)
It's not exactly easy for me to talk about these things with people, I don't even like to think about them myself - just writing this post has given me hot flushes and develop a headache. Before I put myself through that, I'd like to know or at least have an idea of whether it's worth it or if this is just likely to go away.
Hiya OP. I've heard of an online counselling service, where you can talk to a counsellor online and never actually have to meet anyone. It may be worth doing this if you don't want to talk about your problems outloud. x
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BigBonsaiGuy
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(Original post by laura_802)
Hiya OP. I've heard of an online counselling service, where you can talk to a counsellor online and never actually have to meet anyone. It may be worth doing this if you don't want to talk about your problems outloud. x
Writing about it's quite difficult as well so I may as well do it face to face, but thanks for the suggestion.
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BigBonsaiGuy
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Bump - any more advice?
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Zottula
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(Original post by BigBonsaiGuy)
It's not exactly easy for me to talk about these things with people, I don't even like to think about them myself - just writing this post has given me hot flushes and develop a headache. Before I put myself through that, I'd like to know or at least have an idea of whether it's worth it or if this is just likely to go away.
Well I am speaking from experience when I say that after something traumatic that it is worth speaking to a counselor. Yes, it is awkward at first, but having someone to talk to and explore these feelings with may give you the release you need. These people are trained at getting you to open up about things. It is possible that it will go away, but from what you've said, I think it would be beneficial for you to talk to a professional and definitely better than seeking advice from forums.
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iioii
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no of course they won't think you're being an idiot. Don't necessarily say you think you have ptsd, but just describe all the things it is making you feel like whenever you think about it; anxiety, anger, paranoia etc, and that its having such a large effect on your life, and they will not ignore you! You can be certain that ignoring this will not do you any good!!! Just make sure you ask for a professional, rather than just speaking to someone who doesn't know what they're dealing with. Its funny, I really need to take my own advise
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