So frustrated with my post-university life Watch

isaqyi
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#1
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I'm 22 and graduated university last year. I love my job, but my personal life is crap. I come home from work and watch Coronation Street with my mum, and on the weekend go for drives in the countryside with my parents (I don't drive). I have no friends around here, and although I love the people at work I wouldn't really socialise with them. I seem to spend all of my time off from work doing nothing.

It makes it worse because this friend I know from primary school got crap grades but has such an interesting life now and a really great boyfriend and spends all her time travelling across the UK. I'm actually crying typing this because I feel that I've got no-one.

In my job I work shifts and so it's difficult to commit to certain things outside of work because my shifts alter every week.
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Know_ThySelf
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First thing first then, try and switch to non-shift work. That way you can commit to other activities. Also, can't your friend introduce you to someone?
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Dreamseeker
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Well, you seem to be very aware of your situation. That's the most important thing. But your challenge is to not let yourself get pulled into a self-destructive cycle of depression. It is actually possible to feel happy in your situation. Perhaps "happy" is the wrong word to use, though. I'm in a similar position to you, in that I have basically no social life. I work on the weekends, and have college 3 days a week during weekdays. I'm not particularly close to anyone; not even online. Nor am I close to family. I spend all my free time just watching documentaries online, playing games, listening to music or reading. I went through a very unhappy period a few years ago, but it seems largely to have subsided. I did spend a lot of time self-reflecting, reading and listening to a bunch of audiobooks/books in the 'self-help' genre. I'm now reading about Existentialism (philosophy), which is all about embracing your aloneness in a cosmos so large and uncaring.

There's nothing I can tell you to do to solve your problems. Nor would any good counsellor. This is life, my friend. You will have to cross many lines of thought, and peice things together by your own volition. Make small changes here and there; including in the most vital place of all - your mind. Your thought processes. Change those, and you CAN be just fine as you are. Also, know that your situation will change in accordance with your inner desires. Figure out exactly what you want, and imagine yourself a little into the future. Make your thinking a little more positive, and your mind will automatically start to move you into the desired direction.

Loneliness is a part of what it means to be human. Even if you had the most amazing friends in the world, you would still feel alone from time to time. Friends are good to have, but don't rely on other people to fill that existential hole inside you. Not if you want to achieve real happiness, as opposed to the superficial denial people live with when they surround themselves with other people. Those people inevitably find themselves alone at some point, and cannot handle it.
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SemperVivum
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Save up -> driving lessons -> buy car -> greater mobility = greater freedom and a wider social circle
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ElfManiac
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What about saving up and going to visit friends from uni? Or friends from home - even just meeting for a coffee on your lunch break or something will just break up the day nicely. I know it's easy to keep up with people on facebook but there's no substitute for seeing friends in RL occasionally Also you can probably book a couple of days off work, if you do it in advance and you can go further afield. Book train tickets in advance and they won't cost so much.
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Lozza_00
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Get a car or a motorbike. What is your job?
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Lozza_00
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Start supporting a football team and going to the matches if you like football.
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Lozza_00
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Move away to somewhere you'd love to live and start life afresh.
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Planar
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(Original post by isaqyi)
I'm 22 and graduated university last year. I love my job, but my personal life is crap. I come home from work and watch Coronation Street with my mum, and on the weekend go for drives in the countryside with my parents (I don't drive). I have no friends around here, and although I love the people at work I wouldn't really socialise with them. I seem to spend all of my time off from work doing nothing.

It makes it worse because this friend I know from primary school got crap grades but has such an interesting life now and a really great boyfriend and spends all her time travelling across the UK. I'm actually crying typing this because I feel that I've got no-one.

In my job I work shifts and so it's difficult to commit to certain things outside of work because my shifts alter every week.
You need an excuse to talk to other people. A good one is learning a new language. You could even learn German with me over the summer. Also, see this thread: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1586873
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