"Not looking for a relationship right now" Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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So long story short, I liked this guy but I never told him. Then we ended up getting with each other at a party. I thought he might like me back, but I was still too shy to say anything to him, so I don't know if he thought I liked him or if it was just something that happened one time. He gave the signs that he liked me but he never pursued it despite my efforts and I was told by a friend that he "wasn't looking for a relationship".

The more I think about it, it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship but that he just didn't want a relationship with me. Surely if some completely gorgeous girl wanted to go out with him, he wouldn't say no! Was it just me that's the problem?

Or do some guys just genuinely not want to be in relationships at all?
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J_Peter
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#2
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...Could be both?
Suggest:
- The signs he gave you.

then we can talk.
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jpye11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
do some guys just genuinely not want to be in relationships at all?
Yup - more freedom
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jonski
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Loads of guys dont want relationships, doesnt matter if your fit or not
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ButterflyWishes
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#5
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Some guy said that to me a few wks ago, he asked for my number, rang me at least 5 times a day, insisted we go to the cinema together, but still said 'he wasnt looking to get into a relationship right now'. I'll never understand men.
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Magsam
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#6
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"Not looking for a relationship right now"

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This is what this statement means, whoever says it - man or woman.
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Anonymous #2
#7
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#7
i'm like this too. and i'm a girl. i'm too young to be getting tied down. if i'm not sure why get into something more serious whenever i have a good feeling it won't end well. but i still like spending time with that person and having fun.
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MikeW975
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So long story short, I liked this guy but I never told him. Then we ended up getting with each other at a party. I thought he might like me back, but I was still too shy to say anything to him, so I don't know if he thought I liked him or if it was just something that happened one time. He gave the signs that he liked me but he never pursued it despite my efforts and I was told by a friend that he "wasn't looking for a relationship".

The more I think about it, it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship but that he just didn't want a relationship with me. Surely if some completely gorgeous girl wanted to go out with him, he wouldn't say no! Was it just me that's the problem?

Or do some guys just genuinely not want to be in relationships at all?
Ok, there are loads of reasons why a guy doesn't want a relationship at the moment;

1. He is getting over a past relationship.
2. He likes to play the field.
3. He doesn't have the confidence to be in a relationship, or ask for one.
4. He has never been in a relationship before and is scared of them.
5. He is making an excuse because he doesn't like you.
6. He is making an excuse because he's still in the closet (i.e. gay).

I could go on, but I am sure you get the point by now.

My advise to you is simple. Make your play for him because it might simply be a case he doesn't have the confidence to ask you out, or that he can't read your signals. Believe me, sometimes it is hard to read whether a girl likes you or is being friendly. So perhaps there is some confusion between the two of you, where you don't know whether he likes you in that way, and he doesn't know if you like him in that way. The only way for you to find out is to ask him. If you really want him, that is what you're going to have to do. Because if you wait, and hope to God he asks you, more times than not you will be left disappointed and broken. The only way forwards is to ask him.

Believe me, you get nowhere in life by sitting back and hoping things fall on your lap. Life ain't a Hollywood chick flick. You get the girl/guy by going for it, so that's my advice to you.
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ButterflyWishes
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#9
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(Original post by Magsam)
"Not looking for a relationship right now"

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This is what this statement means, whoever says it - man or woman.

Not really, they may just not want to have the pressures of being in a relationship. I know loads of people like that. Doesnt mean they dont like the person.
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Nick Longjohnson
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(Original post by ButterflyWishes)
Not really, they may just not want to have the pressures of being in a relationship. I know loads of people like that. Doesnt mean they dont like the person.
This.

I would love being friends with some people, with occasional sex thrown in, but I do not want the burden of a relationship.
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MagicNMedicine
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Magsam)
"Not looking for a relationship right now"

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This is what this statement means, whoever says it - man or woman.
Bang on right.

If they fancy the person, and didn't want a relationship, they wouldn't be saying it, they would just treat it as an f-buddies thing until the OTHER person decided to end it. If somebody wants to end a relationship or stop one from coming into being, it means they don't want to be sexually involved with that person. Draw your own harsh conclusions.
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Jimbo1234
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So long story short, I liked this guy but I never told him. Then we ended up getting with each other at a party. I thought he might like me back, but I was still too shy to say anything to him, so I don't know if he thought I liked him or if it was just something that happened one time. He gave the signs that he liked me but he never pursued it despite my efforts and I was told by a friend that he "wasn't looking for a relationship".

The more I think about it, it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship but that he just didn't want a relationship with me. Surely if some completely gorgeous girl wanted to go out with him, he wouldn't say no! Was it just me that's the problem?

Or do some guys just genuinely not want to be in relationships at all?
Sometimes guys don't want a relationship. It maybe due to where the guy is at his stage in life or maybe he just likes freedom, but either way, it is a legit reason.
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FrostyLemon
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Magsam is completely right, it just means they aren't that into you. If someone come along who ticked all the boxes they wouldn't say to them they aren't ready.
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TheFlyingDutchman
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#14
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(Original post by ButterflyWishes)
Some guy said that to me a few wks ago, he asked for my number, rang me at least 5 times a day, insisted we go to the cinema together, but still said 'he wasnt looking to get into a relationship right now'. I'll never understand men.
Oh yeah because there are no women like this right ?

Some people genuinely don't want to be in a relationship.

I know a 35 year old who is handsome, well dressed and drives a Porsche. He's also the stereotypical funny and charismatic guy etc.

He's never had a serious relationship in his life. Never officially called anyone his gf or even come close to settling down with them. I've seen him with a woman who was perfect for him and I have no idea why he walked away from it. Some people just don't want that. So the person that said "for you" was wrong imo. Sure he may be right but it's far from certain.
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Anonymous #3
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I've said it before and it's genuinely because I'm busy with others things like exams
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Magsam)
"Not looking for a relationship right now"

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This is what this statement means, whoever says it - man or woman.
My thoughts exactly!
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DLJ
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#17
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You'll find out his real intentions, if, next week you see him with someone else... Happened to me, FML.
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make-cookies-not-war
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#18
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I'm genuinely not looking for a relationship right now.

However, if someone I really liked came along, I'd be willing to give that up for them.
That person did come along, very similar situation actually to you OP...but unfortunately, he's not looking for a relationship either, and he's not willing to give it up for me. Whether or not it is just me or him just wanting to be single for a while is something I'll probably never know (unless, like the person above me said, I see him with someone else next week...), but the fact that I feel the same way and fnd him an exception...and he doesn't find me an exception, well, it must be something to do with me, right?

Ah well, like I say, I'm happy to be alone for a while
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