nottingham vs surrey Watch

anus eater
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i had plenty of time to think about which one i should firm and which one i would insure, but i was too lazy to even attend an open day. as it stands, this is the hardest decision of my life - probably harder than trying to force diahrea out of my finger tips. i'm not really bothered about which one is more known, better for my course or any of that bull ****. here are the things i'm looking for:

1 - which city has the most weed fiends? i.e. people that will buy weed off me (i sell fat amounts, and good ****)

2 - i don't want to move too far out of london because i don't really like white (posh) people humour. i prefer chav humour, and want a good balance of chavs, wannabe gangsters and normal people. i'm guessing surrey wins on this one?

3 - which university has the most girls?

4 - which university looks better?

5 - will i get shot in nottingham? i come from london, and i've got less chance of getting shot here than being able to cut down a tree with a tub of toothpaste. only people in gangs (and homosexual men) get shot round here.

6 - which one has the best student life?

7 - i want to play football for my university team. providing that i run out of breath in less than 90 seconds, which football team do i have a better chance of getting into? apart from my ridiculously **** stamina, i'm zinedine zidane junior.

any answers are MUCH appreciated! i have 4 days to make a decision, thanks in advance

edit: proof that i'm not trolling

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anus eater
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anus eater
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member520746
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I have a feeling this thread is less than serious.
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anus eater
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(Original post by JCC-MGS)
I have a feeling this thread is less than serious.
100% serious fyi
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FallOnDeathsEars
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Only posh people say chav and fat amounts..you bitty
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veggie4life
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how did you get an offer from either of them 0.o
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street.lovin'
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(Original post by anus eater)
i had plenty of time to think about which one i should firm and which one i would insure, but i was too lazy to even attend an open day. as it stands, this is the hardest decision of my life - probably harder than trying to force diahrea out of my finger tips. i'm not really bothered about which one is more known, better for my course or any of that bull ****. here are the things i'm looking for:

1 - which city has the most weed fiends? i.e. people that will buy weed off me (i sell fat amounts, and good ****)
No idea.


2 - i don't want to move too far out of london because i don't really like white (posh) people humour. i prefer chav humour, and want a good balance of chavs, wannabe gangsters and normal people. i'm guessing surrey wins on this one?
Surrey is only 40 mins away from Waterloo station. No comment about the chav bits.


3 - which university has the most girls?
Hmmm, look on unistats? ...why though? You lesbian?

4 - which university looks better?
Visit the uni. It's deffo personal preference and subjective.

5 - will i get shot in nottingham? i come from london, and i've got more chance of getting shot here than being able to cut down a tree with a tub of toothpaste. only people in gangs (and homosexual men) get shot round here.
Surrey has the lowest crime rate. I don't know about Nottingham. Ask someone else.

6 - which one has the best student life?
I visitted Nottingham quite a few times cos my cousins are there. The ngihtlfie is good. But Surrey is nearer to London, which probs has a much better nightlife.

7 - i want to play football for my university team. providing that i run out of breath in less than 90 seconds, which football team do i have a better chance of getting into? apart from my ridiculously **** stamina, i'm zinedine zidane junior.

any answers are MUCH appreciated! i have 4 days to make a decision, thanks in advance
Your last question make me realise this thread is a joke.

I have tried too hard to answer, right?
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SchadenfreudeDude
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Try London Met.

It's da oksford of da twenty furst centuree, bruv.
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anus eater
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(Original post by FallOnDeathsEars)
Only posh people say chav and fat amounts..you bitty
do you think people on TSR would understand if i said "sweetmates" instead of chavs? rofl, cute when people try so hard for rep.
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In the looney bin
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Why the fcuk are people gonna have to pay higher tuition fees to cover the debt you'll rack up wasting your life.

And give the similies a rest.
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anus eater
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(Original post by street.lovin')
Your last question make me realise this thread is a joke.

I have tried too hard to answer, right?
thanks for attempting to answer all the questions. and no, this thread isn't a joke. do you honestly think i have time to make threads like this to not get anything out of it? i'm not a ******** in life lol
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anus eater
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(Original post by In the looney bin)
Why the fcuk are people gonna have to pay higher tuition fees to cover the debt you'll rack up wasting your life.
what are you talking about?

how mad 1-10?
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anus eater
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(Original post by veggie4life)
how did you get an offer from either of them 0.o
i whopped out my dong to the admin tutors and got a straight conditional offer from both universities
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street.lovin'
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(Original post by anus eater)
thanks for attempting to answer all the questions. and no, this thread isn't a joke. do you honestly think i have time to make threads like this to not get anything out of it? i'm not a ******** in life lol
Well, you have not put words in your thread in a constructive way to make people believe it is serious. Some question is ridiculous e.g. question about weeds. The last question abotu football, I have thought about it again, I think I could answer it. IIf you train yourself a bit more, so you become more fit and firm and I think the chance to get into either football teams will be higher.
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nunugab
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undetected troll has been spotted by Nunugab!
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anus eater
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(Original post by street.lovin')
Well, you have not put words in your thread in a constructive way to make people believe it is serious. Some question is ridiculous e.g. question about weeds. The last question abotu football, I have thought about it again, I think I could answer it. IIf you train yourself a bit more, so you become more fit and firm and I think the chance to get into either football teams will be higher.
i'm an honest person. i'm not going to lie when my life depends on this decision, this isn't a personal statement lol. surrey is close to my weed supply, i can easily top up and get smoking/selling again.

i've only ever played street football (aka fat ronaldo/messi/ronaldinho football). are non-professional 11 a side matches actually 45 minutes per half? if so, thats ****ing ridiculous. spending 90 minutes running around is about as meaningful to my life as staring into the ******** of an armadillo and watching as it changes colour.
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anus eater
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(Original post by nunugab)
undetected troll has been spotted by Nunugab!
if i post my track thingy here, will i still be labelled 'troll'? that **** is heartbreaking
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street.lovin'
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(Original post by anus eater)
i'm an honest person. i'm not going to lie when my life depends on this decision, this isn't a personal statement lol. surrey is close to my weed supply, i can easily top up and get smoking/selling again.

i've only ever played street football (aka fat ronaldo/messi/ronaldinho football). are non-professional 11 a side matches actually 45 minutes per half? if so, thats ****ing ridiculous. spending 90 minutes running around is about as meaningful to my life as staring into the ******** of an armadillo and watching as it changes colour.
Ok about the weeds. It's illegal, though.

If you cant even be bothered to spend 90 mins running around or doing some exercise then would you want to be a footballer at university? ...
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anus eater
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(Original post by street.lovin')
Ok about the weeds. It's illegal, though.
so is beating off to barnyard pornography but nobody gives a ****

(Original post by street.lovin')
If you cant even be bothered to spend 90 mins running around or doing some exercise then would you want to be a footballer at university? ...
yeah but to be honest i wouldn't mind if i get subbed off after 10 minutes or something. that's more than enough time to take a **** between the oppositions' goalposts then sprint out of the pitch
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