A confusing situation... Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
Okay, bear with me on this as it's going to take a while to explain...

I'm in my first year of uni, single, and over the last few months have found myself having very strong feelings for one of the girls I live with.
We've been very close friends since the beginning, but since the start of the 2nd term I've began to feel this way to the point where, at times, I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. There's just a couple of problems with this:

Firstly, I know she would never feel the same way about me. She's said before she thinks of me as a brother, and I've always known it would never work out. I know I should be fine with that but still I can't seem help the way I feel sometimes. I suppose it's one of those 'head vs heart' situations.

Secondly, and here's the twist, she has a girlfriend at the moment (she's bisexual). They seem very good together most of the time, and I'm actually very good friends with both of them. However they have a tendency to have a LOT of arguments, for various reasons, usually when alcohol is involved. Naturally, I end up being the one she comes to for advice and sympathy.

A couple of days ago after a few too many drinks on their parts, they had an argument and I ended up sitting there with her trying to calm her down and chatting for ages. The strange thing is, she seemed very affectionate towards me that day, and there were even a couple of points where it felt like we were about to kiss or something. I didn't do anything of course, but a part of me (the selfish part) wanted to.

A couple of hours later they made up again and things are back to normal, but I can't stop thinking about her. See, over the Easter break I was thinking I was over her now, that I could get on with things and stop worrying about this. But what happened that day has brought it all back somehow, and I can't stop thinking about her, running through events in my mind, creating 'what-if' situations in my head.

So now I'm trying to make myself shut up and get on with things, but shutting my stupid brain up is proving harder than I thought. For a while I thought the best way to get over this was to try and find someone else to be with, but noone has turned up as of yet and that just made me more miserable about being alone. Sometimes I think maybe I should talk to her about all of this, just to get it off of my chest. I've held off doing so before because I figured she had enough problems with her relationship as it is, and I don't want to make it even harder for her. I know that if I did talk to her about it, nothing would ever come of it. I'm sure she doesn't feel that way about me and never will, and I wouldn't want her and her girlfriend to break up. But sometimes I feel like it would just help to talk it through.

Okay, that's about all of it. Sorry for the MASSIVE essay. Advice would be appreciated; do I talk to her about it, and what's the best way to stop myself worrying about it?
Ah. it's helped, at least, to vent and write all this down.
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