Why do I seem non-existent to people? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
All my life, I've never really mattered to anyone. No matter how hard I try to keep friendships and be nice, I'm always left and always second best, people just don't acknowledge me. I'm not a social freak, but people just tend to leave me all the time. My family and friends are part of this, I'm always the one that doesn't matter, that shouldn't be taken into account. An example - left high school, tried my best to stay in contact with friends, made a real effort and just turned invisible. Another girl who I'm friends with made no effort and doesn't bother, but she has everyone. I don't understand. I can't stand being the invisible one, even if I died I'm sure it'll be such a small thing, I honestly don't know what I've done to be so ignored all my life. I'm constantly lonely and constantly envious, and I feel like I'm half living my life, that I'm just floating and nothing's happening.

I just feel like internally screaming. I wish I didn't exist so I wouldn't have to feel this way.
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Paint-a-Picture
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#2
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#2
Because you appear anonymous.

Okay crap joke. I'll just leave now.
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Mr Disco
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#3
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#3
Who said that?

Oh I'm just joshing. Things could get better.
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SchadenfreudeDude
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#4
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#4
OP, you need a hug.

http://www.crunchgear.com/wp-content.../l10048158.jpg

This is the 'Hug Me' pillow. Now available at your nearest store!
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Anonymous #1
#5
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#5
Please help.
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GildedButterfly
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#6
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#6
Its like i could of written that post, word for word. Feel free to PM me, i completely understand how your feeling, might be nice to share!
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scotttb
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#7
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#7
(Original post by SchadenfreudeDude)
OP, you need a hug.

http://www.crunchgear.com/wp-content.../l10048158.jpg

This is the 'Hug Me' pillow. Now available at your nearest store!
am i the only one who finds this immensely creepy?
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lukas1051
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#8
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I take it you're quite shy and introverted, the sort of person who doesn't like being the center of attention. There's your problem. People aren't going to notice you if you don't make them. There are two things you can do: get some confidence and speak to more people, or accept who you are and learn to put up with it. I've felt like you before OP, I used to be horribly shy, I wouldn't even dare go into a shop, and I felt like no-one even knew I existed. Not socially awkward, just shy. But I'm much happier now I actually make the effort to talk to people, my social horizon has expanded and I feel much more comfortable making myself known around people, speaking up in group conversations etc. There's no point in sitting here telling you everything will be alright, if you're not happy then if you don't do something to change it you'll just stay that way.
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Ocassus
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#9
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#9
(Original post by scotttb)
am i the only one who finds this immensely creepy?
No..

I find that very creepy. :lolwut:
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Anonymous #1
#10
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#10
(Original post by lukas1051)
I take it you're quite shy and introverted, the sort of person who doesn't like being the center of attention. There's your problem. People aren't going to notice you if you don't make them. There are two things you can do: get some confidence and speak to more people, or accept who you are and learn to put up with it. I've felt like you before OP, I used to be horribly shy, I wouldn't even dare go into a shop, and I felt like no-one even knew I existed. Not socially awkward, just shy. But I'm much happier now I actually make the effort to talk to people, my social horizon has expanded and I feel much more comfortable making myself known around people, speaking up in group conversations etc. There's no point in sitting here telling you everything will be alright, if you're not happy then if you don't do something to change it you'll just stay that way.
This is the thing though, I've tried so much. I have tried talking to people and getting more involved, doing more things and trying to be more confident but it just doesn't work. I'm not that shy anymore, I'm usually really chatty and I always do my best to make people feel happy. I try really hard and then people who don't even bother have everything put on a plate for them. I don't know what more to try and I can't stay like this forever
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SamHey789
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#11
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#11
Be loud, be boisterous, and be noticed, you'll get recognised more, and people will remember you, this is what i did, and i feel a lot more included
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Anonymous #2
#12
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#12
I seriously know exactly how you feel, like seriously, you're not the only one.
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Anonymous #1
#13
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#13
I can try that, and carry on more like I am. But what if nothing changes and I'm like this forever? I can barely handle it now. I'm fed up of trying this hard, it's exhausting.
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lukas1051
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#14
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(Original post by Anonymous)
This is the thing though, I've tried so much. I have tried talking to people and getting more involved, doing more things and trying to be more confident but it just doesn't work. I'm not that shy anymore, I'm usually really chatty and I always do my best to make people feel happy. I try really hard and then people who don't even bother have everything put on a plate for them. I don't know what more to try and I can't stay like this forever
Then maybe you're just trying to impress the wrong people.
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Anonymous #1
#15
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#15
(Original post by lukas1051)
Then maybe you're just trying to impress the wrong people.
But it seems like everyone I come across, there's no change. It has to be something to do with me but I don't know what it is.
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jackmyswag
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#16
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#16
I know exactly how you feel. I feel like if I didn't bother to contact my friends first, they would never bother at all. You need to get out there and meet a variety of people, until you find true friends who you really click with. If you're quite shy, sometimes you can come across as boring and most people aren't nice enough unfortunately to bother with that. It's a shame, because underneath the shyness, there is no doubt a great personality that just hasn't shined through yet.

What helped me was forcing myself to do things I'd usually be terrified of. I went to work abroad last summer and it was the best decision I've ever made. It literally transformed me. Unfortunately, I've just been unlucky with friends this year, but my confidence has changed dramatically. When I go to uni this year, I now feel I can cope with it and meet people, rather than feeling like I'll be a loner.

Don't feel like this is forever OP, because it isn't. You just have to be prepared to make the effort.
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Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#17
(Original post by jackmyswag)
I know exactly how you feel. I feel like if I didn't bother to contact my friends first, they would never bother at all. You need to get out there and meet a variety of people, until you find true friends who you really click with. If you're quite shy, sometimes you can come across as boring and most people aren't nice enough unfortunately to bother with that. It's a shame, because underneath the shyness, there is no doubt a great personality that just hasn't shined through yet.

What helped me was forcing myself to do things I'd usually be terrified of. I went to work abroad last summer and it was the best decision I've ever made. It literally transformed me. Unfortunately, I've just been unlucky with friends this year, but my confidence has changed dramatically. When I go to uni this year, I now feel I can cope with it and meet people, rather than feeling like I'll be a loner.

Don't feel like this is forever OP, because it isn't. You just have to be prepared to make the effort.
That's exactly how I feel, about the effort thing. I've been getting more involved with things so hopefully will meet new people. Thing is I wouldn't call myself boring, I know how to keep a conversation going but it seems like I can never click with anyone, or they can't click with me. It's a bit of a vicious cycle. I have something soon I'm going to do which'll terrify me, not as big as working abroad (which sounds amazing), so hopefully I can meet some people there. I truly am making an effort, it's just the effects that aren't really showing. Oh well, I suppose it'll make me more independent. Thank you for the advice, good luck
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daemongreen
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#18
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#18
Im afraid you might have to depart with the invisibility cloak now Harry..
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prospectivEEconomist
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#19
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#19
get a good degree, get a good job, earns good money, get a hot wife, and then say "**** you" to all the *****es who neglected you.
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Pixiefairy
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#20
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#20
Because you're ungreatful and don't think about the positive things in life like having great health
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