Is getting back with an ex ever right?

Just wondered :redface:

Obviously, there's many different circumstances. But ultimately, if someone felt they didn't want to be with you any more and broke your heart when they broke up with you, is it ever right to go back? Even if they realise they've made a huge mistake and they don't want to be without you?

Reply 1

paul_blakeman

Of course it can be right. It is up to you that make that call, if you are in the situation now, or if you ever happen to be in the situation. Life is full of risks, and this is obviously one of them. Of course there is the chance that you could have your heart broken again, but there is also the chance that you could be happy and in love for the rest of your life. So it is down to personal judgement :smile:

But it can be right.

Reply 2

Undulipodia

If you broke up over a misunderstanding, then sure. It's when you keep breaking up and getting back together that you need to watch out for - that's not very healthy.
In the end, no one can say if it's 'right' or not - if you want to, go for it. It might work out better this time. Don't feel pressured to get back together with them, though - if they ended it, it's their loss.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 3

xnatalie01x

I agree with the above, call it as you see it.

In some cases, no it's not right but some are worth a second chance :smile:

Reply 4

Xhotas

For me personally, I'd never get back with an ex. If we broke up, then obviously something was wrong with the relationship and it wasn't meant to be in the first place. When I did get back with my ex, I let down so many better chances and opportunities, I'd rather not do that again.

So when I did turn her down I got a smoking hot new girlfriend. Yay me :awesome:

Reply 5

ellakrystina

My boyfriend and I had a six month relationship when I was 13 and he 15 and we ended up splitting because he cheated on me. We got back together last year after not seeing each other for about four years and it was the best decision we've ever made. We've both grown up and matured since the first relationship and now we can have sex :h:

Reply 6

dothestrand

Depends on the situation. I split up with my ex about a year into our relationship for various reasons, but we ended up back together as we - perhaps naively - decided to just totally forget what had forced us apart. We lasted another couple of years, but eventually broke up for the same reasons as before.
I don't regret it though. There were some tough times, but mostly fantastic.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

No, never. Except for fame and prestige, hence the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Reply 8

Camelfan

Yeah, obviously depends on the situation.

If you broke up on good terms, still have feeling for each other and miss one another...why not?

Reply 9

such_a_lady

Original post by ellakrystina

Haha, that last bit made me giggle! :biggrin:

He's the one who took you to Paris, right?

Reply 10

fiona_x

I went back to my ex after he ended our 5 month relationship; if you know why you broke up and you think you can get past those issues, why not?

Its been almost 11 months now and we're still together :smile:

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

I think this can work.
Time often gives you perspective and allows you to realise what your priorities are.
People change over time, and sometimes that can be done healthily - when you're apart you might mature and realise what you had was special and worth keeping.
Lots of couples have broken-up, got back together, and been very happy afterwards.
There will be issues in any relationship, at least if you return to one you already understand what needs working on and what works well - it's no more risky than a new relationship with someone you barely know which might result in very different problems, but you know you have a shared history and shared feelings and emotions that make you want to be together and work together to keep things positive.

Reply 12

ellakrystina

Original post by such_a_lady

Haha, that last bit made me giggle! :biggrin:

He's the one who took you to Paris, right?

Aha! Oh wow, stalker! :biggrin:

Yes, yes he is! Only last night I was on the phone to him and he was talking about somewhere else he wished we'd visited while we were in Paris, and that 'we'll have to go back to Paris sometime to see it' :h:

Reply 13

Anonymous #3

Also, if it doesn't work out then that is a real shame but at least you will know 100% for sure and thus will have far fewer regrets. You'll have memories to enjoy, you'll have had more time together and then you'll be able to move on with a clean conscience, knowing you both gave it your all and it ultimately wasn't to be.

However, if you're already feeling doubtful and nostalgic and there's every chance it could work out wonderfully if you did get back together, then if you don't take this opportunity and try it out you'll regret it for most of your life. There was obviously something special about your relationship to make you consider this and think about getting back together. You'll always be happier knowing you tried everything (how ever it happens to turn out in the end) than not knowing whether you threw away a chance at true happiness and love because you were scared that things wouldn't work out again.

It's easier to get over a break-up then feelings of regret that you didn't trust in yourself enough to see where things might go.

If this could work out really well (and it obviously could if you look at other couples who once broke-up but got back together and had an amazing relationship) then I think you should really go for it :smile: