REALLY just need to get over him. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
i suppose i can put most of my feelings down to lust, but basically lot my virginity to someone quite recently and it happened a few times afterwards, then he gave me the cold shoulder and hasn't been in touch or replied. i understand i need to let that be.

i just can't stop thinking about what happened between us, and really wish he would get in touch. maybe can put the strong attraction down to my lack of experience?

i'm at the point where i'm thinking about him constantly, but as bad as this sounds, i feel like getting with someone else will make me feel better. thing is, when i go clubbing, i find that when i'm going out of my way to look for someone to hook up with, it just doesn't happen, whereas with him it was completely spontaneous. i just think about him constantly!

heeeeeeellllp?
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TheCurlyHairedDude
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Basically he has you on smash/you're whipped. This guy isn't doing you any good, the sooner you come to realise this the better thing will be for you, you have to let go. You can't have your virginity back again, it's sad, but true.

Good luck
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Climbontoyourseahorse
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I know it probably hurts more because he was your first, but let this be a lesson. I'm not saying that casual sex is wrong, but if you're the type to get attached - and you've proved that with this incident - then don't do it. Even if you're convinced that you won't get attached, you probably will, so going out and pulling someone else is not going to help matters.
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Anonymous #1
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I do realise he's bad for me, but how do I get over him?
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O'Donovan
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http://mybfolder.com/pics/8685-1287550881.jpg

Life's too short...

Get over it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by O'Donovan)
http://mybfolder.com/pics/8685-1287550881.jpg

Life's too short...

Get over it.
the aim of the post was to get advice about how i should get over him?
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O'Donovan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
the aim of the post was to get advice about how i should get over him?
OH DAMN I'M SORRY...

Alcohol. Definitely Alcohol.

Unless alcohol got you into that mess in the first place.

You can also try like, counting how many times you think about the person in a day... then like slapping yourself every time you do or something. Or just shouting "STOP!". But then people look at you strange.

It doesn't work of course. If you really like someone, you're going to keep liking them until you get reciprocation. Unless you find someone else. Which is possible. Or maybe if you moved country, and spent a lot of time away from them, your mind might eventually let you forget.

People say "get new interests" etc. etc. but that never works. Not in my experience anyway.
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GAguy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i suppose i can put most of my feelings down to lust, but basically lot my virginity to someone quite recently and it happened a few times afterwards, then he gave me the cold shoulder and hasn't been in touch or replied. i understand i need to let that be.

i just can't stop thinking about what happened between us, and really wish he would get in touch. maybe can put the strong attraction down to my lack of experience?

i'm at the point where i'm thinking about him constantly, but as bad as this sounds, i feel like getting with someone else will make me feel better. thing is, when i go clubbing, i find that when i'm going out of my way to look for someone to hook up with, it just doesn't happen, whereas with him it was completely spontaneous. i just think about him constantly!

heeeeeeellllp?
Put it in your head that you have these emotions towards him BECAUSE he was the first guy and because it was so easy going. But be clear that you don't want to lose your dignity to yourself hanging on to that.

You will find another guy, better guy guaranteed. Don't think he's that special, you don't have the experience to think that.
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_DaNnY_
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Confide in your closest friend, eat ice cream with them/do girly things and/or play your favourite non-depressing hype/happy music, get on the mend and feel better about yourself in general.... busying yourself is better than idlely thinking/contemplating.

People get heart broken and then think they can fix it by breaking other peoples hearts, it's a ****ed up cycle - don't fall into this evil way of thinking, it may benefit you in the short term but when you fall for someone and have problems committing, you unintentionally **** **** up... funny how "karma" works.

Once you're feeling better/stronger with yourself you will find that you won't affixiate so much on this guy. I reccomend you stay single for awhile until you feel you can move on from it so that you dnt **** up someone else/**** up yourself even more. People use other people to "rebound" but what goes up..... always comes back down.
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Geiger
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#10
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Buy a dildo.
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dungeonkeepr
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#11
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It's, sadly, just one of those things where you need to keep your mind busy with other things. Go out, do things that make you happy. Sort out things in your life. Maybe get a new hair cut or something as a symbolic break, when you feel ready, so that you can say "from now on, he's in the past". It's hard, I know it is, I had a similar experience last year. But you can do it, it will get easier.

Talk to a mate about it. They'll almost certainly be happy to keep telling you he was a jerk and not worth your time. You should remember that. It'll make you feel terrible about yourself for a bit, but you can get over him that way and then sort yourself out.

But, please, don't go finding someone else to pull to feel better. Been there, done that, doesn't help. It just makes you think about the next person, unless you manage to pull enough times that you become desensitized, which would be sad.
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squarebobspongepants
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#12
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Something very similar happened to me recently. The guy I slept with went really distant afterwards, and turned out although he enjoys my company, and the night we spent together he had 'a great time' he's not into me enough to actually have a relationship with me. I think he would be up for some kind of friend with benefits arrangement but I don't think I'm really cut out for that, I get too attached to people.
It does really really hurt but the only thing you can really do is give it time, what I found helped most is just talking it over with friends a bit and then try and forget about, go out and keep busy doing other things. And like other people have said, probably best not to rush into something else straightaway.
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