Why do I hurt during sex? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
Anon cos I know people on here, but basically, im a girl and when I have sex with my boyfriend it really hurts. It never used to hurt, and it sometimes doesnt, but most of the time it can only go in about an inch, and then we have to stop cos it hurts me he is my first partner, and I'm the only person he has had sex with and vice versa. We have also tried using lube, but after a while, it gets really irritating, and it stings! Its getting really frustrating now, and we both want to know what it could be. Any ideas of what it could be? I'm on the pill as well, could it be that?
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RightSaidJames
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#2
Report 7 years ago
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Bumped as this took a while to be approved. Thanks for your patience.
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Kabloomybuzz
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#3
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Best advice I can give is go to the doctor and both get checked out...

what sort of pain?? Where abouts? same in different positions?
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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(Original post by Kabloomybuzz)
Best advice I can give is go to the doctor and both get checked out...

what sort of pain?? Where abouts? same in different positions?
But there can be nothing wrong cos we both lost our virgnity to eachother? and its not all the time, but say everyother time? It doesnt hurt him, it just hurts inside me.
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Kabloomybuzz
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#5
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I'm not neccesarily talking about an STI, but it could be another sort of infection... like thrush... or something else. Docs is still your best bet. Nobody here has the medical exprience to tell you whats wrong.
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MrsRainey
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Ah this is something that I know a lot about weirdly :P my best friend went through the exact same thing.

Basically there are a lot of reasons this could be happening, most of them are actually mental. Has there been any change at all that might have made you feel differently about sex? Maybe you're not having sex as often or not masturbating? Did you start going on the pill just as this started happening? Because the pill can affect libido and while you might WANT to have sex, you can't get as wet as you used to (pardon the bluntness, I don't think there's any reason to sugarcoat it :P) What often helps is getting a dildo. Use if on your own or with your partner, and see how that feels. Often it feels fine with a dildo, but not with an actual penis. Try using the dildo, or maybe just a few fingers, for about 5 to 10 minutes before attempting sex. This can "loosen you up" a bit.

Meanwhile try to address what it is that's stopping you having great sex again. A lot of the time when it starts happening it plagues your mind so much that it just gets worse. Try saying to yourself in your head: this will work, it's different now. Try to remember what it was like when you first started doing it when it didn't hurt.

Also, this might sound obvious and condescending, but do not have sex just for the sake of having sex, even when you aren't in the mood. If you're not in the mood for sex but he is, just tell him he'll have to wait. If you try and force yourself to get horny then of course it'll hurt because you're not really in the mood and you haven't really got the hormones flowing. Try more foreplay, maybe even 30-60 minutes of teasing to get you as horny as you can be. This will help immensely.

I hope this helps if all else fails, do see a doctor, because very rarely it can be a certain condition that's stopping you, although I doubt that's the case because you do sometimes have good sex as you say, and it's not always been around. Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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(Original post by MrsRainey)
Ah this is something that I know a lot about weirdly :P my best friend went through the exact same thing.

Basically there are a lot of reasons this could be happening, most of them are actually mental. Has there been any change at all that might have made you feel differently about sex? Maybe you're not having sex as often or not masturbating? Did you start going on the pill just as this started happening? Because the pill can affect libido and while you might WANT to have sex, you can't get as wet as you used to (pardon the bluntness, I don't think there's any reason to sugarcoat it :P) What often helps is getting a dildo. Use if on your own or with your partner, and see how that feels. Often it feels fine with a dildo, but not with an actual penis. Try using the dildo, or maybe just a few fingers, for about 5 to 10 minutes before attempting sex. This can "loosen you up" a bit.

Meanwhile try to address what it is that's stopping you having great sex again. A lot of the time when it starts happening it plagues your mind so much that it just gets worse. Try saying to yourself in your head: this will work, it's different now. Try to remember what it was like when you first started doing it when it didn't hurt.

Also, this might sound obvious and condescending, but do not have sex just for the sake of having sex, even when you aren't in the mood. If you're not in the mood for sex but he is, just tell him he'll have to wait. If you try and force yourself to get horny then of course it'll hurt because you're not really in the mood and you haven't really got the hormones flowing. Try more foreplay, maybe even 30-60 minutes of teasing to get you as horny as you can be. This will help immensely.

I hope this helps if all else fails, do see a doctor, because very rarely it can be a certain condition that's stopping you, although I doubt that's the case because you do sometimes have good sex as you say, and it's not always been around. Good luck!
Thank you soooo much! You have made me feel so much better! x
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