Confusing situation with girl I am "seeing" Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
I have been seeing a girl for just over a month now once a week. I used to know her from about 5 years ago but we lost contact due to uni and other obstacles.
We decided to meet up quite spontaneously one night about 5 weeks ago. We met up and ended up crying together and holding each other under the stars.
Since then we have met up once a week and continued to just cuddle with each other in that way. She is very shy with depression and is still very shy with me, and that is why she prefers to do simple things like that until she opens up more. I offered to take her to the cinema instead but she said shed prefer to just cuddle with me.
Now, she has depression. She has had depression for about ten years. She is 23. When she was 9 she saw her best friend hit by a car who was then permanently paralysed and developed epilepsy. The same time her dad left her. She developed anorexia at around age 15 (but has got over that now).
She has told me that she is terrified of me rejecting her, she is terrified of losing me in some way. She has told me that I am the love of her life and even said things like "I can't wait to spend life with you".

She is studying medicine and is very very busy and stressed a lot, and on a high dosage of anti depressants.

Now, she has never been a texter, emailer etc. I will text her about 3-4 times a day usually just giving her a bit of a boost, letting her know Im thinking of her, but she will barely ever reply! She hates talking on the phone as well. When she does reply (about once a day) it will be totally off topic and often the only time I hear from her is around midnight. She will text something like "thinking of you...msn? xxx" and then we will chat on MSN for an hour together. She says she just doesnt like texting and she is usually too busy to text. But it takes 30 seconds surely?

I am very confused at the moment. Over the weekend she had a very rough time. She saw her doctor and burst out crying and yesterday told me she had a very rough day. We went on MSN to talk last night and she said "heyaaa....xxxx" and then would not reply for about an hour. That was about 1am, and I figured she had fallen asleep. This morning (bank holiday monday) I texted her telling her I hope she has a great day etc...and then phoned her and left a message on her answerphone to let her know the same thing.

I then started to really worry because I have not got a reply. (Not that I ever do!). I have asked her if I send her too many texts etc, and she said that I dont and each text she recieves from me brightens her day a bit. In the past I have stopped texting as much in fear taht I may be being a nuisance, and when I did she got upset and thought I was trying to distance myself from her.

I have point blank asked her what she wants. She says she feels something so special with me, a connection that goes beyond everythign else, and she is just very scared because she is terrified of me rejecting her the more she opens. She said she just wants time to slowly open up with me without me 'going anywhere'.

Now, taking into account her deprssion, her past...her obvious fear of losing people in her life (due to the fact she lost her best friend at an early age) etc...what do you think is going on?

I know that she likes me and wants me. She is a very honest person when we talk about our feelings. She is very blunt and to the point...more so than anyone else I've ever known. I once asked her "what would your dream be, no matter how crazy" and she responded "it might sound cheesy but, I want to fly away with you somewhere, just us, and have all the rest of the people I leave behind stay happy."

So taking into account her past, her issues, her depression etc, what do you think is up? What should I do to control this anxiety that I feel? It's quite intense!
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littlepotatoe
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#2
Report 7 years ago
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This girl is troubles. But you seem to geniunely like her. In my opinion you should believe her : she likes you, feels you're special, but due to her past she cant rush into things.
The only advice would be.... Be patient. And keep doing what you do.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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(Original post by littlepotatoe)
This girl is troubles. But you seem to geniunely like her. In my opinion you should believe her : she likes you, feels you're special, but due to her past she cant rush into things.
The only advice would be.... Be patient. And keep doing what you do.
Thankyou for that. I feel that what I am doing must not be coming across to pushy. If I 'back down' a bit with the thought i might be coming across as needy, she usually gets upset. And doesnt even tell me usually!

I do genuinely like her, and to be honest, I'd do a lot just to see her smile. So your advice is to just be patient with her, take time...go with the flow and be there for her continuing doing what I am doing?
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