my mother is the nastiest person I know Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
I was wondering if there's anything I can do to change her or if I should just keep my distance?

I'm at university, every time, without fail, that I stay at her house (she invites me constantly) she will insult me.

I'm not talking just oh your hair looks a bit untidy I'm talking "wtf is wrong with your hair, your hair looks like a tramp's, you look disgusting, you look like a freak. wtf are you wearing, why haven't you lost more weight, what's that you haven't finished that essay due in 5 months time? what's wrong with you why are you even bothering with university if you can't get the work done".

We went into a shop last time I saw her a few weeks ago and the door person didn't say anything to me but asked her something about the store, so my mum catches up to me and says "you see that? you look like a freak that's why he didn't say anything to you" .

She's always done this, I was constantly attacked by her when I lived with her, everything about me and everything I did would get belittled and put-down.

I can't understand this constant nastiness. I never insult her, if she asks for my opinion on her new clothes I'll be nice, I would never go out of my way to so blatantly insult someone for absolutely no reason. I don't think it's that she doesn't realise it hurts either because I've told her to stop, I haven't shouted and lost my temper, I've told her that it hurts and can she please stop in a mature adult way. I just don't understand what I've done to warrant this constant nastiness.

Is there anything I can do to change her or should I just accept it and keep my distance?
reply
pappu
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#2
Report 7 years ago
#2
Keep your distance
0
reply
PendulumBoB
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#3
Report 7 years ago
#3
She's the nastiest person I know too:perv:
10
reply
Teao the Cat
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#4
Report 7 years ago
#4
Happens to many, many people...
0
reply
Abassk
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#5
Report 7 years ago
#5
call crime watch
0
reply
xnatalie01x
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#6
Report 7 years ago
#6
If it were me, I'd cut all ties with her.

She must know it hurts you and I wouldn't want someone that negative in my life.
0
reply
hxecute
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#7
Report 7 years ago
#7
Dayum, she nasty! :sexface:
1
reply
StephenP91
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#8
Report 7 years ago
#8
Sad thing about life, people never change.
1
reply
H.JJJ
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#9
Report 7 years ago
#9
3 options:-

1) Tell random strangers on the internets about your problem and feelings
2) Going directly to the source of the problem and telling it your problems and feelings
3) As step 2, but with a **** load more aggression and dominance

You chose option 1. Do you see why that was a bad choice?
1
reply
louholl
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#10
Report 7 years ago
#10
as the saying goes you can choose your friends.........

Keep your distance
0
reply
Wigglebury
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#11
Report 7 years ago
#11
(Original post by PendulumBoB)
She's the nastiest person I know too:perv:
:teehee:
0
reply
Stressworthy
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#12
Report 7 years ago
#12
Some mums have a strange way of dealing with things. It sounds horrible, what she's doing... I hate to defend her almost, but I do think in a strange way she's doing it because she does care and wants the best for you i.e. for your hair to look nice or whatever. There's just a much nicer way of doing it and there's no need for her to be so nasty. Of course, that's me being positive - it could well just be she generally is the sort of person who likes picking on people, which obviously isn't very nice at all either. In both cases, I'd just keep your distance if I were you - you can't change her unless she wants to change herself, and luckily you are an adult so can keep your distance.
1
reply
senator88
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#13
Report 7 years ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
I was wondering if there's anything I can do to change her or if I should just keep my distance?

I'm at university, every time, without fail, that I stay at her house (she invites me constantly) she will insult me.

I'm not talking just oh your hair looks a bit untidy I'm talking "wtf is wrong with your hair, your hair looks like a tramp's, you look disgusting, you look like a freak. wtf are you wearing, why haven't you lost more weight, what's that you haven't finished that essay due in 5 months time? what's wrong with you why are you even bothering with university if you can't get the work done".

We went into a shop last time I saw her a few weeks ago and the door person didn't say anything to me but asked her something about the store, so my mum catches up to me and says "you see that? you look like a freak that's why he didn't say anything to you" .

She's always done this, I was constantly attacked by her when I lived with her, everything about me and everything I did would get belittled and put-down.

I can't understand this constant nastiness. I never insult her, if she asks for my opinion on her new clothes I'll be nice, I would never go out of my way to so blatantly insult someone for absolutely no reason. I don't think it's that she doesn't realise it hurts either because I've told her to stop, I haven't shouted and lost my temper, I've told her that it hurts and can she please stop in a mature adult way. I just don't understand what I've done to warrant this constant nastiness.

Is there anything I can do to change her or should I just accept it and keep my distance?
Oh my god, my mother is EXACTLY the same, I still live with her and am moving out in September (hopefully). It is so hurtful and incredibly frustrating, especially as she can't see there is anything wrong with doing these things to me. Thing is she is not like this to anyone else. Like you, I've done every option I can think of of getting her to stop and nothing has worked . Sorry I don't actually have any real advice..just that I understand that hopefully one day in the future she will stop!
1
reply
JaiiStarh
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#14
Report 7 years ago
#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
I was wondering if there's anything I can do to change her or if I should just keep my distance?

I'm at university, every time, without fail, that I stay at her house (she invites me constantly) she will insult me.

I'm not talking just oh your hair looks a bit untidy I'm talking "wtf is wrong with your hair, your hair looks like a tramp's, you look disgusting, you look like a freak. wtf are you wearing, why haven't you lost more weight, what's that you haven't finished that essay due in 5 months time? what's wrong with you why are you even bothering with university if you can't get the work done".

We went into a shop last time I saw her a few weeks ago and the door person didn't say anything to me but asked her something about the store, so my mum catches up to me and says "you see that? you look like a freak that's why he didn't say anything to you" .

She's always done this, I was constantly attacked by her when I lived with her, everything about me and everything I did would get belittled and put-down.

I can't understand this constant nastiness. I never insult her, if she asks for my opinion on her new clothes I'll be nice, I would never go out of my way to so blatantly insult someone for absolutely no reason. I don't think it's that she doesn't realise it hurts either because I've told her to stop, I haven't shouted and lost my temper, I've told her that it hurts and can she please stop in a mature adult way. I just don't understand what I've done to warrant this constant nastiness.

Is there anything I can do to change her or should I just accept it and keep my distance?
This does not sound like the average mother/daughter relationship:confused:. We all have problems with our parents but that seems abit much. There must be deeper issues......Counselling maybe?
0
reply
bakamo
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#15
Report 7 years ago
#15
Keep your distance there's no point of trying to change her my mum is the exact same the only difference is when i confront my mum about her insults she lies to my face and denies it!
I speak to my friends about it and they usually help me feel better about myself!
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#16
(Original post by H.JJJ)
3 options:-

1) Tell random strangers on the internets about your problem and feelings
2) Going directly to the source of the problem and telling it your problems and feelings
3) As step 2, but with a **** load more aggression and dominance

You chose option 1. Do you see why that was a bad choice?
No, if you read my post I chose option 2 before option 1. I don't want to be aggressive towards her because I don't think aggression should really be involved in family relations.


(Original post by senator88)
Oh my god, my mother is EXACTLY the same, I still live with her and am moving out in September (hopefully). It is so hurtful and incredibly frustrating, especially as she can't see there is anything wrong with doing these things to me. Thing is she is not like this to anyone else. Like you, I've done every option I can think of of getting her to stop and nothing has worked . Sorry I don't actually have any real advice..just that I understand that hopefully one day in the future she will stop!
I'm sorry to hear your mum is the same. Thing is mine is actually also pretty nasty to other people. She's single atm and whenever she goes on dates with men she will be so incredibly nasty about them afterwards, I feel sorry for the guys who are perfectly nice to her then she doesn't return their calls and *****es so much about them instead to me. It's not quite the same as she does to me as she's nasty to my face rather than behind my back.
reply
senator88
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#17
Report 7 years ago
#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
No, if you read my post I chose option 2 before option 1. I don't want to be aggressive towards her because I don't think aggression should really be involved in family relations.




I'm sorry to hear your mum is the same. Thing is mine is actually also pretty nasty to other people. She's single atm and whenever she goes on dates with men she will be so incredibly nasty about them afterwards, I feel sorry for the guys who are perfectly nice to her then she doesn't return their calls and *****es so much about them instead to me. It's not quite the same as she does to me as she's nasty to my face rather than behind my back.
Unfortunately it just sounds like the person she is then I guess all you can do is accept that she is very bitter like this, and that there is actually nothing wrong with you. Just try and remind yourself this every time she says something mean..
0
reply
BeritV
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#18
Report 7 years ago
#18
I thought it would be about domestic violence and I was going to tell you to contact the authorities.

Stop moaning when your problems are actually not all that bad.
2
reply
Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#19
(Original post by BeritV)
I thought it would be about domestic violence and I was going to tell you to contact the authorities.

Stop moaning when your problems are actually not all that bad.
I wouldn't regard violence as "nasty" really. She did used to hit me a lot if it makes you feel better, only now I'm a hell of a lot bigger than her so I don't think she'd dare.

I know clearly her nasty comments are not as bad as the kid who gets beaten up by his parents everyday, I never said they were, I asked for advice on how to deal with her. I did not make a thread saying boo hoo my problems are so much worse than anyone else's. I don't know anyone who deliberately goes out of their way in order to hurt people on a daily basis, so yes she is the nastiest person I know. I guess no one should make a thread in h&r asking for advice because there are people with worse problems. :rolleyes: FYI I have depression and social anxiety, her constant putdowns make it even harder for me to feel ok with social situations and myself, I know she's making me feel a lot worse and I want advice on dealing with her so I can feel better. Sorry to have so harshly offended you.
reply
silverbolt
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#20
Report 7 years ago
#20
Turn round and say you open your mouth to speak to me like that again you ***** and il prematurealy make you ready for dentures.

Seriously OP stand up for yourself and dont take that crap
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you registered to vote?

Yes! (307)
37.44%
No - but I will (63)
7.68%
No - I don't want to (61)
7.44%
No - I can't vote (<18, not in UK, etc) (389)
47.44%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise