Girlfriend on anti-depressants Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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Please keep anon or delete, just in case she comes on here! Thanks.

Basically I recently got together with a girl I've liked for ages... She had just come out of a 2 year relationship (and actually still lives with her ex, nothing like a complicated start!) and so obviously I was aware stuff wasn't going to be straight forward, but we've liked eachother for a while and so just decided to go for it. I did actually know she was on anti-depressants before we got together, and didn't really think it'd be a problem. However, we've been together unofficially about 3 weeks now (although I've known her for over 2 years) and stuff's starting to confuse me, and I'm really worried about her.

She's got a lot of crap going on in her life atm, and so has been prescribed the ads but she's meant to be sitting final exams and is saying that they're just making her feel numb and she doesn't care about anything/just can't feel. She seems to be being really temperamental with me, letting me get closer emotionally, and then will just do a 180 and close off completely.

I feel really powerless because I don't know how I can help her, she hasn't been revising because she says she can't focus on it and just doesn't care; and this is so outta character for her compared to what she was like about work before she was on the medication.

Is there anyone on here who has known someone on ads/or is on them who could give me a bit of an insight? I've told her to apply for mitigating circumstances and to go back to the doctors to discuss what she's feeling, but she's so apathetic that I don't know if she's going to do either. I just don't know how to deal with the mood changes or if there's any way I can help her..

Thanks for reading, sorry it's a bit of an essay!
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glastygal
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I'm in sixth form, taking my finals this year but was on anti depressants last year. Everything you've described your girlfriend is feeling is exactly what I went through. It is just physically impossible to revise the same way, I didn't care and I'm sure you understand it's not your fault that she's depressed. Tell your girlfriend you've been researching about getting 'special credit.' I got it for my AS exams. You basically get a written letter off your doctor who explains that you're not right at the moment and that the medication will effect her ability to revise and perform well in the exams. Genuinely, the examiners do take the special consideration into account and I did alright in my exams despite not doing anywhere near enough revision and not giving the best quality answers. When we got my script back (I got an A in a Psychology module) my teacher said it was actually at a C grade, but the examiner had just been very understanding. That's the best way to help, and she'll appreciate your support in finding out this information. You need to do it now so that the school can receive it and send it off to the exam board. Offer to take her to the doctors. If you need any more information about if the way your girlfriend is acting is normal for someone who's depressed/on anti depressants, just private message me.
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Anonymous #2
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i'm on antidepressants for anxiety, and i feel numb sometimes. i have exams starting tomorrow and i have done no study, i dont kno why but i dont even feel worried. I didnt revise cos i felt like i didnt care.
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helen.allan123
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Try not to take the mood swings personally. I've had depression this last year and sometimes you just don't wanna talk to anyone or get close etc - i've literally just switched my phone off on people sometimes. Work wise like the post said above mitigating circumstances is the way forward. What I did with my exams and postponed them till the end of summer so I could get my head together. Either that or a doctors note to excuse lower standard of work due to the depression. I don't know if you can help her per se with the mood changes or lack of interest in revising as in my experience if my mood is bad enough I won't listen to anything or anybody. She has to help herself unfortunately is the way it goes, however you can support by just being encouraging and letting her know you're there if she needs a shoulder to cry on etc. would also strongly suggest she go speak to someone to try tackle it with CBT or whatever. Hope this helps in some way.
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porn induced coma
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Being on ads is difficult. Its not something anyone wants. All you can do is be patient and supportive. My bf is a saint, he bears with me when I burst into tears for no reason or tear into him for no reason. But I suppose we have been together for 18 months. He knows this isnt who I am. Just be patient.
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superwolf
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It sounds like your girlfriend's mood changes could be caused by the antidepressants, that can happen sometimes, but equally it could be that her depression's getting worse or that she's getting tired of putting up a front about how she's really feeling. Or it could even be a good thing in a way - she might be trusting you more and so letting you in more on how she's really feeling.

I'd talk to her about it - obviously do it tactfully, maybe even write her a letter that she can take her time reading rather than say something she might misconstrue. The best way of finding out what's going on and what you can do to help her is just to ask her about it.
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Matt5757
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My girlfriend is currently on them too, and yes it is very hard at times. The thing is you really have to try and not take things personally if she snaps at you or wants to be on her own. And it can get very frustrating and feels like there is nothing to do to help her, but just staying with her and supporting her can make a huge difference to her, and thats all you can really do. Make sure she's getting help, but you can't be her counsellor, neither of you would want that, just show her love, and remember she will get through this. If you need anymore advice feel free to ask.
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NO2AV
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Please keep anon or delete, just in case she comes on here! Thanks.

Basically I recently got together with a girl I've liked for ages... She had just come out of a 2 year relationship (and actually still lives with her ex, nothing like a complicated start!) and so obviously I was aware stuff wasn't going to be straight forward, but we've liked eachother for a while and so just decided to go for it. I did actually know she was on anti-depressants before we got together, and didn't really think it'd be a problem. However, we've been together unofficially about 3 weeks now (although I've known her for over 2 years) and stuff's starting to confuse me, and I'm really worried about her.

She's got a lot of crap going on in her life atm, and so has been prescribed the ads but she's meant to be sitting final exams and is saying that they're just making her feel numb and she doesn't care about anything/just can't feel. She seems to be being really temperamental with me, letting me get closer emotionally, and then will just do a 180 and close off completely.

I feel really powerless because I don't know how I can help her, she hasn't been revising because she says she can't focus on it and just doesn't care; and this is so outta character for her compared to what she was like about work before she was on the medication.

Is there anyone on here who has known someone on ads/or is on them who could give me a bit of an insight? I've told her to apply for mitigating circumstances and to go back to the doctors to discuss what she's feeling, but she's so apathetic that I don't know if she's going to do either. I just don't know how to deal with the mood changes or if there's any way I can help her..

Thanks for reading, sorry it's a bit of an essay!
i am 4 days into citalopram, but it's not for depression, sounds to me like she's using it as an excuse. i'm currently enjoying a placebo effect in which my anxiety seems to have subsided. although back to uni soon, will know for sure then. hope this was helpful.
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you for your brilliant replies, I feel reassured by the things you've said; I will just take it as it comes. She knows I'm here for her, I just hate seeing her like this!
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Carnivores
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Speak to her,then speak to TSR.
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Matt5757
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for your brilliant replies, I feel reassured by the things you've said; I will just take it as it comes. She knows I'm here for her, I just hate seeing her like this!
Its really hard, and you might not feel like you get much thanks or praise, but trust me deep down she will be very grateful for you being there and you'll be helping her a lot, so don't get disheartened.
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QueenAli
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I take ads and have similar feelings of apathy and numbness, but I try to focus on the fact that deep down I will regret it if I don't complete my coursework or revise. When on ads you really have to dig deep to get things you previously found difficult done. My uni have been very supportive and given me extenuating circumstances after letter from doctor. I have had to adapt my working style completely since I started taking the tablets. I now have to work by a rewards system, or a panic mode system, when my brain finally comes to its senses and adrenaline kicks in. Ads are a real adjustment, but having a good support network makes things easier.
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Lewk
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During my first year of uni, despite having an awful start and big anxiety problems I still attended every lecture, as I always had a very good attendance history (100% attendance through all of A level)... Then I went on antidepressants in the second semester and gradually stopped turning up to lectures until I was only turning up to 1 lecture per week in the 2nd half of the semester and failed every unit, and ended up failing the year... It is very unlike me and the only reason I can find is the fact I was on antidepressants... Needless to say I have steered well clear of antidepressants since, and never want to go back on them.
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Elle89
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Anti Depressants do kind of cover up your emotions, but it may also be the fact that she is recently out of a long relationship and may be scared letting you fully in was her break up with her ex bad?
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