Asked her out - no direct answer - good or bad? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
Quick scenario

Met a girl a week ago while I was out with friends, she took my number then I said we should go out. Texting for a couple of days but it was starting to fizzle out and I was starting to lose hope. She added me on Facebook. Have only spoke to her once on it but it was for about 4-5 hours. Now since that chat (mainly just talking rubbish and flirting) we've been texting a lot more frequently (and obviously theres more to talk about so its no longer fizzling out)

Now during the FB chat I had asked about when I can get to take her out, and she didnt really give a reply. So I just made it clear that I am not going to make a fuss if she wasn't keen - so there is no pressure for her to say yes. She hit me with "It's not that I don't want to but I'm just studying for the exams right now" I thought that sounded like a polite let down.

A while later I asked about doing something else - less formal like a drive or something [cant exactly remember] - and then it was another vague answer. So I just made clear that I can't see this isn't getting anywhere so I'll stop asking (but i'm still keen on just talking to her anyway - not for anything else) As soon as I dropped that bomb she said I should stop being silly and just any other time then she would but not right in amongst the exam period.

I've gave plenty of opportunity to be clear if she wasnt interested and that I'd be fine with it, but she brushed that off. So would it be fair to assume she must be interested to a certain extent?
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rbnphlp
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Quick scenario

Met a girl a week ago while I was out with friends, she took my number then I said we should go out. Texting for a couple of days but it was starting to fizzle out and I was starting to lose hope. She added me on Facebook. Have only spoke to her once on it but it was for about 4-5 hours. Now since that chat (mainly just talking rubbish and flirting) we've been texting a lot more frequently (and obviously theres more to talk about so its no longer fizzling out)

Now during the FB chat I had asked about when I can get to take her out, and she didnt really give a reply. So I just made it clear that I am not going to make a fuss if she wasn't keen - so there is no pressure for her to say yes. She hit me with "It's not that I don't want to but I'm just studying for the exams right now" I thought that sounded like a polite let down.

A while later I asked about doing something else - less formal like a drive or something [cant exactly remember] - and then it was another vague answer. So I just made clear that I can't see this isn't getting anywhere so I'll stop asking (but i'm still keen on just talking to her anyway - not for anything else) As soon as I dropped that bomb she said I should stop being silly and just any other time then she would but not right in amongst the exam period.

I've gave plenty of opportunity to be clear if she wasnt interested and that I'd be fine with it, but she brushed that off. So would it be fair to assume she must be interested to a certain extent?
dude , are you retarded ? If she has exams , then leave her to be .Ask her out after the exams ?
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member592149
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Stop hassling her fool.
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Pink Bullets
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She hit me with "It's not that I don't want to but I'm just studying for the exams right now" I thought that sounded like a polite let down.

A while later I asked about doing something else - less formal like a drive or something [cant exactly remember] - and then it was another vague answer. So I just made clear that I can't see this isn't getting anywhere so I'll stop asking
Why did you think her exam studying plans would have suddenly changed in the space of a few hours? :lolwut:
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Sabriella
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Suggest going out to celebrate at the end of exams and see how she responds - if she still brushes you off, that will probably give you a clearer idea of the situation.
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wactm
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This month sucks. Everyone seems to have exams, thank god I do a BTEC. This week alone 3 mates and 2 dates have bailed on me.
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linkdapink
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Some people don't go out during exams and lock themselves away. I used to be in the library til midnight most nights. It's just exam period and she's not brushing you off!
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ColdInWinter
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One of two things.
One- she actually does just want to stay focused on exams and will consider/want to go out when they are done.

Or two- an i believe it to be this over the first an she is letting you down gently.
I have had this responce in the past an i accepted it, stayed optomistic (she ended going out with someone else anyway lol) That was more of a kick in the teeth than just being rejected.

People don't stop having lives when exams are due, if she really was interested she would give it a go, even if you didn't see each other that much during exams.

So your options are either stay optomistic an wait, try an persuade her to give it a go now, or move on.
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umbrellahead
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#9
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To be fair, if she has exams she may not be brushing you off, she may just want to do well. In that case, distractions like this aren't the best thing and she'll probably just want her own space for a while - not start something new with someone as it could be quite time-consuming.

On the other hand, wait until after exams and ask her then. If she says no the she's probably not interesting - I wouldn't turn down someone I liked if they asked me out.
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HJV
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A drive? If someone doesn't want to go out with you to a coffee, they're sure as hell not going to be wanting to "go for a drive".
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ForKicks
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How about you make this thread AFTER she has finished exams
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Young Spade
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#12
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Maybe she's just not ready to hang out? MAybe she just doesn't want to hang out right nowbecause of exams? What you should do is stop pestering her about it before she says no and give her some time and space. Yes you guys are talking and yes things are hitting off, however that doesn't mean she feels exaclty the same as you.
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Anonymous #1
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I knew I wouldn't manage to get the point across very well here - I genuinely wasn't pestering her, it does sound so through my brief explanation. The "go for a drive" was relative to what we were talking about at the time, it wasn't a random sleazy move. That was the last I tried asking her out, I do not want to be that guy thats a pain in the arse.

What the real dilemma was here for me is she just parrying it off out of niceness or does she sound like she may be interested after the exams? I know if someone made it easy for me to say no and if I wasn't interested I'd definitely make it clear in the nicest way possible. 'Leading someone on' is much worse than being clear with them.
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Young Spade
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^Ah, I completely understand what you're saying. I think the best thing you could do in this situation would be to actually just wait until exams over and give her a day or two to relax. Then call her up or text or whatever when you think she's free and ask her to hang out.

The time right after exams is great for relaxing and fending off boredom.
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OrmondDrone
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(Original post by Young Spade)
just wait until exams over and give her a day or two to relax. Then call her up or text or whatever when you think she's free and ask her to hang out. The time right after exams is great for relaxing and fending off boredom.
I'd agree with this.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Young Spade)
^Ah, I completely understand what you're saying. I think the best thing you could do in this situation would be to actually just wait until exams over and give her a day or two to relax. Then call her up or text or whatever when you think she's free and ask her to hang out.

The time right after exams is great for relaxing and fending off boredom.
Yeah I'll just sit it out for the time being then. If she still doesn't give a clear yes or no next time though i'll think i'll just have to ditch it, and assume it's just friendly chat. Which I don't mind, but I'd rather know sooner than later
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DiZZeeKiD
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People don't stop having lives during exams. Sure, some might hit it hard but....if she wanted to see you, she would.
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Young Spade
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(Original post by DiZZeeKiD)
People don't stop having lives during exams. Sure, some might hit it hard but....if she wanted to see you, she would.
Unless she was really serious about her studies and wanted to spend as much time as she could in the books. I know last week and the week before i did nothing but go to the local coffee shop and study for my finals. My chem 2 and bio 2 finals were cumulative and covered about 20 chapters in total. People asked me to hang out multiple times but I ended up not doing anything and spent that time studying.
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Climbontoyourseahorse
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I think that if she didn't want to see you she'd come up with an excuse that wouldn't make you come back later, which the 'I'm busy at the moment with exams' would be. Send her a few texts through the exam period to keep it going and then when she's finished, ask her out again.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse)
I think that if she didn't want to see you she'd come up with an excuse that wouldn't make you come back later, which the 'I'm busy at the moment with exams' would be. Send her a few texts through the exam period to keep it going and then when she's finished, ask her out again.
Yeah well we're constantly texting and I'd agree that she would've made a non-return excuse if she wasnt even remotely interested. Exams are done in just over a week so I'll hang in there and see what happens!
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