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Is having child the ultimate consummate of a relationship?

I often think I don't fancy women for childreaering, in fact on practical experience I could quite concievably spend my life with someone who couldn't have them, was too late, didn't want them or had someone elses. Just If I loved that person, I wouldn't go and find some women who was, however appealing, second to that just to have a kid. So anyway, just wondered what your views are on childbirth and rearing. Does it strengthen the love between two people, is it the ultimate consummation?

Nah, getting a dog.

Some people think having children and getting married is the be all and end all of life and if they don't they'll just curl up and die alone.

I'd rather be out with friends and spending my hard earned cash on myself rather than some screaming sh*tting brat.

No.

To clarify how I feel a little better, I think it's way overly romanticised and whilst I'm sure it's rewarding in its own way, it's not all sunshine and rainbows and shouldn't be portrayed as such.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 5

catjaum

No getting married without a pre-nup is

Reply 6

Chillaxer

Original post by Cicerao

Hell no.

If you need any more proof about how overly and unrealistically romanticised this **** has become, listen to the twee blabbings of a "mommy" about how it's the best thing ever. Then look at warring, divorced couple with a screaming baby being passed between them. People need to realise this is not all sunshine and rainbows.

Didn't say it was perfect, but the poster above exemplifies a modern attitude--giving anything back to anyone is pointless and miserable when you could be gratifying your own desires, and I don't even mean desires to do anything deep, leave a legacy etc, just desires to, for example 'party'. It's quite odd.

Reply 7

Dogatonic

Definitely not. Ask those silly teenage girls who thought that getting pregnant would keep their boyfriends attached to them forever.

Reply 8

Cicerao

Original post by Chillaxer

It's not inherently selfish to not want children, you know. Personally I'd rather give all my love and attention to my husband.

No, it's divorce.

It's weird how some people say a woman without kids is 'barren' or something, but I've known women who never had them til real late(She has had one now) but even when she didn't she never seemed barren or a failure at all, in fact she was confident and sexy.
How do you ladies feel?

Reply 11

xoxAngel_Kxox

I think it's the biggest TEST a relationship can have.. but don't think it's the be all and end all.

Reply 12

cooper21

I think people often believe they are better persons because they have children or that theyd deserve a reward for it , and the ones who say not to want children is selfish are often selfish themselves and need to prove to themselves they arent by having a child for..selfish reasons

Reply 13

xnatalie01x

Marriage and children are not all they're cracked up to be.

I don't understand why people can't just be happy in a relationship without feeling like they need more.

Reply 14

Sprockette

I know some people seem to think it is, that when you get married you automatically have to have a kid no more than 2 years later (aka my mother :rolleyes:

) but nah, I wouldn't want kids. I'm getting married at some stage but I don't want to have kids. A mortgage and puppy will be the ultimate step for me!

Reply 15

Chillaxer

Original post by Cicerao

It's not inherently selfish to not want children, you know. Personally I'd rather give all my love and attention to my husband.

I'd like to date that sort of woman, it's romantic. I don't exactly subscribe to the 'living vicariously through your kids' way, and trying to use them as the saviour of a life gone wrong or even using them as tokens for their achievements. Or indeed doing it because people think you are inadequate if you don't. But I can't say that if I loved someone, I wouldn't at least be concerned about missing the time without having done it once at least.

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