Couple going to Uni... couple of Qs.. Watch

Sheen
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#41
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#41
I wouldnt go to the same uni as my boyfriend unless they actaully did a course i wanted to do (which they dont so i couldnt anyway) so make sure your going to your chosen uni for the right reasons and not just because yur g/f wants to go there.

1.i dont see how it would be hard if you went to the same uni or a uni near eachother. I'm still in college and my boyfriends at uni and we still make time to talk to eachother and see eachother every week and stuff.
hes alot closer now than he was before so its alot easier now.

2.yeah you can stay over...some uni may ask you to sign in the person who is staying over but most people dont bother. i stayve stayed over with my boyfriend loads of times...i think the longest i stayed over was like a week, no one cares.

3.yes of course they would mind you making noise. have some respect for others and keep the noise down. its not only you living there remember.
how would you like to hear your room mates having sex all the time? no you wouldnt like it would you. this reminds me of s time i stayed over at uni with my boyfriend and someone who lived there was making alot of noise you could blantanly tell when what going on and everyone got annoyed and i couldnt sleep. it was so annoying i just thought do they not have any respect for others.
if id lived there i would of gone and said something to them as soon as i heard them making noise
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clairey87
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#42
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HI! Me and my boyfriend of 2 years are both at Kingston....I reccomend the uni, it's brill. Yes it's been tough at times but we're so glad we both came here. At Kingston, you can have someone over for 2 nights, 6 times a term. So that's 12 times if you both come here. Plus the halls manager said that as long as you don't cause trouble, you can have someone to stay as often as you like. We stay round each others every weekend - and see each other every day after lectures - and it's working out brilliantly now. P.S. Which courses are you looking at? PM me if you like
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Jenna999
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#43
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about the noise thing - i hear my house mate all the time. she is so loud and it really gets on my nerves. it makes me feel really uncomfortable now every time her boyfriend is round. she must know i can hear, i havent told her, but she is being so ridiculously loud i think she's making the noises on purpose... yes love, i know you're having sex, i know you enjoy it, keep it down though ok.?!
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Sheen
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#44
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(Original post by Jenna999)
about the noise thing - i hear my house mate all the time. she is so loud and it really gets on my nerves. it makes me feel really uncomfortable now every time her boyfriend is round. she must know i can hear, i havent told her, but she is being so ridiculously loud i think she's making the noises on purpose... yes love, i know you're having sex, i know you enjoy it, keep it down though ok.?!
if i was you id go mentioned something to her.
maybe if you said something she'd keep the noise down.
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Little Girl Red
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#45
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I'm at Bristol uni with my boyfriend - I'm so so pleased that we came together. We're both at a good uni and on different courses so there's no need to worry too much that we've ruined our lives or come to a uni just because the other person is going there - because its a good uni and if we split up we probably wouldn't see each other that much anyway!
But I can't see us splitting up tbh and our relationship has become even more close since we've been here. We've seen eachother in a difference context and realised that we love each other in EVERY way.
We are in the same halls so the whole sleeping over thing isn't too much of a hassle. Uusally in halls you have to let reception know if there is going to be a guest because of insurance/fire regulations. But you can have guests and loads of people do it all the time.
Regarding noisy neighbours - keep the noise down, visit her when her neighbours are out, etc! Do it on the floor (on a duvet) to reduce bed spring noise. Seriously, people get mighty pissed off by being kept awake by squeaking mattresses and orgasmic cries.
Anyway, I'm going to be controversial and advise against the majority of people. If you love her, if you think that you'll stay together, go to the same uni, despite what people think it WONT ruin the experience. For me, it has made it a million times better. I'm more confident meeting new people, I didn't get lonely, I had more fun due to more confidence, I have made at least twice as many new friends, I have experienced more things simply because I came here as a couple. Also I know from experience that if we were away from each other for like 3 months I would be miserable and not enjoy my time here, simply looking forward to the next weekend when we could be together.
So go for it!!
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clairey87
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#46
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#46
The first 3 months will be tough seeing as you're both meeting and probably living with new people and you'll both be incredibly stressed what with living in a new place etc (Kingston is lovely though!). But, if you really want to be together then it'll work out. If my boyfriend and I broke up, we'd never have to see each other as we live in different halls and study on different campuses. How long have you been together?
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Helenia
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#47
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(Original post by Little Girl Red)
We are in the same halls so the whole sleeping over thing isn't too much of a hassle. Uusally in halls you have to let reception know if there is going to be a guest because of insurance/fire regulations. But you can have guests and loads of people do it all the time.
Regarding noisy neighbours - keep the noise down, visit her when her neighbours are out, etc! Do it on the floor (on a duvet) to reduce bed spring noise. Seriously, people get mighty pissed off by being kept awake by squeaking mattresses and orgasmic cries.
And there was me thinking you weren't going to sleep with him again until you were married :rolleyes:

Despite Little Girl Red's advice, I'd still disagree; a lot of people don't know at 18 if they "really love" the person they're with, much though they believe they do. A few are lucky, most aren't. I wouldn't gamble on it.
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ChemistBoy
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#48
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(Original post by tom_pinnock54)
3) do the dorm/flat-mates mind you making *coughsomenoisecough*
If it is a shared room then I think they would mind. Walls in university accommodation tend to be thin (and made of straw if my uni was anything to go by), so even if you are in a single room, be considerate.
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twinkledust
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#49
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Don't go to a uni just for your gf if you get into somewhere better. You are so young. What are you going to do if you split up? You'll resent that person for the rest of your life, cause you made a massive life decision around them and now its fallen to pieces. People change at uni. It's a fact of life. You get older and you move on. My boyfriend is at another uni and even though i don't see him all the time, its going perfect. But a lot of people have spilt up since they have been at uni. If you are this serious about your gf then surely being apart would be a good test of your relationship. You are so young, it might not work. But if it is strong enough then you will last through uni. In all honesty, i couldn't contemplate going to uni with my bf, uni is about independence. I'd love to see him everyday, but us working while we are apart, just shows how strong our relationship is.
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fruitcake
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#50
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All this advice is so sensible and good. I'm really worried about uni... I was in a long distance relationship for the first 12 months of our relationship, and we're still together though it was really hard only seeing each other every 2 months or so. Now i'm in england i get to see him nearly every weekend. we probably wont go to the same uni but i'm really scared of breaking up, i dont know whether i could cope with the distance thing again. and like so many ppl have said, people grow up etc etc. I just wish i knew...
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Lady_Muck
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#51
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Am I the only one that - if woken up at 2am by people having sex next door - would get up, very pissed off, go around, knock on their door and tell them to shut the hell up, because although they're having a fabulous %$^*) I wanted some bloody sleep!

And I would have absolutely no qualms in saying that, I object severely to being woken up, especially when you can do it quietly :rolleyes:
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Paeony
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#52
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Just a note - I'm at Roehampton and at my college they are VERY strict about how long you have people to stay over. Our contract says seven nights in a month is ok - I know people who have partners etc staying for longer than that but if you start to take the p**s then you will get found out. I know of a couple of people who were told that they risked loosing their room in halls because they had moved a bf/gf in. As for how they find out, well, we have CCTV on all of the flat entrances, and security get to know who should be here and who shouldn't. Also, don't make the mistake of both using the same postal address ...
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wednesburywench
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#53
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please dont go to the uni just cus your girlfriend is going there, go to where you want to be! wheres best for you. Yes it is hard at first but you will adjust to this, i was with my boyfriend over 3 years before we came to uni, were now an hour n half away and things are still great. We speak every day, see each other once a month, which isnt much atall but your so busy with uni it flys by. The relationship is still very much as it was before, but without the physical touchy side which obviously i miss, but the emotional side is more important, and thats all great. I also believe if its going to work, and you love each other enough you will make it work, but people do change at uni, dont expect things to be the same as they have been, whether u go to the same uni or not things WILL change, you have to learn to cope with that. Good luck, please dont do the wrong thing and apply to the same uni if you dont really wana go there....you will regret it!

--------------

oh and as for noise, dont make too much cus it will annoy the other people if its often lol
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Misogynist
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#54
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One of the things which is the most fun at uni is meeting new people *coughgirlscough*

That'd take that pleasure away from you.
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wednesburywench
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#55
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not nessisarily....i dont find having loads of random guys fun...id much rather have fun with my boyfriend and im sure this guy would too with his girlfriend...going and bein slutty/manly wateevr u wana call it isnt for everyone
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Little Girl Red
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#56
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(Original post by Helena)
And there was me thinking you weren't going to sleep with him again until you were married
We haven't....I was just talking hypothetically. Loads of people get pissed off by people being "noisy" next to them. One of my mates couldn't get any sleep last night but she was too embarrased and shy to go and tell them to shut up.
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Sheen
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#57
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(Original post by Little Girl Red)
We haven't....I was just talking hypothetically. Loads of people get pissed off by people being "noisy" next to them. One of my mates couldn't get any sleep last night but she was too embarrased and shy to go and tell them to shut up.
that happened once when i stayed over at uni with my boyfriend if i actaully lived there i would of gone and told them to shut up to but since i dont live there i figure im not aloud to say anything
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xXMessedUpXx
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#58
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(Original post by tom_pinnock54)
Me and my gf are looking to go to the same uni or ones in the same area... like Kingston and Roehampton... this may be the wrong place for this question... but i'll plonk it here anyway, no doubt someone will move it if it's necessary!
1) when couples go to uni do they stay together? Is it hard?

2) can you stay over (in their room - uni accomodation) if it's not your building/or even uni!?

3) do the dorm/flat-mates mind you making *coughsomenoisecough*

thanks guys/gals.
T

1) If you'd asked me this last week, i'd have said no. Purely cos i'd been with my boyfriend a year when i came to uni (he was already here) and we were together about 3 months or so and 3 weeks ago he finished things. However unexpectedly we did get back this weeks so maybe it can work

2) Yes that shouldn't be too much of a problem,tho some uni's have restrictions but most are ok with 1/2 nights

3) I've never had complaints There again they may just be too embarrassed to emntion it. If you are considerate, hopefully they won't know when you're doing that..

hope that helps
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SpiderBoy
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#59
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(Original post by Sheen)
i think the longest i stayed over was like a week, no one cares.
Not quite true all the time, just because no one says anything does not mean no one cares. It all depends, but you should respect the fact that in uni halls especially not everyone gets along amazingly and therefore it often doesn't come out when things are annoying people. What you should remember is that your bf/gfs neighbour are all paying to live there and they shouldn't have to put up with you pretty much living there for free if you stay for long periods - thats one the reasons behind the visit limits that some unis have and tbh i think its pretty fair.
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