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I think my flatmate has an ED watch

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    hmm mayb drop a few leaflets of recovery groups, centres, recovery sessions, there are evn online forums to talk about that stuff, mayb suggest it to her, but try to talk to her, knowing she's not alonde might help her.
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    hmm mayb drop a few leaflets of recovery groups, centres, recovery sessions, there are evn online forums to talk about that stuff, mayb suggest it to her, but try to talk to her, knowing she's not alonde might help her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think if I did ban her from being sick she either wouldn't listen or would just go somewhere else.

    I really don't think I'm the best person for her to talk to, as I don't know her that well and I have my own problems at the moment.
    Is anyone in your flat really close to her? talking to her may make her feel really uncomfortable if youre not that close. situations like this are really difficult, and thats really the only thing i can think to suggest right now.
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    (Original post by L.J)
    She could ask her not to be sick in the house, it's the same as asking an alcoholic mate who is sick from alcohol to stop it (or use their bin or something). If it was harder for her to be sick, she'd stop a bit - I know this from experience.

    I think she should speak to her though. If anyone had known about me, then I would have been so ashamed I would have probably stopped a lot quicker! You can be sensitive AND firm at the same time.

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    That's exactly what I mean. She'd be happy you were banning her from being sick (well I would have been really relieved that I wasn't allowed to be sick, it would take the pressure off needing to...I guess you have to have been there to understand).
    Personally if someone I'd only met 8 weeks ago that barely knew me, asked me to stop puking in the house then I probably would have laughed in their face, eating disorder or not. If you knew her really well and/or were her mother or relative then I think its slightly different...........but when you don't know someone, and aren't even totally sure she even HAS an eating disorder then banning from ill is a tad over zealous
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    [QUOTE=L.J]Could you not leave a note in the bathroom saying "whoever's being sick here please stop as it's not nice for me having to use the toilet after". That's perfectly reasonable. When my sister drank too much and tried to be sick in my sink in my uni room I went mental. Vomit is gross, and asking people not to be sick in your toilet is not being mean. [QUOTE]

    Thats assuming that she leaves the toilet in a disgusting manner. If she leaves to toilet clean and sick free then wahts the issue here? if she's in halls and paying and its a communal toilet then you can't stop her being sick in it.
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    Only possibility I can think of is to talk to some others in your flat and see if any of them know if anything's going on and if they'd talk to her? Tough one - I'd feel very uncomfortable approaching somebody I didn't know too well about this kind of thing.

    (Original post by L.J)
    Edit: why did you choose to share a house with her if you don't know her that well? Didn't you know her in first year?
    I am a first year, so it was who I got shoved with
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    (Original post by L.J)
    Seriously, would you use a toilet just after someone's vomitted in it?
    surely thats the same as using the toilet after someone else has just used it to relieve themselves in the normal natural manner. If the toilet is clean and puke free I really can't see the problem.....

    At the end of the day, the OP cannot be totally sure that this person even has an eating disorder although she is suspicious which is not the same........you can't jump in head first into asking someone you've barely known and hardly spoken in the last 8/10 weeks whether they have an eating disorder....................

    the best option here is to either speak to someone she knows and explain the situation and what the original poster thinks.............or ask her but in a round about way - like someone else suggested, just say you heard her being ill one day, is she feeling better etc etc
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    (Original post by L.J)
    Have a word with her.

    It's bad for her, and not only that, but you need to use that toilet and that's disgusting. Plus you get to hear it. Banning her from being sick in the house would help her stop.
    If she's that determined on being sick then she might vomit in bags etc and throw them out later - it depends how ingrained the behaviours are really I suppose. Like LJ said, have a word with her - dont expect her to open up right away though, be gentle Hope she's okay, and you are too - its never nice when you think a friend may be suffering from something like this.
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    [QUOTE=JackieS][QUOTE=L.J]Could you not leave a note in the bathroom saying "whoever's being sick here please stop as it's not nice for me having to use the toilet after". That's perfectly reasonable. When my sister drank too much and tried to be sick in my sink in my uni room I went mental. Vomit is gross, and asking people not to be sick in your toilet is not being mean.

    Thats assuming that she leaves the toilet in a disgusting manner. If she leaves to toilet clean and sick free then wahts the issue here? if she's in halls and paying and its a communal toilet then you can't stop her being sick in it.
    The issue is that she's making life unpleasant for the person in the room next to the bathroom. Sensitivity cuts both ways.
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    (Original post by L.J)
    Have a word with her.

    It's bad for her, and not only that, but you need to use that toilet and that's disgusting. Plus you get to hear it. Banning her from being sick in the house would help her stop.
    That is a 'tough love' approach recommended by some therapists for parents wth children who suffer from EDs. A bulimic might hesitate at the point of bingeing if she is not confident of being able to purge. This approach has obvious disadvantages though.
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    Personally I'd wait until everyone is out stick some ED helpline stuff under her door then go out yourself so she doesn't know its you.

    Then see whether she tells anyone if shes up in arms about it then she prob doesn't have a problem if she says nothing then and carries on at least then you know that the only way shes going to get help is by you speaking to her directly.
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    (Original post by BellaCat)
    That is a 'tough love' approach recommended by some therapists for parents wth children who suffer from EDs. A bulimic might hesitate at the point of bingeing if she is not confident of being able to purge. This approach has obvious disadvantages though.
    Except the OP isn't her parent so therefore has no real right to start banning her from doing something in a house that she also pays to be in. Plus as I've said before she barely even knows the girl in question and any extreme attempts at something like that are probably going to push that person away from talking to her rather than encouraging her to open out if indeed she does have an eating disorder.......................
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    (Original post by L.J)
    If she can't be sick in her own house it'll stop her from being sick during the evening.

    Of course she can ban her from being sick - she has to use that toilet and it's really disgusting. It is her business as she gets to listen to it every night, and has to use that toilet.

    Maybe put a few ED leaflets under her door?
    It's her house as well so you have no right to ban her from being sick! And leaflets yes that'll do a grand job... of pushing her away that is! :rolleyes:

    To the OP, you could say that you've heard her being sick a couple of nights and that you're concerned about her, maybe ask if she's ill or something? This would let her know that you're aware of her being sick, and bring her to the point where she feels uncomfortable about purging and may not do it in the first place. This is probably the wrong sort of advice to give, but she'll need people around her for support and the best you can do is to be there.
 
 
 
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