The Student Room Group

Breaking up with someone

I was unhappy in my relationship of 1 year and decided it was time to call it a day with my boyfriend. We just didn't want the same things.

This was a bolt out of the blue for him and he was so hurt when i told him.

He was my best friend and there was so much good stuff in our relationship - i just know i need to go to uni and work out what i want for myself without him.

Has anyone else had to dump someone they care very much about?

I feel so sad that i've hurt him.

Any support/ advice? - I'm so tempted to pick up the phone and just call him :frown:
Reply 1
Been there done that, except everytime I break up with my b/f (Lukeharmz btw) I always go back, the only advice I can give you is to just be strong and think very carefully about whether it's really what you want and how happy you will be without him....

Hope I helped :smile:
Reply 2
i dump some one before it was really hard :frown: but we stay freinds and but he will all way be your freind and be there for you
be well good luck
from emma :smile: :rolleyes: :redface:
Reply 3
claireharmz
Been there done that, except everytime I break up with my b/f (Lukeharmz btw) I always go back,


Why? If your going to go back to him then why waste the time breaking up with him?
Reply 4
he wants to stay friends actually...

I'm not sure i can do this - it would be so awkward if i meet someone else.
But i don't want to cut him out of my life!! :frown: :frown:

The hurt look in his eyes has been killing me - i feel so bad.
Reply 5
It can be really tough.. but it wouldn't be fair on either of you to have carried on so you've done the right thing.

I think to be friends afterwards would be hard for you guys if he's still hurt from the break-up. This is a personal opinion and it might be different for others, but being friends with my ex was a nightmare.. I finished it so I was ok and didn't want to lose him completely so we agreed.. but he was always waiting and expecting me to change my mind.. if we had enough fun together, laughed enough, spent enough time together etc we'd get back together.. and that's not what I wanted.. so it was pretty rough sometimes
Reply 6
Its always guna be hard, but i think its more hurtful to stay with them to keep them happy, especially if you're not and you're endangering your education.
Reply 7
I'm in a similar situation. I've been with my boyfriend for around a year now and I'm not really sure if I fancy him anymore. I still care about him so much, but think my feelings may now be platonic. I'd really hate to lose his friendship if we were to break up.

I know he still likes me very much and so breaking up would really hurt him (not that that is a good enough reason to stay with him). He recently suggested we have a short break from each other because he knew I didn’t seem happy for some reason, and my unhappiness was making me less affectionate towards him, which understandably upset him. He’s hoping that after our ‘break’ I will be more interested in him again.

Now I'm not sure what to do...If I break up with him it would be horrible for both of us, and I do still really care about him so not sure if these feelings I have are temporary….you see I’ve been feeling rather depressed the last few weeks/months, and have had a general lack of interest in more affectionate/sexual things with him, but I’m not sure if this is due to the contraceptive pill I was taking (which I have recently changed from), or if It’s because I’m not longer interested in him in that way. Argh, it's such a difficult situation. I don’t want to rush into anything, but can't keep him waiting forever.
Reply 8
go out with some other guys, thatll make you feel better.

if you arent gonna get back with him, tell him there's no chance in the world and that'll mean he can get on with his life faster. if you call him you'll only be ****ing round with him more... I dunno, say you're sorry, and hopefully he'll figure out a good way to deal with it (ie. going out and meeting a load of girls)

its either you get back with him or don't, you cant mess round in the middle. And now that you've dumped him, and thats all done, I'd suggest you stay that way, cos you must have done it for a reason even if you want to pick up the phone and talk to him.
Reply 9
Omg I jus had a similar situation about 1 month ago...breaking up with someone who cares about you is the hardest thing....on one hand you don't want to hurt them, and on the other hand you want to be true to urself. I was just honest....it was hard because he's the first guy i'd eva been with. so in that sense i'll never forget him....but some things aren't meant to be.

woah...that was deeeep
Didn't you talk about it at first, surely you could have suggested a few changes rather than dropping the poor guy who cared so much about you.
Yeah, i still loved him and everything, but i knew that he just needed time and more experience before he could give me back what i felt for him. it was one of the worst times of my life and took me so long to get over him, infact i dont think i ever did, and do wonder whether i ever will...