I'm scared of myself

I'm becoming increasingly concerned about my behaviour. I feel alone and am not in a relationship; which i'd like to be. But i think i display certain tendencies which worry me. Firstly i find i can be at times very short-tempered but i just keep it inside and i'm afraid one day it'll just explode on some fairly poor innocent person and land me in a lot of trouble. But what does bother me is i seem to get attached to people very easily (perhaps to the point of obsessing) and then end up getting hurt very quickly.

I'll just give some examples. I liked a girl last year and we spoke a few times, but then i'd find out go out randomly just hoping to "bump" into her. She didn't feel the same way and it got me down a lot that i went to counselling and i'd think about her every day. I didn't think i'd be able to be here now last year without seeing her but i'm managing ok so far. Anyway, i met another girl - i spoke to her a few minutes in a lecture and thought she was nice. So i then tried to conveniently sit with her in future lectures and get to know her better. Once i knew her name i went to go check her full name through some research. She wasn't interested in anything more and it hurt a few days - but i got over that.

I'm just finding i get attached too easily and end up getting really hurt and just scared of what i'll do one day. I don't know what i can do? :frown:

Reply 1

JonnyB

2

Mate. Chill.

Take a step back and get your priorities straight. Try and be yourself, no point in all this research etc etc.. there are tons of girls out there, you probably need to just spend time with mates and enjoy friendships - relationships grow out of things like that.

We all have times where we want to snap - I find violent tendencies in myself. Everyone does when they take that little bit too much ****. But it's livable through. I usually got all weird about girls when I had my own issues to deal with. Identify them, work them out and everything will settle itself.

:smile:

Reply 2

IzzTheGreat

10

Oh dear, I know exactly how you feel. I've had some pretty crap things happen to me in the past, and I latch on to anyone who I feel secure around, problem is they usually just want to be friends. I don't have any helpful advice except to try not to seem too into people or you'll scare them off!
Hope things start going better :smile:

Reply 3

I think it borders on stalkerish though :frown:

Some people just make me so mad that i sometimes have very violent thoughts but never act on them. I'm just worried one day i may act on them.

Reply 4

I think it borders on stalkerish though :frown:

Some people just make me so mad that i sometimes have very violent thoughts but never act on them. I'm just worried one day i may act on them.

(sorry for the double post, i can't delete it now)

Reply 5

Michelin Man

2

relax things always fall into place eventually. No need to get so down on urself. Enjoy the good things and maybe something will happen. Be social and maybe u will find someone

Reply 6

Nysh

1

Anonymous

I'm becoming increasingly concerned about my behaviour. I feel alone and am not in a relationship; which i'd like to be. But i think i display certain tendencies which worry me. Firstly i find i can be at times very short-tempered but i just keep it inside and i'm afraid one day it'll just explode on some fairly poor innocent person and land me in a lot of trouble. But what does bother me is i seem to get attached to people very easily (perhaps to the point of obsessing) and then end up getting hurt very quickly.

I'll just give some examples. I liked a girl last year and we spoke a few times, but then i'd find out go out randomly just hoping to "bump" into her. She didn't feel the same way and it got me down a lot that i went to counselling and i'd think about her every day. I didn't think i'd be able to be here now last year without seeing her but i'm managing ok so far. Anyway, i met another girl - i spoke to her a few minutes in a lecture and thought she was nice. So i then tried to conveniently sit with her in future lectures and get to know her better. Once i knew her name i went to go check her full name through some research. She wasn't interested in anything more and it hurt a few days - but i got over that.

I'm just finding i get attached too easily and end up getting really hurt and just scared of what i'll do one day. I don't know what i can do? :frown:

I assume that you've never been in a relationship before? I suggest that you really just step back and have a look at yourself. I think at the moment you just really want to be loved, and nothing seems to be working.

One thing you could start doing is talking to girls who you wouldn't normally. Or you could find something else that you find interesting- like a hobby or a sport or something.

But don't worry too much, just be careful, and try to go with an outlook that prevent anger- try and expect that no-one actually wants to like you. It's depressing, but it stops the pain/anger afterwards.

Reply 7

Anonymous

I'm becoming increasingly concerned about my behaviour. I feel alone and am not in a relationship; which i'd like to be. But i think i display certain tendencies which worry me. Firstly i find i can be at times very short-tempered but i just keep it inside and i'm afraid one day it'll just explode on some fairly poor innocent person and land me in a lot of trouble. But what does bother me is i seem to get attached to people very easily (perhaps to the point of obsessing) and then end up getting hurt very quickly.

I'll just give some examples. I liked a girl last year and we spoke a few times, but then i'd find out go out randomly just hoping to "bump" into her. She didn't feel the same way and it got me down a lot that i went to counselling and i'd think about her every day. I didn't think i'd be able to be here now last year without seeing her but i'm managing ok so far. Anyway, i met another girl - i spoke to her a few minutes in a lecture and thought she was nice. So i then tried to conveniently sit with her in future lectures and get to know her better. Once i knew her name i went to go check her full name through some research. She wasn't interested in anything more and it hurt a few days - but i got over that.

I'm just finding i get attached too easily and end up getting really hurt and just scared of what i'll do one day. I don't know what i can do? :frown:

you are exactly like me :eek:

I find myself getting attached to people who show me a little bit of care. Next time just think before you do things, you said it yourself that its abit stalkerish and its wrong, so dont do it. Its probably much harder to do it then say it.

Reply 8

The Mudman

10

You sound very much like me as well. Except you go a little bit further and do 'research'. Apart from that it's cock on what I'm like. Hoping to accidentaly bump into someone isn't a terrible thing in my opinion, because what's a world without hope? Having had a few heartaches though, it's just too much pain. It comes from having no-one, to suddenly someone likes you, one way or another, and it's such a good feeling. 'Finally, someone likes me!' Only they like you as a friend. Eventually you'll find someone. As has been said before, be yourself, and try not to get so attached so quickly. It's really hard, but it's ultimately worth it. For example, I liked a girl, started talking to her, texting, then for no reason she told me she didn't want to talk to me again '**** off you pathetic loser! Get a life!' I hadn't been especially friendly or nasty. Hadn't been obsessing with her, texting constantly or anything like that. Turns out her friends and her thought it would be really funny to play a joke, and pretend she hated me, when she actually fancied me :s But because I had expected her to do something like that, because she came across as being a bit immature, it didn't hurt nearly as much as anything in the past.

Play it cool. If you fancy someone, yeah go for it, but don't be too forward. Be confident, but not arrogant. Just chat to them and get to know them better before you start getting attached to them.

The violence thing comes from bottling things up, and not having any outlet. I get worried I might take things too far sometimes, and I have actually lashed out (not seriously), but that was when I was under a lot of stress, and I directed the anger at someone who was bullying me, so it's more appropriate. Although I don't condone violence in any way, shape or form, and for that I'm ashamed of myself...

All I'm saying is you're not alone. There are other people out there who feel like you do. I'd love to be in a relationship, but I'm not gunna go out with anyone for the sake of it. It gets me down sometimes, and sometimes it feels like 'Mr. X can get a girl and he's a complete *expletive* What the hell's wrong with me?'

The truth is, there's nothing wrong with me. Or you. Or anyone. We just need to find the right people. Some people just click, others don't. Some people will fancy you, others won't. It's just the way of the world... Just remember, you're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with you. You're just you. And that's the only person you should ever be...

Reply 9

JonnyB

2

L.J

Mine googled me before we were going out;

What the hell does that mean?

Reply 10

Jingo

5

It means she/he put their name into google and had a look through what came up. Like for me i get a text file from CM 00/01 for the credit of finding Samuel Eto'o as a future good player :biggrin:

Chris

Reply 11

loser88

12

The violent thoughts thing poss a type of OCD- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? if you google it has some good stuff and a quiz you can do to see if it's likely you have it- then you can get help! good luck

Reply 12

Poica

14

loser88

The violent thoughts thing poss a type of OCD- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? if you google it has some good stuff and a quiz you can do to see if it's likely you have it- then you can get help! good luck

A quiz...on google...to tell you about your mental health....right.

You're not weird or strange or stalkerish or anything else. You simply worry too much. Don't. Everyone gets attached to people and then feels crushed when they're not interested in talking from time to time. Don't analyse it too deeply. :smile:

Reply 13

yes and worrying too much is part of an OCD.....it's not a stupid quiz thing it's just a list of questions that if you answer yes too then it's LIKELY you do have one...then you cna get help- it's not a big deal but it's ebst to get help for as it cna get REALLY bad- for a clue as to a type of OCD Cameron on Hollyoaks is doing a good job of showing how hard it is- he has the cleaning type...hand washing etc. don't feel bad though- it's not your fault.

Reply 14

Poica

14

Anonymous

yes and worrying too much is part of an OCD.....it's not a stupid quiz thing it's just a list of questions that if you answer yes too then it's LIKELY you do have one...then you cna get help- it's not a big deal but it's ebst to get help for as it cna get REALLY bad- for a clue as to a type of OCD Cameron on Hollyoaks is doing a good job of showing how hard it is- he has the cleaning type...hand washing etc. don't feel bad though- it's not your fault.

Or worrying a lot could be just within a normal personality. And Hollyoaks. Well if that isn't an authority on mental illness I don't know what is.

Reply 15

AngelofnoColour

14

If you think you have OCD, try the following scales. If they rate you as high OCD then take these results to your doc.

http://psychcentral.com/ocdquiz.htm
http://www.brainphysics.com/ybocs.php

Reply 16

xXMessedUpXx

15

Poica

Or worrying a lot could be just within a normal personality. And Hollyoaks. Well if that isn't an authority on mental illness I don't know what is.

don't get me started on hollyoask and mental health, that storyline with lisa and self harm wasn't done wonderfully..

Reply 17

loser88

12

Thank you BlueAngel- that's the sort of thing i'm on about! DEAR LORD i'm sure annonymous wasn't using Hollyoaks as an authority i was just saying if you don't know what OCD is that's a good way of 'introducing yourself' to it and what one type looks like it's extremely hard to deal with and you feel like a TOTAL freak but you're NOT if you DO have it so dont worry..

Reply 18

AngelofnoColour

14

loser88

Thank you BlueAngel- that's the sort of thing i'm on about! DEAR LORD i'm sure annonymous wasn't using Hollyoaks as an authority i was just saying if you don't know what OCD is that's a good way of 'introducing yourself' to it and what one type looks like it's extremely hard to deal with and you feel like a TOTAL freak but you're NOT if you DO have it so dont worry..

I dont think he has OCD hun.

Reply 19

The Crow

1

Anonymous

I'm becoming increasingly concerned about my behaviour. I feel alone and am not in a relationship; which i'd like to be. But i think i display certain tendencies which worry me. Firstly i find i can be at times very short-tempered but i just keep it inside and i'm afraid one day it'll just explode on some fairly poor innocent person and land me in a lot of trouble. But what does bother me is i seem to get attached to people very easily (perhaps to the point of obsessing) and then end up getting hurt very quickly.

I'll just give some examples. I liked a girl last year and we spoke a few times, but then i'd find out go out randomly just hoping to "bump" into her. She didn't feel the same way and it got me down a lot that i went to counselling and i'd think about her every day. I didn't think i'd be able to be here now last year without seeing her but i'm managing ok so far. Anyway, i met another girl - i spoke to her a few minutes in a lecture and thought she was nice. So i then tried to conveniently sit with her in future lectures and get to know her better. Once i knew her name i went to go check her full name through some research. She wasn't interested in anything more and it hurt a few days - but i got over that.

I'm just finding i get attached too easily and end up getting really hurt and just scared of what i'll do one day. I don't know what i can do? :frown:

you scare me aswell. know why? cos you sound like me...

I'm scared of myself

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