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    Should I be feeling guilty for going out to parties when my dad is away on business trips and my sister is away at uni, leaving my mum by herself most saturday evenings? I don't ask her to pick me up ever - I can normally get a lift back from friends, but she always stays awake to make sure I get in ok....and she's quite stressed at the mo with grandparents in hospital etc. I just feel bad for going out and leaving her...but at the same time I don't want to put my life on hold just for her. I don't go out that much compared to some people - should i feel guilty?
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    Uh no. you have to have a life too. Why don't you encourage your mum's mates to come over for the evening whilst you go out?
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    Umm...well, i don't know what sort of relationship you have with her. I think if it was me I wouldn't go out every week, maybe every other week or something. How does she react? Like, does she seem sad or annoyed when you go out?

    She always says she doesn't mind me going out, that it's important i go out and have fun. we get on well normally, a few arguments here and there but never anything major. the other thing is she's not the most sociable person on the planet - she has friends of course, but i think she prefers to watch tv with a glass of wine! I don't know how to encourage her to see friends more often!
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    nothing wrong with spending a night on your own, silence, your tv programs, your wine, feet up and just being on your won can be quite nice - maybe she finds it a break from everything?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She always says she doesn't mind me going out, that it's important i go out and have fun. we get on well normally, a few arguments here and there but never anything major. the other thing is she's not the most sociable person on the planet - she has friends of course, but i think she prefers to watch tv with a glass of wine! I don't know how to encourage her to see friends more often!
    In that case, I wouldn;t worry about it make sure she knows that you are willng to stay in and keep her company if she ever wants you to, but other than that go out and have a good time. If she wants her friends around she'll invite them over.
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    peace and quiet is nice but fun and loudness is nice as well

    maybe instead of going out with your friends sometimes you should take her out for a drink!! have a laugh with her!! so she is taking her mind off of things!!!
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    Try doing things like going to the cinema, or getting a takeaway and renting a DVD occasionally. Of course you should go out and see your friends as well, but I'm sure she would love to be taken out as well sometimes.
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    i completly forgot the point i was ment to be making the same as ice_cube!!

    thats what i ment lol i forgot the first part stupid me lol
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    I'd feel guilty in that situation I reckon, then again I feel guilty about not going home to see my mum during uni term-time...

    Like people have said, try making up for it by spending more time with her, i'm sure she'll really appreciate it.
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    (Original post by ice_cube)
    Try doing things like going to the cinema, or getting a takeaway and renting a DVD occasionally. Of course you should go out and see your friends as well, but I'm sure she would love to be taken out as well sometimes.
    Thats a good advice you should go out together so you are both having fun. Thats the best thing to do.
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    I took my mum to see Pride and Prejeudice when I hadn't spent much time with her. Lots of mother-daughter bonding. Alternatively help her with Chrsitmas shopping for difficult relatives, sure she would appreciate that more than anything!
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    Instead of going out one Saturday night, why don't you surprise your mum by planning a nice night in with her? Cook her tea, crack open a bottle of wine (or something non-alcoholic - I don't know how old you are!) and watch a DVD or have a long chat together. I bet she'd be really pleasantly surprised.
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    The very fact you're asking the question "should i feel guilty?" means you dont already. You cant force guilt.
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    I agree!! Spend lots of time with her, make a fuss of her, then you'll probably feel less guilty. But you know, you're probably being paranoid..i bet she enjoys the peace and quiet!!!
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    (Original post by Fleece)
    The very fact you're asking the question "should i feel guilty?" means you dont already. You cant force guilt.
    I think the very fact she's asking means she does feel guilty already.

    I don't think you should, if your mum's happy like that then that's her choice, just make sure you occasionally make time for some bonding but don't sacrifice your life!

    Cxx
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    It's very likely that your mum is happy about you having a healthy social life and having fun...don't worry about it, she probably enjoys the peace and quiet!
 
 
 
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